by James Huff
“What is it Amy? Are you okay?” She looked at me with sad eyes and began to shed a few tears. “I should be asking you if you are okay John. Listen. I saw everything in that labyrinth. So badly I wanted to stop you. So badly I wanted to just remind you that it was not worth it to be so violent towards those Lead boys. But in the end I did nothing. I failed you John. I am sorry.” I didn’t know what to say. Amy kept crying and I could tell she felt like a failure as a friend. After I got done eating I went across the table and sat down next to her and held her in my arms. She rested her chin on my shoulder and we both exchanged our own tears. We said nothing. We just embraced and took on each other’s pain. In a few moments the bell tolled for us to make our way to the Eastern temple for our morning worship.
The ritual went by as usual and I felt fortunate for not being called up by the Alphae this time. As I was walking out of the temple doors I could feel the sneers from everyone, both my caste and the others. I felt so hated. I made my way to the lifts and toward the hall for my classes. As I exited the lifts and headed down the hallway to my history of the Alphae class I was reminded of just how numb and dead I felt inside. I entered the classroom and took my seat in the back. It was hard for me to pay attention to the lesson for that day. The instructor went over a brief history of the prophet of the Alphae who created the Eastern ritual and this was tied in to our second initiation, “Tested in the Fire.” We were given the same familiar visual overview of this prophet and his history.
After this class I headed to my next class on the theology of the Alphae. There were no seats remaining in the back so I reluctantly took my seat towards the front of the class. Amy took her seat next to me on one side and I was happy to see that Justin took the seat on the other side of me. At least I was among friends. The instructor began his lecture. “Good morning inductees and welcome to your second initiation session here behind the walls of Institution. The theme for this session will be the necessity of suffering in building a healthy relationship with our god the Alphae. We must suffer in order that we may learn to be vulnerable and trust in the Alphae to take that suffering away in his time. But always remember that there is a lesson in any pain that comes in our life. And the Alphae, in his supreme mercy, uses that pain to mold us into stronger children, that we may put his will to use in this world being his humble servants.”
The instructor clicked his pointer and the projector sent a visual of various humans suffering from diseases and emotional pains. Then we could see the Alphae descending upon them and opening their eyes to his infinite love. I felt sick to my stomach seeing this hypocrisy. But I didn’t have the energy to give any of my anger or even my care. The instructor concluded the visual and closed the class with another speech. “I would like to invite one of you in front of the class to share with us how suffering has taught you a valuable life lesson and increased your faith in the Alphae. How about you, Mr. Crawling?” I dreaded hearing my name. I hesitated but went ahead and went up in front of the class.
I decided to be honest but only to a fault. “Well sometimes I get angry or upset and I lash out and people get hurt and I am hurt in turn,” I began. “Then when I learn to humble myself I have found that the Alphae can be merciful,” I lied. I didn’t care to raise any more unwanted attention. Some of the students in the class, like Amy, were there at the initiation when I reacted with violent rage. They could see through my lies. But I cared not. The instructor thanked me and signaled for me to take my seat. Then he released us with a brief prayer and I went to my last academic class for the day, the ritual instruction class.
As I entered the classroom, I noticed that none of my friends shared this class with me. I shrugged off the disappointment and waited patiently for Mr. Signe to begin his lesson. “Good morning students and welcome once more to your ritual instruction class behind the walls of Institution. You should all be very excited for this second initiation marks a series of four rituals that begin the elemental grades. You will each be tested by the four cardinal elements: fire, air, earth, and water, respectively. This is a very exciting time for you all. Remember that the Alphae alone reigns supreme as the master of the fifth element: perfected Spirit. But as his children when you ascend to the mastery of the four cardinal elements, you will all be as sparks that make up the Flame of the embodied perfection of Spirit that the Alphae has attained. It can very much be compared to the Gold metal, which the Alphae alone can attain, but each of you can share in the bounty of that Light.”
Mr. Signe then went on to show us a brief introductory visual of the basics of the Fire element and went over some of the history behind it. Then we were released to go to lunch. After lunch I headed to the gymnasium for my physical education class. Normally I would be very excited to go and train in Victeous, but with the second protocol, the resulting implant and the losing of all those points in the Caste Cup, I knew that I was probably in for another disaster. As I entered the gymnasium, I went to the locker rooms as quickly as I could and got dressed in our training SBU’s as I was told we would be sparring again. Mr. Merck gave a brief speech. “Welcome back inductees to your physical education class. Today you will each choose partners for a sparring session with your avatars. For this sparring understand that there will be no killing blows given. In fact you will all be sparring without weapons and working on various fighting forms. Later we will help train you even further with the use of your respective weapons and this will be a much more individual training. You will each even be given the opportunity to choose new weapons in this new session of initiations. We have been instructed that you will be allowed to keep one weapon and exchange the other if you so choose.” I was glad to hear that as I really detested the inefficiency of my spear. “Now choose your partners and begin your sparring sessions.”
