by Nora Roberts
“What neighborhood?”
“Brooklyn. My parents still live there. Same house.” With a shake of his head, he drew back. He could make her out now in the dark, could see the way her eyes were smiling at him. “How come we’re talking about me, when I asked you about your nose?”
“I like hearing it.”
“There was a fistfight,” he said, prompting her.
Bess sighed. “One of those girl cliques,” she began. “You know the type. The cool kids, all hair and teeth and attitude. I was the nerd they liked to pick on.”
“You were never a nerd.”
“I was a champion nerd. Gawky, top of the class academically, socially inept.”
“You?”
There was such pure disbelief in the tone, she laughed. “Which of those descriptions don’t you buy, Alexi?”
He considered a moment. “Any of them.”
“I guess I’m two-thirds flattered and one-third insulted. I was tall for my age and skinny. A very late bloomer in the bosom and hips department.”
“You might have bloomed slow,” he began, proving his point with a sweep of his hand, “but you bloomed very well.”
“Thank you. My mind, however, had developed quite nicely. Straight A’s.”
“No kidding?” He grinned in the dark. “And you were the kid who always trashed the grading curve for the rest of us.”
“That’s the idea. Added to that, I was more comfortable with a book, or thinking, than I was tittering. Young girls do a lot of tittering. Because I was hardheaded, I automatically took a dislike to anything that was popular or fashionable at the time. As a result, I took a lot of flak. Bess the Mess, that sort of thing.”
She paused long enough to shift some pillows. “Anyway, we had this history exam coming up. One of the cool kids—her name was Dawn Gallagher… Heart-shaped face, perfect features, long, flowing blond hair. You get the picture.”
“Prom-queen type.”
“Exactly. She was flunking big-time and wanted me to let her copy from my paper. She’d made my life adolescent hell, and she figured if she was nice to me for a couple of days, let me stand within five feet of her, maybe sit at the same lunch table, I’d be so grateful, I’d let her.”
“But you hung tough.”
“I don’t cheat for anybody. The upshot was, she flunked the exam, and her parents were called to the school for a conference. Dawn retaliated by pinching me whenever I got too close, getting into my room and breaking my things, stealing my books. Small-time terrorism. One day on the basketball court—”
“You shot hoop?”
“Team captain. I was an athletic nerd,” she explained. “Anyway, she tripped me. If that wasn’t bad enough, she had a few friends on the other team. They elbowed the hell out of me during the game. I had bruises everywhere.”
An immediate flood of resentment had him tightening his hold. “Little bitches.”
Pleased with the support, she cuddled closer. “It was an epiphany for me. Suddenly I saw that pacifism, while morally sound, could get you trampled into dust. I waited for Dawn outside the science lab one day. We started out with words—I’ve always been good at them. We progressed to pushing and shoving and drew quite a crowd. She swung first. I didn’t expect it, and she bopped me right on the nose. Let me tell you, Detective, pain can be a great motivator.”
“Separates the nerds from the toughs.”
“You got it. It took three of them to pull me off her, but before they did, I’d blackened her baby-blues, split her Cupid’s-bow mouth and loosened several of her pearly-whites.”
“Good for you, McNee.”
“It was good,” she said with a sigh. “In fact, it felt so good, I’ve had to be careful with my temper ever since. I didn’t just want to hurt her, you see. I wanted to mangle her.”
He took her hand, curled it into a fist and raised it to his lips. “I’ll have to watch my step. Did you take much heat?”
“We both got suspended. My parents were appalled and embarrassed enough by my behavior to cancel my summer plans and switch me to another school.”
“But—” He cut himself off. Not every family was as supportive as his.
“It was the best thing that could have happened to me,” she told him. “I started off with a clean slate. I was still ugly, but I knew how to handle myself.”
Even if she didn’t realize she was carrying around some emotional scars, he did. He rolled over her, cupping her face in his hands. “Listen, McNee, you’re beautiful.”
Amused, she grinned. “Sure I am.”
He didn’t smile. In the dim light, his eyes were very intense. “I said, you’re beautiful. Why else haven’t I been able to get you out of my mind since the first time I saw you?”
“Intriguing,” she corrected. “Unusual.”
“Gorgeous,” he murmured, and watched her blink in surprise. “Ivory for skin, fire for hair, jade for eyes. And these.” He traced a fingertip over a sprinkling of freckles. “Gold dust.”
“You’ve already gotten me into bed, Alexi,” she said lightly. She had to speak lightly, or she’d humiliate herself with tears. “But the flattery is appreciated.” With a grin, she linked her arms around his neck. “But haven’t you heard the one about actions speaking louder than words?”
He arched a brow. “If you insist.”
“Oh, I do,” she murmured, as his mouth came down to hers. “I absolutely do.”
With her bag slapping hard against her hip, Bess raced into the office, ten minutes late. “I have a good excuse,” she called to Lori.
Her perpetually prompt partner was standing by the coffeepot, her back to the door. “It’s all right. I’m running behind myself.”
