She wasn’t floating when she regained consciousness this time; she was falling, and it was terrifying. She was hurtling through the air as if she had wings but Ciardis knew there was nothing to halt her fall in the end. Nothing but darkness and air surrounded her.
Fear beat in her heart as she wondered if this was it. If this was how she was going to die. Stuck in between realms, unable to grasp reality, unable to land on her own two feet.
As she tried to shield her head, a futile gesture maybe but one that in the moment felt necessary, and slow her descent through this endless darkness, she thought she saw something strange.
A glimmer of light.
Maybe even a face.
Rejecting the darkness, she reached for that light. Anything that would cease this endless starless night.
When her hand reached for the light, her body followed, almost as if she controlled the journey she was hurtling on. Almost as if this was just in her imagination.
She’d been prepared for a battle of physical wills, mage against mage, even mortal against immortal. But no one had told her she would be fighting for her own mental sanity while doing it. Because although every second of this felt real, it also reminded her of the time that she couldn’t shake. Imprisoned by Maradian and going head-to-head against a simulacrum of Sebastian only to find out it wasn’t real.
But if this isn’t real, where am I? Ciardis managed to string together in a coherent thought.
Regardless of whether she thought it was a mirage, she had to survive in any way she could. She had to live. So she did what any sane person would do. She fought to live.
Before she could ponder her prison more than a few seconds, she wasn’t just drifting toward the light anymore. She was speeding toward it. When it enveloped her and she winked out of that existence and into a new one, she almost expected it.
And this time when she landed on her feet, it was with more than she’d had on before.
Far more.
Her cloak, pants, and tunic had disappeared.
In their place, a heavy gown of blue cloth, which weighed far more than she was used to. She looked down at what she was wearing and traced her hands through the fabric. Following the crinkle of the fabric and the gauze to a pendant that hung at her waist. Raising her eyebrow at the elaborate gold of the pendant against the bright blue of the full ballgown that she wore.
She took in the building she stood in silently.
Once more she was alone. But this time she was surrounded by extravagance.
It was a palace she wasn’t familiar with.
White-and-black-checkered marble spread out before her feet.
Soaring columns rose around the room on all four sides.
And three ornate chandeliers dropped down from the ceiling in gilt.
This has to be one of the imperial palaces, Ciardis thought silently.
One she hadn’t visited yet, perhaps?
One that wasn’t even in Sandrin?
Then the sound of angry voices interrupted her reverie and she recognized them once again. Looking ahead, she saw a door slightly ajar, and like a mouse heading toward a trap but seeing no way out, she walked forward wondering if this time the reality was in fact real. Was it a dream sequence or was it something else?
With no other way to find out, Ciardis stepped forward hesitantly—feeling the gown move with her in easy confidence and following the sounds of the voices to this new room. Just across the grand ballroom but just as distant as before when she had crossed the causeway, trying to find something real that just might not be there. What remained the same was her curiosity as to what was in store for her.
When she opened the door a crack and warm light spilled out, she felt heartened. A bit, at least. The voices didn’t stop, though. This time they kept rising higher and higher. While her eyes took time to adjust to the differences in setting between this room and the next, the people within she recognized instantly. To her consternation, Thanar and Sebastian stood bickering in a room. But they weren’t alone. Christian stood by their sides and none of them so much as noticed her.
So she watched as they argued, gestured, and swore at each other. Sebastian even carried a crystal goblet with some sort of liquid she didn’t recognize. She couldn’t tell what they were arguing about right away, but even from the doorway she could see they looked…different. Taller, perhaps? More distinguished?
Maybe it’s just the cut of the tailored cloth against their legs, she thought, a bit put off.
Why were they wearing such fripperies and finery in the midst of a mission?
Why was she, for that matter?
Grumbling at the weird dichotomy of clothing choice and setting, Ciardis picked up the trailing edges of her dress and stepped into the room. She was careful to keep a keen eye on her surroundings and look for any change in environment to show her what she was dealing with—a spell, a dream, a trap? Whatever it was it was all consuming and she didn’t like that one bit. There had to be something to give her a clue as to what was going on or at least hint where the darkness was going to come and when. But all she saw was a palace aglow with the soft lights of the wealthy and three men who had better things to do than stand around and argue if she had anything to say about it.
Not understanding how they could be so blind, to both her and the setting, Ciardis crossed her arms and cleared her throat loudly. As one they all stopped bickering. As the voices died down, recognition crossed their faces. But this time they didn’t look happy to see her. That was all right—she could well understand the feeling. Being caught in a dream-loop wasn’t precisely her idea of a great way to spend a productive bit of time either.
Christian raised his glass in surprise. “Ciardis, my… This is certainly a surprise. What are you doing here?”
Ciardis’s back went stiff with affront, but she kept her cool. Barely.
“What am I doing here?” she asked, exasperated as she hurried forward as fast as she could in the cumbersome dress. “I think the question is what are we all doing here? Especially you?”
Christian looked at her with polite interest then raised an eyebrow at Thanar. “Is this a joke?”
