by Paige Notaro
"I got lucky," I glanced up at Andre. "I didn't say thank you."
"You did." he said. "And you didn’t have to. Getting you out of there was the least I could do. "
His hands still sat clenched, and he paced by the window. I wondered what else he wanted to do. It was me in trouble here, but I was starting to worry that he was going to go bring some on himself.
"So you are American yes?' Maria asked. "Do you have papers?"
“A passport? No."
"Hmm." She raised her head. "Hey papi, will they let her cross without papers?"
Dennis sat down on a couch beside us. "Baby, why would your brother have a coyote sneak him into the US if they would just let him walk across Paso del Norte."
"Alright, pendejo, she's a citizen ok? There's got to be a way for your gringo clients to crawl back once they lose their wallets at a whorehouse."
"They need to go to the embassy and get a passport card. It's a pain and it takes a few days. Georgia, you got any ID at all? A license? Social Security?"
I shook my head. "Mr. Tarly was saying he was going to get them for me. I don't think he ever planned to though."
"No, I would guess not."
Andre came back and dropped next to Maria on the coffee table. "Don’t worry. We're gonna get you out of here. Yo, Dennis, there's gotta be a special case right? Like if a US citizen got robbed or worse, they're not just gonna turn them away when they're low."
Dennis tapped at his chin. "Well, she is pretty white. That's gonna help."
Andre rolled his eyes as Dennis whipped out his phone and fiddled on it. "Yeah, I mean she can go. They'll hold her for a bit till they can verify like a birth certificate and check her details and stuff, but they'll let her in eventually."
Maria beamed at me. Andre nodded and said, "Well alright, that's good."
"They’ll hold me?" I said. “What does that mean?"
"Shouldn't be for long. They'll contact your folks maybe and get them to confirm it's you."
I imagined the phone ringing and Father picking it up. He'd damned me to burn in hell the night before I ran away. He might have planned on sending me there himself. My suffering would only bring him happiness. "What if that doesn't happen?"
Andre looked at me funny. "Are you an orphan?"
"No, it's just... it's complicated."
"If they can't verify via birth records and family..." Dennis tapped at his phone. "They have other ways. It may just take a bit longer."
"Until then?" I asked.
"They'll hold you. They have a facility. It's not quite a jail, but it's, uh..."
I shot out of the chair. I wasn't going to be locked up again. Three weeks of being alone with a monster in a desert and now they wanted me to go live in a cell?
They all looked at me like I was some wild animal. The room didn’t feel so big anymore. It was smaller than the safehouse and at least that was right on the ground. Now I was trapped all the way up here. I needed to get somewhere open where no one could lock me up again.
"It's ok, thanks," I said, headed for the hallway. "I'll figure out another way."
"Whoa, whoa," Andre said, and I heard him rise and Dennis asking what he had said wrong, but I just jammed the elevator button. The doors chimed open in an instant, and I rushed in, but Andre slipped in behind like a whisper.
"No one's making you do anything," he said, blocking the panel. "He was just telling it like it is."
"I am not going to be held anywhere.” I tried to squeeze past and hit the lobby button, but I may as well have been trying to walk through stone.
"Trust me," he said. "I know the feeling of having no good options. Can I show you something?”
I gave up and peered up his chest at him. The plain look on his face calmed me down.
"Fine."
He swiped his card and hit a button. We sped up one level and the doors opened onto a wailing gust of wind. We were on the roof.
Andre took my hand and led me across the gravel. A knee-height rail was all that guarded the edge, and we walked right up. The city bloomed on all sides around me like a wilted flower.
"This is where I come when I want to feel free," Andre said, spreading his arms like wings.
I raised my hands and felt the cooler air surge over it. If I raised them as high as he did, I might just be carried off.
Andre swept his gaze around like a king surveying his kingdom. This did seem like a throne. There were no buildings taller nearby, though I could see a patch of them some bit away on the other side.
"This city’s spread so far out,” I said.
"It is, but that’s not Juarez you’re looking at now. That bit over there is El Paso, Texas."
