by Croix, J. H.
Susie turned her head to the side, not lifting her head from where it rested on her knees. “Figured you’d gone for a run. I told Emma you usually went even when you weren’t home. Don’t know how you do it.”
Hannah shrugged. “Habit, that’s all. Plus, I like it once I get going. How are you this morning?” she asked.
“Still waking up. I’ll be better after a shower. Do we need to flip a coin for who gets to shower next?” Susie asked.
Hannah laughed. “No. I can wait. You’re quick enough that it won’t matter.”
“And then we go to Kaladi, right?”
“Of course! You know I need my morning cup of coffee. Emma banks on it too.”
Susie zipped through morning traffic to Kaladi. Hannah ordered coffee and a muffin. Next thing she knew, she and Emma were seated in the waiting room of the place Faye had located for them. Susie chattered about her speculation on Hannah’s job options. While the testing had become a massive event in Hannah’s mind, it was uneventful. She and Emma were swabbed in their cheeks and sent on their way with assurances that results would be in within the week.
Emma glanced to Hannah as they walked out together and spoke. “Well, that was silly to worry about. Now we wait for the hard part.” She smiled tentatively.
“I know. I worked myself into a tizzy at points over just getting the damn test done,” Hannah said, pushing the swinging door open into the hallway that would take them back to the waiting room.
“You too, huh? I tried not to worry, but it was hard. I’m realizing this next week will probably be worse.”
Hannah turned to look at Emma. For a split second, she could have convinced herself Emma’s blue eyes were her mother’s. It wasn’t just the color; it was the shape and something else indefinable. Hannah blinked and batted the feeling away, reminding herself her mother was long gone and Emma might not be her sister. “Yeah, I’m guessing this week will probably be worse. At least for today though, we have a few things to do to keep us busy.”
Emma stopped in the hallway and touched her hand to Hannah’s elbow. Hannah turned into Emma’s gaze. “Thank you. I know this is a weird situation. It means a lot to me that you’ve included me in your world for a week or so,” Emma said. She let her hand fall.
Hannah felt tears well for a moment and then subside. She took a breath. “You don’t have to thank me. I’m glad you came, strange as it’s been at times.” Her eyes took in the hallway around her. The hallway could have been any hallway in hundreds of medical offices. It was tiled with nondescript whitish tiles. The walls were a soft cream color. There was one painting hanging on the wall, a vase of flowers that created a spark of bright color in an otherwise sterile space. There was a poster to one side, listing the signs and symptoms of a stroke.
Hannah looked back into Emma’s blue eyes and smiled ruefully. “Let’s go. Susie has us booked for the rest of the day.”
On the drive back to Diamond Creek, Hannah rode in the back and recalled her solitary drive south when she finally returned home. She no longer felt infused with aloneness. They’d spent the rest of the afternoon shopping, returning with enough groceries for months. Susie kept up sporadic commentary for Emma, pointing out various landmarks. They stopped early in the trip at Portage Glacier for Emma to see a glacier up close—the translucent, almost glowing, blue ice appearing ethereal.
Once they made it to Diamond Creek, they swung by Susie’s house first to help her unload her groceries. Susie returned the favor when she dropped them off. The chest freezer in the laundry room was close to full by the time Hannah placed the last item inside. She closed it softly and leaned her hips against the freezer, the quiet in the room enveloping her. The murmur of Susie’s and Emma’s voices in the yard was distant. She needed to call Luke. He’d kept Jessie for her while they’d gone to Anchorage. His parents had been due to arrive a few days ago. In the week that Emma had been here, as much as she wanted to stop thinking about him, her mind wouldn’t obey and her body longed for him. He had come over for dinner one evening and met Emma. She’d wanted to ask him to stay, but she held back.
