He was just as insistent, cupping his hands around her backside and doing the most wonderful things in her mouth with his tongue. He pinned her against the truck and lowered his lips down her neck, sending her hands frantically grasping at his shirt.
“It’s eight o’clock,” he murmured against her skin. “We have to go.”
“Right. Yes.” She kissed his mouth, devouring him.
He pulled back. “You wanted to be home by now.”
She tried to catch her breath. “I did?”
Smiling, he pulled her into a hug. “You did. You wanted to be home for Gracie.”
“You’re sure it’s already eight?” she asked, smoothing her hands down his muscular shoulders.
He nodded with a sad frown.
“I guess we should go, then.” She took his hands in hers, holding them tightly. “Thank you. For making the time pass so quickly. For getting my mind off everything else.” It had made it so much easier. If she’d been at home, she would’ve sat there counting the minutes until Mark brought Gracie back.
“I’m happy to be your distraction.” He opened the passenger’s door for her and then hurried back to the riverbank, picking up all the gear they’d left behind.
She buckled herself in, unable to stop smiling. It’d been so long since she’d felt like this, so carefree, so full of hope. Although it seemed things hadn’t exactly changed much since high school. “Funny, we still have a curfew,” she commented when Lucas got into the truck.
Laughing, he started the engine and sped back down the dirt road. “And that we have to sneak around.”
“Yeah. Sorry about that.” But she’d never had a man spend the night. She’d never even kissed anyone in front of Gracie.
“It’s okay.” He caressed her thigh. “It makes it exciting.”
“And frustrating.” Because if she was truly free, she’d invite him to spend the night with her.
“It builds anticipation,” Lucas said, eyeing her like he was picturing her naked.
That it did. He drove over the speed limit, and she loved him for trying to make sure she made it home on time for her daughter.
When they came up the drive, Mark’s car already sat in front of her house. He and Gracie were sitting on the porch.
“Uh-oh.” Had something gone wrong? “Why would he have her back early?” The selfish person inside of her hoped Gracie hadn’t had a good time, that she wouldn’t want to go anywhere with him again.
“They look happy,” Lucas said cautiously. “Maybe she’s just tired.”
“Right. Of course.” That had to be it. They did seem happy, heads tilted together while they chatted and smiled.
Lucas parked on the road in front of the house and left the engine running.
“You’re not coming in?” The question surprised her as much as it seemed to surprise him. But she didn’t want him to go home. She wanted him to stay. To see Gracie. To sit with her awhile.
Relief seemed to well up in his eyes. “I’d love to come in.” They both got out of the truck and walked across the lawn together.
“Mom!” Gracie came sprinting over. “Where were you guys?” she demanded, as though she’d been worried.
The panic on her daughter’s face flustered her.
“Sorry,” Lucas said before she could think up a response. “It was my fault. I took your mom fly fishing.”
“Fishing?” Gracie repeated, horrified. “Did you touch a fish?”
Naomi laughed. “Nope. We didn’t catch anything.” They hadn’t exactly had time to, what with all the touching and making out…
“Not even a bite,” Lucas said, exaggerating a distraught expression that made her heart melt and her daughter giggle.
Mark walked over and joined them. “Sorry I brought her back so early. I wanted to make sure we weren’t late. And I thought you might be missing her.”
“Don’t apologize.” Naomi squeezed her daughter into a hug. “I didn’t think we’d be gone so long. And I was definitely missing her.” Though it hadn’t been as painful as she’d thought it would be, thanks to Lucas.
“Next time I’ll call.” Mark gave Lucas some bro-code look.
Lucas smiled in that laid-back way of his, but Naomi’s cheeks flamed.
“Guess what, Mom?” Gracie tugged on her hand. “Dad has a swimming pool at his house.”
“Oh. Wow.” She raised her eyes to Mark’s. Why would he have told her that? Had he been trying to entice Gracie to visit him in Denver?
