Burning Resolution

by T. M. Cromer

  The tears came on the heels of his sarcasm. She couldn’t have dammed the dike for all the wooden shoes in Holland. Where that analogy came from she didn’t know. Using the long sleeve of her shirt, she wiped her running nose. What an idiot she could be!

  A sympathetic hug from her mother made her weep all the more.

  “Mom, how could you raise such a moron?” she asked, harsh on herself.

  “I didn’t. I raised a bright, talented, and lovely young woman. One who, for whatever reason, doesn’t seem to have any self-worth. I don’t know why,” her mom responded. Honesty shone from her bright green eyes. “He’s a keeper, Erica. I think you should cut him a break. Don’t push him away because you feel he is too good for you.”

  “That’s not what I’m doing!”

  “Aren’t you? There isn’t some small part of you that figures if he can love you, screw-up that you think you are, then there must be something wrong with him?”

  Erica sat stunned by her mom’s harshness.

  “Don’t look all betrayed. I’m giving it to you straight. I’m tired of watching you throw your life away on immature jerks.” Mary Sutton’s hard words were in direct conflict with her gentle touch as she helped Erica disrobe. “Finally, you have a smart, funny, and might I add, sexy-as-hell guy catering to your every need, and you have put the brakes on. He cares about you. It’s evident in everything he does or says. Don’t be an idiot.”

  “You’ve never called me an idiot before.”

  “You’ve never acted like one before. Besides, I didn’t call you one. I said don’t be one,” Mary corrected. “You have a borderline genius IQ. Use it.”

  Nothing like tough love to snap a person out of her self-absorbed mode. Erica conceded the point. “You’re right.”

  “I know I’m right. Where do you think you got your smarts from anyway?”

  Both women broke out in laughter. The quip was a long standing joke between them.

  “Thanks, Mom.”

  “You’re welcome. We all need a reality check on occasion,” she said. “Want me to send Mr. Studly back in here to scrub your back?”

  Apparently, a person was never too old to be embarrassed by their parent’s sex jokes.

  “Okay, ewww. Don’t think of him that way, or I won’t be able to.”

  A light chuckle answered her command.

  Fifteen minutes more and Erica felt presentable. “Could you have Zack come help me now?”

  “Sure thing,” Mary said with a wink.

  She felt him enter the room. His physical presence was a force all its own. Erica fancied he would have made the perfect Jedi, if such things were real, because he could compel people to want to respond to him without a word being spoken from his lips.

  Speaking of lips, she noted his weren’t smiling. Very unlike him. She owed him an apology for being an ass. Any more of this and he would think she was as mental as the crackpot who stabbed her and lit her house on fire.

  Clearing her throat, she spoke, the words almost inaudible. “I’m sorry.”

  “Excuse me? I couldn’t hear you.”

  He damn well could. For fuck’s sake, he was only four feet away.

  “I’m sorry,” she repeated, louder and angrier. The anger a direct result of the slight smirk forming on his face.

  “For?”

  “Really? You can’t just accept the apology? You have to be an asshole?”

  “Ah, there’s the woman I fell in love with. Welcome back, babe.”

  “Up yours!”

  “I think you’re just hangry. Let’s go get you fed before you rip our guests’ throats out, shall we?”

  “Bite me,” she grumbled and slipped her arms around his neck as he hauled her up into his arms. The nip on her shoulder, produced a yelp. “What the—?”

  “Just complying with your every wish, my little snook’ums,” Zack answered, cutting off her half-spoken question.

  “Ass.”

  His laugher had her own creeping up on her.

  * * *

  Standing outside, with a direct view of Erica through the French doors, Zack observed her interacting with his family. The brunch had turned into an all-day event, with his brothers, mother and Shonda joining the crowd already assembled for the late morning meal.

  Jacob had scarcely left Erica’s side. The only time he’d done so had been to retrieve a drink, food, or napkin for her. Regret stole in. Had he done Jacob a disservice by not looking to settle down before now? To see his son coming out of his shell and responding to her caring touch or smile made him wish he’d recognized the boy’s need before now.

