by J Peregrine
Several of the runners went out from the front of the group into the darkness along the thin line of trees to our left. They re-emerged quickly carrying someone, and somehow I knew it was Jake. He was injured, and from their urgency I could tell he was alive. They laid him out on a cloak that V threw onto the ground, and within minutes someone had started a small fire and they had made torches to see by. Then from within someone's pack, they brought out bandages and medicinals.
We tried to get close enough to see but the ones tending to Jake made everyone back up to make a ring around them. I decided it was partly to block the wind and partly to block the torch light from alerting the enemy. We stood, shoulder to shoulder watching in silence. It became obvious that Jake had been shot several times. They dug one and then another bullet from his side and then his shoulder as we watched, then they washed and treated the holes and sewed him up.
The circle to our right opened up and I realized that several of us had been at work making a stretcher. Three young men and two girls were finishing as the circle opened. They stood with the stretcher and then moved into the circle carrying it. Setting it down beside him they waited. When the healers finished wrapping him, he was lifted onto the it, then they each took hold of the poles on either side and stood. The healers then strapped him securely in place. Once they were done the whole group turned and moved forward as one. I was concerned, I didn't think it was good to move anyone with injuries such as his, but we were obviously still in danger. As we moved, I noticed that V was beside Jake but Dungadar and the ones who had traveled with him fanned out and brought up the rear.
We made our way again steadily down the mountain. We moved at a steady pace no stragglers were allowed, Dungadar's group made sure of that. Their caution gave me anxiety but there was nothing to do but keep moving. Finally, what seemed like hours later we came upon the rest of the villagers. They had obviously been hiding under what was left of a bridge next to the giant concrete footings that had once supported it. Since this had obviously been a rather large bridge it made me wonder where all the water had gone. I imagined that one of the bombings years ago had cut off the river or changed its route. Now it was empty, and the bridge destroyed, only the legs remained.
They set Jake down at the edge of the group nearest us and an older woman with scarves braided through her hair took charge. She sent several runners off in different directions, for supplies I assumed. Annalee and V moved next to the woman as she sat on the ground next to Jake. She put one hand on the top of Jake’s head and with the other, she touched his forehead. V and Annalee sat at his feet with one hand holding each foot and their other hand at the back of his knees. They worked in silence as they moved their hands from place to place. When they finally finished, the runners had returned with salves, so they took off his bandages and applied the salves to his wounds. By this time, he had opened his eyes, so they sat him up and made him drink what must have been a medicinal concoction and then laid him back down and wrapped layers and layers of blankets around him.
While this was happening, I realized that food was being brought around by the villagers that had been waiting for us. The drink seemed even more nourishing than the food. I guessed it was probably filled with things that calmed frayed nerves and overused adrenals. I sat with my back against a boulder near enough Jake and the fire to feel safe. The others gathered around me as we ate. Again, everyone ate slowly making the meal last. Then someone started a story. I smiled, these were the campfire stories I had heard of and read about. Stories filled with monsters and gremlins, things that were unreal but things that at the moment helped distract us from the real demons. The common moral to these stories seemed to be that tomorrow was another day. It was disquieting. It had occurred to me that they didn't seem to want revenge for all that was done to them, maybe they had some anger and frustration, but they seemed to take it in stride. Maybe that was what allowed them to deal with all of this, but it made me wonder.
"Do you believe in a god?" I asked Annalee quietly. I could tell she heard me, but she didn't respond right away.
"We believe in god, in love, in family, in fate," she said and looked over at me. "What do you believe in?"
I sighed. "I don't think I believe in anything," I said, studying my hands again.
"Everyone believes in something," she said sounding much older than her years. "Even if it is only the certitude of death." She was quiet for a moment. "Tell me the god you don't believe in,” she said, “cause I probably believe in it too." She smiled at me.
I smiled and nodded. "Mmm. You must be ancient," I said. “I’m not sure I guess.”
“And that is life,” she said.
We both laughed at this and leaned our heads back against the concrete pillar we were sitting next to. Then Annalee was summoned by one of the villagers we had joined, so she smiled at me and got up to follow them.
I didn’t move. I was exhausted, so I shut my eyes. I knew something that I wanted to believe, that was that I belonged, here among these people. I felt at home and comfortable, they were warm and welcoming. They didn’t even know me, but they had taken me in as if a cousin or a long-lost friend and shared with me all they had, including their protection. I was in awe of their love for each other, and their composure in the midst of all this.... Fleeing their sanctuary, and running for their lives, for our lives yet they seemed to take it in stride, as if, not that it didn’t matter but as if it was expected, a part of their normal process. I felt like I had come home, but I also felt helpless. What was worse I felt responsible, like the reason they had to flee their village, this time at least, was because of me.
Chapter 47
The stranger in my head had been quiet for some time. I had wondered whether she might be able to shed some light on all that had happened, but I wasn’t sure I wanted her to speak, and if she did, I wasn't sure I should trust her. Maybe she hadn’t been responsible for what they had done but she hadn’t put up a fight either, at least as far as I could tell.