All three of them tired from the drive, they decided to head to Sally’s for dinner. While Susie drove down the hill, Hannah pulled her phone out and called Luke. She got his voice mail, so she left a message letting him know they were back and that they’d be at Sally’s. She tucked the phone in her purse and looked out the window at the familiar hillside. Susie was explaining to Emma the different types of salmon in Alaska. For a moment, tears welled. Hannah blinked them back. Being home long enough for a run to Anchorage for errands somehow cemented for her that she was truly back. The sights, sounds, and feelings that she’d only been able to consider in her memory while she was away were once again part of her daily life.
Fireweed was starting to bloom along the lower part of the hill as they approached the road that paralleled the shoreline. In open areas, the weed created swaths of color, a bright fuchsia with a hint of lavender. The seasons were stark in Alaska. In spring and summer, the shoreline was the harbinger of what would come at the higher elevations. The lower elevations brought slightly earlier growth and blossoming. Hannah figured that the fireweed that filled the field by her house would be in full bloom within a week or so. Come winter, the upper elevations led the way. Snow would fall there first. Everyone would keep an eye on the mountains across the bay for the first snows. Termination dust, it was called—the dusting of white on mountaintops, stark against the deep green of the spruce trees and rock that covered the mountains. Once snow coated the mountains and started to creep downward, it wouldn’t be long before snow fell elsewhere.
She looked across the bay at the mountains and saw boats dotting the water, most headed toward the harbor. Glancing over at the post office parking lot to see who might be there, she saw Frank’s truck and thought she should give him and June a call to see how they were doing. In minutes, Susie was pulling up at Sally’s. It was early for Sally’s to fill up, so they were able to snag a booth without waiting. Not long after they sat down, Cammi came over, her short honey-colored hair shiny and her eyes lighting up as she reached their booth.
“Hi! Can I sit for a minute?” Cammi asked.
Hannah slid over to make room. “Of course you can. What’s up?”
Cammi sat beside Hannah and slipped an arm over her shoulders. “Not much. Just saw Susie’s car, so I stopped in to say hi. How was Anchorage?”
Hannah shrugged. “The usual. We did errands. I met with my dad’s old friend about some consulting work. I’ve got two places lined up to talk with. I think I’ll actually be able to start working soon, other than just odd jobs. How have you been?”
“You know, staying busy making coffee. Summer’s my money time. You know what that means…work every day.” Cammi shrugged and turned to Emma. “How are you enjoying Alaska?”
Hannah had introduced them last week when they’d run into Cammi at the grocery store. She had taken Emma to Cammi’s coffee truck the following day.
While Cammi and Emma were talking, a waitress had walked over to the booth. After they ordered drinks, Cammi turned to Hannah. “So what’s up with your father’s friend and work stuff?”
“He gave me some contacts and has two consulting jobs lined up for me. It’ll take me a bit, but he thinks I can probably end up doing full-time consulting work, especially if I’m willing to travel now and then,” she said.
“Explain to me what you’ll be doing,” Cammi asked. “I know you have your degree in environmental science, but I don’t quite know what you’d be doing for consultation.”
“It varies. Usually I could consult on projects, maybe building or something, when they need to assess the environmental impact in an area. I also might be able to help with assessing how to set aside areas to be protected, like when they set up the conservation heritage project here. If there are problems, say runoff affecting a nearby
river, I can help with support on how to ensure they mitigate the effects. Are you bored yet?”
Cammi shook her head. Emma spoke up. “I’m not. I haven’t heard much about your work yet, so I’m curious.”
“Well, it’s not quite yet my work—it’s what I’m trying to make happen. Before I moved back, I worked for a wetlands conservation organization. It was a small nonprofit. They did a lot of educational stuff, provided consultation on building projects that were near wetlands, and helped identify areas that needed to be protected. That’s the kind of thing someone does with a degree in environmental science,” she explained.
Their waitress approached the booth with their drinks and took their order. Cammi decided to join them for dinner. Conversation moved on to local gossip. Cammi was usually privy to what was happening in town with her coffee truck being a popular stop when it was open in the summer months. Hannah looked around Sally’s while they talked. The knot of tension that she’d held inside for so long was slowly unraveling since she’d been back in Diamond Creek. The pared-down décor of Sally’s with its wooden booths and the low hum of conversation created a sense of familiar comfort for her.
