"You sing for me?"
"I sing because of you! I find myself falling more and more in love with you everyday and it pains me to know that I cannot have you!"
Like any woman in such a situation, I began to find myself firmly placed in the palm of the Duke's hand. He spoke with such passion and magic that I could not help but feel like he was the love of my life. I tried to speak, but he cut me off and insisted I let him finish.
"I must kiss you again, Jane. Just once. Just one more time. I must feel your lips pressed against mine before I part from you again. Just one kiss." He stroked the side of my face with a hand so smooth it almost sent me into a slumber; but how could I sleep when I was so exited? I was trembling with anticipation as he leaned ever closer to me before, finally, tasting my lips. It began as a soft kiss but the Duke was quickly taken over by lust. He dipped me low, supporting me with one hand on my rear, and kissed my neck. I have never been kissed so passionately by anyone! The feel of his teeth sinking into my neck as his warm saliva lubricated my skin is something I feel I shall never forget.
Then, just like the night before, we both snapped out of the trance of love. The Duke raised me to my feet and removed his hand from my rear. He excused himself while wiping his palms on his trousers and left my chamber in such a hurry that I hardly realised he was gone.
Once again, Diary, I find myself unable to sleep. I am so overcome with emotion that I can hardly sit still for even a moment. I feel myself falling in love with the Duke, just as he has fallen in love with me. However, I cannot bring myself to cause such hurt and pain to the Duchess. If she were to find out about the actions of her husband she would surely be left with a broken heart. As for the newspapers and rumours, they would love to get their hands on a story of love and betrayal such as this. I do not want to be turned into a figure of hate. I do not want to be the ruin of the marriage of the Duke and Duchess. What should I do? What can I do?
I will leave you now diary as I must be alone with my thoughts.
Farewell,
Jane.
February Fifth, 1816.
Diary,
It has now been two days since the Duke last pressed his lips against mine. I have not encountered him a single time since that night. I have not even heard his voice or footsteps as he moves throughout the manor; it is as if he whispers and tiptoes everywhere he goes for fear of provoking me or catching my attention. I have not set out in search of him as I feel he is doing the right thing by avoiding me. If we do not see each other, we cannot give into our temptations and fall further into love and despair. That being said, I am unable to get the man of the house out of my mind. Not only do I find myself missing his companionship, but also I find myself longing for him to touch me. I feel as though I need his hands upon my body if I am to survive another day her at Brenwich Manor. I crave his teeth sinking deep down into my neck and his hand squeezing my rear so tight that it makes me moan with pleasure. I have even begun to excite myself by simply thinking about our last encounter, which is something I have never done before. When first arrived at this manor, my hands were strangers to the lower half of my body; now that is no longer the case. I cannot help myself!
Thus far, however, I have been able to put the Duke out of mind for brief periods of time in order to fulfil my obligations to the manor. I have busied myself in dusting and wiping and sweeping yet every time I finish these tasks, thoughts of the Duke come rushing to my mind once again. What am I to do?
I must go now, Diary, as writing about my relationship with the Duke is making me far too excited for my own good.
Until next time,
Jane.
February Tenth, 1816.
Diary,
I do not know where to begin. It is early morning. The sun is rising and it has been yet another sleepless night. As I sit here, at the writing desk in the corner of my room, the sleeping Duke lies in my bed, just inches away. How can I begin to explain this to you?
It was approaching midnight and I was in my chamber, preparing for a well-deserved sleep when suddenly there came a knocking at my door. I knew instantly who is was; the only person who has ever come to my chamber door at such an hour. I still had not encountered the Duke since our last kiss over a week before and in that time I had only grown to crave his love more.
"Who is it?” I asked, doing my best to sound as though I did not already know the answer to my question.
"It is the Duke" he replied in a shaky voice, "I must see you."
