by Ann Simas
“Pretty sure, but maybe I can come back another time to see you.” And suddenly, Andi knew how she could give each of the kids that kiss and hug from Sherry. “Before you go, I have something I want to pass on to you from your mom.” They watched her expectantly, and Andi deliberately avoided looking at Vaughn or the grandparents.
“What?” she heard four times.
“A big kiss and a hug for each of you.”
“From Mommy?” Etta asked.
“Yes,” Andi said, and that seemed to be all the confirmation any of them needed. They didn’t push or shove and the girls let their little brothers go first. Andi gave them all a kiss on each cheek and then they each threw their chubby little arms around her neck and squeezed for a long time. Andi couldn’t speak once they had finished.
Vaughn walked his family to the door, then returned and asked Andi if she’d like a coffee.
They sat at the kitchen table, talking. Andi wanted desperately to ask Vaughn about Sherry’s health, but he brought it up on his own.
“You know, Sherry was never sick. I don’t know how she managed it, but every time one of the kids came down with something, she avoided getting whatever they had.” He rubbed the stubble on his chin. “I guess that’s why it was so shocking to see her in such” —he shrugged and shook his head, his frustration obvious— “I don’t know! In such bad health, I guess, for the weeks leading up to her death.”
“How so?”
“She complained of constant headaches, then she began to experience gastrointestinal distress, mostly in the form of diarrhea, but also stomach upset, though not to the point of vomiting.”
“Did she have a fever or anything?”
“No, but she had a hard time sleeping. She’d been having some work stress. Nothing radical, but our Sherry was a little of what they call anal retentive nowadays when it came to her business.”
“Had she seen a doctor?”
“No, though she did tell me she had an appointment with a neurologist. I thought maybe whatever was wrong was related to her dental work. She had an accident when she took the girls to play mini-golf. Some kid was screwing around, swinging his putter in the air and hit her in the mouth. She had to get some crowns and while she was there, the dentist said she had two cavities that needed filling. Almost thirty years old and she’d never had a cavity. She spent a considerable amount of time in the dental chair over the six weeks before she died and she wasn’t happy about one minute of it.”
“I can imagine. What did her dentist have to say about it? My mom had to have a crown, and she came away feeling like crap because she had a reaction to the anesthetic.”
“Sherry talked to Dawna—that’s her dentist, Dawna Stimack—about it, but Dawna didn’t seem to be concerned. Said there’s always some residual pain with knocking down the teeth underneath so you can make room for crowns. She gave Sherry some fluoride toothpaste, which she said would help build up the enamel on the original tooth, if she used it once a day.”
Andi had heard that story from the Spences. She made a mental note to ask her own dentist about it. “Did she consider going to an allergy doctor, maybe having some tests run to see if she was allergic to the anesthetic?”
“She put off seeing her GP, then she had to go to Bellevue and didn’t want to screw up her flight schedule or have the people up there rearrange meeting times. She promised to schedule an appointment the day…the day after she got back.” His voice broke on a sob and he dropped his face into his hands. His shoulders shook with emotion as he cried.
Andi quietly got up and retrieved the tissue box, putting it on the table in front of him. She didn’t feel she knew Vaughn well enough to put her arms around him, but she did feel that she could put a comforting hand on his shoulder.
After a while, he regained control and wiped his eyes and nose. “Sorry,” he said.
Andi gave his shoulder a final squeeze and went back around the table to push in her chair. “Please, Vaughn, don’t feel you ever have to apologize for grieving the loss of the woman you loved.”
She picked up her cup, rinsed it in the sink, then put it in the dishwasher.
“I’m a wreck,” he admitted. “I don’t know how I’m going to do this without Sherry.”
“You just have to take it one day at a time,” Andi said. “I’ve never been in your shoes, but it just seems that in life, that’s the way you have to do it. One day at a time.”
He nodded. “I know you’re right. Hell, I haven’t even shaved in a week.”