I balked. "That’s the US? We're that close?"
"We're that close."
El Paso, the place where my first run with freedom had come to a dark end. Even ignoring the immigration cells in between, crossing over to that city didn’t seem so appealing.
"Doing ok?" Andre asked.
"Yeah," I said. "I like seeing how close we are, but I can’t go back."
"That’s fine. I’m glad you’re not rushing off."
I nodded, but then realized what he’d said didn’t sound great. He didn’t want me leaving. I frowned at him, but his eyes were still fixed on the US side. I followed them to where a giant outline of a star shone somewhere next to the city.
“What’s that?” I asked.
“The blue star of El Paso.”
It didn’t look very pretty, not compared to the stars peppering the night sky themselves. I had no idea what he liked about it, but watching him shut down my worries about him. I might not know a lot about Andre, but at least he wasn’t pretending to be anyone else.
"You're American, right?” I said. “Why do you live here?"
"Let’s just say things weren’t so great for me back stateside."
That feeling I could understand, not that it made sense. He was strong enough to threaten criminals. What would chase a man like that into this dark city?
Andre grinned down, his teeth shining against his dark features. He must have seen my thoughts written on my face. "Don’t worry. All I’m saying is that you got company."
Not just him, I remembered. I thought of Maria’s warmth. She wouldn’t hang out with these two guys if they weren’t worth her trust.
"So now what?" I said.
"Now, we go get you some rest."
"You really sure I can stay here?" I asked. "You've already done so much."
"All I know is it's not ok to kick you out in this town."
I snorted. He took my hand in his without even asking. We went off the roof and back to his room.
Maria and Dennis framed the edges of the hallway as the doors chimed open.
"Everything copacetic?" Dennis asked.
"Are you ok?" Maria worried.
A glow settled in me at the sight of all that concern. "I'm not sure what copacetic means," I said. "But I think the answer is yes to both questions."
"Perfect," Dennis said. "Ready to go babe?"
"You think we are going out tonight?"
Dennis sighed. “Fine, I’ll get the takeout menus.”
"You hungry?" Andre asked, leading me past them.
I should be but I wasn't. My legs felt sluggish, my arms weak. It was like I had used up all my strength for the day already. I barely had enough to shake my head.
"Not surprised," he said. "Here, let me show you to your bed."
We turned in past the kitchen, went down a hall and stopped in front of an open door. Andre flicked on the lights and I sighed at the sheer beauty of the sight. A vast white bed filled most of the room. The surface almost glimmered under the light above, like it was made from silk. It might have been.
Andre sat me down and I sank into it like water.
"This bed is amazing," I said.
"I think so too," Andre said. "Had a lot of good dreams here. You'll like it."
"Oh, it's yours..."
>
"Don't worry," he said. "Easy fight today for me. You need it way more than I do.”
I remember the sight of his face jerking from that punch. Against his dark skin I couldn't see any bruises, but I could see the sharp red line from the blade on his cheek. This was the man from the ring, there was no doubt about it.
I’d been rescued by the Black Death. The idea made me giggle.
He joined in. "What?"
"It’s stupid. I’m just feeling silly."
“Nothing wrong with letting the stress out.”
“Yeah, there’s room to set it free now.”
"Good. That's a start." His hand passed gently along my back. "Get some rest. That'll take you the next step of the way. If you need anything we'll all be right out here."
He rose and left the room, shutting the door on the way behind. I walked around, made out the vast closet and the bathroom then washed my face quickly. The gleaming shower was a thing of beauty but I was afraid Andre might just find me drowned in it tomorrow if tried using it now. I shut the light and sank into the bed.
My brain dropped quickly into a state between sleep and dreams. I saw Andre gleaming in the spotlights, grinning something fierce, his fist hitting Mr. Tarly in his puffy red face. Then Mr. Tarly faded away altogether and only Andre remained: fighting, moving, protecting me under a cone of light from the darkness itself.
My mind faded out with a wink, but he followed me into my dreams.