I slowly answered the door and motioned him inside without saying a word. Once the Duke was firmly inside my chamber, I closed the door to shut out the world. The very second the door was shut, we both leapt at each other and fell onto the bed in a passionate embrace. I could feel the strong arms of the Duke holding me tighter and tighter as his tongue ventured into my mouth in search of my own, somewhat nervous tongue. The feeling of the Duke lying on top of my body as he pressed my delicate wrists to the mattress is feeling I suspect will be imprinted into my mind forever; at least I hope it is! As he held me down, he removed his tongue from my mouth and relocated it to my neck before proceeding to run it up and down my soft skin. I twitched with delight as he did this and finally I had his body to myself. I was becoming increasingly excited and I could tell that the Duke also shared these feelings as I could feel his penis hardening against my body. What a wonderful sensation it was.
While the Duke continued to move his tongue from the top to the bottom of my neck, I moaned with delight before suddenly blurting out "bite me". I was stunned to hear these words exit my mouth! I am but a young, God fearing maid of the manor and yet my lips were able to produce such a request. I ask you Diary, is that normal? Were any of the feelings I experienced normal? When he obeyed my command and sank his teeth into my neck, was that a normal act? When I sighed and shook as he took my skin between his teeth, was that normal? I must admit to still being extremely confused by my desire to be bitten, but I am far more confused by what happened after the Duke removed his teeth from my neck. No sooner than his teeth returned to his mouth did I feel his hand venture down to that area between my legs; I am still not used to my own hand touching that space, let alone the hand of a wealthy and well-travelled man! The Duke began to rub me between my legs, slowly at first but building up speed as he heard the volume of my moans increase. It was such an incredible feeling when he slipped his hand beneath my nightgown and traced along my leg until he was once again between my legs, this time with nothing separating him from my flesh.
"Have you ever been loved by a man?" the Duke asked me as he stroked my most private area.
"No" I confessed, "no, I have not." I was experiencing such intense pleasure that it was difficult for me to speak. His masterful hands where causing me to shake and to twitch and to clutch the sheets of my bed tightly.
"Can I love you?" he asked.
"You..." I struggled to speak though the variety of new sensations I was experiencing. "You are already in love with me." The Duke chuckled for a moment, I understand now that he was chuckling at my innocence.
"No, no, no" he began, laughter still evident in his voice. "Jane, can I make love to you?"
The voice of the respectable woman that lurks inside my head began to shout and scream and demand that I reply to the Duke in the negative. I could even hear the voice of my mother, who is miles upon miles away, yelling at me and insisting I decline. "Do not be so sinful, Jane" I could imagine her saying, "you do not give yourself to a man unless you have already given him your hand in marriage." Yes, I knew it would be wrong of me to give into the requests of the Duke and surrender my virginity to him, but I did so anyway.
With a slight giggle of delight, the Duke removed his hands from under my gown and lifted himself from the bed. For a moment, I lay on the bed in a state of confusion. Having never engaged in the act of love making, I was unsure of what was required of me. The Duke, gentle and caring as always, told me not to be nervous and extended his hand to me. Takin
g hold of it, I was pulled to my feet and quickly found myself face to face with the man who was about to claim my body. Again, he took me in his grasp and began to kiss my neck. I tilted my head back and sighed a loud sigh of pleasure as he continued to work his way up my neck before stopping at my ear. He breathed heavily into my ear and took my earlobe in his mouth. Diary, I had never heard of such a thing taking place between a man and a woman, but the feeling of the Duke chewing on my ear caused my knees to become week and took me right to the edge of pleasure. For a moment, I even believed myself to be on the verge of blacking out and spending the remainder of my life in a pleasure induced state of unconsciousness. He must have felt my body grow limp as he quickly dipped me once again and positioned me on the bed before him. As I lay on the bed, looking up the animal that was the Duke, he began to remove his shirt in anticipation of what was to follow. Until this moment, the only man I had ever seen without something covering his torso was my father; Diary, I assure you, the Duke had a very different torso to the torso of my father. Where there should have been unappealing rolls of fat, the Duke had muscle. Where there should have been clumps of greying hair, the Duke was smooth. Where there should have been bruises and torn skin, there was nothing but undisturbed flesh.
