“Now hold up,” Holden said. “I don’t think we should be jumping to conclusions or accusing anyone of something like that.”
“I can’t believe you,” Amber shouted, ignoring Holden altogether. Her eyes were flashing with fury, her breath quick as she stared bloody murder at Waylon.
In typical Waylon style, he didn’t say a word in his defense.
“You psychotic piece of shit,” Amber said, throwing the words at him like volleys of gunfire. “I can’t believe I ever thought about staying here for you. Go rot in hell, you heartless bastard.”
With that, she turned her nervous horse around and rode off towards the house, leaving us on our own in the cold.
“I think we got some talking to do before we take Amber to the airport,” I said, gritting my teeth against the anger boiling inside me at my damned, hard-assed brother.
Holden looked from me to Waylon, waiting for us to make a decision. Then he shook his head. “One of us should go after her now,” he said. “Who’s it gonna be?”
22
Amber
I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing all the way back to the house. I didn’t know if they were tears of anger or betrayal, but they definitely weren’t sadness. Because I would be all too happy to leave that rat-bastard Waylon behind and never think of him again.
After all that time of keeping the secret, of saying we had to be careful, he was the one who had told. I couldn’t get over what a hypocritical asshole he’d turned out to be. He was as bad as Charlie—no, worse. At least Charlie had…
No, never mind. Charlie was worse. Charlie had pretended to be a perfect guy when really he was a pussy-eating cheater. Waylon had never pretended to be nice, or that he was on my side. I was the one who’d been stupid enough to trust him. And look what I got for it.
He’d never wanted me on the ranch, and he’d never hidden it. He hadn’t wanted me to rent out the cabins, hadn’t wanted me to interfere, even if it was to help. He had to be in control of everything, all the time. Even when my mother found out about us.
He’d found the one sure way to make me leave, and he’d gone ahead with it. The looks on his brothers’ faces had told me that it wasn’t a group decision, no matter how much they liked to say they made all decisions together. It was clear that Waylon was the leader, and what he said was law. He’d gone behind all our backs, betrayed us all.
And now I was going to be out of his life, just like he wanted. As unfair as it was to his two brothers who had liked me, he hadn’t cared. And I knew I couldn’t stay for them. I couldn’t live in a house where someone was scheming against me.
If I’d been unsure when I rode out there, I wasn’t anymore. I knew what I had to do, no matter what I’d wanted. My dreams were once more shattered. Just like when Charlie had cheated, my heart felt raw and empty. I wasn’t going to go off to college with my perfect boyfriend. I wasn’t going to live my fantasy with three hot cowboys, either. And I wasn’t going to travel the world with my best friend. My life, my plans, had crumbled at my feet. I had nothing left. No plans, no goals.
I might as well go to the college my parents had chosen, study political science, and become an uptight, pill-popping senator just like my mother.
She’d gotten what she wanted after all. I’d come out here to escape the media, and I had. And I’d sure as hell learned some things. Maybe not about responsibility, but I’d sure as shit learned not to trust anyone. And I’d definitely done some growing up, through the very painful lessons I was learning.
I took off Van Gogh’s saddle and bridle, though I could tell she wanted more time to run. I hadn’t exercised her enough, but I couldn’t stand to be there a second longer than I had to.
Inside the house, I threw all my stuff in my suitcases, fury finally drying up my tears. I couldn’t believe I’d let myself think Waylon was kind enough to give up his room for me. He wasn’t kind, he was a sneaky snake. And I’d let him do a lot more than give up his room for me. I’d let him see me at my most vulnerable, had let him bring me to helpless orgasm, make me scream and beg for more. He must have loved that, the twisted bastard. All the while he was plotting to crush my heart, probably to get back at all women for the devastation his ex had caused. What a sociopath.
