I felt like I must punish myself.
I missed her and my daughters. She moved away and refuses to tell me where she is. Though I love my daughters I didn’t hunt them down. They were better off without me in their lives. No matter how hard I try I just can’t help myself.
Just thirty minutes ago, I was knee deep in pussy.
Now I sit here alone trying to figure out how to stop myself. I wondered if fucking random women was worth losing my family over.
I have never felt so alone.
Sleep eluded me right now.
It has for a long time.
Losing my Religion
“Can’t you sleep?” She asked trailing her hand up and down my smooth dark chest.
I shook my head.
It was hard to turn off the thoughts that were swimming around in my head.
I rolled over and looked at her.
“I’m not sure I’m supposed to sleep.” I answered.
She laughed.
I liked her laugh, yet it was one of the many things that kept me awake at night. That and the immense guilt I felt every time she ended up in my bed.
She was very hard to resist. She was the epitome of temptation.
She was amazing right down to her smooth chocolate legs and incredible pussy. She was short and thick with an hour glass figure. Her ass was massive and her breasts were an even match. She was damn near perfect and I always felt lucky when she bent that ass in the air and beckoned me to enter her tight and wet hole.
Tonight was no different. I knew I would not get any sleep.
We had already made love and I was doing what I always did afterwards; wallowing in my own guilt and eternal damnation.
After our twice weekly sessions, I always found it hard to get any sleep afterwards. There was always too much guilt.
She reached over and caressed my face.
“There are so many other things we could do besides sleep.”
She was insatiable, but who was I to talk. My dick was still hard and I wanted another piece of her.
Yet, the guilt kept me awake at night. I never knew how she could sleep so peacefully in light of what we were doing. It never seemed to bother her.
She reached over and wrapped her hand around my dick.
“I can help you relax. You are always so tense. Sit up!”
I obliged leaning against the headboard. She got on all fours poking her ample ass in the air. She brought her large breasts down and slid my hard dick in-between them. She spit on my dick as she slid it up and down between her breasts.
I moaned loving my view.
“Do you like that?” She asked.
I nodded unable to get the words from my mouth.
She removed her breasts and replaced the warmth with her mouth.
I moaned enjoying the sensation of her soft and juicy lips on my shaft. I tried not to think about her husband and how upset he would be to know his wife spent her free time away from home pleasuring me in so many ways.
The thought kept me out of church on Sundays. I could never look him in the eye. I knew I was going to hell.
It was always so difficult to sleep.
Her husband was a lucky man, though I could never figure out how he acquired this dirty, nasty slut as his wife. There was word going around that she gave good head and it was not long before her lips were wrapped around my dick.
I looked down and watched as her lips moved up and down my shaft. I loved to watch her suck me off. She was so good at it. I watched her lick the length of my shaft and then recaptured the head in the warmth of her mouth. I didn’t think it would take long for me to come.
I leaned forward searching for her wetness. She grabbed my hand and placed it between her legs. Her pussy was so wet and hot. She moaned as I played with her clit. It intensified the oral she was giving me.
I inserted two fingers into her dripping hole. She squirmed and moaned. It was incredible how she bounced her ass up and down pleasuring herself with my fingers.
Yet, she never faltered in her goal to get me off. I could feel my orgasm building.
I slipped two more fingers into her pussy. She moaned increasing her gyration on my hand. She did such a good job using my fingers to fuck herself that she beat me to the punch. She moaned and went partially limp for a minute.
“Oh yes,” she cried out.
I could feel her juices drip down my hand and forearm. It turned me on.
She regained her composure and continued to give me pleasure. I couldn’t take it anymore. I came hard filling her mouth with my cum. She didn’t hesitate to swallow every last drop.
We both laid there trying to catch our breaths. I was unable to fully enjoy my pleasure. The guilt started to creep in and dampen my mood. I knew she would have to leave soon and go back to him.
It was Saturday and she needed to get back before dinner to help him prepare for tomorrow. I watched her dress and knew that I would not sleep yet again tonight.
It is hard to sleep when you have been fucking the preacher’s wife for months.
Red Eye
She kept staring at me and I tried to pretend that I don’t notice. I was just going to continue to pretend the way I had been pretending not to notice her subtle advances all night and all weekend.
We have been playing this game for a while now. Since the day I started working here, I have been trying to stay the good girl. I had been trying to pretend that when she licked her lips or stood with those short skirts at the printer, it did not turn me on or make me so wet.
We sat in the airport waiting on our red eye flight. We were the “flight team”. We were hired to fly around and act as liaisons for the company. It required us to fly to one place and be back at the office the next morning sometimes.
It was fine with me. I always had trouble sleeping anyway. I was happy to do something useful with my insomnia.
I have had insomnia for years now.
However, sitting here with Candice was not helping much. She continued to flirt with me just like she had been flirting with me all weekend. This was nothing new. She flirted with me whenever she got a chance.
It’s just this weekend she has been acting extra aggressive.
