“Was she interested in trying, do you think?”
“I don't know.” Normally he would have been blushing to talk about something so intimate with his mother, but his cheeks were cold in the wind and he didn't know who else to turn to. “I can't remember.”
“Well, if that is what happened, you should take some comfort from the knowledge that your father did exactly the same thing to me when we first met. It's nothing to be ashamed of.”
“What isn't?”
“Fear, of course.”
“Goddess.” Now Chu thought he was frightened? His day was deteriorating fast. “I can't imagine Dad turning you down.” He wasn't sure he wanted to think about it in any detail.
His mother seemed to understand that much, at least. “It's a long story. I'll tell you one day, when all this is over. But it worked out for the best, I think.” She put a hand on his arm, where one of the bruises from Pirelius's whip lay.
“Ouch.”
“Sorry.” She laughed. “You Van Haasterens are a fragile lot. If only you'd taken after me.”
He couldn't help a bad-tempered scowl. Fragility, it seemed, was something else he had inherited from his father. Why couldn't Skender be tall like him, too, to make up for it?
“What are you going to do now?” he asked, to turn the subject back to her. “Go back home to Dad?”
“Not just yet.” She flexed her injured leg and winced. “The Aad is flooded, but I'm hoping the tunnels might still be clear. The Caduceus is in there somewhere. It's just a matter of fishing it out.”
“Why?”
“Why not?”
He didn't have a good answer to that, just a bad one. “You know it won't be complete. Kail took a piece of it with him.”
“I do know that, but it's still an important find. And who knows where Kail will reappear again? Alive or dead, he might still have the fragment on him.” She ran a hand across her close-cropped hair, reaching for the braids that weren't there any more. “What about you? You've found me, so you're free to go back to the Keep, to your father. Is that what you're going to do?”
“I don't know.” The Sky Wardens intended to keep looking for the twins, if they were still alive. At the same time they would investigate the source of the flood and the mysterious Angel that appeared to be driving the man'kin migration. Something was going on in the Hanging Mountains, and it was important to know what that was, in case it spread.
Just because Skender could follow Marmion's reasoning, that didn't mean he had to be part of it. He could leave in good conscience and begin the long trek home that very moment, if he wanted to. He simply wasn't sure, yet, what he would be leaving behind if he did.
Out on the water, the heavy lifter had stopped and lowered ropes tipped with grapnels and hooks. Its stern dipped low under the weight of something it had snared. Skender could just make out Tom and Banner gesticulating and calling instructions to the yadachi crew. The two Engineers would probably be happy in Laure for months, trawling the water for arcane finds. How was Marmion intending to travel upstream anyway? There were no boats in Laure, and buses could only go so far over the increasingly mountainous terrain. He doubted Marmion would get within a kilometre of a heavy lifter again.
It was a fool's errand. He had no part to play in it.
“Chu was here earlier,” said his mother.
“Really? Why didn't you tell me?”
“I thought I'd hear your side of the story first.”
“There's a story? What did she say?”
“I think you need to ask her that, not me.”
“How did she look? Where is she now?”
“She looked pretty happy, actually. Her licence has been renewed.”
“Did she say where she was going?”
“No.”
Skender knew anyway. If she had her licence again, there was only one possible place. “Thanks, Mum.” He levered himself upright. “I'll see you later.”
“No doubt.”
He hurried along the Wall, retracing his steps. As he passed Sal and Shilly, they had stopped talking and were watching the heavy lifter's progress.
“Look!” Shilly said. “It's the body of a hullfish, like the one Os is carved from!”
He barely glanced to his left. Noting the enormous white carcass dangling from the rear of the heavy lifter, but not immediately making the connection with the Alcaide's charmed ship, he simply waved and kept going.
Her licence. Skender's heart beat fast as the cab wound its way to the armoury. It seemed to take an inordinately long time to get anywhere.
A new fear had struck him. What if his interpretation of the argument was wrong? What if the hurt and anger had been on his side, not hers? What if he had misunderstood the situation completely, and he was the rejected one, not her?
He remembered the Magister saying to Chu, earlier that week: The moment I give you your licence back, you will abandon this young man to his fate. Your intentions are transparent to me.
The taxi driver turned around to ask him a question, and for an instant Skender was certain he was the same one he'd charmed three days earlier. His heart tripped a beat and he swore that he would make amends on that score the very next day. But it wasn't the same man. This driver's head was full of grey hair, and his ears hung low under the weight of several gold hoops.
Skender stammered an answer. Yes, he was from out of town; no, he wasn't interested in a good price on Ruin fragments.
“Hasn't Magister Considine frozen trade in artefacts until the flood situation is clarified?” he asked.
The driver took the hint and went back to driving in silence.
