“Gus?” I called out. I looked around, but found myself alone. My baby was once again still and I wondered if I had imagined her moving. “Gus?” I repeated, panic in my voice.
“I’m here, darlin’. Everything’s fine.” He was looking out from the small window to my right.
“Where were you?”
“Taking care of the zombie. It’s gone.”
“I know. I felt it die.”
“You ok, Zoe?”
I nodded. “It was just emotional. Why didn’t you take me with you to kill it?”
“You told me it was focused on you, remember? Took advantage of it being occupied is all.”
“I never told you that.”
“Yes you did.”
“No.”
He shook his head at me like I was crazy.
“C’mon, let’s get inside. That unit smells too bad, so we’ll find a way in to a different one.”
He crawled out through the window and joined me outside. He held his hand out for me and we walked together down the backside of the motel, checking windows as we went. I had suggested that we try to go in through the back in order to leave the front door to whatever unit we ended up occupying intact. The second to the last window was closed but not locked. Gus hoisted himself up and disappeared into the room. He told me to wait out back until he came to get me, but I figured that was wasting time. I walked around to the other side of the building despite his request that I not. I knew he’d take a minute or two to clear the room of potential dangers before unlocking the front door, so I waited patiently until I heard the knob lock disengaging. He was surprised to see me standing there, but looked too tired to scold me.
“Come in,” he said with a sweep of his hand.
I walked into the motel room, which was dark from both the time of day and lack of electricity. The drapes were pulled closed, and would remain so for our safety. The small room was occupied by a queen sized bed that was covered in a thin orange bedspread, a small desk with a television set on top of it, and a two-person round table with two chairs. The faded brown carpeting was worn and the walls were shades of orange. In one corner was an easy chair. My hunch was that it was not nearly as comfortable as it looked.
“Home sweet home, huh?” I said.
“At least for tonight.”
I watched as Gus walked to the bathroom. I heard the window slide shut. “Lock’s broken,” he called out to me. “But at least the window’s high, so I think we’ll be ok.”
I walked toward his voice, holding my belly.
“I think we should do a quick look around for supplies before it’s full-on dark,” he said once he saw me. “We need water and food. The manager’s office might have something. Tomorrow we can hit the diner next door.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
“Let’s just be sure to stay quiet and out of sight. The highway worries me, being so close.”
We walked together to the front door. Gus reached his hand out and placed it on the doorknob, and then looked at me. I nodded to indicate that my mind was empty. He disengaged the deadbolt with his other hand and cracked the door before looking out to make sure nothing unexpected awaited us. I had my pistol at the ready, and noted that before stepping outside Gus removed his from where it was tucked into his waistband.
“Go ahead,” he whispered. “I’ll close the door behind us.”
I stepped out into the cool night. The clouds had thinned and stars were shining in the night sky, the only light coming from a nearly full moon. The air was heavy with moisture from the day’s rain. Gus grabbed my hand and pulled me to the right. We walked quickly toward the manager’s office. I heard a coyote howl in the distance, followed by several more. The shivers that ran up my spine weren’t from the howls, but rather from knowing that much more dangerous things were out there.
It didn’t take long for us to reach the manager’s office. It was a typical motel entry with large glass windows and a swinging door. The sign in the window still said “vacancy” and was hanging lopsided. On a whim, I pushed on the bar and found the door unlocked. A small bell than hung on the inside chimed, announcing our entry. Gus and I walked in together, guns raised in preparation for any dangers. My mind remained clear.
“I think so,” said Gus.
“Think what?” I asked, confused.
“You asked if I think we’re alone.”
“No I didn’t.” I paused, causing Gus to turn and look at me rather curiously.
“C’mon, let’s just clear the rooms quick.”
“Ya, ok.”
We walked around the reception counter, which was a mess of newspapers and an old half-full coffee cup that was growing mold. Directly behind the desk was a short hallway that was bathed in near total darkness, the moonlight not reaching this far into the building.
“Let me go first with the flashlight,” whispered Gus.
I wasn’t going to argue. He shuffled in front of me, and clicked his flashlight on. The beam revealed a room in the back, complete with a twin sized bed, nightstand, and dresser. The bed was unmade, but otherwise the room was tidy. A large blood stain beside the bed on the beige carpet stood out from the rest of the room.
“Not seeing much in here. We should check drawers real quick though.”
I walked to the dresser and opened each, doing a quick inventory. There were several t-shirts, so I grabbed a couple of them figuring they’d at least make for good sleepwear for the night. The single drawer in the nightstand supplied us with a bag of hard candies and another flashlight. Unable to help myself, I unwrapped one of the candies and popped it into my mouth. Cherry. It was as close to Heaven as I’d felt in a very long time.
“I’m guessing that’s a bathroom behind that door,” I said while still sucking on the candy. I gestured toward a single door near the foot of the bed.
Gus nodded at me, and then reached for the knob to open it. The door swung outward, revealing a larger-than-I-expected utilitarian room that contained a simple shower stall, a sink, toilet, and shelves that held boxes of supplies.
“Gus,” I said. “Look.” I pointed at the bottom shelf which held several gallon jugs of distilled water.