I knew she was a lesbian when I first took this job. I was fascinated by that fact. Where I come from you don’t see many homosexuals or no one ever really came out about it.
It brought back a lot of dormant thoughts I have had for a long time about women. It didn’t help that she was beautiful. She was white with pale skin and jet black hair. Her eyes were brown and she always liked to stay tan. When I first met her I thought she might be flirting with me. I was trying not to assume because she was a lesbian she hit on every woman.
However, she made sure that we were partners and she was always at my desk with short skirts…and sometimes no panties.
I was not sure if anyone else knew she didn’t wear any panties. I would watch her everyday hoping to get glimpses of her pussy. This would then lead to me going home feeling ashamed and upset. I would stay up all night wondering what her pussy tasted like.
I tried in vain after that to get a new partner. I was not successful and was stuck working and flying around the country with my fantasy.
This night we had a 3am flight and I was struggling while she slept on my shoulder. She looked so beautiful and a part of me was wondering why I was passing up such the opportunity to fuck such a beautiful woman.
I cannot have these thoughts about a woman. I was raised that homosexuality in any form was a sin and that even thoughts about it would send me to hell and I would be punished with eternal damnation all my life.
It struck the fear of God into me.
Since I was a young girl, I was frightened that my sexual feelings were going to shame my family and send me to hell. I had always been a very sexual girl. When I was 5 years old I was interested in boys. My parents never knew that I looked at boys that way at the young age of 5. I had my first kiss of a boy in kindergart
en and by the time I was in the 2nd grade I was sticking my tongue down boys’ throats. I just had to have a taste.
It didn’t stop there.
When I was in middle school, I would let little boys finger me on the bus. Then when I realized how good that felt, I began masturbating like a mad woman.
I always told myself that I was a good girl if I kept my virginity. As long as I stayed a virgin I felt that I was not letting my parents down.
So I pursued sexual activities that didn’t involve sexual intercourse.
Not long after that I realized I was fascinated by the female body. It seemed that when I masturbated I would see myself with other women. In my regular life however I was still pursuing my sexual encounters with boys. Where I came from there were no outward lesbians or girls that had fun with other girls. Black girls in my neighborhood didn’t admit those things and if you talked about giving head to a boy you were labeled a slut.
I tried my best to hold my indiscretions. I didn’t want to be labeled as a “HO”. So I cut back on dick sucking for a while with boys in my school.
When I was in the 8th grade I was introduced to the internet and I became hooked chatting with older men and older women having cyber sex every chance that I got. Afterward I would feel so dirty and ashamed.
That is when my insomnia started.
I found it hard to sleep knowing the things that I was doing. Every Sunday in church I would sit there with my head down knowing that my family tried to save me but I was going to hell and there was nothing they could do to stop it.
It didn’t help much that the sermon was coming from my father and sometimes from my brother. They were Baptist pastors in my church and they believed that women who had any form of sex before marriage were damned to hell with the other sinners. Especially homosexuals, there was a special place in hell for them. I lay awake every night wondering what they would think of me if they found out what I was doing.
In high school I would stay up at night because of the guilt and I would just constantly add to it by watching late night movies that included sexual scenes. I particularly liked watching the lesbian scenes.
I had always wanted to make love to a woman but I have denied it my whole life. I didn’t think that I was gay because I still wanted a nice hard cock inside of me every chance that I got. Yet, I was still having fantasies of sucking on a woman’s clit and making her cum in my mouth.
I met my husband at church and he is an amazing man. He reminded me of my father. He is tall with dark skin and very religious. My father and my older brother were happy that I was dating such a God-fearing man. They thought he was perfect for me. Being both ministers themselves they were elated that he would be the man to take care of their daughter/sister.
I knew that I cared for him and that I loved him but, there was something missing. He wasn’t as sexually explorative as I was. But for a God-fearing man, he did have a sex drive that kept me going. He wanted it all the time every night after we were married. He was excited that his wife was a virgin and he was the only man that had touched her body. I neglected to tell him of all the dicks that I had sucked that got me to that point.
I neglected to tell him that my senior year in high school I kissed a girl classmate for the first time and I really liked it. I also neglected to tell him that I fantasized about having an orgy with a group of women. I fantasized about just lying there with a woman sitting on my face and another woman eating my juicy pussy.
I was thinking about all this waiting on my flight trying to hold it together. I felt her rustle and squirm.
She sat up from my shoulder and looked at me.
“What time is it?”
I looked at my watch and then back at her.
“It’s 1:56.” I said.
She stretched out her arms and placed her head back on my shoulder. I was happy that she still wanted to lay on me. I didn’t want her to know that I liked having her warmth on me. Suddenly I felt her hand on my arm and she began to caress me.
“You know,” she said continuing to stroke my arm. “We have plenty of time before our flight.”
I knew this, but I was wondering why she felt the urge to mention how much time we had. I just knew that my pussy was getting wetter the longer she stroked my arm. I knew that I needed to get away from her before I let myself do something that I should not do.
