There was a tiny human hand at the end of each wing.
Then the creature spoke. “Fuck you.”
I jumped back instinctively and, immediately ashamed of the girly reaction, put a bullet through one the thing’s shark eyes.
I scanned the room and found no freaky creatures. I slowly made my way through the rest of the rooms. There was nothing in the next two rooms, but the third room was occupied.
The dragging sound reached my ears before I could see into the room. It sounded like a blubbery chunk of dead whale being dragged over a wooden floor. I jumped in front of the door with the gun ready and my heart hammering.
A massive white worm with the torso of a woman was slowly making its way from one side of the room to the other. It was completely bald and its engorged breasts were oozing a brown liquid that ran all the way down to the floor. The thing stopped moving and turned to the door. I noticed she had a bottle of wine in her right hand.
“Nihilism I tell you,” said the worm-woman with a voice that sounded like it was coming from an underwater source a few countries away.
“Can you understand me?” I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.
“NOTHING! No way out! Emptiness! Endless voids of zilch! NOTHING!” The maggot-woman stared at me with panicked eyes and smashed the bottle against the wall. She picked up one of the larger pieces of glass, and sliced her throat from ear to ear. By the time the blood splattered on the floor, I was out the door.
I had to file a report at the Rehabilitation Center detailing what had gone down and saying that no one, or no thing capable of paying rent, was living at the crumbling building anymore.
Tony was pouring lacquer thinner down a guy’s wrecked back and ass when I walked in. The poor bastard was in thumbscrews tied to a chain hanging from the ceiling. Every muscle in his naked body was stretched to the snapping point but no sounds came from his mouth.
“Hey Tony, how’s it going?”
“Not bad, Gut. You?”
“Ah, just finished checking out a report of some squatters.”
“You brought anybody in?”
“Nah, it wasn’t exactly what I was expecting.”
“Bummer, Bella hooked me up with a little device I’m trying out that keeps the screaming to a minimum.”
“Yeah? What is it?”
“Check this dude’s neck out,” said the rat with a smile.
The man was wearing a heretic’s fork. A long metallic rod with split, sharpened ends was wedged between his lower jaw and sternum. His head was thrown back and any opening of the mouth would simultaneously drive the sharp ends of the fork into his chest and chin. His face was contorted and snot and tears were running down his face and neck.
“Bella is sick, man. Where the hell did she get this thing?” I asked.
“According to Bella, one of her lovers died of a heart attack. She was the one that found him so she took a few things from his apartment before calling the Inquiry and Disposal team. She also showed me a wooden thing that looked like a vise with rusty spikes on both sides. She’s having it cleaned and plans to use it to put some guy’s balls in it and crush them very slowly.”
“That’s not a nice picture, but thank you for the information.”
“You’re welcome.” Tony whipped the man some more.
“What did this guy do?”
“Parrot brought him in. You know Parrot right? The guy with no nose?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, he brought him in. Apparently this fellow thought it’d be a good idea to walk into a MegaStore, fill his pockets with canned fetus strips and walk out without paying.”
“What’s all this fetus meat crap? They’re serving that shit everywhere now.”
“Yeah, it’s the softest, sweetest meat you can get,” explained Tony. “It’s very high in protein, too. MegaCorp is producing the stuff in China because they have way more women to work with over there. Anyway, there’s a taco stand about…”
“Yeah, I’ve been there. Good stuff.”
“Exactly my point,” said Tony and he put the whip down and poured some more thinner on the guy’s back. While he hadn’t really moved all that much during the whipping, the prisoner now tensed again, veins popping all over his skinny body, and grunted like a feral hog.
“Hey, Tony, there’s something I need to talk to you about when you get a second.”
“You want to go outside right now? I’m sort of tired of going at this dude’s back.”
“Sure thing,” I replied.
Tony slapped the guy’s bloody ass and promised to be right back with a wink.