Then inside my head, she said, “You need to ask the wise woman for licorice and butterbur. If you chew them, I think it will help with the pain and nausea when I speak.”
I grabbed my head and squeezed my temples.
“I’m sorry,” she said, “find the herbs and I will try to explain.”
Pinching my forehead, I moaned. I held my forehead and spoke low so only I could hear. “I will find the herbs later, tell me what you know,” I said and gritted my teeth.
She sighed inside of me and then she began. “After you were born and I realized that instead of being our child you were actually cloned from me, and then as I realized what their plans for you meant, I ran, I had to. I decided that if they couldn’t find me then you might be safe.”
I could feel her anxiety and sadness. Then I jumped up and lunged for the ditch next to me and threw up the contents of my stomach. I straightened and wiped my face. Several of the villagers near me had looked up or stood to see if I needed help but I motioned to them and so they let me be but watched me with concern. I sat down next to a tree by the ditch this time, a little way from the group. I rested my head against the tree. “Go on,” I said, in my head.
I felt her thinking this was a bad idea but then she continued.
“Each time I got away, he found me, until finally I was just too sick and too weak to bother. My body may have given out only yesterday, but really I lost my life all those years ago.”
I thought for a moment, understanding her pain but I still felt betrayed. Quietly I said, “I’ve lost everything, everything I’ve ever had. First my grandfather, then my dog, then my grandfather again since he wasn’t my grandfather after all so I didn't really have him in the first place, and then my father, who I had just found, and then found he wasn't my father, and my mother who I thought was just dead, isn’t dead and isn’t my mother!!” I sobbed a moment, overcome with my own phenomenal bad luck. “You had a life! You lived a life and you almost took mine and now you want m
e to have sympathy for you?” I shook my head and pressed my fingers into my eyes for a moment.
“I can’t change any of it, and like it or not, here I am, but I can help you. I can help you destroy them,” she whispered, and then she went silent.
I pushed her away after that. I was tired, and I didn't believe her. She had probably said what she had so I would want her around. But even if she could help me, did I want her help? And did I want to destroy them? I needed to think. I needed Jake to survive and right now I really needed to sleep, and I did.
I slept for a long while. When I woke it seemed to be mid-afternoon. Before I stirred, I listened to the talk around me. They were discussing places they could go to take refuge, places where the Agency wouldn't find them, at least not for a while. From what I had gathered no place was fool proof, but some places were better than others.
I got up and wandered among the people. It was nice to be with other people of so many different kinds, tall, short, young, old, thin, muscled, light hair and dark skin, dark hair and light skin, all color hair and all color skin, long faces, round faces, some with deformities or injuries but they were all at ease and comfortable within their own skins. It made me feel full. I had hungered so long for people, for their company.
They were preparing to travel again. I assumed they must have agreed on a place to go so they were gathering and preparing food and other supplies. I saw Annalee and V and went to sit next to them. They were wrapping hard bread and dried veggies and things into large leaves for storage. I sat down to help. Others were wrapping what looked like some kind of grain roll and seed packs. Then they were distributed among everyone's packs along with water skins.
When we were done, the evening meal was ready and we again sat around a small fire. This time there were no stories. The talk this evening was quiet and reserved. They had decided that in the morning each of the four groups would head out in different directions. Smaller groups were safer, they would be less conspicuous and easier to hide. They hoped to meet in their new home before snow-fly.
V had squeezed my arm before she had gone off to find Dungadar, to check on the scouts. Annalee also excused herself to join her traveling companions.
As I looked around the groups, I saw the healer woman, Reseda. Although no one had introduced her to me I had heard someone say her name. They weren't big on introductions here. She was sitting on the knoll above the camp next to Jake.
I climbed up next to her before I realized that her eyes were closed. She was obviously meditating or in deep thought or sleeping and I didn't want to disturb her, so I started to turn back.
"It's alright," she said. "Come, sit." She patted the ground next to her.
So I moved forward and sat down and as I looked at her, I was immediately struck by her eyes. They were almost clear with just a hint of blue. They truly looked like they were made of glass.
She looked at me only briefly and then she looked out into the night. We sat in silence for a few minutes and without preamble she said, "You must go with him."
"I think I'm coming with all of you," I said. Then she looked past me into the hills beyond us and was silent.
A chill went up my spine. "Do they hate us that much?" I asked suddenly.
She looked at me and then again out at her village. She did not answer right away, as if she was weighing her words carefully, I thought, and then with a sigh, she said, "We lived a relatively peaceful existence until recent years. We have always been divided into us and them. They are the elite. They were the ones who first figured out how to rebuild a society out of the chaos that was left, which wasn't much. They rebuilt a version of what they remembered having but resources are limited and so they closed themselves off from the rest of us. They use our people, the ones they entice away, as workers and slaves." She looked out into the night again. "But they are only interested in their own survival...no matter what the cost,” she said. "Somehow they feel it is their right to live forever and they seem to be willing to stop at nothing to obtain that either. So, when our young reach a certain age, they become a viable commodity for their immortality." Her eyes seemed to reach into my soul. "As they have gotten older it has put all of us in grave danger... It is an old story." The moon light showed on her face for a moment, “But, our greatest weakness is also our greatest strength..."