“Gracie asked a lot questions about my life,” he explained quickly, as though he’d picked up on her uneasiness.
“I want to go there, Mom! I want go to Dad’s house and I want to meet my brother and I want to swim in the pool!” She gazed at Mark with a grin. “Dad said I could! He said I could visit whenever I want!”
All of the warmth and delicate feelings of contentment spilled out of her, leaving a cold, empty blackness.
“Can I go? Pleeeeaaaasssse?” her daughter begged.
“No.” Naomi gaped at Mark. “God. You can’t go to Denver…”
“I’m sorry,” Mark said quietly. “I was just trying to answer her questions.”
“You told me it was up to me.” Gracie posted her hands on her hips in outrage. “You said I could choose if I wanted to see him. And I do! I want to see the swimming pool!”
“Gracie…” Naomi struggled to find her voice. “Honey, we’ll talk about this later.”
“But—”
“Hey, Gracie…” Giving Naomi’s hand a quick squeeze, Lucas knelt in front of her daughter. “Do you wanna see all of my fishing stuff?”
The girl shrugged as though she was still put out. “Okay. But I don’t want to touch a fish. I never want to touch a fish.”
“Lucky for you we didn’t catch one,” Lucas reminded her while the two of them walked away.
As soon as they were out of earshot, Naomi turned to face Mark. “How could you do this?”
“What was I supposed to do?” he shot back. “Not answer any of her questions? Not tell her anything about myself?” His eyes softened. “She’s my daughter, Naomi. She wants to know who I am.”
“Well, you could’ve left out the swimming pool.” Gracie loved to swim. This was exactly what she’d been worried about. That Mark would show up and become Disneyland Dad—the fun one who made sure he got the perks of parenting with none of the responsibilities. He’d charm his daughter and buy her things and then someday when she was a teenager and angry with her mother for grounding her when she broke curfew, Gracie would choose him. She’d want to go live with her dad.
Mark stepped closer, an arm outstretched as though he wanted to calm her. “I know how hard this is for you.”
“No. You don’t.” The tears burning in her eyes only made her angrier. “She’s all I’ve had for ten years.” And Naomi wasn’t about to give her up that easily. “You said this would be on my terms. Going to Denver was never part of the deal.”
“You’re right.” He sighed. “I’m sorry. I should’ve been more discerning in what I said to her.”
“Yes, you should’ve.” She breathed deeply, trying to regain control over her emotions, but that damn ache in her heart…
“I’ll talk to her. Tell her the timing’s not right yet,” Mark promised. “But I’d like to come back next weekend, if that’s okay with you.” Fear weighted his words as though he worried she wouldn’t give him another chance.
But she had to. Gracie had obviously had a good time with him. He’d taken care of her, had her back early. And he was right. He had to tell her things about his life in order for his daughter to get to know him. He was her father, whether Naomi liked it or not. The mass of anger that had tightened her stomach broke apart. “Of course you can come up. You can spend as much time as you want with her here.” So she’d be close by if Gracie needed anything. So they could both continue to learn more about him.
“Thank you.” Mark reached over to squeeze her hand. The warm
th of the gesture wiped out the rest of her animosity toward him. He’d obviously changed as much as she had over the years.
“Maybe I could take her on a hike up to the falls Saturday,” he suggested. “I always loved doing that as a kid, and I haven’t been up there in years.”
Gracie loved it, too. They made it up there about once a month in the summer. It was an easy four miles round trip.
“I could bring a picnic lunch. I’d have her back in the afternoon.” His gaze was still unsure as he looked at Naomi. “You can come, too, if you’d like.”
“That’s okay. I don’t want her to get the wrong idea about you and me.” Especially with him being married and everything.
“I get it.” Mark glanced at Gracie, who was practicing a cast with Lucas’s fishing pole. His smile spoke for him. He may have missed out on years of her childhood, but he was already crazy about her.
Naomi smiled, too. Who wouldn’t be?