Ciardis scoffed, “The only joke here is whatever is happening to us.”
Sebastian raised his hand and looked at her with a strange gleam in his eye. “What do you think is happening to us?”
Ciardis crossed her arms as goose bumps rose on her flesh and said uncomfortably, “Well, I don’t know what it is, but it doesn’t seem real. One minute we’re out in the plains trying to travel between realms with the kith and the next minute—”
She didn’t have time to finish before Sebastian exclaimed in a shout, “I told you!”
“We’ve been telling you,” Thanar interrupted in a snide tone.
“Telling him what?” Ciardis asked exasperated at being cut off.
“That something strange is happening to us,” Sebastian said, clearly disgruntled his hands tensed and he bunched his fists. “I don’t know why, but no one else realizes it.”
Christian said, “Including me.”
There was a bit of laughter in his voice but his eyes were getting a little desperate as well, Ciardis noticed.
Frowning, Ciardis looked around as she said, “Who else is here? The ballroom I just left was completely empty.”
“Hundreds of servants,” said Thanar dryly. “All of who are convinced that somehow we’re more than soul-bound, we’re—”
“Don’t say it!” Sebastian said while rubbing his temple in irritation. “I’ve got enough headaches as it is.”
Ciardis looked back and forth in confusion.
Finally Christian couldn’t keep his cool demeanor anymore and finally said, “Look, I don’t know what you lot think is going on. But it’s clear you’re not well.”
He reached out to Ciardis and she backed away hurriedly in confusion, trying to keep an eye on where she was going. She didn’t want to fall into a well of darkness…again.
Ciardis felt the sting in the bite of his words, as if he’d slapped her.
“I’m not crazy,” she said quietly while staring him down.
“Well you’re certainly acting like it,” the koreische said in a sullen voice that he didn’t bother to hide.
He didn’t see the danger he was in as he said it, though.
Sebastian’s hand was tense and on his blade, but all the new emperor said was, “I’d watch yourself, Christian.”
“Yes, you’re being rude,” Thanar said in a voice that was just on the edge of delving into dangerous.
Christian pouted and threw up his hands. “Well, what am I to do with you lot? You all insist you’re someone else.”
“Not someone else,” countered Thanar. “From somewhere else. Some other place.”
“Some other time,” Sebastian said in a whisper of a voice she almost didn’t catch.
“And what’s wrong with this time?” Christian complained while swirling his drink.
“Nothing,” Ciardis said, interceding. “Except it’s not ours.”
“Well, I think you’ve all gone off the deep end,” Christian said. “Not just you, by the way, Ciardis.”
Before she could respond, she heard Sebastian ask softly, “Did I ask for your opinion koreische?"
Ciardis jumped at the bite in his tone and Christian stiffened.
Slowly he said in a beseeching voice, “Your Imperial Majesty, I understand you’ve been under stress lately, but this seems no time for games. By you or their Imperial Majesties. Especially Her Majesty in her condition.”
Sebastian frowned.
Ciardis thought, Did he just call me an imperial majesty?
She wasn’t quite sure and outwardly she was blinking rapidly. This was all happening too fast. Far too fast.
Ciardis said slowly, “Okay, Christian. You obviously know who we are.”
“Of course,” he said in an affronted voice. “I’ve known you all for more than a decade, after all.”
Ciardis’s brows rose into her hairline at that comment. They’d only met two years ago, if that.
But she held up a cautioning hand as Thanar and Sebastian prepared to intercede.
“Then who are we?” Ciardis asked quietly.
Christian laughed and looked between the three of them uncomfortably. “Is this a joke? One I’m not in on?”
Ciardis shook her head. “We’re just trying to find out what’s changed…what happened to the plan that we’ve deviated so far from our pursued path.”
Christian looked at her quizzically. He was standing directly in front of her so Thanar and Sebastian could only see her head and shoulders, but he could see the full gown.
“All right,” Christian said, putting down his drink. “Let’s play a game of my own design. It’s called What Do You Remember Last and What’s Changed Since Then?”
Ciardis frowned but she saw no harm in this, if it got him to believe them.
“All right,” she said, disgruntled. “How do I play?”
Christian nodded. “Well, have you looked at yourself lately?”
Ciardis froze. “What do you mean?”
He gave her a smile as he put gentle hands on her shoulders. “If you won’t mind my forwardness, take a look.”
He turned her around and gave her a soft push. Toward a full-length mirror that had suddenly appeared in the middle of the floor. It stood at least eight feet tall, but Ciardis only needed a bit over five to see what she needed to. Herself standing side-by-side with Thanar and Sebastian as Christian faded into the background, but it wasn’t herself that she remembered. This person was different.
Older.
Wiser.
With fine lines under her eyes and slight imperfections along her neck. Oh, she still looked beautiful, but she also looked worlds different from the young woman she had left behind. Thanar and Sebastian too had changed. Thanar had a distinguished streak of silver in his hair that ran from his temple to the back of his head and Sebastian had wrinkles on his brow that were carefully disguised with a circlet around his forehead and welcoming wisdom in his eyes.