  “I thought I smelled something burning.”

  Mason startled Zack from his musing. With a jolt, he surveyed the meat on the grill. Nothing seemed to be…ah, yes. He was a bit slow on the uptake. His sarcastic ass of a sibling was referring to his thinking. “Nice, asshat.”

  “Oh, someone has it bad,” Mason taunted.

  A rough clasp of his brother’s hand around his neck, almost made him stumble into the flame. “Shit, man! Have a care.”

  “If you weren’t mooning over your pretty redhead…” The sentence was left unfinished, causing him to look up from flipping the burgers onto a platter.

  Erica’s best friend had got up to leave, and the scowl on Mason’s features would have been humorous if Zack didn’t know his brother lived in his own personal hell from Shonda overhearing the “casual fuck” comment earlier in the week and from the number Melanie had done him years before. Anger threatened whenever he thought about that cheating skank. He could only imagine what Mason went through.

  “You should apologize,” he said.

  “The hell I will.”

  “Mason, don’t be an ass. You obviously have chemistry. Why not see where it leads?”

  “Fuck off. Did I ask you?”

  Backing off would be the prudent thing to do. However, Zack was tired of witnessing Mason’s constant parade of loveless conquests. It had been fourteen years, and now was past time for his brother to move on.

  “The fuck I will. You’re being stubborn.” He grabbed the dish of burgers from Mason’s hand. “Go ask her to stay for dinner. No one is saying you have to marry the woman. But you can get your feet wet again by dating a nice girl. And she is nice. I knew her in school, and Erica speaks highly of her.”

  Zack left Mason with his mouth hanging open and moved inside to the warmth of the house. He detoured to the kitchen to get a beer, then made his way to the living room. Time to see about his pretty redhead. Whistling, he sauntered off in her direction. Yeah, there was something to be said about love. He was happy to have fallen in it. And never more so than when she glanced up and lit with her own inner joy as their eyes connected. A lift of his beer and a nod of her head in return was the silent acknowledgment of what they shared.

  Her attention veered back to her father recalling a story about her childhood exploits. Erica rolled her eyes but joined in the merriment around her.

  A vibration from the cellphone in his pocket distracted him. Still smiling from Pete Sutton’s story, Zack read the message on the screen.

  “Enjoying your little party? It will be your whore’s last.”

  His heart stopped.

  “Zack? What is it?” Erica’s concern was evident. However, he was unable to respond. His stalker’s threat froze him to his core.

  “Hey, man. What’s going on?” Mason snatched his phone and read the message for himself. “Jesus Christ!”

  All at once, everyone gathered around to see for themselves what had him paralyzed in place, fixated on Erica where she still sat on the sofa, and his brother swearing up a blue streak. The chorus of voices all sang a different refrain.

  “Oh, dear God!”

  “What the hell?”

  “This person needs to be stopped!”

  “Daddy, is Erica going to be all right?”

  Still, he stood rooted to the spot. That stupid muscle in his chest had restarted at doubl
e time. It hammered at such a rate he doubted even on his most strenuous cardio days he’d ever achieved its like before. Only when Erica started to stand did he move, surging forward to halt her in her tracks. Knowing she intended to come to his side.

  Zack wrapped her in his tight embrace, unable not to. The need to touch her, make sure she was real and alive, overwhelmed him.

  “Zack, you’re hurting me.”

  The little groan of pain she emitted had him loosening his grip but not enabling her to break free. “I have to hold you right now. I…”

  The hoarse voice, the pounding heart, the sweat running down his back—all signs of his terror—made him physically ill. He set her from him and flew into the kitchen, just in time to lose the contents of his stomach into the trash can.

  A cool washcloth found its way to the back of his neck as he rested his forehead against his arms on the granite counter. “Breathe, son.”

  For his mother, he tried—inhaling deeply and exhaling. Again and again he repeated the action, striving for control. On the tail end of his fear came a white hot rage. What was he doing here acting like a pussy when a lunatic was out there with eyes on their house? How else did she know they were all together?

