by Mary Leo
She was confused about last night, about her feelings for Gage and what reason told her would certainly happen if she relented to his love for her. God help her, she’d fallen in love with him, but she had to think of Hailey, of their life with a man who could turn back to alcohol on a dime. She felt as though she was betraying Hailey’s dad, a man she had loved deeply. A man she thought she would grow old with, until his life was eradicated by another man who was well past the legal definition of intoxication and decided to do ninety on the wrong side of the road.
She knew she had to tell Gage the truth. He deserved that much, but she simply didn’t know how.
“Can I get you some coffee?” the cheerful young waitress asked, shattering Cori’s thoughts. She wore oversize brown horn-rimmed glasses and her curly auburn-colored hair was pulled back off her face with clips. Her innocent face was scrubbed clean with very little makeup and she was dressed in the same black blouse and black slacks all the waitstaff wore at the hotel. She couldn’t have been more than twenty years old.
“Tea, please. English Breakfast, if you have it, or Irish Breakfast will do. Just not Earl Grey. I really don’t like Earl Grey. With warmed milk and some honey, if possible.” Cori wished that for once a waitperson would listen to her order and bring her exactly what she asked for. She noticed a name tag pinned to the young woman’s uniform: Audrey.
“Will you be having the buffet this morning?”
“Yes, Audrey, thank you,” Cori answered, retrieving the free buffet ticket the conference had provided from her purse.
Audrey left and returned within minutes with a white ceramic pot filled with hot water, a white mug also filled with hot water, an assortment of tea bags on a doily-clad plate, a small metal creamer of warmed milk and an unopened squeeze bottle of honey.
The young woman was a saint—not an Earl Grey teabag to be found, and everything else was perfectly presented.
“Thank you so much. This is lovely,” Cori told her as she tore open the wrapper on the Organic Irish Breakfast tea and immersed it in the mug of hot water. She watched as the water began to turn a lovely deep amber, and marveled at how this friendly young woman had brought her exactly what she’d asked for. A true rarity. Most of the time the water was tepid, the assortment of tea consisted of one horrible commercial black tea and the rest were herbal, the milk was cold and honey was either nonexistent or the bottle was industrial sized.
Audrey had no idea how badly Cori needed her proficiency this morning.
“So, how are you doing this morning?” Audrey asked, grinning.
Without even realizing it, Cori’s eyes watered. “I’m terrible, actually. I’m in love with a man who will probably break my heart and I don’t know what to do about it.”
The words came pouring out as if she had no control over them, as if someone else had taken over and spilled her heart out on the table for her.
Audrey slipped into the booth next to Cori, and put her arm around her shoulders. “Life sucks, sometimes, especially when we don’t know which way to go.”
Audrey quickly unrolled the silverware from its black napkin and handed the napkin to Cori. Cori made the effort to dry her tears.
“You are so right. I guess this is one of those times.”
“Like my mother says, life is not fair.” Audrey shook her head as if this fact was a real shame and something we all had to learn.
“Your mother is a smart woman.”
“I didn’t used to think so, but now that I’m older I’m finding that she really knows a lot.”
“That’s what happens when we grow up. We realize our parents, or in my case, my grandmother, know a lot more than we ever gave them credit for.”
“You sound as if you know a lot, as well. You’re just not giving yourself enough credit. I do that all the time, and it really sucks big-time when I second guess myself. I usually end up in a stupid situation.”
“Me, too.”
“See? We both agree. Okay, so what I’m hearing is you said he’ll probably break your heart, right?”
Cori sucked in a sob. The young woman was making a lot of sense.
“Yes, and I don’t know how to handle that.”
“The way I look at it, probably isn’t a for sure kind of thing. Probably means he might, not he will. You should have a little faith that he won’t ever break your heart. Your chances either way are about the same. Isn’t it always better to go with a positive rather than a negative?”
“Yes, always better, but I haven’t been completely honest with him.”
She shook her head. “See, now, that’s a problem. Why not?”
“Because if I tell him the reason why I’m having such a hard time trusting him, it’ll put a barrier up between us.”
Audrey pulled away, and was silent for a moment. Then after thinking about it she said, “My mom always told me, ‘the truth shall set you free.’ I think this is one of those times when you need to free yourself. That is, of course, assuming you didn’t do something that might land you in prison.”
“It’s nothing illegal.”
“Good, then go for it, babe. It’s the best advice I can give you.” Then she giggled. “That’s if you want advice from your nineteen-year-old waitress.”
“Audrey, you don’t know how much your encouragement means to me, especially this morning,” Cori told Audrey as she slid out of the booth.
“Then my job here is done. Just let me know when you need more hot water.”
“Thanks. I will.”
Audrey nodded and disappeared around the corner, to wait on other tables. The restaurant was beginning to get busy as more and more people arrived. Cori couldn’t see any faces, just the very tops of their heads.
She knew what she had to do now, knew that Audrey, in her sweet, innocent way, had been right. Nothing in life, other than death, was a certainty, and she’d been acting as if she knew exactly what Gage would do. She’d been using statistics to guide her heart, when she knew better than that.