We stepped out into the hallway and I told him all that had gone down between Marie and Philippe. I asked for his help and told Tony to feel free to say no as Screw had already done so and the least thing I wanted was to have him lose his job.
Tony listened intently, nodding once in a while and shaking his head a few times. His massive, hairy chest puffed out and he let it go with an audible sigh when I was done. Philippe remained mercifully quiet for the duration of our conversation.
“You need to do whatever you think you need to do,” said Tony once I was done talking. “What I want to know is what you want me to do.”
“You know what? I’m not sure,” I confessed. “I thought about a few ways of making Marie break a regulation and then bring her here, but that would entail reviving our relationship. I guess I’m asking for your help because I don’t know what to do.”
“You’re in luck, my friend. I think I know how you can take care of this issue pronto.”
“I’m all ears.”
“You know I fucking hate ear jokes, Gut.”
“My bad. It slipped out.”
“Right,” he said looking around. “Follow me.”
Without another word, Tony began walking down the hallway. I hurried to keep up with his long strides. At the end of the hall, Tony pulled a card out of his pocket and swept it through a slot on top of a black box. The door buzzed open and we stepped through. A long corridor with bad lighting stretched in front of us. We began walking again and soon came to a cell. I realized this was the place they used to hold the prisoners that awaited torture.
The guy in the first cell was naked and curled up on the bare concrete floor with his back toward the door. His exposed spine seemed to be painted like a child’s xylophone.
The second cell contained a willowy woman with long blonde hair, a tattered green dress and a considerable skin flap hanging from her bloody forehead. She was standing on a corner and appeared to be mumbling to herself.
There was a naked fat guy in the third cell with incredibly thick glasses and no teeth. Drool slid from his gaping mouth as he masturbated. He went at it so fast and furiously that I thought he’d pull off his dick.
Tony said, “We’re gonna pay my friend Loo a little visit.”
“Who’s Loo?” It was the first time I had heard the name.
“He’s the man in charge of special torturing and disposal tools.”
“Great. Is he the guy responsible for the hatchets, thick garbage bags, gasoline, acid, pliers and all that other stuff?”
“When was the last time you were here for a disposal?”
“I don’t know. A year?”
“Sounds more like a decade to me. We have more recent tools that make the whole process a little cleaner and faster.”
“Sounds good to me.”
We kept walking in silence. I turned just in time to see the guy in the last cell. He was sitting in the middle of the cell facing the door. He had no arms and the fresh stumps dripped with pus. He had dead eyes.
“Whet the hell happened to this guy?” I had to ask.
“Fuck, Gut, you ask a lot of damn questions, man! I don’t know. The pervert showed up with no arms. He’s going leave this place with no balls, you think I care? I’ll drag him in later and let Bella take care of business with her new toy and the rest of the story is not my fucking business. It’s that sim
ple.”
“That’s great, but he never raped the bot.”
“What do you mean?”
“He used a piece of it to scratch his belly button from the inside; that’s not raping the pleasurebot.” Nerves were apparently turning me into a stickler for regulations.
“We couldn’t care less, Gut. If you want I can call the boss and you can defend the guy.”
“No, that’s okay.”
“Yeah, that’s what I though.”
The corridor finally reached an end and Tony pushed open another door. We entered a small room with two low-wattage bulbs hanging from the ceiling. A fence with a small opening filled the entire left side of the room. A guy with thick grey tubes coming out of his nostrils smiled at us with teeth so big and crooked he looked like something pulled from a horror flick. .
“Big T!” The man’s voice was artificial and sounded like slowed down audio.
“How you doing, Loo?”
“Not bad, not bad. What brings you to the dungeon?”
“I’m done with my guy and I need one of the new puddle-makers.”
Loo looked at Tony and then at me. He then lowered his eyes and scanned a document he had on the table in front of him.
“You mean the fetus muncher?”
“That’s him.”
“Well, he’s not scheduled for disposal, T,” Loo said looking at both of us with obvious suspicion creeping into his fake voice.
