Shiro frowned. "My job? You mean the quest for Enlightenment, all that rot?"
"Yes. All that rot. The reason Guan Yin came to you in the first place."
"That's the official view," Shiro said. "It's not the truth."
"You couldn't be more wrong."
"You talk like you know, but you don't. Why are you here, Jin? And I know it's not because I'm here; I'm not that deluded."
"I came to pay my respects to Joyce's life."
"That's Jin Hannigan talking. Guan Yin wouldn't need to. Guan Yin wouldn't walk out on Joyce's murderer. You can't be her, Jin. You try so very hard, but you can't."
Jin didn't say anything. More people were approaching the casket and she stepped aside but, before she did so, Jin reached out and briefly touched Joyce's hard cold hand.
Gotta go, luv. Gotta do what I should have done for you. Forgive me, whoever you are now.
"Follow me, Shiro," Jin said.
"The service is about to start. You're not staying?"
"I've done what I needed to do here. Time for the next item on the agenda. That would be you."
Shiro frowned but he fell into step beside her. Jin walked out of the chapel and turned left. The first stones of Medias Municipal Cemetery came into view after they'd walked no more than fifty yards from the driveway to the funeral home. Jin came to the first gate that was open and walked in. Up on one of the low rolling hills she could see the green canopy that marked the grave waiting for Joyce's body. Not Joyce herself, of course. Jin knew she wasn't there, had known it since day one. Life went on, even when the physical body didn't. She would go on, after a fashion, no matter what happened today. She tried to keep that in mind even though she knew what stakes she was playing for. If she made too many mistakes she could deprive the world of Guan Yin. How long would the sentences in hell be then?
"Jin, where are you going?"
"Up on the hill. Are you coming?"
Shiro hesitated. "What are you up to?"
"Only one way for you to find out. Or are you too afraid to come out of the shadows?"
"I never intended to stay a shadow, Jin. That's not what I wanted and it never was. I'm looking forward to the day I can give up shadows forever."
"Then this is your lucky day."
He shook his head. "I don't know what you're planning, but I know you think you're going to trick me, Jin. That's not wise."
"Yeah, well I never claimed to be wise, no matter what people say about my divine form. I just know we can't go on. You're a mortal in love with Guan Yin, and she's never going to feel about you the way you feel about her. That's chapter and verse, Shiro, and somewhere in that besotted brain of yours you know it. Otherwise you'd never have created the golden cord for me to follow."
"You don't understand about that."
"Do you?" Jin asked, and was rewarded with a slight blush from Shiro.
"I'm human, believe it or not. I have lapses and, even after all this time, I have doubts. They pass. They always do. I refuse Enlightenment, so you'll never get rid of me that way."
Jin reached the hilltop. There were a few graves about, and a few large old oak trees. Jin stopped and turned back to look as Shiro walked up beside her. "What makes you think I want to get rid of you?"
He shook his head ruefully. "Oh, Jin... Do you take me for a total fool? Of course you do, just as she did."
"You speak as if we were different people."
"I know you're not, Jin. You are my love. And yet... Guan Yin would never walk away from someone in need, the way you walked away from Lucius Masters. You are Guan Yin, I don't dispute that. But you're human, too. Same as I am. Do you know how long I waited for you to be human again?"
Jin took a breath. "You knew Guan Yin would incorporate in mortal form? Why?"
"Because she knew it was the only way she could be with me. All I had to do was wait long enough."
"You really think that's true? That the Goddess of Mercy, in essence, put a multitude of suffering people on hold and incarnated as a limited, frail human being for the sole purpose of falling in love with you?"
Shiro reddened. "Is that really so hard to believe?"
"It didn't work the first time, remember? I do, thanks to you. You do love Guan Yin," Jin said. "I know that. I thought it might be something else at first, but I was wrong. I'm human now. I get to be wrong now and then. Yet you never seem to stop. You didn't take the hint when Guan Yin's servants came to kill you?"
"Don't mock me," Shiro said. "I was there, remember? I know now that was a mistake. You never sent them."