“Ayup.” He seemed indifferent and almost irritated.
“You ok?”
“Ya. I was just hoping to find more usable stuff here.”
“Think we could use the water to bathe real quick?”
“It’d be nice, but I don’t want to haul it all back to the room”
“We can just use the shower here. Keep watch and I’ll go first?” I tried to make my eyes look pleading.
He sighed. “Ya, ok. But no more than five minutes, ok?”
I nodded eagerly.
“Keep the flashlight in here with you. I’ll search the rest of the place while you clean up.”
“Thanks.”
Gus left the flashlight perched on the small sink before leaving the room. He left the door cracked. I quickly took my shoes off and stripped out of my clothes. I grabbed two of the jugs of water and set them inside the shower. There were hotel towels folded and set neatly on one of the shelves, so I grabbed one to set on the ground outside of the shower. Once inside, I opened one of the containers of water and poured it over myself, doing my best to wet every inch of myself. It was cold, but I didn’t really care. Whoever had used this little bathroom and bedroom had thankfully left behind their body wash, shampoo, and conditioner. I lathered and scrubbed and delighted in the scent of clean. At last, I used the other jug of water to rinse myself. I found myself needing a third, so snuck out of the shower just long enough to grab one more. A dose of conditioner to my hair and one final rinse, I left the shower behind and used a second towel to dry myself off, and wrapped a third around my hair.
“You done in there, Zoe?” Gus asked quietly from just the other side of the door.
“Hang on,” I answered back as I wrapped a towel around myself. “’Kay, come in.”
He pulled the door open a
nd smiled. “You smell good.”
“Thanks.” I would have smiled back, but was too tired. “Find anything?”
I scooted around him into the small bedroom, careful to keep hold of my towel.
“A few little things. Let me use the shower and I’ll tell you about it in a bit, ok?”
“Ya, sure.”
“Oh, I set clothes out on the bed for you. Try to keep the flashlight away from any windows, just in case anyone’s out there to take notice. I won’t be long.”
I walked to the twin bed and found the clothes Gus had set out, if you can call them that. Whoever had ‘lived’ here was about his size, which is larger than me. I pulled on a pair of boxer shorts, trusting them to at least be clean, and an oversized plain white t-shirt. Even with my gravid belly, the shirt was loose. It was soft cotton and felt deliciously clean. I sat on the bed and lost track of time as I listened to the noises coming from the bathroom.
“Hey Zoe,” whispered Gus.
I had been thinking about Emilie and looked up. “Huh?”
“I found some good stuff in the boxes in here.”
Gus had a towel wrapped around his waist. I felt guilty admiring his nearly naked body in the glow of the flashlight. I could see his stab wounds even in the dim lighting, but couldn’t tell how they were fairing.
“What kind of stuff?”
“Toothpaste, lotion, shower caps.”
“Whoooo shower caps!” I teased him, followed by a yawn.
“There’s also an unwrapped toothbrush in the medicine cabinet. Do you mind if we share it?”
“Are you serious?” I asked. “Oh God, clean teeth would be so nice. Can I go first?”
He chuckled. “Yes, but let’s get this stuff back to the room. I found some plastic bags too, so I’ll pack our dirty clothes up. If you don’t mind carrying that, I’ll grab the box of goodies I packed.”
“Awesome,” I said, with another yawn.
Within a few minutes, Gus had pulled on a pair of boxers and a t-shirt that matched my own and we were ready to head back to the room that we had claimed for ourselves. The walk back proved colder than I anticipated, and the wind was picking up again. Rain began falling just as we reached the front door.
“We’ll need to clear the room, darlin’. Let’s set things just inside the door and then take a look around.”
He opened the door and I half expected someone to jump us. The room was dark, quiet, and cold. We set our loads on the floor to the side of the door. As both of our flashlights shone around the room, nothing evil emerged.
“Lock the door and I’ll just make sure the bathroom’s clear,” said Gus. He sounded tired.
I engaged the lock, and made sure the heavy curtain was fully covering the front window. I felt far from secure in this new location. I wrapped my arms around myself in an attempt to stay warm.
“You should climb under the covers,” said Gus as he emerged from the bathroom. “It’s colder than a witch’s tit in here.”
“A witch’s tit huh?” I rolled my eyes in the dark. “You’re so weird, Gus.”
“I try my best.”
“I’ll look for an extra blanket.”
I walked the short distance to a small closet and opened the bi-fold door, which squeaked lightly. Just as I hoped, there were two spare blankets folded on the top shelf. I carried them to the bed and spread them out, hoping they’d keep out the chill of the night. The room was suddenly bathed in soft candlelight, causing me to turn.
“Where’d you get candles?” I asked in surprise.
“Back at the manager’s desk. Go brush your teeth while I unpack the rest of the load.”
He held the toothbrush, a small tube of toothpaste, and a half bottle of drinking water out for me. I took the items gratefully and wandered off to the small bathroom. I scrubbed my teeth for longer than I can recall ever having done so before, and emerged feeling minty fresh.
“No way!” I squealed when I saw a bag of Doritos and a jar of nacho cheese dip sitting in the middle of the bed. “No freaking way!”