“Listen, Loo,” said Tony approaching the cage. The rat held on to the mesh as high as his muscular arms allowed. “This is a special favor you’re doing me here, buddy.”
“You know the regulations, T, I can’t just give you the equipment without the proper paperwork.” The tubed man’s mechanical voice cracked.
Screw had mentioned paperwork and now Loo was throwing a wrench in whatever plan Tony had concocted with the paperwork thing once again. It made me realize that the disappearance of one form of oppressive power does not mean the end of fucking official procedures. It was painful to remember what I had known since MegaCorp came to power—hegemony is like energy. It can be transformed, but never destroyed.
“Sure you can, Loo. You’re the man here! Whatever you say goes. It’ll only take an hour or so.”
“Who’s him?” Loo asked looking at me.
“A good friend of mine. He’s in a bind, Loo. He’s a MegaCorp hunter and he needs our help, man. Are you really going to leave us hanging?”
“If I give it to you and they trace it back to me…”
“It won’t happen,” interrupted Tony. “You’ll have the thing back in an hour and no one will be the wiser, deal?”
“I just can’t…”
Tony rattled the fence a bit and Loo jumped out of his seat.
“Be a fucking buddy, Loo. I’ll hook you up with that wrestler chick I told you about. She can squeeze your melon between her legs until you pass out.”
Loo said nothing but nodded twice and disappeared into the gloom that opened up behind the fence. Tony looked at me and winked. A minute later Loo came back with a small black box that resembled a camera case and handed it to Tony.
“Bring it back quickly, T. I’ll deny the whole thing and have you fired if anything comes back to me.”
“You got it, Loo. I owe you one. I’ll make sure Droka breaks your dick in half, bud.”
Loo smiled, flashing those horror-teeth again. Tony walked back to the door and we hurried down the dim corridor without a word.
Back in the torture chamber, Tony closed the door. The guy tied to the ceiling had passed out. The stench of feces, coagulated blood, piss, snot and lacquer thinner was overpowering. Tony opened the small case and handed me a small rectangular thing.
It felt like cheap plastic. Tony told me to make sure the safety was on at all times and only take it off to fire one shot at Marie and then put it immediately back on.
I told him I had a gun and was about to ask him what was so special about this one when he said “This is not a gun, Gut, it’s something more. Shoot it one time and get the hell away. Don’t let anyone see it. Bring it back as soon as you’re done. You need to get out of here now and take care of business. This is serious, Gut. Being fired is the least of my worries if someone finds out I let you have this.”
“No need to worry, man,” I said. “I know you’re sticking your neck out there for me, so letting you down is not an option. I’ll follow your instructions and head back here immediately. I give you my word on that.”
I thanked him and left.
I hopped on the car and looked at my watch. It was ten past noon. Ampu-titties opened at eleven so at that hour Marie was probably pleasuring a guy as a multi-breasted giant centipede, a bearded Nazi nun or a stockinged Peruvian Inca Orchid bitch.
“It’s about bloody time you sprouted some testicles, mate,” uttered Philippe.
“All in due time, my friend, all in due time.”
“Are you going to take care of the lass right now?”
“That’s the plan, Stan.”
“Would you consider stopping first for a bite to eat, mate?”
“No can do,” I said to the mouth. “We have to do this thing and head back to the Rehabilitation Center. I’ll get you some fetus tacos as soon as that’s done, deal?”
“I’ll try not to perish.”
A few minutes later I pulled up to Ampu-titties. I grabbed the weird little gun.
I handed the guy at the door a big bill and walked in, hoping I didn’t looked as freaked-out on the outside as I felt.
I made a beeline for the cyber lounge and took a seat. When the usual guy came by to hand over the equipment, I handed him a twenty and told him I needed to see Marie to give her an important message.
“She’s working, sir,” he said.
“I know. I’m her boyfriend.”