“You?” Bess dropped her bag, stretched her shoulders. She might have skipped her workout that morning, but she was feeling as limber as a snake. “What is it, a national holiday?” She crossed to the pot herself, chattering as she poured a cup. “Well, I’d save my excuse for another time, but I can hardly stand not to tell you.” She lifted shining eyes, then stopped after one look at Lori’s face. “What is it, honey?”
“It’s nothing.” After giving herself a shake, Lori sipped her coffee. “It’s just that Steven caught me on my way in.”
“Did he say something to upset you?”
“He said he loved me.” She pressed her lips together. She’d be damned if she’d cry over him again. “The sonofabitch.”
“Let’s sit down.” Bess curled a comforting arm around Lori’s shoulder. “You might not want to hear this, but I think he means it.”
“He doesn’t even know what it means.” Furious, Lori dashed one rogue tear away. “I’m not going to let him do this to me again. Get me believing, get me all churned up, just so he can back off when things get serious. Let him have the fantasy life. I’ve got reality.”
Because she’d been waiting for an opening just like this, Bess crouched down in front of her. “Which is?”
“A job, paying your bills—”
“Boring,” Bess finished, and Lori’s brimming eyes flashed.
“Then I’m boring.”
“No, you’re not.” Sighing, Bess set her coffee aside and took one of Lori’s hands. “Maybe you’re afraid to take risks, but that doesn’t make you boring. And I know you want more out of life than a job and a good credit rating.”
“What’s wrong with those things?”
“Nothing, as long as that’s not all you have. Lori, I know you’re still in love with him.”
“That’s my problem.”
“His, too. He’s miserable without you.”
Suddenly weary, Lori rubbed her fingers between her brows. “He’s the one who broke things off. He said he didn’t want complications, a long-term commitment.”
“He was wrong. I’d bet the bank that he knows he’s wrong. Why don’t you just talk to him?”
“I don’t know if I can.” She squeezed her eyes tight. “It hurts.”
An odd
light flickered in Bess’s eyes. “Is that how you know it’s real? When it hurts?”
“It’s one of the top symptoms.” She opened her eyes again. This time, there was a trace of hope mixed with the tears. “Do you really think he’s unhappy?”
“I know he is. Just talk, Lori. Hear each other out.”
“Maybe.” She gave Bess’s hand a quick squeeze, then reached for her coffee again. “I wasn’t going to dump this on you first thing.”
“What are pals for?”
“Well, pal, we’d better get to work, or a lot of people will be out of a job.”
“Great. I’ve been playing with the dialogue in that scene between Storm and Jade. We want to bump up the sexual tension.”
Lori was already nodding and booting up the computer. “You’re the dialogue champ,” she began, then glanced up. “So why were you late?”
“It’s not important. We’ve got them running into each other at the station house. The long look first, then—”
“Bess, you’re only making me more curious. Get it out of the way, or I won’t be able to work.”
“Okay.” She was all but bursting to tell, in any case. “I was with Alexi.”
“I thought that was yesterday.”
“It was.” Bess’s smile spread. “And last night. And this morning. Oh, Lori, it’s incredible. I’ve never felt this way about anyone.”
“Right.” She started to pick up her reading glasses, then looked up again. For a moment, she did nothing but study Bess’s face. “Say that again.”
“I’ve never felt this way about anyone.”
“Good grief.” On a quick huff of breath, Lori sat back. “I think you mean it.”
“It’s different.” With a half laugh, Bess pressed a hand to her cheek. “It’s scary, and it hurts, and sometimes I look at him and I can’t even breathe. I’m so afraid he might take a good look at me and realize his mistake.” She let her hand drop away. “It’s supposed to be easy.”
“No.” Slowly Lori shook her head. “That was always your mistake. It’s supposed to be hard, and scary and real.”
“There’s this clutching around my heart.”
“Yeah.”
“And…and…” Frustrated, Bess turned, scooting around a chair so that she could pace the length of the table. “And my stomach’s all tied up in knots one minute. The next I feel so happy I can hardly bear it. When we were together last night…” No way to describe it, she thought. No possible way. “Lori, I swear, no one’s ever made me feel like that. And this morning, when I woke up beside him, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.”
Lori rose, held out a hand. “Congratulations, McNee. You’ve finally made it.”
“Looks that way.” With a laugh, she threw her arms around Lori and squeezed. “Why didn’t you ever tell me how it feels?”
“It’s something you have to experience firsthand. How about him?”
“He loves me.” She felt foolish and weepy. Digging through her bag she found a tattered tissue. “He told me. He looked at me, and he told me. But—”
“Oh-oh.”
“He doesn’t want me to tell him how I feel.” Hissing a breath through her teeth, she pressed a hand to her stomach. “Oh, God, it hurts. It hurts everywhere when I realize he doesn’t trust me enough. He thinks it’s like all the other times. Why shouldn’t he? But I want him to know it’s not—and I don’t know how.”
“He only has to look at you.”
“It’s not enough.” Calmer now, Bess blew her nose. “Everything’s different this time. I guess I have to prove myself. I do love him, Lori.”
“I can see that. I wasn’t sure I ever would.” Touched, she lifted a hand to Bess’s hair. “You could take your own advice, and talk to him.”