Hannah took a sip of her wine and glanced toward the door. She wondered if Luke had gotten her message yet. She knew his parents were here, so she wasn’t sure he’d be able to meet her tonight. As the thought passed through her mind, the door swung open, and Jared, Nathan, and Luke pushed through. All three looked as if they’d come straight off the water, still wearing rubber boots and sporting windblown hair. Her heart gave a thump and her belly fluttered. With Emma here, she hadn’t seen as much of him as usual. If there was a usual in a new relationship, that is. He glanced around the room and lifted his chin with a smile when he saw her, dimples flashing. He tapped Jared on the shoulder and turned him in the direction of their booth.
Jared reached them first. “Hey there,” he said with a brief nod. Hannah watched his eyes travel to Susie who merely took a sip of wine and nodded. She wondered if Jared ever relaxed. Of the three brothers, he came across as the most serious, rarely letting down his guard.
Luke and Nathan had stopped the waitress on their way and appeared to be ordering drinks. When they came over, they stopped at a nearby empty table and lifted it to place beside the booth.
“We’re joining you all, in case you hadn’t noticed,” Nathan said with a wink. “Luke seems to think we’ve been invited, or I guess he has.”
Susie piped up. “Luke was invited, and we’ll say you and Jared are too, now that you’re here.”
Cammi got up and helped them situate the table and three chairs and gestured for Luke to take the spot she’d vacated by Hannah in the booth. He slid in beside her.
“So, how was Anchorage?” he asked.
“Good. The usual errands. How are your parents?”
She had to focus to think with the heat of Luke’s thigh resting against hers. She looked over at Emma who was telling the others how much she’d enjoyed seeing the Portage Glacier up close.
“Parents are good. They’re at the Boathouse tonight. Mom loves it there and wanted a date with Dad, so we took off on a short fishing trip this afternoon.” He gave her a long look. “What are the chances I could have a few hours alone with you tonight?”
Her heart sang, and she ignored the voice inside that told her not to get so excited.
“Pretty good. You probably can’t stay with your parents here, huh?”
Luke shook his head. “It’s not like I can’t. Just that you don’t even want to know how far my mother would run with that. Okay with Emma here?
“I’m pretty sure she knows we’re grown-ups,” Hannah said with a smile.
“I know, I know. Just didn’t want to take away from your time with her,” he said. He changed topic. “Jessie did great this week; she’s had even more fun since my parents got here—more hands to pet her.”
“Thanks for taking care of her,” Hannah said.
“Anytime. Although I’d rather not have you gone for too many days.” Luke paused and looked away before glancing back to her quickly. “Not easy for me to admit, but I missed you.”
Hannah’s heart kicked up, and she looked at his profile. “I missed you too.” She was startled that Luke had said what he did and just as startled that she’d responded as she did. The feeling was true, but she had honed the skill of not letting any man matter this way. Vulnerability spiked through her.
The moment passed, and they were drawn into the conversation with the others. The rest of the evening passed quickly, filled with food, drinks, and company. Hannah looked around Sally’s while they were eating. She could picture her father talking with friends at one of the tables in the center of the dining area. He’d often met with friends after work here a few times a week. Sometimes he would play music with his band of friends on the small stage in the bar area. Her mother didn’t go to Sally’s as often as he did, but she often came when he played. Hannah recalled evenings when she was much younger. Her mother would bring her along when her father played music. They usually sat in one of the booths along the wall in the bar area with a friend or two of her mother’s. Hannah would manage to stay awake for maybe the first hour or so and then doze off, allowed to lie down on the booth seats with a blanket draped on top of her or balled up into a makeshift pillow.