  He shoved away from the counter and rushed to the front door. On the off chance she was outside, he intended to put an end to these attacks. No matter what it took.

  “No!” Erica shouted. “Somebody stop him.”

  She’d guessed his intent. Spinning he threw up a hand to halt his brothers in their tracks. “Don’t you dare touch me. I’m ending this.”

  “Whoever it is doing this is probably long gone, bro,” Dane said, always the calm, logical one.

  “I don’t want you going out there, Zachary,” Connie stated in a way as to make it non-negotiable, as a mom was wont to do.

  “You don’t understand. None of you do.” He swore and drove his fist through the drywall by the entrance. “Goddammit!”

  “Zack, look at me.” Erica’s soft voice had the ability to bring his pacing to an end. “Right now she’s transfixed on me. Yet, I’m worried if you confront her, going on the assumption I’m right and it is a female, she might snap. In her mind she thinks you’re hers, but if you deny her, that puts a target on your back as well as mine.”

  “What do you propose we do? I’m done with waiting for the police department to find a fucking clue,” he ranted and resumed pacing again. “What the hell are they even doing? Sitting on their asses eating donuts? Because they sure as shit aren’t working to find out who it is.”

  “Please.”

  One utterance, spoken low and infused with worry, was enough to bring him back to himself. To shake off the raw emotion that had him acting like a beast to the people he loved.

  “Who has my cell? Give it to me, please,” he demanded, palm up, fingers gesturing in a quick back and forth motion to indicate his impatience.

  Mason slapped the device into his hand. “Don’t do anything stupid.”

  “Fuck off,” Zack growled and dialed Bucky to ream him out and demand results. “I don’t want excuses, Buck. Find her, or I will. I can promise you, if I do, it won’t be pretty.”

  He clicked the off key and flung the phone in one last fit of pique.

  Chapter Eleven

  “I want to be alone, Erica.”

  Zack’s body language gave voice to his words. One forearm rested on the window casing, while his hand sat fisted in the pocket of his jeans. Tension lined his hunched shoulders.

  “I can’t leave you to wallow. This issue concerns us both, Zack. Please don’t shut me out.”

  “Look, I did as you requested. I’m letting the cops handle it. Don’t expect me to like it.”

  She didn’t have an answer. Basically, she unmanned him in front of a roomful of people. Made him feel useless to help resolve the situation. He’d been upset for the better part of the last three days. She was grateful her parents went home yesterday. She didn’t want her mother thinking she’d made another poor choice.

  His deep sigh drew her gaze. “I’ll be out to make dinner in a bit.”

  “That’s not why I’m here, Zack. You don’t need to take care of me or cook for me. I can manage for myself,” she snapped.

  The derisive snort pissed her off more. This whole fiasco was getting to her as well. Did he really think it only involved him?

  “You know what? Fuck it. I’m outta here,” she said. She threw up her hands and spun to exit.

  “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  “Exactly what I said. I’m leaving. You didn’t ask for this nightmare, but neither did I,” she said. “You’ve been a bear for the last few days, snapping at anyone and everyone. Well, I’ve had it.”

  Disbelief warred with fury on his face. “Wow, you’re one to talk. I’ve dealt with you swearing at me over coffee, pizza, and exercise. I’ve opened my home to your ungrateful ass. What have I gotten for it but a headache and my kid shuffled off to his grandparents?”

  He stole her breath with his accusations. They were reminiscent of how she’d been addressed in the past by her ex-boyfriends. What was it about her that brought out the worst in men?

  “So much for love, huh?” she whispered. “I’ll be out in an hour.”

  “Erica, wait!” His shout followed her out of his office.

  It forced her to hurry to the bedroom. The disdain on his face had been the worst. She wondered how long he’d felt that way. Jesus, just last week he was professing his love. It had all been too much, too soon. Experience had taught her to go slow, but no, she had to jump right in without thought to consequences if the situation went sideways. Well, looks like the shit had hit the fan.