Mark turned to her. “You think she’d want to go on a hike? With me?”
“I bet she would.” She started making a mental list of potential spies she could send this time. Cassidy? She loved to mountain bike. Maybe she could send her up the trail…
“Great. That’s great.” Mark looked over at their daughter again, joy beaming from his face.
Guilt fell on her shoulders. She was being ridiculous. Since he’d come back into their lives, Mark had done everything right. And like Colton had said, she had to learn to give up some control. Gracie wasn’t five anymore. “It’s a plan, then,” she said, beating down the pain with another smile.
“Thank you.” The words were feeble, as if he knew they weren’t enough. “I know this isn’t easy.”
“It’s not easy for any of us,” she acknowledged. He didn’t have a guidebook for this, either, for how to reunite with his daughter after ten years. “But we’ll figure it out as we go. Gracie’s well-being always has to be the priority.” She said it to remind herself, too. If only she could shut off her own emotions.
Mark nodded. “I’d like to make it as easy on her as possible. And on you, too,” he added.
She didn’t bother telling him it would never be easy. It would likely hurt every time she sent Gracie off with him. But she’d do it, and she’d never let her daughter see how hard it was.
Wrapped in an easy silence, the two of them walked over to where Gracie was fussing over Lucas’s fishing gear.
“I have to get going,” Mark told their daughter. “Denver won’t work out quite yet, but I’d like to come and see you next weekend. Maybe we could hike up to the falls?”
“I love the falls!” She hugged him as if she’d known him her whole life. “Thanks for the ice cream. And the concert. You’re really nice and I’m glad you came.”
Naomi thought she saw tears in Mark’s eyes. “So are you,” he said, hugging her back. “I’ll see you next week, then.” He shook hands with Lucas before getting in his car to leave.
After his car disappeared down the drive, Gracie attached herself to the fine cowboy standing next to Naomi. “Do you wanna watch The Little Mermaid? Can we, Mom?”
“I’d love to.” Lucas glanced at Naomi as though waiting for confirmation.
Like she’d say no to spending more time with him. After that little scene, she could use his steadying presence. “Of course we can.”
“Sweet!” Her daughter took both of their hands and led the way back to the house.
When they were all comfortable on the couch, with Bogart snuggled between Gracie and Lucas, her daughter turned to him. “Do you like my mom?”
If the question caught him off guard, he didn’t let on. “I’ve always liked your mom,” he said, as though it was a simple fact.
Naomi subtly brushed her hand across his thigh. She liked him, too. A whole lot.
Skepticism scrunched Gracie’s face. She got the same look whenever Naomi tried to convince her vegetables were delicious. “How come you were gone for such a long time, then?”
He glanced at Naomi. A warning flared inside of her. He was asking a silent question. Should he tell Gracie where he’d been? She shook her head.
Lucas turned back to Gracie. “I had to go away for a while.”
“Where did you go?” she demanded.
“Away,” Naomi said, before he could answer. “He just had to go away. But now he’s back. And he’s not going away again.”
Lucas studied her, but said nothing. She reached for his hand and took it in hers as the movie started. She’d explain it to him later. He didn’t understand. Kids could be so black and white. And she didn’t want Gracie to think anything terrible about him before she could explain things, before she could make her understand that he was a safe, wonderful man.
The movie started with a chorus of dramatic music. Gracie gave her usual running commentary, but after twenty minutes, she seemed to run out of steam. She fell asleep with her head on Lucas’s shoulder.
Naomi shut off the movie.
Carefully, Lucas shifted and pulled Gracie into his arms. She stirred, looked up at him, and gave a sleepy smile before drifting off again. Silently, he carried her to her room and laid her on her bed. Naomi slipped off her shoes and covered her with the blanket.
“I should go,” Lucas said once they were back in the hallway.
He didn’t give her a chance to answer before heading for the front porch. She followed him, quietly closing the door behind them.
