by Tia Siren
“Is there anything else we can answer for you?” I asked the woman who was watching us closely.
“No. I have what I need for now. I’m not sure if it will be me or my colleague doing the supervising tomorrow. I will receive a full report, which will be included in your file for the judge to review,” she said through pursed lips.
“Sounds good. I look forward to proving we are the right fit for Iris. Thank you for coming,” I said, walking around her to open the front door.
I couldn’t wait until the woman was gone. I wanted to kick back and relax. I played a cool game, but inside, I was ready to let down my guard.
The moment the woman walked out the door, Avery and I released a long sigh. I opened my mouth to talk, but Avery shushed me.
“Not yet,” she hissed. “She may come back or be standing out there listening.”
I rolled my eyes. “I don’t—”
The doorbell rang, causing Avery to jump back.
“Holy shit,” I whispered.
I opened the door to find Janice standing there again. “Did you forget something?” I asked in a pleasant voice.
“Yes, actually, I did. I left my briefcase in the kitchen.”
“I’ll grab it,” Avery said, practically running out of the foyer.
I looked at Janice and smiled, silently praying Avery found it in a hurry.
Avery returned, slightly out of breath, and handed the briefcase to Janice. “Here you go.”
“Thank you. Good night.”
She left once again, and this time I kept my mouth closed until we heard her car pull out of the driveway.
“She’s gone.” Avery breathed out through her mouth like a balloon deflating.
“I need a drink,” I blurted out and headed for the open bottle of wine.
I grabbed it and found Avery in the living room. She was sitting on the couch, her heels off and her legs stretched out on the coffee table.
“You look comfortable,” I said, flopping down on the couch beside her. I chugged the wine straight out of the bottle. “Here.” I handed her the bottle.
She looked at me strangely at first and then took a swig. “I can’t believe we’re drinking wine from a bottle.”
I laughed. “That isn’t the cheap stuff either.”
We both burst into laughter, taking turns drinking from the bottle.
“How do you think it went?” she asked.
I shrugged. “I think pretty well. You were great.”
“I don’t know. At dinner I couldn’t bring myself to talk. I felt like a complete idiot. I’m glad you picked up the slack. Thank you,” she said in a soft voice.
“She seemed far more relaxed than usual. I think she even liked the dinner.”
Avery burst into laughter. “It was the only time she wasn’t frowning.”
I could feel Avery relaxing. I knew it was a combination of the wine and the relief at having the first visit over. I felt the same relief. Avery wasn’t so bad when she wasn’t wound so tight. I could grow to like the woman sitting next to me.
“We’re going to get through this. We’re a good team,” I told her.
She leaned her head back against the couch and stared up at the vaulted ceiling. “I hope so. I always feel like she is scrutinizing my every move. It freaks me out.”
I nodded my head. “I understand. Just keep your cool. Another performance like tonight and she’s not going to be looking like that anymore.”
She dropped her head forward. “I will. I can do this.”
“Good. Now, you ready for bed or you want to watch some TV?”
“How much wine is left?”
I held up the bottle and shook it. “A bit more. Want to finish it?”
“Hell yes.” She grinned. “You’re going to spoil me with the fancy stuff.”
“Good. I want to spoil you,” I told her, meaning every word.
We relaxed for another hour before calling it a night. I took her hand as we climbed the stairs together. She didn’t resist or tell me to leave her alone. It was a small step in the right direction. I wouldn’t push it. Not yet; not tonight.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Avery
Surprisingly, I was enjoying living with Jake. It wasn’t something I had expected to like, but we had fallen into a comfortable routine that was easy. I had taken to making breakfast in the mornings and coming home to a hot dinner every night. Jake was working from the house most days and claimed to love using those culinary skills he had paid so dearly for.
I felt like a complete freeloader and had decided I could make toast and eggs while he checked in with Drew in the mornings. It was the least I could do for the man after all he had been doing for me. Even the sleeping situation was now easier. He hadn’t tried to make a move since that first night. I was thankful and bummed at the same time.
“You headed out?” Jake said, coming into the kitchen wearing only a pair of shorts and carrying his laptop.
“I am. Your breakfast is in the oven,” I told him, filling my to-go mug with coffee.
“Thank you.”
I looked at him and smiled. “This is like a mini vacation for you, isn’t it?”
He smirked. “Yes. I’m actually enjoying myself. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so chill. I’m still making money and have half the stress. It is seriously making me think about retirement or at the very least taking a step back from my company.”
“Wow. Must be nice to be thinking about retirement at thirty,” I said with a smile.
“Truthfully, I don’t think I need more money. I mean, I have plenty, and as long as I don’t buy ten mansions and go on any wild shopping sprees, I can live very comfortably for the rest of my life and still leave Iris a nice inheritance.”
“Good. I’m happy for you. I can see how hard you work.”
“I will call you when the social worker gets here,” he said.
I nodded. “Thank you. I miss Iris so much. I can’t wait to see her in person and give her lots of kisses.”