  After entering the room, she slammed and locked the door. Leaning back against it, she thought the tears would follow on the heels of her ragged breaths. They never made an appearance. It seemed she was too numb to cry. That was a bonus. Hysterics would solve nothing.

  Zack’s fist on the door pounded in time to her rapid pulse. “Open the door, Erica.”

  “You wanted to be alone, so go be alone. I’m packing.”

  “Open the door or I’ll break it down,” he threatened.

  “Go screw yourself,” she shouted, adding her own fist to the door to emphasis her anger.

  “You’d better back away, because I’m getting ready to kick it open.”

  “Don’t you dare!”

  “Then open the fucking door!”

  She hurried to unlock it and whip it back, allowing him access. “There. Happy, asshole?”

  He towered over her, six feet of seething male. It shouldn’t have made her hot, but the tightening of her vaginal walls told a different story.

  “I forbid you to leave this house.”

  “What?”

  “You heard me.”

  “Are you out of your ever-loving mind? If you think you can come in here and order me about, you’d best think again. I can promise you, I’ll do the total opposite.”

  Toe to toe, nose to nose they stood, unblinking. Each panting as if they’d run a marathon.

  Zack was the first to break rank. He raked a hand through his hair and scrubbed his scalp, hard.

  “Please… please don’t leave,” he said, moderating his tone. “I don’t want you to go.”

  “No, you don’t get to be ugly to me and then pull an about-face like that,” she said and poked a finger into his chest.

  He captured her hand in his and placed it over his pounding heart. “I’m sorry. You have to know, I didn’t mean any of it.”

  Now the damn tears started. Vulnerable and hurting, she jerked her hand back as if burned, and whirled to stalk out before she embarrassed herself for the millionth time since this dreadful New Year started.

  “Babe.”

  He sounded tortured. That, more than anything, had her pausing to re-evaluate her decision to leave. She could swallow her pride, or she could hold tight to it and discard what they’ve built to date. The
loneliness of her career choice and self-imposed isolation loomed large.

  Unable to force her feet forward, she remained motionless. Zack took advantage of her hesitation. His arms came around her from behind, crossing over the front of her breasts and pulling her to rest against his large frame.

  “I don’t know how to make you believe me. Believe I want you to stay. You’re the best thing that’s happened to me in a very long time.” He sighed, his chest expanding into her back. “I’m frustrated with Bucky and the rest of the PD. This is taking too long. That crazy bitch is out there and could decide to strike at any time.”

  Emotion kept her throat closed off from communicating.

  “I lashed out at the one person who didn’t deserve it. You.”

  “Do you really think I’m ungrateful?” she managed past the lump in her throat.

  “God no! Far from it. You’ve been thanking me non-stop since the night your house burned down. And you’ve been an angel to my kid. He loves you as much as, if not more than, I do.”

  “Then why? What made you say that?”

  She wiggled until they were face to face. His eyes would tell the truth, and she needed to look into them to be sure.

  “Honestly? Because you said you were leaving. It hurt to think you would walk out due to me being a surly jerk. My first instinct was to lash out, hurt you in return. It’s a dick move.”

  “I still think I should go.”

  He dropped his arms and closed his eyes. A nerve ticked in the side of his jaw. A long swallow told her he was struggling to control his emotions.

  “So I’ve ruined everything with my temper,” he said lifelessly.

  “No!” she insisted.

  His eyes flew open, hope flickered to life.

  “You ruined nothing. However, if I leave, you and Jacob can get back to normal. Maybe, down the road, the psycho from hell will have moved on, and if you’re willing, we can see where this goes.”

  “Why leave at all?”

  “I can’t feel as if I’m derailing your life anymore, Zack. It’s killing me,” Erica replied achingly.

  He stepped forward and clasped her face between his palms. Judging to see if she was receptive, he dipped his head to kiss her. Then he pulled back and put his eyes level with hers, mere inches away.