“Yes, I think I need to go to the restroom before our flight. You know how much I hate peeing on a plane.”
She laughed.
“You’re right. I think that I will go with you.”
I sighed. She was thwarting my plan to get away from her. I needed my time alone so that I could think and cool off. I grabbed my carry-on bag and headed to the restroom. She followed flipping her bag over her shoulder.
When we got to the bathroom I headed for the last stall as I always do in any public restroom. I am not sure why I always choose the last stall but that was just how it happened. I really didn’t have to pee, but I pretended by pulling down my panties.
I guess the door didn’t lock very well because before I could sit down on the toilet the door flung open and almost hit me in the face. I was too shocked to say anything and Candice pushed in closing the door behind her.
“Candice! What are you doing-?”
She grabbed me and I almost fell back onto the toilet. I tried to move away from her, but she pinned against the wall. Before I could think, she was kissing me. Her tongue was in my mouth searching for mine. She tasted like bubblegum and I was finding it hard to resist. I let my tongue find hers and we kissed.
My pants were still down and she took advantage of that by letting her fingers find my pussy. I gasped when she found my wetness. This brought me out of my stupor and I tried to push her off me.
“Wait, we cannot do this!” I exclaimed.
She smiled and tried to kiss me again.
“Stop!” I shrieked.
I was starting to freak out.
She sighed placing her hands on her hips.
“Erin, why are you pretending that you don’t want this as much as I do?”
I was at a loss for words for a second. Apart of my brain was telling me to shut up and just fuck her already. Yet, I was consumed by fear and guilt and I wasn’t sure what to do. She took my silence as an opening and dropped to her knees.
I felt her tongue on my pussy and I melted. My pants dropped to my ankles and I parted my legs to give her better access. I leaned against the stall wall while this beautiful creature devoured my pussy and that is what it felt like. It felt as if she was surviving off my pussy. It felt so good and I could feel my orgasm building. I grabbed her head and stroked her hair while she ate me.
She didn’t let up. I could feel her hand caress my ass while she ate me. I bit my tongue and tried not to moan. After all we were still in a public place and that was the last thing I needed was to get caught in the stall fucking a woman.
My orgasm was close and I grabbed a handful of her hair trying to hold on with all I had. The sound of her slurping and sucking finally sent me over the edge and every measure that I used to stay quiet in there suddenly failed and I let out a loud moan as I came in her mouth spilling my juices down her chin.
She stood reaching behind her and grabbed some toilet paper to wipe her face.
She smiled.
“I knew you wanted it. Baby you don’t know how long I have waited to do that. I have wanted to taste your pussy for a year now and I must say it was worth the wait.”
I just stood there trying not to let it sink in what I just did. My mind was still cloudy and I was still driven to fuck up even more.
I grabbed her and placed my mouth on hers. She was shocked at first then she began to kiss me back. She wrapped her arms around my waist and I placed a hand on either side of her face and kissed her hungrily.
I pulled back and looked at her.
“I want to taste you.”
My voice sounded so far away and it didn’t sound like
my own. It felt like a dream. This could not be my reality.
She didn’t hesitate. I think she was afraid that I would change my mind or she was just as horny as I was. She pulled down her pants and slipped out of her heels. She pulled one leg out. She rested her foot on the toilet.
I then noticed she wasn’t wearing panties.
I just stared at it for a moment. Her pussy was glistening. It was wet and waiting for some action. She placed two fingers inside of her juicy hole. She pulled them out and they were soaked. She smiled.
I just continued to watch her. She placed her two wet fingers in my face.
“I thought you might want a sample before you dig right in.”
I stared at her fingers and then I opened my mouth and welcomed them inside my warm opening. I licked her fingers and was amazed at how good her juices tasted. It only added fuel to my fire and I immediately dropped to my knees. I stuck out my tongue and let it lead me over to her pussy. Once my tongue made contact it was like I turned into another person. I just licked and sucked on her delicious pussy.
I was eating her as if I had not been fed in weeks. It was something that I had wanted to do my whole life and I was trying not to let in any thoughts of guilt into my brain. I just wanted to make her come and I wanted to make her come bad.
She was moaning softly and that made me confident. I felt like I knew how to please her and I just continued to lick her pussy and use my tongue to play with her clit. It was so good and I didn’t want to ever stop. If I could just stay in this bathroom and eat her pussy I would be content.
Finally I felt her body jerk and she grabbed my head forcing my face further into her pussy. I had her juices up my nose and I didn’t care. Her cum flowed out of her hole and I hungrily lapped it up. After her orgasm subsided I was still down there lapping at her. Finally I stood and reached for some toilet paper behind her.
I exited the bathroom without a word and made my way back over to our seats. The reality of what I just did was sinking in and I just wanted to cry. I held back the tears as she sat down next to me. She looked over at me and I turned my head.
Insomnia: What happens when you can't sleep Page 2