Around her wasn't the buzz of cars and people, only a strange low hum and some rhythmic clicks, and she wasn't going across the street, she was lying down. Something was wrong. She swallowed, but her throat was dry, rough, constricted. She needed Jason or Russell, actually both, right now. Her hands were weighed down and she couldn't move. Her breath caught, her heart sped up and she tried to sit up, but her body wouldn't hold her, everything, every inch hurt, throbbing, aching, and burning.
Where were they? Where was she? The pain drowned out her thoughts, but she tried to push it away, tried to think.
Oh god. The last time she saw them they were leaving, all separating, Jason put them on display and Russell wanted to keep them hidden. She wanted them, but her dream died.
Did she die?
Did death have this much pain? Wasn't she supposed to feel nothing?
Funny, the falling sensation of the loss of her loves hurt more than the aches. Maybe that was why she couldn't move.
Still unable to open her eyes, she took a breath, and tried to focus. Something happened to her, she was injured. She had to be in a hospital. The last thing she remembered was being at that hotel by herself.
Alone.
Like right now.
She concentrated, tried to hear anything around her except for what had to be machines. She had both Russell and Jason listed as her emergency contacts on all her medical records and at work. They had to be here. Didn't they?
Her eyes fluttered, but before she gave in and opened them, she made a deal with herself. When she left the hotel she knew she had to talk to them. She was holding the purse from Dr. Dalton, but she needed them. If they were here…
She couldn't allow herself to finish her deal. What if they weren't here? What if they were contacted and didn't come? No matter what was wrong, she had to see them. She only had to get out of the limbo that trapped her. "Please."
"She's coming to. Everyone move back."
A male voice she recognized, but couldn't place, spoke. It wasn't the right voice, one of two voices she wanted to hear. Everyone? Who was everyone? It may as well be no one if the right ones weren't there. If they weren't, she wouldn't need any heart monitor to announce hers was broken, beyond repair. Whoever everyone was may as well leave and let her be. She shook her head, or thought she did and opened her mouth.
"Lauren. Wake up."
A voice she would know forever spoke her name, and it was only the owner of the voice who would demand she wake up. She wasn't alone.
"Lauren?"
Russell squeezed her hand. He was on the right side, the side he always took and the weight she noticed before wasn't a weight at all, it was an anchor, it was Russell. Though demanding, his voice was off, tired and heavy.
But where was Jason? They both had to be there. They had to. She couldn't be the cause of destroying their friendship. It would never be the same if it weren't the three of them.
"Talk to her," Russell whispered.
Her other hand was lifted, held by a hand that even through the haze she knew all too well. "Laurie."
The pressure built behind her eyelids, releasing in tears that crawled down her cheeks. They were both here. Both of them and some unknown voice, but it didn't matter they were there.
"Don't cry, just open your eyes and say something, please." Jason pressed her hand to his chest. "Please."
"You're here." Her voice didn't even sound as if it were connected to her body.
"Of course we are." Russell lifted her hand as well.
Yes, of course they were. She wanted them to be closer, do more than hold her hands, but she had no idea where they stood. The deal she wanted to make with herself seemed silly, of course they would come to her no matter what happened before. Her deals never worked out, she needed to stop shuffling the cards. "What happened?"
"I'm here as well," the third person spoke again. "I'm going to check her."
Russell and Jason's voices were imprinted in her mind, but this voice required a visual and once more she forced her eyes open. "Dr. Dalton?" Her heart stalled at the sight of him. Before she could focus on her other two men, a penlight was thrust into her face. She flinched as her world became blinded by light. How did the three of them end up together? No doubt her fantasy was over if Dr. Dalton was here. Did they make her choice for her?
"You gave me quite a scare." He checked both eyes.
Gave him quite a scare, not them. This man also gifted her one of the most expensive purses on the planet, more importantly, her tangible symbol of security. She blinked the spots out of her eyes, and summoned her courage to glance to her right.
Russell sported more than a five o'clock shadow, she was pretty sure he was wearing Jason's shirt, and his hair was a disaster as if he didn't comb it for days. She swore he seemed aged, and he was not as much staring at her, as he was Dr. Dalton.
She inhaled and glanced over at Jason. He now held her hand in both of his. He wasn't looking at anything in particular, but what she noticed most was the stubble on his face. Over the years, Russell would experiment with the more rugged look, but never Jason. Jason was always smooth, as if he willed the hair away. His hair hung around his face, and his shirt smeared in what appeared to be dried blue paint.
Neither of them spoke, kissed her, or did anything but hold her hand.
Obligation. She turned into one giant obligation.
"Follow my finger. You were hit by a car walking across Wilshire." Dr. Dalton held his index finger in front of her face. "I'm going to check your vitals and then we'll talk. This is all my fault."
The morning in the hotel she remembered deciding she didn't want the bag. But in one of life's unexpected twists she was handed a do over. Maybe the universe was yelling at her to make the right decision. She weighed her choices, and right now there seemed to be only two. Accept the gift and Dr. Dalton, or go see what life held for her.