“We’ll have to tell her I was in prison eventually.” His eyes lowered as though he didn’t want to any more than she did.
“I know. But I want her to know you first. There’s so much she won’t understand.” In Gracie’s world, only bad guys went to jail. “Right now she doesn’t need to know.” She only needed to know that Lucas was good. So, so, so good. Naomi wrapped herself into him, pressing her body to his. “I don’t want you to go.”
“But you don’t want me to stay, either,” he reminded her, running his hands down her back.
The touch made her seriously reconsider her “no men in the house overnight” policy. But what if Gracie woke in the middle of the night? What if they overslept and she found Lucas in Naomi’s bed the next morning? A sigh drained the air from her lungs. “We’ll find a way to be alone soon.” Maybe during the day while Gracie was at camp…
“I’ll hold you to that promise.” He leaned down and kissed her deeply, spreading that throbbing sensation through her body again. Then his hands fell away from her and he pulled back. “I’d better go before I can’t.”
Aching, she watched him leave.
Chapter Nineteen
Lucas must’ve stood at the end of Naomi’s driveway for a good five minutes trying to pull back the reins on his body. He wanted Naomi with an intensity that was getting harder to control, but he knew he damn well better learn to control it because the woman had a ten-year-old daughter, which meant he couldn’t haul her back into the house, strip off her clothes, and do what he’d been waiting a long time to do.
With a last look at the brightly lit living room window, Lucas trudged toward Lance’s place, fully aware that was also a risky prospect. He might interrupt something between Lance and Jessa, but tonight he was willing to risk it. He was too buzzed to head back to Dad’s place. Especially alone.
Gravel crunched under his solitary footsteps—a lonely serenade for the trek up the road. Evenings in the mountains were so still. Heavy and dark. Perfect for reflecting on all the ways things had gotten fucked up over the years. Damn the time that had passed, the things that had changed.
For the first time, he let himself consider what his life might be like if he hadn’t covered for Levi. He wouldn’t have completely lost three years. He wouldn’t have had to start over. He’d likely be in that house right there down at the end of the road holding the only woman he’d ever loved while they made good use of their bed.
Instead, he was walking on a gravel road. Alone.
“I don’t regret it.” He had to
say it out loud, to hear it. The truth was, he couldn’t let himself regret it because that would mean his sacrifice had been a waste, that it was all for nothing, and that just might break him.
Like always, he did his best to stifle the uncertainties as he hiked up the porch steps and strode through Lance’s front door. It wasn’t locked, which meant his brother and Jessa were likely decent.
But instead of finding Jessa inside, he found his two brothers hanging out at the kitchen table drinking a beer.
“You look like someone pissed in your punch.” Levi hopped up and hurried to the refrigerator to retrieve another beer.
He didn’t take the bait. “Where’s Jessa?” he asked Lance, taking the seat next to him.
“Evening call,” his brother whined. “Some lost ferret wandering down Main Street. Then she’s headed to Naomi’s for”—he made quotation marks with his fingers—“an emergency book club meeting. Which means I won’t get laid tonight.”
Lucas tried to keep his expression even but he must’ve winced, because Levi whapped him on his way back to his seat. “Why aren’t you getting laid right now? Didn’t you take Naomi out? You’ve got time before all of those women show up at her house.”
“I took her fishing. And I’m not trying to get laid,” he informed him. “Unlike you, some of us actually think of it as more than that.”
“If that’s the case, why didn’t you stay at her place for a while?” his younger brother teased.
“Because she has Gracie.” And he completely supported her decision to spare her daughter the questions of what Naomi and he were up to. Didn’t need to have that conversation with a ten-year-old.
“I’ll babysit the kid,” Levi offered. “Give you two some alone time.”
Lance and Lucas shared a look. There were so many things their younger brother didn’t seem to understand about relationships. Understandable, given he’d never actually had one. “It’s not that simple.” Things had been simple when they were sixteen. But now…
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