When I’d finished shoving all my stuff into suitcases, I dropped onto the edge of the bed to unplug my charger. I didn’t have a ride yet, and who knew where the nearest taxi was. Probably like an hour away. I’d packed in such a hurry I hadn’t thought about how I was going to get out of there. Calling an Uber turned out to be a better option, so after I’d ordered a car, I settled down to wait. And because I was too furious to sit still and stew in my anger, I called Haley.
It wasn’t like my mother was going to call her and tell her I was on my way home. She’d probably lock me in my room, take away my phone and all access to the outside world, and cut a little slot in the door where she could feed me trays of prison food.
Okay, so maybe I was being dramatic. She’d probably just send me to a convent.
“So my mom found out,” I said when Haley answered.
“No fucking way,” she squealed. “I swear to God it wasn’t me. I didn’t say anything. And I couldn’t have blacked it out because I haven’t been drunk in at least a month.”
“A month?” I asked. “It should be more like two and a half.”
“Not important,” Haley said. “Let’s just focus on you right now, shall we?”
“I know you didn’t tell my mother,” I said. “Waylon did.”
“What?” Haley screamed, validating my own feelings exactly. I knew she’d never let me down.
“Right? I mean, he’s basically fucked up this whole situation not just for me, but for himself. But whatever. Just wanted you to know that my mom got me a plane ticket and I’m on my way home tonight.”
“Oh my God, yay,” she said. “But also, are you sure about this?”
“Um, yes,” I said. “I basically confronted him, and he didn’t deny it. Too bad for him. I’m just glad I didn’t waste my virginity on that psycho.”
“Yeah, but I mean, are you sure you’re coming home? Because you seem to really like it there. Not that I blame you, I mean, New York can be intense. I figured you’d stay there at least through next fall, when you go off to college.”
“Really? You thought I was staying?”
“Um, hello, yes? You have three hot cowboys at your beck and call. If you don’t want them, I just might take your place. If it’s cool with you, I mean.”
“Don’t even joke.”
“See, that’s what I mean. You love them, Amber. You’re really going to give up on them this easily?”
“He told my mom.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know,” I said, throwing up my hands. “Does it matter? I can never trust him again.”
“Maybe,” she said. “I’d just hear him out. Like you said, he’s giving up something, too. Your sweet, sweet ass.”
“Shut up.”
“Seriously. If he’s really a pig, wouldn’t he have hooked up with you and then sent you packing? Not that I’ve ever had such an experience. But I’ve heard it through the grapevine.”
I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t help laughing. Haley could write a book on dating jerks. “Did you really think I’d skip out on our trip around the world?”
“Did you really think your mom would let you go? Come on, Amber. She was never going to pay for that.”
“Well, she’s definitely not going to now.”
“Hey, listen, I have to tell you something,” Haley said, her voice going more serious. “While you’ve been gone, Mom and my stepdad have made me do community service, right?”
“Yeah…”
“Well, I kind of fell in love with it. I’m actually going to Nicaragua to build houses for a while.”
“Wait, are you serious? That’s amazing, Haley! I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”
“Eh, I figured you’d
call me a nerd.”
“I might call you a bitch for not telling me,” I said. “But wow. That’s exciting.”
“Which means I’m getting away, too,” she said. “Maybe I’ll find three sexy Nicaraguan cowboys of my own.”
As it sunk in that I’d be home alone without Haley, my heart dropped like a stone. This was worse than being dumped by Charlie. At least I could talk to her on the phone about that. Now she’d be halfway across the world. Okay, not that far, but we probably couldn’t have endless phone conversations, if she even had service where she was going.
“So you’ve been planning this, just assuming that I’m going to stay here forever?”
“Maybe not forever, but definitely for a while. Why wouldn’t you?”
“Well, besides the jerk who went behind my back, there’s the small matter of my mother not letting me.”
“Baby girl, I hate to break it to you, but you actually had an eighteenth birthday. You’re an adult. You don’t have to do what your mother says.”
“True. But she already bought my ticket, so it’s a little late to change my mind now.”
“Would it actually be changing your mind, though?” she asked. “Or did your mother just buy the ticket and assume you’ll do whatever she says because you want her approval so bad?”