“Way,” said Gus, mimicking a teenager.
“Dork,” I chided while I hopped onto the bed.
“On a more serious note, I found the snacks in a drawer behind the manager’s desk. Next to some nudie mags.”
“Eww.”
Gus winked at me. “Not only that,” he added as he held an arm behind his back. “I found a six pack of Coke.” He pulled his arm out from behind him, producing the soda.
I smiled as he set them on the bed. “Awesome. Mind if I eat?”
“Help yourself, darlin’.”
I opened the sack noisily and inhaled the scent of the fake cheese. Gus lit a second candle and placed it on the small nightstand that held a non-working alarm clock and lamp. I felt the mattress depress as he sat across from me. I was struggling to open the metal lid on the jar of cheese dip, so he took it from me and helped without being asked. I heard the ‘pop’ of the vacuum seal break. I shoved a chip into my mouth and chewed quickly, too hungry to worry about savoring the flavor.
“We’ll try for something healthier tomorrow,” said Gus. He looked exhausted.
“How are your wounds?” I asked.
“Much better. Nearly healed, see?” He lifted his t-shirt up to expose the scars on his abdomen.
I rubbed my own swollen belly, reminded that my baby was growing far too quickly.
“Try not to worry, Zoe. No point in worrying.”
We both ate chips and dip for the next several minutes without speaking. My fingers were coated in orange already, so I wiped them on the blanket beneath us. The sound of a soda can opening made me look up. Gus, always the gentleman, held the first one out to me. I drank deeply from the can as he opened his own. I was able to finish half of it before my stomach grew full. I reached over and set it on the nightstand and then lay down against the pillows.
“Full already?” Gus chuckled as he popped another chip into his mouth.
“Ya,” I said with a satisfied sigh.
“I never used to eat this crap,” he said as he crinkled the bag closed. “We should get some sleep. Want me to sleep on the floor?”
“Nah. You can imagine how nasty that carpet is.” I climbed under the covers. “Besides, we’ll stay warmer in the same bed.”
The chill of the night was worsening and sitting in a t-shirt and boxers had probably been unwise. I was starting to shiver as Gus climbed in beside me. He pulled his t-shirt off.
“Sorry,” he said. “I’ve never been able to sleep well in a shirt.”
“It’s fine. At least you’re clean,” I smiled with a grin.
Gus leaned over and blew the small candles out, immersing the room in rich darkness.
“It’s so cold,” I whispered.
Without thinking, I scooted closer and settled in at his side, and rested my head on his chest. I felt him tense.
“Is this ok?” I asked.
“Of course.” His body relaxed.
“I’m not hurting you?”
“Nah.”
“Gus?”
“Huh?”
“He left us.”
“Boggs?”
“Ya. He left me and the baby.” My mind was still a bit numb over this fact.
“We’ll find him, Zoe.” He kissed my forehead gently. “I made a promise to him once, that I’d always take care of you. And I will.”
“I know. I was awake that night, in the bed and breakfast, when you were talking with him.”
“I don’t think any of them meant to take off. I think they had to, in order to survive. Try not to hold it against him, ok? We still don’t know just what happened exactly.”
I didn’t answer. Trying to hold my emotions in was hard enough. Gus wrapped his arm around me tighter as he turned onto his side to face me. Moonlight was creeping in through the seam in the drapes, making it possible to just barely see his face. I could tell that his eyes were intense.
“You know I’m good fo
r my word. No matter what’s happened between you and him, or me and you, I’ll do my best to keep you and your baby safe.”
I felt the warmth of his free hand as he set it on my belly, over where my baby was nestled beneath. I met his eyes and breathed slowly. He unhurriedly leaned down and let his lips linger just above my own. The warmth of his breath felt was soothing. He kissed me softly on the lips, the scruff of his growing beard stroking my face. My heart skipped a beat as he lingered, as if asking for permission to continue. When I didn’t respond he pressed his lips against mine again, with a bit more force. He parted my lips with his tongue, and I closed my eyes knowing that I should fight the desires growing within me. He deepened the kiss, exploring my mouth with his. His hand ran up my t-shirt, creating a trail of warmth on my chilled skin. When he found my left breast and began kneading, I broke the kiss.
“We can’t, Gus,” I said between short breaths. “We’ve already hurt so many people.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have crossed the line,” he sighed as he backed away by just a couple of inches.
His hand remained on my breast and while he seemed to be struggling with something internal, he leaned back down and kissed me more deeply than before. His hand slid down my side, sending shivers of pleasure into my core.
“Tell me to stop, Zoe,” he breathed.
I moaned in response, arching my back involuntarily. Gus’ hand found its way behind my butt and he pulled my too-large boxers down over my hips.
“Oh God, tell me to stop,” he repeated a bit more loudly. His pleading was driving me wild. He shifted his weight, pulling his pinned arm out from under me. He trailed kisses down the center of my chest, his lips hot and wanting. When he reached the top of my pregnant belly, he nuzzled me gently while he reached down past my knees and I felt him slip my boxers over my feet. He finally moved back up in the bed to look me in the eyes.
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