Toni L.P. Kelner - Laura Fleming 07 - Mad as the Dickens

Home > Other > Toni L.P. Kelner - Laura Fleming 07 - Mad as the Dickens > Page 6
Toni L.P. Kelner - Laura Fleming 07 - Mad as the Dickens Page 6

by Toni L. P. Kelner


  “To make sure you’re not faking?”

  I had to laugh.

  We were about to start in on the stack of presents when Vasti burst in the front door, looking more than a little harried. There was a run in her stockings, she’d forgotten to put on lipstick, and her shoes didn’t match her skirt. Instead of an extravagantly wrapped gift, she was carrying a wrinkled Belk’s shopping bag. Motherhood was really taking its toll on my cousin.

  “I’m sorry I’m late,” she said, though she made it sound as if it was our fault for starting without her. “I was on the phone all morning, and Bitsy was so cranky that it took me forever to get her fed, and Grandmama was late getting to my house.” She stopped just long enough to take a breath. “Then Bitsy threw up all over my dress, and I had to change into the first thing I could find.”

  “You look fine,” Aunt Daphine said. “Come sit down and I’ll get you a cup of punch.”

  Vasti let herself be led to the couch, and in an aggrieved tone said, “I suppose Laurie Anne has told you all about Seth Murdstone.”

  No wonder she was aggravated. She wasn’t worried about being beaten to the punch bowl; she was worried about being beaten to the punch with the news.

  “Actually, I hadn’t mentioned it,” I said, trying not to smile when her face lit up. “I wasn’t sure it was appropriate to talk about it at a baby shower.”

  Her face fell again. “Maybe I shouldn’t talk about it either—”

  “We’ve already heard the news,” Aunt Nora said, “but we don’t know all the details.” She and Vasti looked at me hopefully.

  “It’s not going to bother me to talk about it,” I said—especially since Junior and I had already discussed it over lunch. Besides, I was afraid that Vasti would burst if she didn’t get a chance to tell the tale.

  Everybody listened in as Vasti told us about Seth’s death, and I was impressed that she gave such an accurate recitation of the facts. She hadn’t even been there when Seth was found, and besides, she usually embroidered the facts to make a better story. Of course, knowing that several of the rest of us had been there may have kept her on the straight and narrow.

  “That’s awful,” Aunt Ruby Lee said. “Seth was such a nice man. To have that happen in broad daylight …”

  “Do they have any idea of who might have done it?” Aunt Nora asked.

  “I talked to Mark Pope a little while ago,” Vasti said. “He hasn’t made any arrests yet, but he thinks it’s mighty interesting that Seth was found right next to a door to the outside.”

  I knew Vasti was waiting for a cue, but I had to ask, “Meaning what?”

  “Isn’t it obvious?” Vasti asked. “Somebody came in that door, thinking there was nobody around. Must have meant to make off with whatever he could find. When he saw Seth standing there, he panicked and hit him. Or maybe Seth caught him in the act.”

  I looked over at Junior to see her reaction to this piece of speculation, but she avoided my eyes. “Is that the best Mark can do?” I asked. “Somebody just happened to come by—in broad daylight, like Aunt Ruby Lee said—and walked in the door at the exact moment when Seth was standing there. And he just happened to be carrying something heavy enough to hit Seth with, which he did so quickly and quietly that nobody noticed it.”

  “Maybe nobody heard anything because Richard was having one of his tantrums,” Vasti shot back.

  “Maybe,” I said through gritted teeth, “but I think it’s darned unlikely that a thief would be stupid enough to break into a building with all our cars parked outside.”

  “Then why do you think the killer came in that door?”

  “Maybe he didn’t come in the door.”

  “You don’t think it was somebody in the play, do you?” Aunt Nora asked anxiously.

  “I don’t know,” I said, “but if it was somebody from outside, Seth must have arranged to meet him there.”

  “What do you think, Junior?” Aunt Daphine asked.

  Junior said, “Haven’t you heard? I’m on vacation, so I’m not entitled to an opinion.”

  I think everybody was so surprised that Junior was really going to stay away from a murder investigation that nobody had anything else to say. After a minute or two of uncomfortable silence, Aunt Nora said, “I’m just sorry that it ruined your play, Vasti.”