CHAPTER TEN
Georgia
I woke up surrounded in light. For a horrible moment, I panicked that I was back in the desert, but I shot up and saw the massive windows of the hotel room and that calmed me down. I peeked under the sheer curtain and saw the city crawling below, slow and peaceful and silent. The sun kept me from looking too far into the desert which had once held me.
A kit had been laid out in the bathroom and I washed up and went outside. The hall to the kitchen rang with voices, and I breathed in the unaccented English like a sweet aroma. The earthy smell of coffee joined in as I walked down the hall.
"So?" Andre was saying.
"So, no, I'm not going to get you a gun," Dennis said.
"Just give me yours. What’s the matter - is it registered?"
“You’re not getting any guns. I don't want you to be a black stereotype."
"I'm trying to be a Juarez stereotype."
"You're really not making a strong case."
"Fine, I'll get one myself. I'll get a freaking AK, how's that for your stereotypes?"
"Moving up the food chain to African warlord, maybe. Still a stereotype."
I stepped into the kitchen and saw the two glaring at each other across the kitchen table. Their plates sat empty, but a steaming pile of scrambled eggs and sausage lay untouched in the middle.
"That smells amazing," I said.
They both snapped to me. Dennis tossed a nod my way, but Andre’s gaze held to me, gently probing. I had to look away. I wished I’d spent more time cleaning my look instead of just tumbling out here like a little kid. But the scent of all those tasty calories shushed my embarrassment. I went over to an empty seat at the table. "Can I have some?" I asked.
"No," Andre said, shoving the stack towards me. "You can have it all."
"Man, Maria..." Dennis said.
"What do you think she'd say if she were here?"
Dennis rolled his eyes and stumbled off to the kitchen and gathered stuff to cook from the fridge.
"I'm not that hungry," I lied. "I wasn't really starved or anything."
"Not physically maybe," Andre said, "But mental stress takes its toll."
"He's right," Dennis said jumbling pans. "He's always right when it comes to nutrition. Just don't come to him when you get sick. The Black Death ain't no help with that."
"Eat as much as you can." Andre looked on with such a serious look, that I dug in like he was my coach.
Whatever conversation I had interrupted stayed off for good as I stuffed my face. Andre sipped coffee, Dennis cooked and I tore through the pile in minutes.
"You want more?" Dennis asked from over a sizzling pan.
I shook my head and wiped my mouth clean. "No, thank you."
"So what do you want?" Andre asked. "Are you ready to go over?"
The morning calm rushed out of my body.
"Not if it means a cell. I really really don't want to do that ever," I said. "Isn't there another way?"
"It’s slower, but, we can get your paperwork at the consulate," Dennis said. "I can look into it for you."
I nodded. "Yeah, that'd be better, if you can. I mean I don't want to be a burden on you."
“Not a problem. I’ve dealt with that sort of thing for clients before. This is probably a good learning experience, actually.”
I nodded. He was nice. He didn’t have Maria’s warmth, but he had her heart. “I hope it’s not too long. I don’t want to use up your hospitality.”
Andre said. "Believe it or not, breakfast isn't the biggest living expense I have."
"But I was in your bed last night." The words hit my ears and I looked away to hide the blush.
“That’s why I have a guest bedroom complete with a sweet guest bed. Dennis demanded it seeing as he practically lives there.”
"That's no problem either," Dennis chirped up. "Maria and I usually crash at her place anyway."
"Oh," I said. "Ok.”
Andre gave me that stern but caring look again. I could have asked for his car and he would just hand over the keys. What reason did he have to offer so much to a girl like me?
Yeah, Georgia, what reason?
No, he didn’t want anything, definitely not my body. Besides all three of these people couldn’t be bad right? It was obvious they all cared about each other. The people who had abused me had always driven everyone else away.
"It’s really nice with all of you here," I said, clearing my head. "I’ve been alone for so long."
“Alone?” Andre said.
“Well, most of the time I was anyway. And when I wasn’t, well, it was nothing like this. I didn’t have anyone as close as you guys are to each other.”