If the medical profession had taught her anything it was that statistics sometimes had little bearing on a patient’s outcome. Some of the most fragile people had made it through intense trauma when by all accounts they should have died, whereas some of the strongest, most healthy people who had been expected to pull through had taken a turn for the worse.
Cori breathed in and out deeply, slowly, and methodically prepared her tea as if it had been a lifelong ritual, pouring in just the right amount of milk and adding the honey, followed by that first sip to be sure the taste was perfect...which it was. And just as she sat back in her private booth, contemplating how she would tell Gage the truth about all her apprehensions, she heard an approaching siren and instinctively knew it was headed straight for the Strater Hotel.
* * *
“HE DIDN’T MEET me in the lobby for breakfast and when he didn’t answer his phone I knew something wasn’t right,” Steve said, as Buck was loaded into the back of the ambulance on a gurney. Apparently, Buck had fallen sometime during the night and wasn’t able to get up to reach his phone on the nightstand—a dangerous situation for a man of his years. Cori knew his immobility could mean any number of possible life-threatening conditions, the biggest concern being a ruptured spleen or an unstable femoral fracture. She’d given him a brief examination before the ambulance arrived and concluded it was a stable femoral fracture, which could be fixed with pins.
Obviously, they’d do an X-ray and an MRI at the hospital to be sure, but Cori felt certain she had diagnosed him correctly and had warned the EMTs accordingly.
“I shouldn’t have allowed him out of my sight,” Gage said as Cori tried to assuage his guilt.
“It was an accident. He could have fallen whether you were with him or not,” Cori told him. She watched the same two EMTs who had taken Buck to the
hospital the first time he fell get ready to close the back doors on the ambulance.
“These things happen to older folks,” Steve added. “It’s not like I haven’t had my share of falls. But so far, thank God, I haven’t broken anything.”
“But he wouldn’t have been on the floor all night without treatment if I’d been there.”
“Nobody wants a babysitter, at least not while we’re still active,” Steve said, patting Gage’s shoulder.
“If something bad happens to him, I’ll never forgive myself.” Gage wore a look of anxiety on his face—not a state he needed to be in at the moment. Buck’s condition required a cool head to be in charge, someone who could handle all the paperwork and possible procedures the hospital staff would be throwing his way.
“Buck is getting older, and his agility isn’t what it used to be, but he’s awake and feisty as ever,” Cori said. “He knows what he wants and will probably give the nurses and doctors heck at the hospital.”
“I came on this trip to repair my relationship with my grandfather and instead I let him down once again.” Gage shook his head. “He’s right about me.”
“Gage, you’re...”
But he was no longer listening. Instead, he’d walked off as the taller male EMT slipped an oxygen mask over Buck’s face and the other EMT closed and secured the ambulance doors. Cori watched as the ambulance drove away, lights swirling and sirens blaring, and Gage walked up the street alone. She didn’t know where he was going exactly, but Wine and Fine Spirits was located in the direction he was headed.
She wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, to believe he simply needed some time alone. That he didn’t go along with his grandfather in the ambulance because he wanted to drive himself to the hospital so he’d have access to his car, but she also knew this was the perfect time for Gage to cave and give into his craving for alcohol.
Plus, the hotel parking lot was located in the opposite direction.
She walked back inside through the side door of the hotel with Steve Court by her side. This time she welcomed his presence.
“He’s a tough old bird. He’ll get through the physical part of this, I’m sure of it,” Steve said. “Having his grandson with him will help. But ever since he lost his Rosie, he’s been drifting. A woman can handle losing her man, but most men can’t handle losing their woman. Something in our DNA. We’re not cut out to be alone in our golden years. We don’t know what to do with ourselves, and most of the time we don’t give a damn without that special lady by our side. Our kids and friends fill in some of the gaps, but for the most part, unless we have somebody who knows how we like our morning toast prepared, our lives can be pretty miserable. Those doctors can fix Buck’s body, but it’s his heart that needs fixing.”
Cori thought about her grandmother and how, despite how much Gram missed Grandpa, she still managed to lead a full life. Steve was right about that much...
Or did she?
Gram’s shopping and spending seemed excessive at times. Cori’s grandfather had always been the money manager and kept them from overspending. Was her grandmother really managing her grief and loneliness or was she suffering as much as Buck, and Cori was blind to it?
Cori turned to Steve and gave him a hug. “In just five minutes, you’ve managed to teach me more about aging than I’ve learned in all my combined years of education and practice. Thank you. Truly, thank you.”
When she pulled away from him, his face flushed with what she could only guess was embarrassment. “Anything I can do to help.”
“You have no idea,” Cori said, and rushed up the two flights of stairs to her room. She wanted to be at the hospital when the doctors made the diagnosis.
She burst into her room just as her grandmother walked out of the bathroom, dressed and ready for the day. Cori noticed that most of their luggage was neatly stacked by the door.
“We won’t be leaving today. Buck fell during the night and I’m sure he has a fractured hip. I just don’t know the severity of the fracture. That will be determined with an X-ray or scan. He went off to the hospital about ten minutes ago, and I want to be there with him.”