Ciardis took a deep, sharp breath as she brought a shaking hand to her face.
“What’s happened to me?” she had time to ask before the mirror’s glass began to ripple. The ripple grew wider until it was a whirlpool of black beckoning and she couldn’t turn away. She was pulled down, deep into the currents once more, to face the blackness she couldn’t escape.
24
When she woke standing this time, she wasn’t curious. She was just enraged. Practically growling to herself, Ciardis ran outside without stopping. This time she was in a forest clearing. But one thing remained the same, she realized as she looked down at the periwinkle-blue ballgown that she was still wearing.
“Well, this sucks,” Ciardis snapped as she dropped the bunched gown from her hands. “What am I supposed to do stranded in the middle of a forest in a ballgown?”
The question at the end was screamed, but it was highly rhetorical. Still she hoped someone heard her, and she tapped her foot impatient as she waited for the daemoni prince and new emperor to appear as they always did.
She was getting heartily tired of these endless scenes, but there was nothing she could do to stop them either, it seemed. At least not until she figured what they were.
Swallowing sharply again, Ciardis got her bearings.
She was outside in a clearing and the sun was high in the sky. That was about all she knew. Picking a direction, north, she began walking—yelling all the way. Hoping to rouse someone—anyone—to meet her and decipher this increasingly exasperating puzzle she’d found herself in.
Quite soon she heard footfalls in the forest. She was pretty sure it was Thanar. Judging by the colorful curses that came along with the snaps of branches and grumbling, Sebastian was with him.
Moving as carefully as she could, she called out and moved toward them. She couldn’t rush as she would have before, branches, trees and rocks caught on the dratted dress at every turn, but still she kept going.
It was only minutes before she could see them clearly in the distance, and they—Sebastian at least—having the capabilities to move faster than her, rushed to her side. Thanar’s wings were a bit of an inconvenience in the densely wooded forest, but he was right behind the new emperor with a relieved smile.
“Tell me you know what’s going on,” Ciardis said as soon as they reached her.
“We think we have an idea,” Sebastian assured her.
“What?” Ciardis said as she spread her hands in a plea. “I’ve been thinking it was a dream. What have you two come up with? And why is it happening this way—you two traveling together, me apart?”
Sebastian and Thanar exchanged quick glances and the daemoni prince ceded the floor to Sebastian once more.
“We don’t know the answer precisely, especially to the second question,” he said slowly.
“But—” Ciardis said as her voice prompted him and her eyes devoured his for clues.
“But,” Sebastian said with a straightforward look, “I don’t think it’s a dream.”
Ciardis looked back and forth between them. “Well, I’m dying to know what it could be. Spill it.”
The new emperor nodded and gave a nervous laugh. “You know this would almost be easier if it was a dream.”
“Sebastian,” Ciardis said in a fierce growl as she stepped forward with her hands clenching into fists involuntarily. She was very tired and she wanted to punch someone and she didn’t want it to be him, but better his soft flesh on her fists versus the hard bark of trees.
At least that was how her mind rationalized her pending actions at the moment.
Sebastian, for his part, must have read the anxiety on her face correctly because he quickly said, “What I think it is, is reality.”
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br /> “Reality?” Ciardis said slowly as disappointment overwhelmed her. She couldn’t help it. She was hoping for a real theory.
“Hear us out,” Thanar said urgently.
“I’m listening,” Ciardis said flatly as she motioned for them to continue. She was hoping against hope that they had actual evidence to back this up, otherwise she feared they would go insane trapped in an endless loop of endless scenarios and no way to get back to where they belonged.
Patiently, Thanar said, “We’ve been traveling but not between dreams. Instead we’ve been going between realities.”
“Realities of what?” Ciardis asked.
Thanar and Sebastian exchanged slow glances but with a shrug Sebastian indicated that Thanar could proceed on.
“Our own realities,” Thanar finally said.
Ciardis tilted her head slowly, trying to see what he meant but not exactly understanding.
Frustrated, Sebastian just uttered it out in a fast sentence, “We think we’ve been traveling in time to different versions of ourselves.”
Ciardis blinked and then said, “So when we were just in the ballroom, you remember that, right?”
“Yes,” both males said at once.
Thanar chimed in, “We think that was the future.”
Ciardis wanted to deny it but she couldn’t get her face and theirs, as they looked in the mirror, out of her mind.
“It makes sense,” she said slowly as she put her finger to her lip and thought. Then she glanced down at her dress and gasped.
Quickly she asked, “Do I still look the same?”
He knew exactly what she was referring to; she didn’t even have to explain.
“No,” Sebastian assured her. “You’re back to normal.”
“You mean I’m not old and wrinkled anymore,” she said wryly.
Sebastian’s eyes darkened and he strode forward to her quickly while taking her face in his hands. “You were beautiful,” he said passionately. “Don’t you forget that and I’d be honored to be the man standing by your side in those future years.”
Ciardis felt an embarrassing flush color her cheeks but she had to admit he had affected her.
Thanar cleared his throat significantly as he said with a minor glare, “I’m still here, you know.”
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