"Yeah, well, family’s family," Andre said.
"Is Maria related to you?" I hadn’t seen much resemblance last night, but I hadn’t exactly been thinking straight.
"Guess again," Dennis said.
I looked from one face to the other - the tan white one to the rich dark one. Both were curled into smiles. Andre had mentioned his brother, the one who knew how to get me back across…and Dennis had knowledge – but how did this make any sense?
"You’re brothers," I said. "I don’t get it."
"You ever heard of brother-from-another-mother?" Andre asked.
"You’re step-brothers?"
"Ok, brother-from-another-mother-and-father."
"Now, I'm lost."
"We had the same foster mother," Dennis said.
"You're adopted?"
Andre nodded. "Me first, then Dennis."
"He's kinda my big bro," Dennis said. "Literally, too, but I'm 3 years older."
I giggled. The first place in my life that had felt warm and welcome and it wasn’t even in the home of blood relations.
"Was it that funny?" Dennis asked, though he looked pleased.
"No I'm just thinking how you guys are closer than my own family."
"Oh that," Dennis said. "Well it's easier when you get to pick and choose your family."
"Where’s your mother?" I asked, immediately regretting it as their faces went dark.
"Cancer," Andre said. "She raises two boys who everyone else turned away, and that's her reward."
"I'm sorry."
His eyes were cast down at the table and even Dennis had nothing to say. I wished I had any words for them but nothing felt right on my lips.
"It's fine," Andre said eventually. "She’d just be glad we stuck together. You know, that we help each other out. For example, if one of us needs help acquiring somethi
ng."
His gaze shifted to Dennis.
"I am helping you out, bro," Dennis said.
"I can't just let this shit go," Andre said.
"What?" I dared to ask.
He looked at me and his eyes tightened in pain. I was afraid it was the sight of me, but then I realized it was what I represented. He was still angry for me.
"Don't let it go, then," Dennis said. "Go work it out. Aren't you late?"
"I'm not going in after this shit," Andre said. "You think I’m just leaving you all here alone?”
The elevator chimed. "Hola!" Maria's voice chimed down the hallway, and any dark clouds flew away.
She swept in, looking radiant, and even more so as her face lit up at me. "Buenos dias." She swooped in and kissed me on the cheek. "You look wonderful."
"Thanks," I said, almost believing it for a second.
"Hey, sweetie," Dennis said. "Come, sit, eat."
"Yes, yes, papi. Once I take care of Ms. Georgia here."
"Take care of me?”
She held open a plastic bag, and I saw a box of hair dye inside. "I thought if you were going to stay in Juarez a bit longer, it is safer to look not so much...uh, white."
Dennis set the food down on the table and squeezed Maria with a hug. "See Andre, we’ve got our own ways to keep Georgia safe. Don't worry about her. You go burn off that anger. If she's gonna stay, you wanna keep up appearances with the Cartel right?”
Andre looked from face to face and settled on mine. I nodded. He rapped the table a few times, then sighed and got up, giving me a small squeeze on the shoulders as he walked past. "Fine. You need anything, you call me."
Maria took me to the bathroom, had me take of my dirty blue shirt and then placed my head right over the faucet. She soaked my hair and lathered in the dye. Dark water ran down and turned my sandy mess of hair into black curtains. When she pulled me up to dry, I couldn't recognize myself in the mirror.
"Muy bello," Andre said, his face appearing over mine in the mirror. He winked and then I heard him leave out the elevator as Maria dried my hair. The second the doors chimed shut, the place felt vastly emptier. I shivered under my damp head.
I took a shower after that. I peeled off the blue shirt and jeans from Mr. Tarly and dumped them in the trash. Maria had brought up some replacements and they fit me perfectly. I dried off by the window as Maria ate. Dennis sat next to her and they murmured softly in Spanish. I watched the way their faces brushed one another, the easy intimacy that seemed richer and seamier than any sex I’d ever heard of. It made me nervous, all that closeness, but even as I thought that, I wanted it. I wanted to know someone deep enough to do that with them.