The visceral experience of those memories felt simultaneously distant and near; the years between then and now felt outside of time. Her mind returned to the present, Luke’s thigh still warm against hers. He’d rested one hand on her leg, his thumb absentmindedly stroking her leg. Catching Susie’s gaze, she flushed when Susie winked. She wasn’t quite ready to admit it, but Susie’s hunch might have been right. The group broke up not long after. Susie agreed to take Emma home while she and Luke went to get Jessie to bring her home.
Chapter 20
Hannah leaned against the deck railing at the house. Jessie was running wildly around the yard in the dark. Night was coming earlier every day now with the long summer days fading fast. Time seemed to race in Alaska as summer wound to a close; endless days rapidly became shorter. One sensed the quickening of winter, as fall was a blink here, not a true season. Snow would fall as early as October, nights coming early and slow summer sunsets a distant memory. Hannah thought back to Jessie’s reaction when she’d arrived at Luke’s house with his brothers. Jessie had leaped in the air and circled her excitedly. She’d tried to kneel down to greet her, only to have Jessie almost knock her over in excitement. His parents hadn’t returned from dinner yet, so she hadn’t met them.
She felt Luke’s arms slip around her from behind. His body lined up behind her, and heat radiated through her from head to toe. She sighed and leaned her head against his shoulder.
“Did I mention it was good to see you?” he asked.
“Maybe, but you can say it again if you’d like,” she replied, her lips curving into a smile.
“It’s good to see you,” he said with a small laugh.
She felt his laugh through to her toes. After they’d let Jessie out, she’d hollered a greeting to Emma who was already on her way to bed. Emma had waved from the upstairs landing before turning toward the guest bedroom.
“How were the past few days?” she asked.
His shrug lifted her head slightly, and she brought it up and turned in his arms to face him. He stepped back just enough for her to turn and kept his arms looped around her waist. “Busy with work, and then our parents got here. I should warn you—they want to meet you.”
She experienced a moment of hesitation. She had considered that she’d likely meet them, but it represented something more concrete than she was ready for with Luke. “I’d like to meet them,” she heard herself saying, not so sure how she felt about it.
“I guess we hadn’t really talked about that. If it’s not okay, you can say so.”
Hannah thought for a
moment about what it would mean to meet Luke’s parents. Despite her mixed feelings, she wanted to meet them and that surprised her. “It’s okay. I want to meet them.” Her answer was bittersweet because it also reminded her that she’d never have the chance to introduce him to her parents. Her thoughts were interrupted by a growl from Jessie, accompanied by a loud rustle in the yard. Luke looked over her shoulder toward the yard. Turning in his arms, she could make out the shape of a moose on the edge of the yard, just where the lawn met the field of fireweed. It was a young male, its antlers outlined in the dark. Jessie ran onto the deck and stood beside them. They heard the moose snort and paw the ground and then saw his large shadow turn away and amble into the fireweed. The moose made a soft swishing sound as he walked into the field, the fireweed and other greenery brushing against his sides.
Hannah looked down to Jessie who stood at attention beside them, staring into the dark field. “Well, Jessie seems to know how to handle herself with moose. If she ran into any before, it hasn’t been since she’s been with me. It can get dicey when dogs chase moose.”
Luke followed her gaze to Jessie. “Good thing. Doesn’t surprise me though; she’s a smart girl.”
Hannah reached down to stroke Jessie, who was still staring into the yard but had relaxed enough to sit down. She leaned her hips against the deck railing. “Back to your parents…I won’t pretend it doesn’t make me nervous to meet them. But I’ll get over it,” she said with a shrug.
“They won’t bite. But just be aware that my mom’s been on the hunt for one of us to produce grandkids. No matter what we say, she can’t get off it.”
“I see,” she said. “You can’t be their only target…there’s three of you.”
She felt more than saw his smile in the dark. “Well, no…but Jared insists he’s never getting married, or even having a serious relationship. And Nathan…well…he’s Nathan. Focused on having a good time for now. That leaves me. Probably wouldn’t matter all that much except that I’m actually seeing someone—you, that is.”