“I came to apologize,” he says sheepishly. “So may I enter your domain, or what?”
I shrug, pretending as if it is normal for me to have a magnificent looking man in my room. “You’re already here.” I swallow hard when he steps into my room and looks around. I am self conscious, wondering what he thinks about my personal space. He walks to a picture of my dad, hanging on the wall.
“Is this your dad?” he asks softly. I just nod. He rubs the back of his neck. “Well, I did come to apologize, so, I’m sorry, Alice. I’m sorry for the words I used to describe you. You were right; I shouldn’t have judged you without getting to know you.”
“Uh, thanks.” My large room suddenly seems too small. I shuffle on my feet feeling very uncomfortable with the intent way he is staring at me.
“So let me get to know you then, Alice.”
His voice drops an octave when he says my name. I never knew that my name could sound so sexy. I have the urge to pinch myself. This must be one of my many fantasies. But I don’t remember falling asleep. “Um o-okay. What do you want to know?”
He takes several steps toward me. I reflexively take a step back. His head tilts to the side. A wolfish grin spreads across his lips. “Are you afraid of me, Alice?”
I snort, “Of course not.” I am just afraid that if he gets any closer, I might lose control and tackle him to the bed. But he doesn’t need to know that.
“You like me.”
It isn’t a question.
I cock an eyebrow. I didn’t know he was so full of himself. “What makes you think that I do?” I challenge.
His hand rises to brush gentle fingers across my cheek, causing my breath to hitch in my chest. “If you didn’t like me, you wouldn’t blush every time I look at you.”
You got me there. I want to tell him that I more than like him, but I can’t muster the courage. “I guess I like you a little,” I admit softly. That declaration should win the understatement of the year award. I give myself a mental kick in the behind. I have never felt more childish. Here standing in my room, inches away from me, is the man that I have been obsessed with for years, and all I can say is I guess I like you a little. Am I a twenty-year-old woman or a girl in junior high? I look up at him. He makes me feel like that girl still in junior high.
His lips twitch. “A little huh? I like you a lot Alice,” he whispers. “I would like very much to kiss you.”
My eyes bug out of my head. My breathing has become erratic. I can’t believe my dream is coming true. Damon likes me and he wants to kiss me. Is it a merry Christmas or what? Panic suddenly bubbles up inside of me when I realize that I haven’t the slightest clue what to do. I have never kissed a man before. “I-I don’t..." I begin to slowly back away. I can’t let him kiss me. I will completely embarrass myself with my lack of experience.
His eyebrows elevate. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know how.”
I am surprised he hears my barely audible confession.
The shock on his features has me blushing more than I ever have before. I drop my head, humiliated. If he didn’t already think I am a total loser, he must be thinking it now. I feel fingers cup my chin and lift my head up ward. He is searching my face, with surprise and wonder in his green gaze. “Wow that’s-that’s... I find that hard to believe,” he shrugs, “There’s a first time for everything.”
I watch in the paralysis of shock as his head lowers until his lips are touching mine. I stiffen. “Relax,” he whispers. His mouth moves over mine and I tentatively part my lips. I catch on quickly, following his movements. I think I might have died from hypothermia from my time on the balcony, and I am now in heaven.
I feel the back of my knees hit my mattress and I realize that Damon has maneuvered our bodies closer to my bed. This entire event is surreal to me. In a sudden movement of courage, I wound my arms around his neck. My body presses against the rock hard plains of his.
He gently eases me down, until I am lying beneath him.
My chest is heaving and I am staring raptly up at him. I gasp when I feel my dress inching up my thighs.
The angel on my shoulder is telling me that I should stop him, but the devil on the other side is telling me to shut up and see how far this will go. I ignore the angel.
My dress is lifted over my head and now I am lying in my underwear. I want to pull my sheet over to cover myself. A man has never seen me in this state before. I open my mouth to tell him that I am a virgin.
He places a finger over my lips. “I know, just close your eyes.”