I rose to my feet, I could not stop myself, and pressed my clothed body against the half naked body of the master of the house. Silently, he placed his hand behind my head and pushed it gently down to his shoulder until my lips were touching his skin. The bare flesh of Duke felt marvellous in my mouth. His scent, which he must have sprayed on his neck, began to enter my nostrils and made me quiver as I licked the skin which so perfectly covered his perfect body. Now it was the Duke who began to moan. He had been relatively quiet at the beginning of our encounter but the feeling of my saliva running down his torso was something that he obviously found quite enjoyable. He even repeated my words when he asked me "Jane, will you bite me?" I obliged, just as he had obliged me, and began to suck on the skin of his shoulder until it entered my mouth, at which point I began to bite down as hard as I could. He shook. He trembled. He moaned. He even asked me to bite harder, which I was not sure if I was capable of doing. Thankfully, I found the strength in my jaws to sink my teeth even deeper into his body, causing him to emit a groan so loud I feared we would be discovered my the Duchess.
"What if somebody hears us?" I asked, frightfully worried.
"There is nobody to hear us. The staff are in their chambers and the Duchess has gone out for the night."
Those words were all I needed to hear to comfort me and I immediately returned to the task of biting the Duke as hard as my body would allow me. He moaned louder than ever and I could feel the area between my legs growing wetter by the second. I could no longer be the one in control; I needed to feel the hands of the Duke massaging the outside of my vagina once again.
"Please" I whispered, "please take me now." The duke smirked and began to pull my nightgown over my head.
"First, I must see you nude" he replied, a condition that I was more than willing to meet. I raised my arms to aid the Duke in removing my gown and soon I was stood before him with nothing to cover my modesty. It was indeed odd to think that I was standing nude, inches away from one of the most powerful men in the world. Of course, it was a thought which was very quickly wiped from my mind as the Duke lowered his head to my breasts and proceeded to trace the outside of each breast with his tongue. As he occupied himself and his mouth, I dropped my right hand and began to touch myself. I was getting wetter and wetter, and when the Duke took one of my nipples into his mouth, I believed that I was going to reach climax then and there.
"Do not touch yourself,” he commanded, "that is my job." He then pushed me to the bed for a third time and threw himself on top of me. Now he began to massage my vagina once again, this time slowly sliding his fingers inside me as I was taken into a world of pleasure and delight, which had always seemed so far removed.
"Do you like that?" asked the Duke, knowing exactly what my answer was going to be.
"Yes. It feels fantastic. Keep going." I was dismayed when the Duke did not oblige my request to continue and instead removed his fingers all together. However, he did not leave me feeling forlorn and alone for long as he almost immediately began to position himself above me for complete penetration. I was still shaking, however this shaking was the result of the nerves I was feeling with the impending entrance of the Duke. Despite being dazed by pleasure, I was still aware that what was about to happen was one of the most important moments of my life. Virginity is not something which you should give to just anybody, but right at that moment I knew that the Duke was the only man I wanted to take my virginity; and he did. I nearly wept with joy as I felt the throbbing penis of my employer enter my vagina and brush against my eager glands. His warm body gyrated against me as he moved his penis slowly in and out, occasionally pushing harder when he deemed it necessary. I began to lose control of my body and my limbs jolted out as if I were in a seizure or the victim of demonic possession. The Duke returned to biting my neck as his pelvis thrust against my legs and continued to do so until, finally, he climaxed. The feeling of his hot fluids pouring out of his body and into mine caused a sensation so unique and exhilarating that it brought me to climax also. Exhausted and panting for breath, the Duke fell into my arms and promptly fell asleep. Everything seemed so right and perfect as I watched him lie in my arms; even now, several hours later, I cannot deny that I find myself in an unusual state of total contentment. I feel attached to the Duke, as if the heavens had intended us to be together. As for the feeling of guilt one is supposed to feel after engaging in intercourse with a married man, I cannot say that I am experiencing it. Perhaps I shall fell a degree of guilt as time goes on, but for now I feel that I would be doing myself an injustice by not continuing my relationship with the Duke. He has made me so happy that not pursuing tonight's encounter further would be to slap fate in the face.