Chapter 48
The clouds rolled over the moon as I looked up. Was I part of that weakness? I could believe that given the events of the last few days, but I doubted I would be a strength, be able to help them in any way... I sighed.
She looked down at Jake frowning, "It is past time for him to wake. You stay here, I'm going to go get something to revive him." She got up and slipped down the rocky path to the lower ground and disappeared.
I listened into the darkness. It felt like everyone had gone to sleep. I'm sure there were guards that were still awake somewhere, but they were not where I could see them.
Clouds had covered the night sky and the temperature had dropped. It felt like a storm was brewing. And then out of nowhere a sound came. It was hard to place it at first. Was it inside my head or was it real. It sounded far away at first and then it became louder and louder. The entire camp sprang awake, and suddenly everyone was running. I jumped up but I couldn’t decide what to do. I looked for Reseda and saw her across the lower part of the camp just as the blast struck the ground at the base of the hill... there was a flash and the ground exploded.
Instinctively I dove, covering Jake's body with my own. I lay there on top of him, my skin prickling with fear. I had to hide. I had to get away. My heart raced in my chest. I couldn't see. The flash of light from the explosion had been so bright it had taken away my night vision and the only thing I could hear was my pounding heart and then debris falling. Another blast hit the ground just beyond camp. I grabbed Jake’s arms and held on.
I was frozen in fear. Why was this happening? I had finally found a family, a community, and a place to belong and something I wanted to be part of it, but someone was destroying it all. There were more blasts, but they were moving southward. I listened for shouting, or voices, but there was only the sound of splintering trees and shifting rock.
I looked down. Even with all this he had not even stirred. "Jake," I said, and shook his shoulders but nothing happened. I ducked in to him again at the sounds of another blast. What if he didn't wake up? Could I leave him behind? I looked around for the stretcher. I could use it, I could pull him on it, but I couldn't see it in the dark, and then there was a flash. I thought it was another blast at first but then I realized it was lightning instead and it was followed by a downpour of rain. I felt despair rise inside me, how could this get any worse? I took a breath. "We're alive. We're alive, and as long as we are living there are possibilities, right?" Why had I come here? Family, people, community and instead, I was going to be alone again or dead. I tried to think, what to do?
"You will find a way to bring this to an end someday," said the voice inside my head.
I flinched, as if I had forgotten the voice was there. "Who are you to talk about ending this? It is because of you that it began in the first place," I growled at her. "You! You and your kind are to blame for all of this!"
This silenced her but I could feel her say, "I didn't ask, for this."
Chapter 50
In this moment I realized that my whole life had been built upon lies. My mother wasn’t dead... and she wasn’t my mother. My father wasn’t my father, and I was so desperate to leave home to find my "Real" family I had missed the fact that my grandfather had been my only real family all along, maybe not by blood but by being there. And when I went searching for friends, community, family, what I found was not what I had expected.
And then, another missile hit the ground farther down the hill. “Jake,” I pleaded, looking out at the carnage around us and then down at him desperate to tell him, to make him see what was happening but still he didn’t open his eyes. So, I kissed him. I kissed him wi
th all of the fear and terror and desire that I felt racing through me.
His lips reacted and then he grabbed my arms and opened his eyes, looking at me. His look was confused, concerned, but curious.
I pulled my head away slightly. “I’m sorry,” I said, “They’re firing missiles at us.”
He tipped his chin to look up and then around and then he turned slowly onto his side. His nostrils flared and his skin became hot under my hands as I moved off of him so he could get up.
"Are you all right?" I said, “Maybe you shouldn’t move.” I was scared he wouldn’t be able to move or get up. After all, until a moment ago he had been unconscious.
He turned back to me, giving me a funny look. "You know, you've really got to stop saving my ass like this, it's getting embarrassing." And then he smirked at me.
I smiled but I shook my head. I was relieved in a way, he couldn't be feeling too badly if he could make wise cracks. “Well, only if you stop pushing me out of windows,” I said and smirked back at him.
He climbed to his feet, gripping my arm and proceeded to pull me after him. I wanted to make him wait but I could see that the adrenaline had kicked in and he was already stumbling down the rocks and over to where V and Annalee and I had been putting supplies together earlier. He grabbed a pack and looked inside, then threw it over his shoulders. Then he grabbed a second pack along with a bow and a knife that were lying on the ground. I grabbed a pack and looked around for anything else that would be useful. A coil of rope. I grabbed it and swung it over my head and put one arm through it.
Now my heart was pounding. Fleeing, again. I looked around and heard a shout. Down the hill, I saw V, waving her arm in a big arc trying to get our attention. “Jake, it’s V,” I said and touched his shoulder, pointing down the hill. “Thank the stars they’re all right.”