Andi picked up her jacket. “Your kids will be back soon. You should take this opportunity to have a shave and a nice hot shower, get yourself into some fresh clothes. Maybe that will help your outlook.”
He grimaced. “Is that your polite well of telling me I look like hell?”
Actually, he looked attractive in a rugged kind of way. “I think you look like the smart, good-looking guy my old friend fell in love with. I know she would never have married a man who wasn’t strong enough to carry on without her, or to raise their children alone.”
He cocked his head at her. “I hope you’ll come back again,” he said, his tone hopeful.
“I will,” she said, “and I’ll bring some pictures next time. I have a photo album at my folks’ and I know there are some shots in there you won’t see in the Spence family album.”
“Knowing Sherry, I believe that,” he said, offering a half-smile.
Andi hesitated a moment, as a thought occurred to her. “Do you have a pastor or priest that you can talk to, Vaughn?”
He looked chagrined. “I haven’t been to church in ages,” he admitted. “I’m a lapsed Catholic and Sherry was Episcopalian, also lapsed, so….”
Andi chewed on her bottom lip. “I’m also a lapsed Catholic, but I have a friend who’s a priest. Would it be okay if I hooked up the two of you?”
His face froze for a moment, then thawed. “I wouldn’t be opposed.” He closed his eyes, his jaw flexing again. When he opened them, he said, “I feel like I need some help on this. Some guidance. Some way to make sense of it. Otherwise,” he finished, his voice trailing off in anguish, “I may go stark raving mad.”
Andi felt his pain like a sharp knife through her heart.
“Sherry thought she was pregnant again,” he said on a strangled whisper.
The knife in her heart twisted. “I’m so sorry, Vaughn.” She didn’t know what else to say.
There wasn’t anything else she could say to ease his pain.
Walking down the front sidewalk to her car, Andi had no doubt that Vaughn had loved Sherry beyond life itself.
Jack might haul him in for questioning, but he’d be wasting his time. He should be talking to Sherry’s dentist.
She had promised Jack that she wouldn’t do any investigating, but surely, a quick call to her own dentist about a thought that was simmering at the back of her mind wasn’t any different than looking up something on the Internet.
CHAPTER 13
First things first. Andi drove by her office and discovered several vehicles in the parking lot. Belatedly, she remembered that the marketing team had planned a Saturday workshop to bounce ideas around for an upcoming new-product release without distractions from the rest of the staff.
She continued on around the block. The mortuary lot was currently empty, so she took a vacant space there. She climbed out of her car and locked the door, heading for the coffee shop, where she purchased a latté. It was chilly outside, but not frigid. She stepped outside to the patio, hoping the cool weather had deterred other coffee drinkers. She needed privacy if she wanted to say anything back to Sherry when she made her report.
Luck was with her. The only other table occupied was next to the building, where the structure provided a modicum of protection from the cold. Andi grabbed the table where she and Father Riley had sat before, next to the railing. She sat down, sniffing the air. Nothing. No smoke. No Sherry. She sipped her coffee, patiently waiting, enjoying bird noises over the muffled sound
s of traffic. Halfway through her drink, she murmured, “Sherry? You there?”
Silence met her inquiry. She took a few more sips, then her phone rang. She recognized Jack’s number. “Hi, Jack.”
“Hi, yourself. How’d it go?”
She knew he was talking about the visit he hadn’t wanted her to have with Vaughn. “Good,” she said, not wanting to get into it over the phone. “What’s up?” She had a feeling she already knew, judging by the tone of his voice, but she hoped she was wrong.
“I’m sorry, Andi, but I have to postpone our date tonight. We’ve got a situation. Arson and hostages. Half the department is out with the f-ing flu, so all available personnel have been called in.”
Andi’s heart gave a lurch. Not only was Jack walking into a dangerous situation, but her brother Dell, being a firefighter, would likely be, as well. This was his on-day. She thought of a million warnings she could give Jack and settled on one that didn’t seem overly naggy or freaked out. “Be safe.”