Jin felt the first tug. "Wrong again, but just so you know -- Guan Yin does love you. I do think she sent me here to prove that love to you."
"Oh? How?"
"Simple: you think I'm here as a human being so I can fall in love with you. That would indeed be the human thing to do. Reckless. Impulsive. But it's not the only thing that fits that description."
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about human patience, which is not limitless. I'm talking about being tired of your crap, Shiro. Lung Nu, Shan Cai, come to Guan Yin now."
In a flash of light, Lung Nu and Shan Cai appeared. There was nothing of either Ling nor Frank about them now. They were in full divine glory, with Lung Nu in her shining dragon form and Shan Cai holding a trident of light. They floated about two feet off the ground, looking down on their mistress.
"What do you wish of us, Immanent One?"
"Just this," Jin said, pointing at Shiro, "Kill him."
(())
Chapter 27
Jin could almost imagine the scene pictured in a Japanese wood block print: here was Shan Cai and Lung Nu in their full glory facing down some shadowy monster, destroying him with the power of their righteousness. There was the monster, snarling defiance, his visage horrible, his eyes fierce even though he must know he was doomed. And there was Guan Yin...
Well, there was Jin, in her black dress, pearls, and sensible shoes. That, she realized, was where the tableau broke apart, and no artist was going to render this scene if confined to the truth. Jin just hoped the illusion would hold for a little while.
Is it...?
Yes. Jin felt the touch of the golden cord. The shock and betrayal on Shiro's face was almost painful to see, but Jin did not flinch. All Shan Cai and Lung Nu had to do was distract Shiro long enough. Jin stepped forward.
One touch and your sorry ass belongs to me...
Shiro laughed as the cord snapped. Jin stopped, looking for the cord that should have connected her to Shiro, that had connected her to Shiro just moments before. There was nothing but a frayed, unraveling remnant that vanished while she looked at it.
Both Shan Cai and Lung Nu were poised to strike, but Shiro ignored them.
"Never play poker with me, Jin; you don't know how to bluff. It was a noble effort, and quite clever, I do admit -- turning love into hate is easier than most people think, and that's so much easier to deal with than love, isn't it? Is what I offer you really so terrible?"
Jin sighed. "I could ask you the same thing, Shiro. You have a chance to move beyond this fixation. Let me help you."
Shiro looked like he was about to burst into laughter once more. "Oh, Jin, did you think it was going to be that easy? That all you had to do was connect with me and send me back to one hell or another? Did you really not know?"
Shan Cai and Lung Nu had reluctantly abandoned all pretense of attacking and were looking back at her for guidance. For the moment Jin ignored them too. "Not know what?"
"How many times you've already sent me back, Jin."
"Guan Yin freed you before? But... your memories! You had a blank slate! How could this have happened again?"
He shook his head, looking disgusted. "Guan Yin, I love you. Don't you understand what that means, even after all these centuries? No matter how many times I forget, no matter how many times I drink at the Terrace of Oblivion, sooner or later I find your image in whatever hell I'm sent
to and it starts again. Then I use Emma-O's gift and I leave, and I always find you again, Guan Yin. There's no where you can go that I cannot follow, sooner or later. While Emma-O's gift makes my task easer, the simple truth is that Hell does not work on me!"
"Immanent One," Shan Cai began, but Jin held up a hand.
"Shan Cai, is he telling me the truth?"
"I really think -- " Lung Nu began, but Jin cut her off, too.
"Answer me, Shan Cai."
Shan Cai looked trapped, and finally admitted defeat. He nodded. "Yes, Immanent One. Shiro speaks truly."
"Then why do you fear my demon form, Shiro? And don't try to tell me you don't. I'm not blind."
Shiro shrugged. "Because I don't exactly enjoy being ripped apart, my love. It hurts. Plus it's one more delay. I think my patience may be infinite, but a thousand years or more is still a long time."
Now Jin understood why Guan Yin hadn't just killed Shiro. To return him to the Wheel of Death and Rebirth. She'd already tried that and it didn't work.