“We have talked. But he doesn’t want to hear this, at least not yet. He wants things to stay as they are.”
Lori lifted her brows. “What do you want?”
“For him to be happy.” She chuckled and stuffed the mangled tissue back in her purse. “That makes me sound like a wimp. You know I’m not.”
“Who knows you better? It only makes you sound like a woman in the first dizzy stages of love.”
Bess gave her a watery smile. “Does it get worse or better?”
“Both.”
“That’s good news. Well, while it’s getting worse and better, I’ll have time to show him how I feel.” She picked up her coffee, then set it aside again. “Lori, there’s one more thing.”
“What could be bigger?” Lori demanded.
“Alexi wants me to have dinner with his family on Sunday.”
After a quick gurgle of laughter, Lori’s eyes widened. “He’s taking you home to Mother?”
“And Father,” Bess put in. “And brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews. A couple times a month they have a big family dinner on Sunday.”
“Obviously the man is crazy about you.”
“He is. I know he is.” Then she shut her eyes and dropped into a chair. “His family is enormously important to him. You can hear it every time he mentions one of them.” She grabbed another tissue and began to tear it to shreds. “I want to meet them. Really. But what if they don’t like me?”
“You have got it bad. Take it from me, you just be the Bess McNee we all know and love, and they’ll be crazy about you, too.”
“But what if—”
“What if you pull yourself together?” This time Lori picked up her glasses, perched them on her nose. “Put some of this angst into Storm and Jade’s heartbreak. Millions of viewers will thank you.”
After a deep breath, Bess nodded. “Okay, okay. That might work. And if we don’t get the morning session out of the way, we won’t be ready when Rosalie comes in at noon for a consulting session.”
“Your deal, sister.” Frowning, Lori gestured with a pencil. “That particular lady makes me nervous.”
“Don’t worry about Rosalie. I know what I’m doing.”
“How many times have I heard that?”
But Bess only smiled and let her mind drift. “Okay. Storm and Jade.” She closed her eyes, envisioned the scene. “So, they run into each other at the station…”
CHAPTER NINE
“And then,” Bess continued as she zipped through traffic, “Jade turns back, devastated, and says, ‘But what you want isn’t always what you need.’ Music swells, fade out.”
“It’s not that I’m not fascinated by the twists and turns of those people in Holbrook…”
“Millbrook.”
“Right.” Alex winced as she cut off a sedan. “I just wish you’d watch the road. It would be really embarrassing if you got a ticket while I was in the car with you.”
“I’m not speeding.” Frowning, she glanced down at her speedometer. “Hardly.”
She handled the five-speed like a seasoned veteran of the Indianapolis 500, Alex thought. And at the moment she was treating the other, innocent drivers on the road like competitors. “Maybe you could find a home in one lane and stay there.”
“Killjoy.” But she did as he asked. “I hardly ever get to drive. I love it.”
He had to smile. The wind whipping in through the open sunroof was blowing her hair everywhere. “I’d never have guessed.”
“The last time I had a chance was when L.D. and I went to some fancy do on Long Island.” She checked her mirror and, unable to resist, shot into the next lane. “One trip with me and he insisted on taking his car and driver every damn place.” She sent Alex a smile, then sobered instantly when she saw his expression. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For bringing him up.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
No, he hadn’t said anything, she admitted. A man didn’t have to say a word when his eyes could go that cold. Her hands tightened on the wheel. Now she stared straight ahead.
“He was a friend, Alexi. That’s all he ever was. I didn’t…” She took a long, careful breath. “I never
slept with him.”
“I didn’t ask one way or the other,” he said coolly.
“Maybe you should. One minute you want to know all there is about me, and the next you don’t. I think—”
“I think you’re driving too fast again.” He reached over and brushed his knuckles down her cheek. “And you should relax. Okay?”
“Okay.” But her fingers remained tight on the wheel. “I’d like—sometime—for us to talk about it.”
“Sometime.” Damn it, didn’t she realize he didn’t want to talk about the other men who’d been part of her life? He didn’t want to think about them. Especially now, now that he was in love, and he knew what it was like to be with her.
He knew the sound of that little sigh she made when she turned toward him in the night. The way her eyes stayed unfocused and heavy, long after she awakened in the morning. He knew she liked her showers too hot and too long. And that she smelled so good because she rubbed some fragrant cream all over before she’d even dried off.
She was always losing things. An earring, a scribbled note, money. She never counted her change, and she always overtipped.
He knew those things, was coming to treasure them. Why should he talk about other men who had come to know them?
“Turn here.”
“Hmm?”
“I said turn…” He trailed off with a huff of breath as she breezed by the exit. “Okay, take the next one, and we’ll double back.”
“The next what?”
“Turn, McNee.” He reached over and gave her hair a quick tug. “Take the next turn, which means you have to get over in the right lane.”
“Oh.” She did, punching the gas and handily cutting off another car. At the rude blast of its horn, she only lifted a hand and waved.
“He wasn’t being friendly,” Alex pointed out—after he took his hands from in front of his eyes.
“I know. But that’s no reason for me to be rude, too.”
“Some people consider cutting off another driver rude.”