“I will.” He paused for a heartbeat. “If I get away at a reasonable hour, I’ll give you a call tonight.”
“Okay.”
“Otherwise, maybe we can hook up tomorrow.”
“I’m having lunch with Father Riley at two. Why don’t you join us?”
“At your place?”
“No, at the rectory.”
“You’re inviting me for lunch at his place?”
“Sure. I’m going to see him in a little while. I’ll let him know. He told me he likes having company for Sunday lunch. Trust me. He’ll be happy to have you come.”
“If you say so.”
“I do.” She heard a frenzy of voices in the background.
“Gotta go.”
“Take care, okay?”
“You, too, Andi.”
Andi ended the call and wondered why he thought she needed to take care. She sniffed the air again, but still no sign of the vague smoke scent she’d come to associate with Sherry.
She polished off her now-cold beverage and realized she was hungry. She went back inside and selected a warm ham-and-cheese roll, a banana, and a glass of water. Back at her table, she unwrapped her roll and devoured half of it before she got a whiff of smoke. She had the patio to herself now.
This is not the way it’s supposed to happen, Andi.
Andi swallowed and said, “I know, Sherry. I’m so sorry.”
You saw Vaughn and the kids?
Not for the first time, Andi wondered why, if Sherry could “visit” her home and that of her parents, she didn’t know what transpired at either place. She decided to ask.
When I’m there, I can’t hear what’s going on. I only see and it’s not really a clear picture. Everything is kind of fuzzy, like I’m seeing it through a fog. I knew you were planning on going to see my family today, but I was trying really hard to go somewhere else and…I don’t know! It’s like I tried so hard to be in the other place, everything else was blocked out for me.
“What other place?” Andi asked, curious.
I was trying to go to my dentist’s office. I wanted to find out why I keep thinking about my teeth. The answer is in my teeth!
“Did you get there?”
No! It’s so frustrating. All of it’s so frustrating. This is not the way it’s supposed to happen, Andi!
“I know,” Andi commiserated. “I know.” She paused a moment, choosing her words with care. “Sherry, I think you may be onto something about your teeth. I’m going to ask my dentist a couple of questions, see if I can come up with some ideas on how this can be…pursued.” Andi could almost hear Sherry’s sigh of relief.
Thank you for believing me, when I don’t even seem to know what I’m saying.
“Trust me, I understand your frustration,” Andi said.
Why can’t I remember?
“I don’t know, but perhaps remembering isn’t the important part.”
What do you mean?
“Just that maybe the thing that’s most important is that we find out what happened to you so that you can move on to where you’re supposed to be. In Heaven.”
I hope it’s Heaven.
“It will be. You led a good life, Sherry. You didn’t lie or hurt people or cheat your way through it.”
I told white lies.
An instant memory flashed in Andi’s head of that being true. “Only because you felt it was better to stretch the truth than to hurt someone. I remember you hated a dress I once bought but you found something nice to say about the color, anyway.”
Tell me about my children.
“They miss you,” Andi answered honestly. “They are still grieving and crying for you. I gave them each kisses and hugs and told them you were in Heaven and that you had asked me to do that.”
Thank you. Oh, Andi, thank you! And what about Vaughn?
“He’s beside himself with grief, but trying really hard to keep your family together in spite of it. He’s learning how to feed them all and clean up their messes and today, your mom offered to teach him how to take care of the girls’ hair.”
He’s a strong man. He’ll survive me being gone, I know he will.
“He loved…loves you deeply. He will survive, but it will take time for him to adjust.”
Time, yes. Time. How are my parents?
Andi went on to detail her visit at the house.
Keep in touch with my family for me, Andi. Promise me.
“I will. I promise. I’m sorry I didn’t keep in touch with you over the years. I’m sorry I missed your funeral. I just didn’t know….”