No more deals, no more games, no more searching for what wasn't there. She needed to make up her own mind, take ownership for her actions and if nothing else face Jason and Russell. She paused for half a second wanting a sign.
"You never told me what you thought of my present." Dr. Dalton winked at her.
She opened her mouth to answer, but in one almost coordinated move, both Jason and Russell shot up out of their chairs.
"You asshole!" Jason pointed at him.
"A real doctor is on his way here." Russell swiped the penlight away from Dr. Dalton.
She bit her lip and held her breath.
"What do you think I am?" Dr. Dalton motioned to himself.
"Don't make him answer that." Jason took the penlight and threw it. The little piece of lighted metal hit the curtain and thumped to the floor. "We all made a deal to let her choose, and you can't swoop in and pretend you saved her or ask her about that overpriced leather."
Choose? What choice. Her mind reeled as she tried to keep track of a conversation she obviously entered in the middle.
"You didn't even get here until a few hours ago, we have been here for three days." Russell leaned over her. "Don't even think you get to take credit for this accident. If it was anyone's fault it was mine."
Three days? What day was it? She put her hand to her chest. The room temperature seemed to increase fifty degrees in a nanosecond.
Jason waved his hand in front of Russell. "We decided it was my fault."
With the entire ruckus, the bed shook. Sour bile rose in the back of her throat, and a cold sweat overtook her. She raised her hand.
"I believe you and I decided to collectively share the fault, but he gets to take no fault."
The bed continued to move, and she shut her eyes. She didn't need to look to know Russell's jaw was jutted out as he spoke. "Russ."
"Fine." Jason patted her. "I will give you fifty percent of my fault, though I still want one-hundred percent."
"Jase." Either one of them would do at the moment. Her stomach lurched.
"You know, you're right. The rea
son Lauren is in this condition is completely your fault." Dr. Dalton hit the bed. "The two of you and your insane situation. She deserves something better, something normal."
The bed rocked with her stomach. Now she had to address this. She swung her arm, hitting Jason's leg. "It's my fault."
"What?" Jason bent down. "Laurie?"
"Lauren." Russell took her hand again. "Let's get you a doctor."
Dr. Dalton cleared his throat.
"I need to say something first." She glanced between the three of them.
Dr. Dalton went to the foot of the bed.
She focused on him. "About the gift."
Russell made a noise, Jason turned away, and Dr. Dalton smiled one of those manufactured smiles. Maybe her company should put those in a box and sell them instead of lip plumpers.
"Anyone would love the gift." She nodded. The purse was a symbol. Once it represented success and stability, now it would only be tangible proof she sold out and gave up. "But, I think you need to save it for someone who will truly appreciate it."
"Lauren." He crossed his arms. "You had your fun and let me see what I wanted, and in turn I can give you what you want."
Her body tightened, not sure if she was going to laugh or heave. They shared the same fantasy. Now she understood Anne's cryptic message. No one would ever be enough for him. The only person who could come close would be someone who could satisfy two men. "It doesn't fit my things." At last, she said goodbye to the Valerie bag.
The room took on a breathless silence.
"All right." He gave her foot a squeeze. "I'm going go get the doctor on call, but I will have it be known that I worked in the ER for three years." He tilted his head and left.
Along with the bag, she said a silent goodbye to Dr. Dalton, and found herself looking between the two men she loved. As Dr. Dalton said, she lived the fantasy and for that she would forever be grateful. She had more than a Valerie bag even in the scant few weeks they were together and she wouldn't allow them to live with obligation or regrets, theirs or hers. If nothing else she would tell them what she wanted. "I need to tell you both something."
"Maybe we should wait for the doctor." Russell came closer.
"No, now." She needed to do this her way.
"Then I will talk first." Russell sat and moved his chair to the bed.
"We will talk first." Jason took his spot on the other side.
"No." She pulled her hands away from them and wiped her forehead. "I will talk first."
"Laurie." Jason reached for her.
She held her hand up to stop him from touching her. Though by the looks of things she may need a crutch to walk, she wouldn't use one now. "I came home that day to intercept the bag. Maybe I wanted a backup plan or maybe I was scared."
Neither of them said a word. She stared down at the hospital blanket. "I'm still scared."
"Lauren." Russell's tone told her he was desperate to interrupt.
She closed her eyes and forged ahead. "I'm tired of being scared. No matter if we're together or not, I will always love both of you. I was selfish and wanted it all."
"Do you still want it all?" Jason leaned down until he was in her field of vision, his bangs falling down into his face.
"She just turned away a handbag that costs the same as some people's homes." Russell took her hand back.
"Maybe she had it all, but would prefer us two instead." Jason took her other hand.
Along with her fear of everything else, now she was scared to look at them.
Russell kissed the back of her hand. "I've never been as lost as when the two of you left, and I've never been as terrified as when I got the phone call saying you were hurt. I wanted to die. I love you."
"I thought I was going to lose it." Jason laid his head down on her lap. "These were the worst three days of my life. I love you, too."
Somehow, after everything, she had her life back. She closed her eyes, waiting for the two kisses that would be more healing than any medicine, but a knock at the door interrupted their reunion.