  “Oh, don’t be sorry,” Vasti said. “The play is back on!”

  “Are you serious?” I said. “There’s no way the Murdstones are going to want to be in that play now.”

  “Yes, they are,” Vasti said triumphantly. “That’s part of the reason I was on the phone so long this morning.”

  “Vasti!” Aunt Daphine said. “You shouldn’t have bothered them about a silly play at a time like this.”

  “I didn’t bother them,” she said, trying to look innocent. “I only called Florence to make a condolence call, and to see when the services were going to be. Then we got to talking about what a shame it was that the play couldn’t go on now, what with it being in honor of poor Barnaby. Florence said she wished there was something she could do, but I said that of course nobody would expect her and Jake and David to take part after what had happened. Then I told her I had to go because I had to call the Shriners’ Hospital. I’d promised free tickets for the show to some of the children there, and I needed to tell them they couldn’t come. Well, Florence said not to say anything to them right away, and that she’d call me back in a little while.”

  She stopped and took a swallow of punch. “A few minutes later, Florence called back. She’d spoken to David and Jake and said that when they thought about Barnaby, they just couldn’t stand to let him down. They knew that Seth would have hated to have been the cause of canceling a play in his own grandson’s honor, so they decided to do their best to keep going.” Seeing the expressions of everybody else in the room, Vasti added, “Naturally, we’ll take time off for the funeral.”

  Aunt Daphine just shook her head, but she couldn’t have been all that surprised. It was vintage Vasti.

  “I’ve called everybody else in the show and they’re all willing. It took a while to convince Junior’s sisters that the kids would be safe, but I told them that Junior would be there and that she wouldn’t let anybody else get killed. Right, Junior?”

  “I’ll do my best,” Junior said dryly.

  Vasti said, “The only folks I haven’t called are y’all here at the shower, but now we’re all set!”

  “Haven’t you forgotten something?” I asked.

  “What? I called Mark Pope to make sure he was done at the recreation center so we could get back in for rehearsal this evening.” She checked her watch. “You better hurry up and open your presents, Laurie Anne; I’ve got lots to do before then.”

  “What about …?”

  “Oh, don’t worry about Richard. He’s ready and raring to go. Though he’s got to do something about that temper of his.”

  “Vasti,” I said, “we don’t have anybody to play Scrooge.”

  She waved the objection away. “Oh, we’ll find somebody.”

  “Who? I thought that Sally had everybody else in town committed.”

  “Then we’ll shuffle around the people we’ve got. You’re being a Scrooge yourself, Laurie Anne. Don’t you want your husband’s play to be a success?”

  “Of course I do, but—” I stopped because there wasn’t any real reason to argue. If anybody could produce a Scrooge out of thin air, it was Vasti.

  After that, Aunt Nora steered us to opening presents, and talk turned to sleepers, booties, and rattles. It’s amazing how a pair of sneakers suddenly becomes adorable when sized for a newborn. I’d never said, “Oh, how cute!” so many times in my life. The present I liked best was the bassinet I’d slept in myself. It had been freshly sanded, painted, and cushioned, and it matched perfectly the baby furniture Richard and I had picked out.

  Once the presents were opened, I caught Aunt Ruby Lee cuddling the stuffed bear dressed like Sherlock Holmes that Junior had
given me. She said, “You ought to put this up for yourself, as a memento. I know you’re going to miss solving mysteries once the baby gets here.”

  “What do you mean?” Though I knew I had to take it easy while pregnant, I hadn’t been worried about changes to my life after that. But Aunt Ruby Lee looked shocked, as did the other mothers nearby.

  “You won’t have the energy, for one,” Vasti said. “You have no idea how rough nighttime feedings are.”

  “And forget about spare time, especially if you keep working,” my cousin Sue put in. “By the time you put the baby to bed, and maybe clean up a little, you’re not going to want to do anything but sleep.”

  “You and Linwood must do something other than sleep,” Ilene said with a giggle, “or you wouldn’t have but the one kid!”