I do as I am told. Of course he knows. If I confessed that I have never been kissed, it only makes sense that I am untouched in every sense of the word. My eyes are shut tight. I am waiting in anticipation to find out what he will do next. Oh my God, if I lose my virginity to Damon Ryder, I can die a happy woman.
I hear a click.
Is that a camera?
My eyes fly open and land on him holding up his cell phone with a wicked grin on his face. I bolt upward, lost in confusion. “D-Damon?” My eyes implore him to tell me what is going on.
He lets out a laugh. “I just needed proof that my charms are enough to melt the Ice Queen. Mark and the others will have to eat their words.” He snaps another picture and shoves his phone in his pocket.
My heart is pounding uncontrollably. This can’t be happening to me. “Mark?” I remember the presumptuous idiot who gave me a ride home the other night. “The others? What the hell are you talking about Damon?” I am looking around frantically for my dress.
“Just a little bet that I am going to win,” he says.
My entire world has just crumbled. I look into the eyes of the man I thought that I was in love with. All I feel now is betrayal and hatred, with a hell of a lot of hurt mixed in. “Get out!” Tears pool in my eyes. I give up trying to locate my dress and pull the duvet from the bed over my half naked body. He is standing there just staring at me.
For a minute I think I see regret flash in his eyes. But I am much too livid to take in the meaning of my quick analysis.
“Alice, I—"
“I said get out!” He turns and strides out of the room. I hope my mom and Jared haven’t heard me yelling.
My room door closes and I throw myself down on the bed and sob uncontrollably. I have been thoroughly humiliated.
It was foolish of me to think that Damon would be interested in someone like me. I will never be able to live this down.
I now hate Damon Ryder with an all consuming passion.
Chapter Four
My mouth is hanging wide open. I quickly snap it shut, remembering that I am sitting in a fancy restaurant among sophisticated people. I can’t believe what I have just heard. I am staring at my mom and Jared as if they have both just grown extra heads. I lift up my glass of wine and drink deeply. I’m not usually one to over indulge in alcohol, but at the moment, I really need it. I close my eyes briefly and let the wine flow down my throat.
“What do you mean you’re getting married?” I ask, trying not to sound too outraged. So this is why they bought me here. Mom probably figured I would be less likely to lose my head in a public place.
“It’s like I just said, sweetie. Jared and I are getting married.”
My eyes narrow to slits. I am very irritated by the sweet smile she is giving me.
“We are hoping to make it happen as soon as possible,” Jared pipes up.
My eyes fly to him. “I think the whole marriage thing is great, really I do. But, don’t you think it’s a little bit too soon?” My eyes implore them both. “I mean seven months into a relationship hardly warrants marriage.”
My mom cocks an eyebrow and reprimands me with her eyes. I know what she is silently saying—that I have no say in the decisions she makes about her love life. “Honey I am a woman of a particular age. When a woman reaches my age, she has experienced it all and knows exactly what she wants.”
I remain silent and take another sip of wine. At
the rate I am going I will have to be carried out of the restaurant. I turn her words over in my mind. I suppose she is right. I have never known her to make any decisions without thinking things through properly. I know because I am a lot like her in that way. I now feel horrible for discouraging their decision to get married. I glance up to them gazing into each other’s eyes lovingly. They make such a cute picture, that I think it might make me sick. I sigh inwardly. Who am I to stand in the way of love? “Well, it is clear that you are both head over heels in love with each other. So, why not tie the knot?” I raise my glass, “I’m on board, here’s to love.”
I offer a smile when my mother beams at me. She mouths ‘thank you’ and I nod. My gaze swings over to Jared. “Jared, thank you for making my mom happy and I am delighted that you will soon be a part of our family.”
He grins broadly. “Thank you Alice. You are an amazing daughter.” The happy couple soon breaks out into excited chatter and I turn back to my thoughts. I am not as happy and accepting of the situation as I pretend to be. But, I figure that my mother deserves happiness. It has been years since she lost her husband and I can imagine that she gets lonely. Plus, Jared seems like a decent man.