Oh my, Diary, I have lost track of time. The sun has now risen! I must run as I am to report to work shortly and the Duke will surely awaken in mere minutes.
I will write more shortly.
Goodnight/good morning,
Jane.
February Fifteenth, 1816.
Diary,
As I write this, I stain your pages with tears. I have not seen the Duke since our night together and this evening I returned to my chamber to find he had slid a note under my door. I cannot bear to go into the details myself, so I will place the note itself within your pages.
"Dearest Jane,
Our last night together was perhaps the single most passion filled night of my life. Even now I feel that I have not fully come down from the feeling of elation I experienced after making love to you. However, I fear that there is no use in pursuing a relationship, nor do I feel that we should have any degree of contact beyond this note. I am aware that I love you and I am aware that I am likely going to regret this decision for the remainder of my life; but I am far too advanced in my years to be playing around with young maids. I am content to stay with the Duchess until death should do us part and I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me for all I have put you through. I would prefer if you would resign from your position here at Brenwich Manor, and should you choose to do so, I would ensure that you are quite well provided for throughout our life. Of course, I cannot make you leave and if you make the decision to stay in my employment, I will do all I can to make sure your time here is unaffected by what has transpired between us.
Goodbye. I love you."
*Publisher's note -
This note form the Duke to Jane was not found with this diary entry, but was provided to us my a descendant of Jane's sister, who has been in possession of the young maid's property for many years now. We thank her for her assistance in piecing together the final days of Jane's existence.
February 17th, 1816.
Diary,
I have not left my chamber in two days. At least, I b
elieve it has been two days. It has been whatever amount of time has past since I found the note from the Duke, which told me he was severing all ties, form me. Nobody from the cleaning staff, not even Miss Dupoint, has ventured to my chamber in search of me, which I believe to be the work of the Duke. I am sure that he is trying to convince me that he is a kind and caring person, perhaps out of fear that I am going to reveal the details of our affair to the Duchess. I cannot deny that I have considered doing such a thing as I am finding myself increasingly consumed by guilt. The feeling of contentment I first experienced has completely evaporated, as has the desire to keep our relationship hidden. No longer do I feel that coming clean would be a slap in the face of fate, rather I feel that not coming clean would be a slap in the face of the Duchess, who has been so tremendously kind to me.
I must put many hours more thought into this situation before I reach my decision.
Until then,
Jane.
February 19th, 1816.
Diary,
I have decided to reveal all to the Duchess. I do not believe that I can continue leaving my life with the knowledge that I am responsible for a sweet and honourable woman being married to a man who is a liar and fraud, regardless of how powerful he may be. Today, I finally confronted the Duke as he read a book of poems in his study. He was shocked to see me at first but soon admitted that he did not believe I would simply leave the manor without first coming to see him. He seemed to be under the impression that I had come to bid him farewell before exiting the manor for good. I assured the Duke that he was wrongly mistaken as I had, in fact, come to let him know of my intentions to stay on as a maid in Brenwich Manor. I also revealed to him my plans to make a full confession to the Duchess and the priest. After spending several minutes berating me for believing I must confess my sins to a man of the cloth, the Duke turned his attention to my plans to inform his wife of his misdeeds. I assume he did not jump at this right away, as he believed it to be merely a threat with no real substance. However, he soon found that I was not bluffing and went into an extreme panic. Tonight, when I returned to my chamber, I found another note slid under my door. It reads:
The Duke's Dilemma: Regency Romance Menage Short Stories Page 88