  Everybody laughed at that, but even though I joined in, I felt unhappy. Was it really going to be that bad?

  Aunt Nora must have realized what I was thinking. She put an arm around me and said, “Don’t you worry. You know Vasti and Sue always make things out to sound worse than they are. Your life isn’t going to change that much.”

  “Did things stay pretty much the same for you and Uncle Buddy when y’all started having babies?” I asked.

  “Lord, Laurie Anne, that was so long ago I can hardly remember,” she said with a laugh. “Sure, the boys kept me busy, but I knew then they wouldn’t be little forever, and once they got big enough, I’d be able to do whatever I wanted to.”

  “How big is big enough?” I asked. Richard and I liked going to movies, and to plays, and to all kinds of places. Were we going to have to put all of that on hold until the baby hit high school? What if we had another baby? How many years would that add to our sentence?

  “Now don’t get yourself worked up,” Aunt Nora said. “Look at Vasti. She’s still doing what she likes to do.”

  “True.” Of course, she didn’t work full-time, and goodness knows the play wasn’t up to her usual standards.

  “What are you two looking so serious about?” Aunt Daphine asked.

  “Laurie Anne’s worried that she won’t have any time to herself once the baby shows up,” Aunt Nora said.

  “Y’all are the ones who said I wouldn’t be able to do the things I’ve been doing,” I objected.

  “You don’t mean messing with killers, do you?” Aunt Daphine said. “Why would you want to do that once you’ve got a baby?”

  Now they were making it sound as if my helping people in trouble had been a twisted replacement for motherhood. “All I’m saying is that I don’t see why having a baby will change everything. I’m going to be the same person, aren’t I?”

  “Of course you are,” Aunt Daphine said. “It’s just that you’re going to be a lot busier than you are now. Your priorities are going to be different.”

  “So other than me having no time to sleep or do what I like to do, and suddenly having a completely different set of goals, everything will be the same. Is that right?”

  My two aunts looked at each other uneasily. Aunt Nora said, “You knew things were going to change once you had a baby, didn’t you? You and Richard did plan this baby.”

  “Of course we did, and we knew things were going to be different.” I looked down at my tummy, thinking how Richard had said that the play might be his last chance to direct for a long time. “I guess I’m just starting to realize how different. I’m not sure I’m up to it.” Despite myself, my eyes started to tear.

  The two of them converged on me in a double hug.

  “Don’t even think that!” Aunt Daphine said. “You’re going to be a wonderful mama.”

  “You bet you are,” Aunt Nora said, nodding vigorously. “You’re just tired out from all the excitement. Carrying a baby is hard on a body, you know. Vasti says she read that when you’re pregnant, just sitting down is as much work as climbing a mountain when you’re not.”

  Aunt Daphine said, “My moods were up and down the whole time I was pregnant with Vasti—that’s all that’s happening with you.”

  “Pregnant women worry about everything, especially the first time,” Aunt Nora said. “You just need something to take your mind off yourself.”

  Aunt Daphine snapped her fingers. “I know just the thing! What about Seth’s murder? You’ve got one last chance to go after a killer!” She said it the way you’d suggest a trip to the park to a bored child during summer vacation, but before I could complain, Aunt Nora broke in.

  “I don’t know if that’s a good idea, what with Laurie Anne being as far along as she is.”

  “She’s made it through the first trimester, which is the worst time,” Aunt Daphine pointed out, “and she’ll have Richard with her to make sure she stays out of trouble.”

  “But Daphine, Richard is going to be busy with the play!”

  “That’s right. What about Thaddeous? Laurie Anne said he was a big help when he was in Boston.”

  Aunt Nora shook her head. “Don’t you remember? He’s gone to Boston with Michelle to visit her family and won’t be back until Christmas morning.”

  The two of them turned toward me as if I were a particularly sticky problem they had to solve, but they still didn’t bother to ask what I thought. I was trying to come up with a polite way to tell them to mind their own business when Junior walked up.

  “How are y’all doing?” she asked, far too innocently. I’d lay odds that she’d heard our entire conversation.

  “Junior?” Aunt Nora said, looking at Aunt Daphine.

  “Junior!” Aunt Daphine replied, nodding.