The thought of Jared leads to unwanted thoughts of his son. Bile rises up in my throat and soon I taste the bitterness in my mouth. Damon. The name invokes resentment in my heart. I freeze. If his father is getting married to my mom, it means that I will be seeing him very soon. Damn it. After what he did to me, I was hoping that I would never lay eyes on him again.
“Have you decided on a date for the wedding?” I ask casually.
My mom’s face splits into a broad grin. “We have decided on a May wedding.”
What? “Wow, that’s only two months from now.”
She shrugs, “Well we figured there’s no need for a long engagement.”
“Great,” I say weakly. I do not like this at all, but I decide to keep my mouth shut. I don’t want to be the one to wipe that lovely smile off of my mother’s face. I peek up at Jared through my lashes, hoping that my eyes doesn’t reveal too much. “So Jared, does Damon know you are getting married?”
He nods. “He does. I actually discussed it with him about a week ago.”
“I see. I assume he will be present at the wedding then.”
“Unfortunately, two months isn’t enough notice and since he just started his job, he can’t afford to take any vacation time just yet.”
I nearly let out a loud relieved sigh, but manage to stifle it. “Well isn’t that too bad,” I drawl. Thank goodness. Now I am sure that I can attend the wedding. If Damon was going to be there, I would have found some excuse not to attend. I am immensely relieved that I will not have to hurt or disappoint my mother because of that wretched man. Memories of that night three months ago threaten to overwhelm me. I quickly shove them down, or I will begin to sob in front of Jared and my mom.
It irritates me how much the memory of what Damon did to me still hurts. Maybe any other girl would have gotten over his stupid prank by now, but not me. Mostly because I was in love with him for years, so his actions cut me deeper than he or I could have imagined. At least I won’t have to see him at the wedding. Content with that knowledge I lift my glass once more to take another long swig of wine in silent celebration.
***
I am leaving work after a long but enjoyable day, when my cell phone begins to vibrate in my handbag. I stop to fish around the many compartments until my fingers wrap around it.
“Hey, mom.” I smile widely. I’m always happy to hear from her. I miss her so much.
After I moved out almost three years ago, things haven’t been the same. When she and Jared got married, she decided to move into his house. Of course the offer was made for me to move in with them, but I felt out of place. It was finally time for me to leave the proverbial nest, so I moved onto the university’s campus. It took me a little while to adjust but things had worked out pretty well.
“Hi, honey. How are you? How’s the new job going?”
“Everything is fine, mom. The job is great.”
I’m on the right path to pursuing my ultimate goal. Landing a job as an analytical chemist for one of Wisconsin’s largest pharmaceutical companies so soon after leaving school was sheer luck on my part.
“How is Richard?” she asks.
I blush slightly at her tone. Her voice drops to a conspiratorial note when she mentions his name. I roll my eyes. “He’s great.” I silently pray that she doesn’t ask me if we have set a date yet. We have only been engaged for five months. But my mother is anxious to throw herself into planning another wedding. I am relieved when she doesn’t delve into questions about my impending nuptials.
“That’s good, honey. I’m glad everything is okay. You sound great. The reason I am calling is to invite you to England.”
I gasp happily. “Are you going to grandma and grandpa’s?”
“Yes, to spend the Christmas holidays.”
She doesn’t have to say anything further because I am already on board. I haven’t seen my grandparents in ages. I have only been at my job for a few months, but I am sure I can get at least a week off. There is no way I am missing this trip to England. I shriek excitedly, “That sounds great. Count me in.”
I hear her let out a sigh, “I’m so glad you can make it. I can’t wait to be with the entire family. I’m a bit nervous though. Since mom and dad couldn’t make it to the wedding, this will be their first time meeting Jared and Damon.”