“You know me so well,” I said, flopping back on the bed.
“So maybe it’s good that he told her. It’s your chance to tell your mother that you’re not going to be her political puppet. She doesn’t have to agree with your decisions or your lifestyle. And holding out her love because you’re not doing what she wants is just shitty. She’s supposed to be your mom, not your codependent boyfriend.”
“Wow, are you sure you’re going to build houses, not practice psychology?”
“Hey, I’m a woman of many talents.”
I sat up, listening. The sound of tires on the gravel drive made my heart flop like a beached fish in my chest. “The Uber’s here,” I said. “I have to go.”
23
Waylon
I stood at the door, watching Amber come down the stairs. Her hair was all tangled after riding, though her cheeks had returned to their normal color. She was wrangling two suitcases down the stairs with the determination of a woman on a mission. I knew pissed off when I saw it.
“Who’s that?” I asked, nodding towards the window.
“None of your damn business,” Amber said. “For all you know, it’s my secret boyfriend.”
“You didn’t have to call someone to take you to the airport,” I said. “We would have done it.”
“Oh, I bet you would,” she said. “I bet you’d enjoy every second of dumping me off and being rid of me. But hey, this way, I’m saving you a trip. And you get to be rid of me a whole day earlier.” She stopped at the bottom of the stairs to catch her breath after fighting her suitcases. Shaking her hair back, she looked me dead in the eye.
Damned if she didn’t look like she wanted to murder me. I couldn’t fault her for that. But I had to do right by my family, and sometimes, that meant doing wrong by someone else. And sometimes, it meant doing right by someone else even when she didn’t see it that way.
“I’m sorry to see you go,” I said.
“Oh, I bet,” she said. “That’s why you called my mother and told her I was about to hook up with all three of my stepbrothers. Because that would definitely keep me from going anywhere, right?”
“Why prolong the inevitable?” I asked. “You were going to leave in a few weeks, anyway. Why pretend different?”
“You don’t know that,” she snapped. “You don’t know shit. I might have stayed. But I guess now you’ll never know. And to think I was going to give you my virginity. I guess I should thank you for keeping me from making that mistake.”
“You ought to.”
“God, you’re infuriating!” She picked up the handles of her suitcases and headed for the door.
I was still standing in front of it, though, so she had to stop and face me. I could see all that pain on her face, underneath the defiance, and it almost killed me to know I’d put it there. But I didn’t let on. “You telling me you really want to share something that special with a few guys you’d only spend a few more weeks with? You wouldn’t regret it later?”
“You don’t get to tell me what to do with my pussy anymore,” she said, staring me down. “If I want to give my virginity to the Uber driver, it’s none of your business. You could have had all this, but you had to be a backstabbing bitch, just like my ex.”
“I had to do what’s right for all of us,” I said, grabbing her shoulders. She tried to pull away, but I kept my grip. “I know you’d regret it, whether you know it or not. And I know that fucking you would have made things a hell of a lot harder for all four of us than they are now. Watching you leave is hell on earth, Amber. But it would have been that much worse if we’d gotten a real taste of what our lives could be like first.”
“Then thanks for thinking of me,” she said, wrenching herself free. “Now kindly get the fuck out of my way, Waylon Westling.”
She threw my name at me like a curse.
“I might have forced your hand,” I said. “But I’m not forcing you to leave. I’m not the one walking out that door.”
“You’re right,” she said, holding her head up high. “I am.”
And with that, she shoved past me, dragging her ridiculous New York suitcases that were so big they nearly plowed me down. I followed her out onto the porch, but I wasn’t going to beg. I’d made my case, and it wasn’t what she’d wanted to hear.
Sawyer jogged across the front yard and grabbed her suitcases, silently helping her load them into the trunk of the car that had come for her. Holden joined them, and before she could get in, he wrapped his arms around her. My chest tightened, and a pain started up like I was having a heart attack. I watched Sawyer hug her, too, and then she got in the car.