“I heard the siren,” Grandma May said. “I somehow knew it was for Buck.”
Gram took a seat on the wicker desk chair.
“I’m sorry about Buck. When will we know how bad he is?” Hailey asked while sitting on the bed, still wearing her pajamas.
“It shouldn’t take more than a couple hours.”
“Will he be able to ride a horse again?” Grandma May asked as she sipped coffee from a paper cup. Cori could tell she was hiding real concern behind her calm voice.
“I don’t know, Gram. It depends on how bad this is, and how determined Buck is to recover.”
“Is he going to be all right, Momma? He always makes me laugh, and he tells me stories about his ranch in Idaho. He told me we could come visit him whenever we want to and I told him we would. He’s so nice. He’s not going to die, is he Momma?”
Cori walked over to Hailey and gave her a hug. “He’s going to be fine, sweetheart. He just took a tumble, which can happen to anyone. The doctors at the hospital will take good care of him. Whatever’s wrong, they’ll fix it, I promise.”
“Will you be able to keep your promise this time, Momma?”
Cori was busy changing into a pair of black dress pants, heels, a new orange silk blouse and a new white fitted jacket. She didn’t want to go to the hospital looking like anything other than a professional, and fortunately her gram had provided her with the clothes to achieve that look.
“What do you mean, baby? I always keep my promises, or at least I try to.”
She buttoned up the blouse and sat on her daughter’s bed. This was one of those moments when her daughter needed her full attention. Cori prided herself on keeping a promise to her daughter, at least she thought she had.
“You promised that Grandpa would be okay and he died.”
Cori caught the look of anguish in her grandmother’s eyes. She didn’t remember making that promise to her daughter, but if Hailey said she had, then it must be true.
“That was different, honey. Grandpa had been sick for a really long time.”
“I know, but you still promised.”
Cori reached out and Hailey crawled over and sat on her mother’s lap, resting her head on Cori’s shoulder. Cori wrapped her arms around her little girl. She smelled of sleep, and was still warm from being under the covers. Cori’s baby was growing up at a rapid pace and almost didn’t fit in her lap anymore.
Suddenly, she remembered the promise she’d made to her daughter about Grandpa. She’d been working long days to compensate for the time she spent away, flying back and forth to Denver every week to be with her grandparents. She hadn’t had time to spend with Hailey, and when she did get a few moments all Hailey wanted to talk about was her great-grandpa. Cori had suspected for quite some time that he wouldn’t recover from the cancer that was gaining ground inside his body, but she hadn’t had the heart to tell Hailey, so she promised that he would get better without giving it another thought.
A mistake on her part.
“You’re right, sweetheart. I did. Sometimes, when I make a promise to you about someone getting better, I’m hoping with all my heart that’s what will happen but I don’t always know for sure. Would you like it better if I didn’t make you a promise I’m not sure about?”
Hailey thought about it for a moment. “I think that would be better, yes. That way, I won’t get disappointed when that person doesn’t get better.”
“I can do that.”
“So, is it true about Buck? Will he really get better, Momma?”
Cori’s first instinct was to tell Hailey that he would. She had always wanted to spare her child of any undue pain. But Hailey was growing up now, and des
erved to know the truth about the people she cared about.
“I honestly don’t know, baby. He has a long road ahead of him, but if he works really hard, and takes good care of himself, there’s a good chance he’ll recover in a few months.”
“Should I pray for him, Momma? Do you think that will help?”
“Yes, sweetheart, pray really hard. And pray for Gage as well. This is a difficult time for both the Remingtons.”
“I’ll pray, too,” Grandma May said, as she came over and sat next to Cori and Hailey, wrapping her arms tight around them both.
* * *
GAGE WAS AT his wits’ end. He felt that everything he’d said or done in the past few years had led him to this cataclysmic moment. He’d wanted to do right by his grandfather, wanted to mend fences, but instead those fences couldn’t be in more disrepair. And if his grandfather didn’t make it through whatever malady had sent him off to the hospital, Gage would surely pass away right along with him.
As he headed up the sidewalk, he knew he should be aiming for his car so he could meet his grandfather at the hospital, but Gramps had told him in no uncertain terms to keep his distance. That he didn’t need Gage hanging around as if he were senile, that he was perfectly capable of making his own decisions.
Gage had tried to argue his stubbornness away, but he could tell that it only served to agitate Gramps, making it more difficult for the EMTs to treat him. In the end, Gage let it go and tried instead to get his grandfather to calm down, which seemed impossible.
Gage didn’t know why his grandfather was insisting he stay away, but he decided to honor his wishes and keep his distance, at least for the initial diagnosis at the hospital. Cori would be there, and that was good enough for him.
Until then, Gage had something he wanted to do and was in no mood for anyone to try to stop him, including Doctor Parker.
As he approached Wine and Fine Sprits, he lingered in front of the shop, the open door taunting him, beckoning him to enter. All he had to do was take the first step. Everything else would be easy and he knew he’d feel so much better once he gave into its pull.