Before I could even try to look for a partner, Peter approached me and once again offered to spar with me. We entered the arc and activated our avatars. Right off the bat I could tell that my focus was way off as Peter was able to charge me and flip me onto the floor almost immediately. I struggled to flip him over, but I felt so powerless compared to before. I had so little energy. Eventually he was able to get me in a chokehold and before I could tap out, I was actually rendered unconscious briefly. As I awoke Peter obviously felt terrible as he kept apologizing. Mr. Merck also seemed concerned as he approached me a little while later after dismissing us. “Are you okay John? You don’t really seem to be on your ‘A’ game today.” “No, I guess not,” I replied. Miss Elana then came up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder, whispering something in his ear. He then apologized and immediately went off with her. Peter helped me to my feet and we went into the locker room together.
Peter was still in the cleansing chamber when I got out and began to get dressed. It was then that one of my caste mates went and barred the door to the locker rooms once most of the people had left and came up to me with about six other boys. “Well, well. If it isn’t John Crawling again. What do you think guys? Do you think he deserves to learn a lesson?” One of the other boys chimed a response. “Yeah let’s teach this asshole what happens when you become an embaressment to our entire caste. We can’t afford to let this one go. Right before they all charged me I could see Peter getting out of the cleansing chamber out of the corner of my eye. His jaw dropped and he stood there motionless. I did not have time to react to what happened next.
The first boy charged me, tackling my body into the lockers and managing to hold me down as each of the other boys took their turns beating me in the face with their fists. My nose began bleeding and I could feel them lift me up and throw me on the floor. Then they each took turns kicking me in the gut and in the ribs. I could feel my bones breaking. Peter was nowhere in sight. He had likely run for help because right when I felt myself slipping into unconsciousness Mr. Merck walked in. He had brought a few drones with him and managed to get most of the boys off me but he was deleyad by mere seconds. That was all the time it took. One of the attackers had s
lammed my head with the force of a charging bull against the cold hard steel of the lockers. Then everything went black once more…
I was amidst a beautiful garden. It was a crisp spring morning and I knew that this place had to be Vaena. There was a woman approaching me from the distance. She wore a pure white dress that was dazzling like diamonds in the morning sun. She had long, flowing silky white hair and eyes that were blue with a subtle silver hue. She smiled subtly as she approached me; a nearly unnoticeable jesture. But I could feel it in the depths of my soul. She silently motioned for me to close my eyes. As I did so she took my hand and I could feel the sting of thorns as a rose stem was placed within the grasp of my fingertips. After a few moments I opened my eyes and the woman was gone and I found myself in a new environment, alone in the middle of the desert wastelands. I looked down in my hand and there was a white rose. It dazzled in the intensity of the afternoon sun, but despite the heat and the scorching desert sun, the rose would not wither.
It was then that Grandfather appeared to me off in the distance. He approached me and without a word motioned for me to plant this beautiful rose in the middle of the desert. I knew that logically there was no way that it could survive in such a perilous environment but I had faith in my beloved grandfather. And so I took the rose and made a small indentation in the rocky ground and by some miracle managed to push the rose through it. Then I began to cry and I couldn’t tell if they were tears of sadness or joy. I bent down over the rose as the tears fell down my face and hit the stem. Suddenly the salty water of my tears caused the rose to bloom further into an entire bush of dazzling white roses and that, in turn slowly transformed the entire environment back into the former land of the beloved Vaena. I smiled to witness such beauty. Then, before I could even express a sense of gratitude, the pain in my body returned as I opened my physical eyes and looked around to see myself in some kind of medical room once more.
The door to the room opened and the all familiar face of Mr. Ivaness appeared. He came to my bedside and smiled. “Welcome back John. I understand that there is probably some lingering discomfort but we were able to heal your fractured ribs and tend to your concussion. You have been in a coma for the last week and I am very happy to see that you are finally awake. I was told to let you know that all of your friends keep you in their thoughts in the time you have been here. Unfortunately due to the policies of the medical wing facilitators, they have not been permitted to visit you or leave any gifts with you, but I can assure you that they are all very concerned and looking forward to seeing you again.”
I felt weak, but the pain was gradually fading away. “What must I do now? I…I just don’t know how to feel. I feel sad in a way. My dreams as of late were filled with such beauty…but I see none here. The hope I once had is fading away. More than anything I just want to join my grandfather, wherever he may be…even if he is among the Alphae in his kingdom. I just want to be with him. I would do anything to be able to see him once more, even giving up my very life.” Mr. Ivaness was silent for a long time. I could tell he was deep in thought and felt that he was pondering his next words carefully, wishing to never bring me anymore pain than I already bore. In that silent moment I knew this man truly cared for me, despite the fact that he was a facilitator of the BMF. There was a certain sense of irony to it all. Finally he sighed, took my hand, and looked into my eyes once more. “John I promise you that your life will not always be filled with so much pain. But at this time you must focus on the one thing that matters the most to you right now. You must take great care to be mindful of your feelings because they will betray you. The more detached you can become, the greater your chances are of coming out of Institution better equipped to deal with the society you were never intended to fit into…that violates your very nature.”