“I know, and hopefully it will be soon.”
“Okay. I’ll keep my phone close so you can FaceTime me.”
“It’s going to be fine,” he said.
“What?”
“I can see the stress written all over your face. You have to relax,” he said, frustration evident in his voice.
“I’m not stressed. I mean I am, but not as much as I was,” I defended.
He snorted. “We have another visit to get through. It’s probably going to be unannounced. Just be yourself and relax.”
I took a deep breath and nodded. “I won’t freeze up. I promise. I’m not quite as worried as I was in the beginning, but I can’t help but think I am going to say or do something wrong.”
“No, you won’t. Just be you. You’re not a crazy woman or a criminal. All you have to do is let them see who you really are,” he said, looking into my eyes.
I nodded. “I will.”
“Good.” He walked to the oven and pulled out his breakfast plate. “Oh, bacon this morning,” he said with a huge grin.
I laughed. “Not too much. Can’t have you losing that fine physique,” I said with a wink, and I suddenly felt like an idiot for openly flirting. I had lectured him long and hard about the flirting and here I was teasing him.
He grinned. “I’ll work out extra hard today, just for you.”
“Okay. I’ll see you tonight,” I said, turning to leave.
He reached out and grabbed my elbow before planting a kiss on my cheek. “Bye. Have a good day at work.”
I walked out the door, not letting myself think too hard about the sweet kiss. I knew the kiss was probably his now-familiar distraction technique. I couldn’t help but worry about the next visit. I felt like everything I said and did was being scrutinized to the point where they could find something wrong that would make me unworthy of being Iris’s guardian.
At work, the minutes ticked by. I kept checking my phone, making sure it was on. Th
e morning felt like it was dragging. It didn’t help that I was checking the clock every five minutes.
When my phone started ringing, I practically jumped out of my chair.
“Hello?” I answered, waiting to see Jake’s face.
“Hello,” he said in a sing-song voice. “Someone wants to say hi.”
He turned the phone down toward his lap and I had to fight back tears of joy at seeing her precious face.
“Iris,” I cooed. “Oh, sweet baby, I miss you.”
“She is beautiful,” Jake said. “She looks so much like her mother. I’ve heard people say that about babies and parents but never really noticed it. Iris is a mini-Tracy.”
“Yes, she is,” I agreed. “How’s she doing with the foster family? Is she sleeping okay?”
Jake’s face filled the screen again. “They said she’s been very good, sleeping well, and is a healthy baby.”
“Good,” I choked out, desperate to hold her. “I can’t wait to see her.”
I watched as Jake carefully scooted Iris up. He was smiling at her with such tenderness, it made my heart full. It was a side of him I hadn’t seen before. My earlier fears about Jake not being an adequate father figure in Iris’s life were fading quickly after witnessing the interaction between them.
“I better let you go,” I said. “Thank you for calling me. I miss her so much.”
“I know. This is the first step. Things are going very well. Just a few more weeks,” he said in a quiet voice.
“Give her a kiss for me,” I whispered.
He smiled. “I’ll give her lots of kisses.”
I knew the social worker was in the room. I couldn’t wait until it was just the three of us and we could all relax and settle into a routine. I still had no idea what Jake was planning to do, but I had to trust he would do what was best for Iris. We would figure out an arrangement that let us both see Iris and be a part of her life without people watching and judging our every word and move.
With the phone call out of the way, I was able to focus on my work. I was finding my own place at my new job and enjoying myself. It was not much after five when I finished up. As I drove home, I wondered what new delicious dish Jake would be cooking up. I was going to gain twenty pounds living with him. His cooking skills made it feel like I was dining out at a five-star restaurant every night.
I immediately noticed his new SUV wasn’t in the driveway when I pulled up. That was different. I walked in the house and listened for sounds of activity.
“Jake?” I called out, walking into the kitchen. “Hello?”
It was empty. There was no sign of him cooking dinner or even preparing to cook dinner.
I sighed and headed upstairs. He probably had a business trip. We were in a weird limbo kind of relationship. We didn’t check in with one another, but he usually did tell me if he was leaving town. When I walked into our shared room, there was a note on the bed.
I picked it up and read it. Jake wouldn’t be back until tomorrow. Janice had given Jake warning that we were scheduled for another visit tomorrow evening. I had a feeling the woman gave him advanced notice so he could prepare another fabulous meal for her.
“I see right through you, Janice,” I murmured into the empty room. “You’re not quite so stern, are you?”
I was on my own for the night, which was a bit strange after living with the man for almost two weeks. Before Jake, there had always been Sally. It was odd and exciting to be truly alone. I knew exactly what I was going to do. I stripped naked, grabbed one of the large bath towels from the bathroom, and wrapped it around myself before heading back downstairs.
I grabbed one of the bottles of wine from the rack and a glass and headed outside to the hot tub. It was childproof and behind a fence to keep curious kids out. I dropped my towel and climbed in for a nice long soak.
I poured a glass of wine and let the churning water wash away all my worries. I could get used to living in the lap of luxury.