"Shan Cai, Lung Nu, thank you both for your service to me. I do appreciate all that you've tried to do and I apologize for not being as good at being Guan Yin as perhaps I should. You may go now," she said.
Shan Cai and Lung Nu shook off their divine forms and stood beside Jin as Frank and Ling once more. "Immanent One, what do you intend to do?" Frank asked.
"That's between me and Shiro," Jin said. "I'm sorry, but that's the way it has to be."
Frank started to protest, but Ling put her hand on his shoulder. He turned to look at her and Ling shook her head. "We must go." Ling turned to Jin and smiled a little sadly. "Goodbye, Guan Shi Yin."
Ling opened a doorway and pulled a confused-looking Frank through behind her as if she was leading a small child. Jin watched them go.
I think Ling understands, Jin thought, I just hope that I do.
Shiro was looking at her with the light of love in his eyes. "Have you finally decided to come to me, my love? Can it be?"
Shiro took a step forward but Jin took one back. Then she turned her back on him and started walking down the hill.
Shiro frowned. "Where are you going?"
Jin didn't break stride. "Does that matter? I cannot escape you, remember? You've been my shadow for over a thousand years. That's your choice and obviously I can't make you choose differently. So follow me for just a little longer, shadow."
"You're mocking me."
She shrugged. "Does that matter, if you've won?"
"If you do not love me I have won nothing!"
"When did I say I didn't love you?" Jin asked reasonably.
Shiro hurried to catch up with her quickly. "I'm not a fool, Jin. Guan Yin loves everyone; that's not what I meant and you know it! I want you to love me... and only me."
Jin nodded, sadly. "Shiro, once I wondered if I did love you. I was afraid I might. Then I shared the memory of a girl who had been in love, truly in love. Thanks to you I've also shared the memory of that other incarnation of Guan Yin, the one who married you all those years ago. She did love you, but only because it was what you needed at the time. I do not. I will not."
"You will. That's why you became human again, Jin. Not to search for a 'solution' that does not exist. With all due respect, what makes you think you can overcome my love where the divine Guan Yin failed?"
"But she did not fail, Shiro. She found the solution."
"What solution?"
"Me," Jin said quietly.
Shiro smiled with great good humor. "Oh, she hints at mysteries and things beyond mortal ken, and her nature may be divine, but right here and now she's just a mortal woman, no more or less."
Jin smiled. "Which is exactly the point. I am Guan Yin. I am also Jin Lee Hannigan, daughter to the lately departed Margaret Kathleen Hannigan. And it's Jin Hannigan who's going to settle your hash. You said I can't bluff, Shiro. You're right. Am I bluffing now?"
Shiro started to say something, but apparently reconsidered and kept silent. Jin set a brisk pace along the shoulder of the road, despite her uncomfortable shoes and sore foot. There were no really tall buildings in Medias, but it was still possible to make out the downtown area in the haze of distance. Shiro followed her in silence for some time, but after about a mile he spoke again.
"Jin, that outfit of yours isn't really made for hiking," Shiro said finally.
True enough. The dress was a little long and her shoes, if not exactly spikes, did have a three-inch heel that she wasn't really used to. "No," she said, cheerfully. "You're right about that."
"So why don't you just summon your servants to open a doorway to wherever it is you wish to go?"
"They're not my servants now. Weren't you listening?"
Shiro just stared at her for a moment as they walked, and Jin barely managed not to smile. "Jin, Shan Cai and Lung Nu may not be my favorite people, Enlightened or otherwise, but they are the servants of Guan Yin. They chose that role for themselves, and you accepted them ages ago."
Jin smiled. "Changing my mind goes with the territory. Isn't that what you're counting on?"
Shiro raised an eyebrow. "You're up to something."
"You're absolutely right," Jin said. "Keep following me and I'll show you what it is."
"If you're thinking of killing yourself so that you can return to divine form, I'd advise against it. Suicide is an error and invites karma."
"Since you want me in my addled human form, of course you would say that. You'd say anything to win me."
Shiro blushed again, but he did not back down. "It's true I love Guan Yin, but I have love great enough for a woman and the goddess within her. Your human form or your divine form, they're all the same to me."