His eyes rolled up. Apparently he had heard that line before. Another twenty took care of his incredulousness and got me to the back room. I opened a small door that lead to the back room and walked into an area with white walls and bored-looking cyberwhores stuck inside private booths. They were all wearing headsets and in postures that looked more jaded than sexy. I could see their backs or sides. They were all working, which meant I could probably do my thing without being noticed.
Marie was easy to spot. Her elbows were propped up on a furry brown desk and she was chewing gum. Uncertainty filled my head and a cold feeling seized my guts. My feet refused to take another step in her direction.
“Don’t fuck this up now, you bloody fool!” hissed Philippe.
“I… I can’t do this,” now that I was where I needed to be, the love I had once felt for her crept back into my heart and paralyzed me.
“Sure you fucking can, you gutless worm! Grow some cojones and do it now, you bloody cunt!”
Philippe’s voice made a few women turn their heads, but none removed their headsets and I was sure they couldn’t see me over the walls of their booths. I recalled Philippe’s wet 9-inch tongue plopping onto my belly and red anger warmed my innards and unfroze my feet. Remembering that saliva-covered appendage sliding into Marie and the way her delicious, warm stump had flapped against my body like never before shot resolution into my brain with the undeniable power of rushing shame.
With a quick motion, I pulled the gun out and walked over to where Marie was sitting. I called to her. Philippe chuckled.
“David? Is that you?” asked Marie, removing her headset.
“Yeah, it’s me.”
“It’s us, cunt!” screamed Philippe.
Marie stood up. Her mouth hung open. It made her look positively retarded. I brought the gun up shakily and clicked off the safety. Marie’s face registered surprise, fear and anger. Her mouth moved as if she was about to say something. My finger wrapped around the trigger and squeezed.
A small needle buried itself below her left clavicle. She gasped and tensed. Instead of turning around and getting the hell out of there, I stood and watched Marie’s
face. Her skin bubbled and her body shook. Hair fell out as her scalp began to melt and her breasts slid drown her chest, pulling her top with them. Her eyeballs turned white and steamed in their sockets.
I turned for the door, glancing behind me. There was nothing but a big puddle of goo on the floor with small rivulets of smoke coming from it. The rest of the cyberwhores were still talking to losers over their headsets and only a few were scrunching up their noses at the smell coming from the puddle of melted flesh and bone.
Marie never screamed.
Philippe chuckled all the way to the car.
I calmly returned the gun to Tony.
“Did you go through with it?” he asked.
“I did, my friend.” I hadn’t processed it yet, so that was all I could say. However, Tony was not about to let it go at that.
“So, how do you feel now?”
“I... I don’t know,” I said. “A part of me is happy that she got what she deserved but...”
“Two parts of you are happy!” said Philippe.
“Listen, Gut, you need some time to let this sink in. You know, like twenty minutes or something. Then you need to get your life back on track and get your ass back to work.”
“I know, it’s just that now I’ll never know why she did it,” I said, realizing that maybe we could’ve had a future. “Maybe at some point she was going to come back on her hands and knees and beg me to take her back.”
“You should’ve thought about that shit before you turned her into a pink puddle,” said Tony.
I knew he was right. While Philippe was devouring fetus tacos, I got another text about a small man that was selling chicken, duck, alligator, snake, demon and ostrich baluts out of a cart near the park and hadn’t paid MegaCorp anything in more than two months. Like an automaton, I went there, dragged the little Filipino man away from his cart kicking and screaming, dropped him in Tony’s capable paws and headed home.
A sense of detachment had taken over me and I was in no mood to fight it. I went home, watched another Mellick V book and decided to wash away my crime with a long shower.
There was a knock at the door as I stepped out of the shower. I opened it wearing shorts and a smile. Two guys in silvery suits stood outside. One was about seven feet tall, sported a thick handlebar moustache and looked like he could knock someone out with a punch to the knee. The other was about two feet shorter, bald, and had one huge, droopy eye in the middle of his forehead.
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