  “Yes?” Junior said, looking from one to the other.

  Aunt Nora said, “Junior, you’re just the person we want to talk to. Seth Murdstone’s killing might be Laurie Anne’s last chance to solve a murder for a while, but Richard’s going to be busy with the play, and in her condition, she doesn’t need to be running around on her own. We were thinking that you and she could work together on this one, seeing as you’re on vacation.”

  Junior pretended to consider it. “I’m supposed to be keeping an eye on my nieces and nephews… .”

  “That’s no problem; the triplets can help. Those children are as good as gold anyway.”

  “It might work,” Junior said, rubbing her chin. “If it’s all right with Laurie Anne, I’d be glad to help out.”

  “Of course it’s all right,” Aunt Nora said, beaming. “Doesn’t that make you feel better, Laurie Anne?”

  “Much better,” I said. I don’t know if the smile on my face looked at all real, because I was steaming on the inside.

  The two aunts went to tell Ideile, Odelle, and Carlelle what they’d just committed them to, and once they were out of earshot, I said, “Junior, did you put them up to this?”

  “Not me,” she said, still trying to look innocent.

  “Can you believe this? First they say I won’t be able to do this anymore. Then they decide I can, but only this one last time and only if I have a chaperon. Since when does being pregnant mean that I don’t get to make my own decisions?”

  “They’re just worried about you.”

  “I know that, but it’s still aggravating.”

  “Families are like that. So don’t feel like you have to tackle this if you don’t feel up to it.”

  “Of course I feel up to it,” I snapped. “I’m pregnant, not an invalid.” I knew I was contradicting what I’d said to Junior over lunch, but I was too mad to care.

  “That’s fine,” Junior said. “Of course, you don’t have to work with me. I’ll come up with an excuse for your aunts, and you can go ahead on your own.”

  “Come on, Junior, maybe you didn’t orchestrate this with my aunts, but you sure as heck laid the groundwork. If I don’t let you in on this, I’ll never hear the end of it—from them or you.”

  “That’s true.” She grinned, abandoning all pretense of innocence.

  I glared at her. Of course it was a good idea. Even if I hadn’t been pregnant, it wouldn’t have b
een smart to go asking possibly dangerous questions without backup, and with Richard back at work on the play, Junior was the best candidate around. It could even be fun to work with her; goodness knows we’d worked against each other before. “Let’s give it a shot.”

  “That would be great,” she said. “The fact is, I’ve always wanted to see how it is you go about solving a case.”

  “Really? I always figured you thought I was going about everything ass-backwards.”

  “I never argue with results, and you’ve gotten them time and time again—even when I’ve been completely in the dark.”

  “Thank you,” I said, but now I was getting suspicious. Though Christmastime is usually green in North Carolina, I was smelling snow. A snow job, that is. “Junior, you’re not just wanting to do this because you’re bored with vacation, are you?”

  “That’s part of it.”

  “And part of it’s because you want to get back at Mark Pope for trying to get your job?”

  “You bet,” she said, not at all repentant.

  Something was still niggling at me, but I didn’t know what. “There’s more to it, isn’t there?”

  Now she stopped smiling. “If I told you that there was, but that I couldn’t tell you what, would you back out?”

  I thought about it for a minute. I’d known Junior a long time, and we’d been through a lot together. There’d been times when I’d asked her to trust me and she’d done it. Surely I owed her the same. “No, Junior, I wouldn’t back out.”

  “Then let’s leave it at that.”

  “Okay,” I said, and I stuck out my hand. “Partners?”

  Junior gave my hand a firm shake. “Partners.”

  Chapter 9

  I would have liked to corner Aunt Nora then. Since she’d pushed me so hard, the least she could do was provide gossip on Seth and his family. But the shower was winding down, so everybody pitched in to load the presents into Aunt Maggie’s battered Dodge Caravan. Of course, Aunt Nora couldn’t resist sending along enough leftovers to feed a small army. Or one pregnant Burnette, I thought to myself as I snagged another deviled egg. Maybe my child was going to be born up North, but I was going to do my best to make sure she ate like a Southerner.

 

‹ Prev