I was shocked to hear a BMF counselor, of all people, speak in such a manner. He stood and walked out right after he shared this revelation. As the door closed behind him I reclined my head back and just stared at the ceiling above me, feeling numb and dead inside followed by a sliver of hope that slowly and subtly began to form in my heart. The white rose…was it hope? Perhaps hope was all that remaied to save me from the affliction which grew in my heart ever since I lost my beloved grandfather. I sighed once more and slowly drifted off to sleep.
Upon awakening I felt much better than before and the pain was gone completely. A drone came through the door a few moments later with some food. After I finished eating he commissioned me to follow him as he escorted me back to my dormitory. It was mid-afternoon by this time and I was ordered to remain in my room getting rest. The Nutritional Drone Squad was commanded to bring my meals while I recuperated. I was to return to my classes in the morning. Before the drone departed it left me with a message that a survellience drone would accompany me in the locker rooms of Victeous at all times from now on through this session of initiations as my own personal body guard. It was quite relieving to hear because I knew none of the enemies I had within my caste would be foolish enough to test one of the drones.
I was unfortunately required to continue using the pod in my bed when I went to sleep and I was disappointed, knowing the Alphae always seemed to show up in my dreams when I used it. But at this point I could not be too upset and disappointed about that since I was still so very tired and really just wanted and needed the extra rest I was given. I fell asleep right after I ate dinner that evening and managed to sleep through the entire night. I awoke to the all familiar sound of the morning bell and groaned in frustration as I slowly got up, cleansed and changed my clothes. As I headed out the door Mr. Ivaness was again waiting in the hall to escort me to the dining hall for breakfast.
“Good morning John, are you feeling better today?” I smiled weakly. “I am still very fatigued but yes I do feel much better than I did when I last saw you.” “That is wonderful John. Listen. I have been commissioned to take you to the official BMF wing here behind the walls of Institution following your Twilight Ritual this evening. In lieu of your individual worship time with the Alphae I have been called together with Dr. Zatts and a few others from your personal BMF team to propose a new opportunity for you with your current protocol that you may find very helpful. We will discuss it more this evening.” I didn’t know what to expect from this news, but I felt confident that it was something good. We approached the dining hall floor and Mr. Ivaness parted after patting me on the back and exchanging hopeful smiles.
I ended up eating breakfast by myself that morning and the rest of the day with my classes seemed to pass by like a dream. I said nothing to Amy or Peter even in the classes we shared. Amy, of course, asked if I was okay and I just ended up shrugging my shoulders and remaining silent. I could tell that we were probably growing distant and it was mostly my own fault. It was hard for me to hang on to hope.
Finally when my physical education class arrived I could look around and could tell that all the students had been warned about the incident that landed me in the medical wing. But no one said anything about it, not even Mr. Merck. He did end up taking me to the side, along with Miss Elana, and asking me to simply sit on the sidelines and observe for the next few days until I felt stronger and more able. I was not bothered by that. After taking my seat and watching the sparring sessions that ensued I could see that Amy really was excelling in Victeous quite remarkably. Her form had changed. It was more graceful this time, not unlike that of Evarrah from the Mercury caste in the last tournament. It was almost as if Amy had studied her moves throughout the entire tournament, preparing herself to incorporate them into her own strategy. She fought with a sense of fierce determination that I never remembered seeing in her before. I knew at some point I wanted us to draw closer together. But I also knew that despite what we had shared the first morning of our second initiation session, what she witnessed in me that night had seriously affected her on an emotional level. She was doing exactly what I did after my rocky start in Institution; she was using Victeous to keep her driving forwa
rd no matter how she felt. I knew what that felt like and suddenly I realized the irony in where all of this was going. It was entirely feasible that I may have ended up warning her this time. I smiled wryly when thinking of that probability, but it was not a smile of spite or joy. It was merely an acknowledgment.
I spent the entire social hour on the sofa by the strange plasma fire, staring deeply into it as I fell into a hypnotic swoon. I awoke with a start as Peter tapped me on the shoulder and let me know that the dinner bell was about to go off. I got up and headed to the dining hall and Peter ended up coming along. He tried to speak to me a few times but I just ate quickly and nodded in his direction that I was okay. The Twilight Ritual went by rather smoothly and as soon as I exited the temple I was met by Mr. Ivaness who was there to escort me to the meeting he spoke of that morning. “I apologize for this John but I am afraid I must blindfold you while we traverse to the lower levels of the BMF headquarters here in Institution.” I shrugged. “You don’t have to apologize. I am used to it by now.” He motioned for me to turn around as he wrapped the blind fold around my face and led me down the hall to the private lifts.
The descent was long and arduous. After we had descended to the lower levels, I could hear Mr. Ivaness insert a key into the wall of the lift and it began to move sideways. Then again it would descend, only later to move laterally and then ascend. All of this motion: up and down and side to side made me feel nauseous so soon after dinner. Mr. Ivaness predicted this and offered me a serum he had for that very condition. It allowed my stomach to calm once more. Finally, we exited the lift and I felt myself being led down a very dark and narrow corridor. After what seemed like hours, we rounded a bend and I could hear Mr. Ivaness unlocking a door and leading me through it. We went down a hallway and then he opened yet another door and led me through it, finally removing my blindfold.