As my mind and body relaxed, I couldn’t help but think about Jake. The man had wormed his way into my life, and now I couldn’t seem to stop thinking about him. When I was at work, I wondered what he was doing at home. When I was at home, I loved to watch him, always wondering what he was thinking about.
“Shake it off, Avery. He’s no good,” I verbally reminded myself.
I couldn’t seem to take my own advice. I closed my eyes and let myself think about our one night together. I remembered how nervous and anxious I had been. He was an older man. I was a young kid fresh out of high school. I had been waiting to lose my virginity, hoping to give my V-card to a man who would treat me right and love me forever.
I had made a huge mistake in thinking that man would be Jake. In a way, I had known he was not the one, but I hadn’t cared. He’d been so hot, and I’d had a serious crush on him. That night, when he seemed to finally notice me, I had been elated. There was no stopping things once they got started. He had given me plenty of chances to change my mind, but I hadn’t wanted to stop.
I had known it was probably wrong to sleep with a twenty-three-year-old. I had been only eighteen, but that hadn’t seemed to bother him. I remembered drooling over him for years, and when I got my chance to taste everything the man had to offer, I took it.
Tracy had been pissed when she found out what had happened at the party. She didn’t talk to me for a week. She said girls were always trying to be her friend so they could get close to Jake. She was hurt and disappointed in me, but I managed to make her forgive me. I had to swear I would never touch him again.
“Now look at you. You’re being a shitty friend,” I said aloud as I poured another glass of wine. “Leave him alone.”
I groaned, thinking about my promise to Tracy, which directly contradicted my other promise to her to take care of her daughter should something ever happen to her. I was trying to do both. I truly was. At least that was what I was telling myself. Deep down, all I could think about was letting the man do all those things he had talked about that first night in bed together.
I wanted to feel him between my legs. I wanted him pushing deep inside me while I ran my hands over his perfect, hard chest before running down his arms and feeling the power in his biceps. It made me crazy to admit how badly I wanted him. I had slept with a handful of men after Jake, but none ever compared to him. I was convinced it was that first-time thing. I couldn’t get him out of my head because he had been my first.
I smiled, feeling the effects of the wine washing over me. Since I had already slept with him once before and I was technically married to him, couldn’t I fuck him one more time? There had to be some kind of free-pass rule. Just one more time. That was all I needed.
Who was I fooling? One time would never be enough. Jake was like the worst narcotic. I knew one time would leave me addicted and craving more. It had taken me years to block him out of my mind after the first time. I could not put myself through that again. No way. This was only a marriage on paper so I could get Iris. Jake was not an option.
I stood and slowly climbed out of the hot tub, water sluicing over my naked body as I reached for the towel. I felt hot and cold at the same time, and it had nothing to do with the water. It was Jake. It was always Jake.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Jake
I was getting way too comfortable in the house and with our routine. Every morning I woke up thinking about two things: Avery and what I was going to make for dinner. My focus and purpose in life had entirely changed. Before Tracy died, the first thought in my head was how I was going to make more money. What could I do to get richer?
My priorities had changed. Work was no longer exciting and enjoyable for me. I wanted more. I wanted the other part of life that had nothing to do with one of the biggest bank accounts in the country. I was learning there were things money couldn’t buy, and I didn’t like that.
I nearly chopped off a finger thinking about last night. I had originally planned to stay in California at my condo
. Then, on a sudden whim, I’d had the jet fueled and flown back. I hadn’t wanted to be away from Avery even though we had nothing going on between us. There was something that made me want to be near her.
When I had returned home, I couldn’t find her downstairs. When I checked our bedroom, it was empty. Then I looked out the window that overlooked the back patio and there she had been in all her naked splendor. It had taken every ounce of self-control I had not to race downstairs and fuck her on that lawn chair like I had wanted to do the other day. I smirked, thinking of the woman’s penchant for nudity outdoors. She tended to be so uptight all the time. It was hard to imagine her being so free-spirited when she thought no one was looking.
When she had discovered I was home, there had been a moment of awkwardness. I had pretended not to know what she had been doing out there. I had a feeling she didn’t believe me, but she hadn’t pressed the matter.
I had been rock-hard when I crawled into bed last night. I had kept my back to her, to keep her from accidentally rubbing against me and making matters worse. The fantasies and crazy dreams I had been having all week had left me in a perpetual state of arousal. My balls were so blue, I was in pain. My plan had been to hook up with a random woman in the Valley last night, but I couldn’t do it. It pissed me off that I had lost my old self somewhere in the middle of all this.
“Gonna lose a finger, man,” I chided myself as I brought the knife down on some carrots.
Images of that night with Avery had been dancing around in my head. I remembered how tight she had been. It had taken a great deal of self-control to hold back. She had been a virgin, and I hadn’t wanted to scare her by letting my passion loose.
A moan escaped my throat as I remembered her riding me. She had been awkward at first, but the moment she found her rhythm—good god, I had thought I would die of pleasure that night.