The smile immediately drops from my face and I stop walking abruptly. “Jared and his son are going too?” It really doesn’t bother me that Jared will be going along. I mean I wouldn’t go away to England for the holiday and leave my husband behind. But Damon? “Why the hell is Damon going?”
“Well, honey, he is a part of the family now and this is a family trip.”
“I know… but...” I have no idea what to say without coming off mean.
She is right, he is family and it wouldn’t be fair to leave him out of the family holiday. My heart drops because I know that there is no way I can go to England for Christmas. “Um you know what mom—I just remembered that Richard and I have plans for the holidays. I’m supposed to go with him to his family’s home.”
That, of course, is a complete lie. I close my eyes tightly, so ashamed of myself for spouting such an obvious untruth to my own mother. But the thought of facing Damon is wreaking havoc in my mind.
“Honey, you just excitedly agreed to the trip and all of a sudden you remember that you have plans. I smell a rat, Alice. Are you lying to me?”
Damn it. She is good. I have rarely had success lying to her in the past, why did I think I could get away with it now? I should have used work as an excuse that would have been more believable. I sigh in defeat, “I’m sorry mom. It’s just that things won’t be the same with… others present.”
“For goodness' sake, this is about Damon isn’t it?”
My eyes widen. How much does she know? “What? Why do you think it has anything to do with him?” I realized that my voice is dripping with contempt. There is no way mom could have missed that.
“Oh, please, Alice. I’m not blind or dumb. You two have avoided each other since Christmas dinner three years ago. Every family get together we have had, the two of you have managed to stay away when the other was present. Why don’t you two like each other? You are brother and sister now for goodness sake.”
“No, we are stepbrother and stepsister, mom. That really doesn’t mean much to me.”
I hear a loud gasp, “Alice Peterson, I did not raise you to be so hateful. Family is family, young lady. It doesn’t matter in what way.”
I roll my eyes, “I really don’t want to spend my Christmas holiday with that jerk, mom,” I hiss. “You know, even if I didn’t have plans.”
She gasps again, “Damon is a very nice, decent young man. I have seen nothing in his behavior that indicates he is anything but. I wish the both of you wo
uld just try to get along.”
Nice and decent? Those words should not be used in the same sentence with Damon Ryder’s name. The man is anything but. I seethe. If only she knew what he did to me, she would probably never want to set eyes on him again as well. Of course, I can never share with her what took place in my bedroom three years ago. I can never share it with anyone. I have kept my hurt and embarrassment to myself for years. Only he and I know what happen—well the two of us and whoever else he sent those damn pictures to. My body flushes red at the thought of his friends seeing photos of me half-naked. I stifle a groan. It seems Damon’s prank will haunt me forever.
“I’m sorry, mom. Please tell Grams and Gramps how sorry I am for not being able to make it.”
I wince when I hear her growl in frustration. “Well, I can’t force you to go. I’ll speak to you later, honey.”
“Bye, mom.” I shove my phone back into my handbag and stomp toward my car.
Damn Damon, this is all his fault. Because of him I will miss out on a spectacular week at my grandparents’ magnificent estate.
I slide into my car and slam the door.
I am standing in my kitchen, whipping up spaghetti and meatballs when my mother calls again.
“Yes, mom?” I answer already annoyed.
I am positive she is calling to try and convince me to change my mind about going to England.
“Hi sweetheart, I have some news. It turns out Damon won’t be able to make it to England after all. Something came up with work."
“That’s great- I-I mean how about that…” I am elated. It looks like I will be going to England after all.
“Mhmm. So is it safe to assume that you will be joining Jared and I?”
“Uh, well I will have to explain to Richard the importance of spending time with my own family for Christmas, but I’m sure he will understand. So, yeah, count me in.” I am grinning from ear to ear.
I hear laughter on the other end of the line. I know I am being laughed at for my poor ability to lie. “Why don’t you bring Richard along, honey?”
TASTE: A Stepbrother Romance Page 3