Jin sighed. "You think so? Then you really are an idiot."
"Don't bother goading me, Jin. Are you actually going to try another of your silly traps? If that's what this is about we can stop here."
She shook her head. "No traps, no tricks, just a rather straightforward transaction. But I suspect there are legalities involved, so I'll probably need witnesses. That's where you come in."
"Witnesses? Don't tell me you're planning to marry me again?"
Jin smiled grimly. "Keep that sense of humor, Shiro. You're going to need it."
The silence was longer this time. Shiro looked intently thoughtful and Jin smiles again, though she was careful to look away from Shiro when she did so. The road stretched on and she kept up her pace. Jin finally passed the street leading to her house. Her feet hurt and she was perspiring, but she did not stop.
"Jin, tell me where you're going."
"I'm going to find Teacher... Emma-O, as you know him better. The King of Hell."
"Why?"
"Because I need witnesses for what I'm about to do. I told you that."
"Why do you need the King of the First Hell? Being a witness is not such a complicated matter, regardless of what you have in mind. Anyone would do."
"Not for this. Maybe I should ask him to send for Madame Meng, too," Jin said, thoughtfully.
After a while they passed the gate to Resolution Park, and Jin glanced inside, but saw no one. For a moment she actually considered asking Shiro to go check the men's room, but a glance from her Third Eye told her what she already suspected -- Teacher was not there. Jin sighed and kept walking. By the time she reached Pepper Street she was limping. She headed gamely toward the alley leading to the Gateway to All the Hells. Shiro, after a moment's hesitation, followed her in.
"What are the odds Teacher is at the Gateway? It'd beat walking all the way to the First Hell."
"Jin, tell me why we're here," Shiro said. "Whatever you're planning, it's a waste of time."
"If you're so sure of that, then there's no risk, is there?" Jin replied.
"I will always be where you are, go where you need to go," Shiro said. "That is destiny."
"Bullshit. Suppose I told you to stay away from me?
"But why? I will not interfere with your work, I promise."<
br />
Jin held up her wrist. "Careful, Shiro. Pain of any kind is what calls Guan Yin. Put your wounded pride on ice and answer me. I told you where we're going."
"You haven't told me why, though. Why are we going to the Gateway? What do you need witnesses for?"
"Answer my question, and I'll answer yours, Shiro. Promise."
"I... I won't stay away. I..." He didn't finish, but Jin just nodded.
"And that is the truth. You can't. You say I can never be free from you, but I think it's as much the other way around."
Shiro nodded, looking miserable. "I've never wanted to be a problem for you, Guan Shi Yin, then or now. If you don't believe anything else I've told you, please believe that."
She smiled then. "I do believe you, Shiro. Not that it changes anything. I'm Guan Yin. I have to free you from hell. That's what I do."
"But I told you -- "
"That you have the keys to all the hells? Wrong. You don't have the key to the one you're in now, the one you carry with you always. The one that looks just like me. So. I promised to tell you my plan. I'm about to do that, too."
They reached the doorway on the opposite side of the corridor and Jin walked right through with Shiro close behind. Down by the statue of Guan Yin and her servants, Teacher and Madame Meng were waiting for them. Jin wasn't really surprised. She'd called them, even though she wasn't quite sure how. One more aspect of being Guan Yin that she didn't understand, but she was grateful, and only partly because her feet hurt. She kicked off her shoes and let her bare toes sink into the sand covering the floor of the Gateway to All the Hells.
"In fact," Jin went on to Shiro, "let's go meet our old friends and I can tell you all at once."
Shiro put a hand on her shoulder. It was a firm grip, and the memories came flooding back, deeper and more intently than that first day. She steeled herself and let them come. She did not flinch this time when the vision took her through their wedding night in her previous mortal incarnation and through the years they had spent together as man and wife. She finally saw past the shadow this time, to what Shiro had been before and what he remained now -- a good man, like so many other good men down through the centuries whose only and greatest sin was that he could not let go.
All the Gates of Hell Page 26