"I hear Ms. Redmond is doing much better. I'm Dr. Roberts." A man in blue scrubs and a white coat came over to her bed, nodded at her and looked at Russell. "I will oversee Ms. Redmond's care until your father returns with Dr. Parker."
"Your father?" She turned to Russell for confirmation. The situation with his parents haunted her.
"My parents wanted to be here when you woke up, but they went to go pick up some specialist flying in from Colorado. I called them, and they came right away." Russell leaned over.
"My parents are at the house making no bake cheesecake and lasagna." Jason gave her hand a squeeze.
"And club soda?" She couldn't stop the tears.
"Of course." Jason wiped her eye.
"Would you like some privacy while I check you?" The doctor went to the IV. "We normally allow only next of kin here, but you listed both men."
They both tightened their hold on her and she looked between them. "This is my family." At this moment their other issues didn't matter, not Jason's art, or Russell's insecurities, and even her insecurities, she had next of kin.
Chapter Thirty-Two
"I will bring breakfast into the bedroom." Russell called from the kitchen.
"That's good since our girlfriend needs crutches to get around." Jason pursed his lips and pointed to the clock. "Though by the time we got you to the table, he may actually be finished."
Lauren laughed and glanced at the time. Fine, it was a little late for breakfast, or brunch, but for someone who only days ago thought she would never have Russell's potatoes again, it was worth the wait.
They brought her home from the hospital yesterday, and proceeded to treat her like a piece of fine china. No complaints would leave her mouth, she relished in the way they doted on her. She only pushed back when Russell tried to go to the bathroom with her. There was a line.
"Breakfast is served." Russell entered carrying three plates. He gave one to Jason, put his down on the nightstand, and got in bed with her dish.
She reached for the food.
Russell shook his head, pierced a piece of potato, blew on it and held the fork out to her.
"I can feed myself." She frowned.
"I want to do it." Jason scooted over. He didn't bother with grabbing her food he simply scooped up some scrambled eggs from his plate. "Open up."
With no choice, she managed to get her mouth open right as Jason shoved the fork in her face.
"You are terrible at this." Russell shooed his hand away and proceeded to feed her the potato.
"Fine if we ever have a kid you can feed it." Jason took a bite of his breakfast.
At Jason's words her heart sank, they finally got over being together now wasn't the time to add anything else to the mix.. During her time in the hospital she thought about these things and decided she was willing as long as they were together. She made sure to avert her eyes from either of them until the awkward moment went away.
"Maybe before we have children, we should have a talk." Somehow Russell managed to get a piece of bacon on the fork and put it to his lips before feeding it to her. "I'm pretty good at this."
"Yes, I have a few things I need to go over as well. Very serious business." Jason sat up.
She managed to swallow the food and glanced between them, willing the color to remain in her face.
"My mother couldn't believe you gave up the Valerie bag." Russell put her plate aside. "But she said everyone has one now. We actually had a conversation."
If the three of them never mentioned the purse again, she would be fine. She had a feeling this wasn't as much about the bag as the man who gave it to her. "Yes, we do need to talk. I don't want the bag or Dr. Dalton."
"That's good." Russell leaned over the bed and came back up with a white box tied with a pink ribbon. "But since your purse got a little banged up in the accident, we thought you may like this one." He put the box on her lap.
She licked her lips and untied the
ribbon with her right hand. Jason put his plate aside and helped her lift the lid. "Oh." Damn it, she loved purses, and at first glance she knew this bag. The shiny black leather, the chain strap and the logo on the closure dripped of two of the best words in the fashion industry – vintage couture. "They don't make this brand anymore."
"No, they don't." Russell handed it to her. "Only the most elite ever get to own a Christopher Marks handbag. Everyone from the queens, actresses and even first ladies have carried this bag."
"This bag has history." Jason ran his hand across it as if showcasing it.
"It's magnificent." She pulled it toward her. Never in her dreams did she picture owning one of these. They went up for auction every once in a while, but while the Valerie bag was unattainable, this was impossible. "Thank you."
"I thought you may want to wear the bag when I take you and Jason to my holiday party in a couple of weeks." Russell stared at her.
She looked at him then Jason. "Both of us?"
"Maybe Laurie needs one more accessory to accept your invitation, something more concrete." Jason opened the bag.
Both he and Russell reached in the purse and pulled out their own red velvet box.
Her heart sped up and she prayed they didn't give her too many painkillers and now she was hallucinating.
"It will only ever be you two." Russell opened his box revealing a diamond eternity ring and a plain platinum band. He handed the plain band to Jason and slipped the other ring onto her finger. "I never want any doubts about our relationship again, and we'll figure out a way to make it even more official."
"Oh my God." She glanced at the diamonds. The stones glimmered even brighter through her tears.
"Yes, both of you are very taken. We are truly a trouple now." Jason opened his box. Inside was a matching set of rings. "We are family."
As if they were performing some ritual, Jason handed Russell his ring and put hers on her finger and his face broke out into one of his traffic-stopping smiles. "While I want the world to know about our status, I think there are some things that are sacred and need to be kept between the three of us. I hope the two of you don't mind supporting the starving artist for a while longer while I get myself another agent."
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