That’s when my boots came unstuck.
I crossed the yard in a few strides, but before I could reach for the door, the car had pulled out. I held in the shout trying to find a way out of me, making me look weak as hell. Instead, I stood with my brothers, and we watched Amber disappear from our lives.
24
Amber
As the car headed for the airport, I shoved in my earbuds and leaned my head back, closing my eyes so the Uber driver would get the hint and not talk to me. Usually, I liked talking to just about anyone, including taxi and Uber drivers, who always had cool stories. But I just didn’t have it in me today.
Waylon’s words kept replaying in my mind, circling back on themselves. How dare he make excuses, like what he’d done was excusable? Like it was somehow best for all of us if my mother knew who I was screwing. What a complete asshole. At least Charlie had had the decency not to pretend it was good for us when I’d caught him cheating. He hadn’t said he was practicing for when we hooked up or anything ridiculous like that. Yes, he’d asked me to join, but at that point, what else could he say?
Waylon, though, he had no excuse. My mother had been carrying on her life, probably not sparing a single thought for what I was doing out in Wyoming. And he’d just shoved it right in her face, and now I was getting shipped back like a disgraced woman. How was that good for me? Now not only did everyone in town think I was a whore, but my own mother did. I wanted to slap everyone who’d ever made me out to be a slut and tell them, Hello, I’m still a freaking virgin!
But no one would believe me. I mean, what kind of idiot would spend over two months living with the three hottest cowboys in the world and not get it on with at least one of them?
And okay, I wasn’t exactly pure, just because my hymen was intact. I’d had some pretty epic orgasms, thanks to Waylon the Rat. The first time we’d met, he’d said he didn’t want to be a half-assed type guy. But he must have been okay being a jackass. So fuck him.
I’d gotten an orgasm from Holden, anyway. I didn’t need Waylon. And I’d manag
ed to give Sawyer a couple orgasms, too. I wasn’t ashamed of it, either. Maybe he was my stepbrother, but I was damn proud of that accomplishment. I’d worked hard for at least one of those orgasms.
So maybe I was a big slut, but I really didn’t care. If anything, I wished I’d slutted it up a little more while I was out there. Waylon was wrong about that. I wouldn’t have regretted it when I got home. The only thing I regretted was not doing more.
If I was going to hook up with my stepbrothers, if I was going to have a big old orgy, what was the point of holding out? What was the point of dragging it out? I should have gone all in. Orgies weren’t the kind of thing you did halfway, with uncertainty. Like Waylon had also told me the very first time we met, he was a “go big or go home” type of guy. Apparently, he required that in a woman, too. I hadn’t been willing to go big, so he’d sent me home.
In truth, I had been a little intimidated by the idea. It was a turn-on for sure, but it was a fantasy. The reality was a little scary. I mean, I’d never even been fucked by one guy with a normal-sized dick, let alone three stallions at once. Of course I’d been dragging my feet. I should have just gone through with it. Now I’d never know, and I’d be thinking about it for the rest of my natural life.
Remember that time I went to Wyoming and…didn’t fuck those three hot cowboys?
What kind of lame-ass memory was that? Was I going to live with that giant what-if hanging over my head for the rest of my life? And oh, shit, what if our families wanted to do holidays together, and I had to see them with some other woman they found, one who didn’t wimp out on them? I’d never know what would have happened if I’d stayed and given them a chance. They’d committed, had offered me everything. And I’d waffled.
But if I was going to ask them to commit, wasn’t it only fair that they ask me for just as much? Waylon had told me to decide, was I going to stay on and give them a chance or not? And I hadn’t given him an answer. Sure, it was a dick move for him to force my hand, but it was also kind of a dick move for me not to have given them an answer. Even if the answer had been that I was going home after the three months was up. At least they would have known. It was shitty of me to leave them hanging.
Ride Me, Cowboys: A Reverse Harem Forbidden Romance (Coyote Ranch Book 3) Page 9