We both had our separate lives, Andi, and the street ran both ways. Funerals are for the living, not the dead. You’re here now, when I need you most. Did you know the dead can pray? Even now, I pray to God, thanking Him for allowing you to hear me, to help me.
Andi picked up her napkin and wiped away her tears.
This is not the way it’s supposed to happen, Andi.
“I know,” Andi whispered into the wind. “I know.”
CHAPTER 14
Andi finished her cold roll and stuffed the banana into her purse. With the afternoon ahead of her, she plotted her schedule. First she called her dentist, who was her brother’s best friend, and asked if he could spare an hour to answer some questions. Dr. Michael Zapponi said yes and invited her stop by his house at five-thirty. They could talk for an hour, then she could join him, Dina, and the kids for Saturday night pizza and a movie. Andi accepted, since her plans with Jack had been cancelled.
Next, she walked across the street and down the block to the St. Gemma’s rectory. Saturday afternoon mass was hours away, so she hoped Father Riley had a few minutes to talk. She rang the rectory bell and within moments, he pulled open the door.
“Andi! Hello, nice to see you. Please, come in.”
“Hello, Father. I hope I’m not coming at a bad time.”
“Never a bad time. And while I’m thinking of it, how about you calling me Riley? We’re friends, right?”
Andi almost declined. He was a priest. A man of God. She should show some respect, some reverence. But they were friends and he was asking.
“It’s okay,” he assured her, apparently sensing her inner dilemma. “Priests do have friends, and we all call each other by our given names.”
Andi shot him a rueful smile. “Okay.”
He shut the door and beckoned her to follow him to the kitchen. “I’m brewing up dinner in a Crock-Pot,” he said. “Irish stew, the American way.”
“How’s that?” Andi asked, sniffing the air appreciatively.
“Beef instead of lamb. Never been able to stomach the taste of mutton.”
Andi made a face. “Me, either.”
“Can I get you a coffee? Or a Diet Coke or water or…?”
“No thanks, I’m good.”
“What brings you by?”
“Two things,” Andi said, slipping out of her jacket and into a chair at the kitchen table. “First, Jack had to cancel our date tonight
” —Father Riley arched a black eyebrow at her— “and invited me to lunch tomorrow. I took the liberty of asking him to join us, and I use the term ‘liberty’ loosely, since we’re having lunch here.”
“Fine by me,” the priest proclaimed. “The more the merrier.” He sat himself across from her. “Maybe I’ll save the stew for tomorrow and mix up some bread. By the time I finish the eleven o’clock, it’ll be risen enough to bake. Piping hot and fresh from the oven for lunch.”
“Don’t go to so much trouble!” Andi protested. “And what about your dinner?”
“I bought an entire roasted chicken from Costco last night. I’ll eat on that and some other leftovers that should be dealt with now rather than later when they go all green and fuzzy.”
Andi grinned.
“Now, what’s the second thing you’re here to talk about?”
She filled him in on her visit to the Hemmers and her “meeting” with Sherry. “Vaughn gave me permission to have you contact him. He’s in terrible need of some solace and he doesn’t know where or how to find it. I thought you might be the answer.” Andi studied her clasped hands for a moment. “He’s a lapsed Catholic,” she added for good measure.
“I’ve encountered a few of those lately,” Father Riley said with a laugh. “I’ll be happy to meet with him.”
Andi dug into the side pocket of her purse and withdrew a piece of paper with Vaughn’s contact info. She slid it across the table to the priest.
“You always come prepared, don’t you, Andi?”
“I try,” she replied modestly.
“Now tell me what Jack’s up to.”
Briefly, Andi explained the event that had called out the detective and most likely, her brother. Father Riley glanced at the clock on the wall and got up and turned on the radio to a local all-news station. It was two o’clock straight up and the broadcaster was giving an update on the breaking situation. Arsonists had set fire to the north building in a four-building apartment complex near the university. They were holding everyone hostage who occupied the gym facilities in the complex’s community center and some who had escaped the flames in their apartments had also been herded inside.