Skender stewed all the way to the armoury, wondering how people without his perfect memory coped under the burden of so much uncertainty. It was devouring him from within. He knew he should be deciding what he was going to do in the coming days, but until he had filled the void in his mind he couldn't contemplate anything else. A builder wouldn't begin walls or a roof without finishing the foundations first. How could he move into the future without a rock-solid guarantee of the past behind him?
Part of him was aware that he might be overreacting. He couldn't help it. He had to know where he stood with Chu. That particular mystery was more alarming than anything to do with Laure, the Divide, the twins, his parents—or anything else that came to mind.
The cab jerked to a halt at the base of the armoury, and he paid the fare. As he stepped out onto the familiar streets, he began to feel nervous. Finding out could be worse than being left in the dark. Perhaps some things were better left forgotten.
“Hey, stone-boy!”
Skender looked up to see Kazzo Niclais sauntering out of the armoury entrance, a folded wing slung under his arm like a plank of wood. Inwardly, he groaned.
“What do you want?”
“Just saw you standing out here, looking lost. You need directions?”
“That's okay. I know where I am.”
“Right, then.” The handsome flyer waved cockily and went to continue on his way.
“Wait,” said Skender, ignoring the throbbing in his head. “Have you seen Chu today?”
“Sure have, stone-boy. She took to the air a quarter-hour ago. Testing out her new licence.”
Distrusting Kazzo's word, Skender looked up and around him, seeking her out among the many wings in the air that afternoon. He did recognise her, swooping and gliding like an eagle over the Wall. Part of him ached to be up there, too, but that wasn't likely to happen soon. His licence, last seen flying off into a sandstorm with the quartermaster, had been most firmly revoked by the yadachi.
“Will she be up there long?”
“I wouldn't stand out here waiting for her, if that's what you're wondering. It's been a long time since she got to go solo. No offence, but flying with you just wasn't the same.”
Kazzo smirked. Skender didn't have the energy for resentment. “Thanks.”
“No problems, stone-boy.” Kazzo sauntered off a second ti
me, then stopped himself with an afterthought. “Hey, look, just to show there are no hard feelings, why don't you meet us at the Crown and Sceptre tonight. You look like you could use a drink.”
Skender couldn't think of a single use for alcohol at that moment except as an emetic. He squinted up at the brawny flyer, wondering if he was hearing a peace offering or charity.
“Who's we?” he asked, imagining a room full of cocky types like Kazzo, overwhelming with their good looks and scraggly beards and coarse humour.
“Me and Chu, of course. You can talk to her then. I'm sure that'd be okay.”
“You and—?” He stopped, hearing the subtle inflection in Kazzo's voice. Not charity or peace, but an excuse to use the phrase. “What?”
“You look surprised. Didn't she tell you?”
“Tell me what exactly?”
Holding the wing vertically in his muscular arms, Kazzo came back to Skender.
“Look, don't take this too hard, stone-boy, but you've been led down a bit of a merry path. Chu never wanted to be with you. She was just looking out for herself. And who can blame her for that? Things were pretty tough for a while there. She needed someone to help her out, and she was too wretchedly proud to ask me to take her back. You came along at just the right time. You helped her get her licence back. She needed the confidence boost.” A big hand clapped down on Skender's shoulder. “You did the right thing, man, and you've got a right to feel ripped off. I'm sorry.”
Kazzo did his best to feign sympathy, but there was no hiding a certain amount of gloating. Skender didn't know what to say. He felt as though the box containing all his Chu-related suspicion and paranoia had been torn open and its contents laid bare for the world to see. Every niggling doubt took on a new significance in the light of this possibility. She had made it clear right from the beginning that she hadn't been helping him out of the goodness of her heart; he had been under no illusions on that score, although later he had come to wonder. Now it seemed as if her motives had been even more self-centred than he could have imagined.
Chu had everything back. Not just her licence, but the respect of the other miners as well, and Kazzo. She didn't need Skender any more, and certainly wouldn't leave Laure in a screaming blue fit. Any romantic notions he might have entertained about her testing the updrafts of the Keep's cliff faces were just nonsense.
Some people might say that like should stick with like, she herself had said, or else you're asking for disaster.
He didn't wonder for longer than a second if Kazzo was lying. It all fitted together too well.
All I care about is my own skin…
“Are you all right?”
Skender was sick of people asking him that. “I'm fine, thanks.” He swore he would be, just to spite them all, as he looked around for another cab.
“Sorry you had to find out from me. She should really have told you before she went flying.”
“Right.” Perhaps she did it last night, Skender thought hopelessly to himself.
“Don't forget that drink, stone-boy.”
“I won't.” That was guaranteed. He had no intention of going, though. He'd rather tear out his heart and eat it raw.
“Okay, see you.” Kazzo rotated his wing smoothly back to horizontal and strode off down the street.
Skender decided to give up on the day. It was unlikely to improve, and he could think of several ways in which it could get worse. He went back to the Black Galah and locked the door to his room behind him. Pulling the curtains, he collapsed on the bed and closed his eyes. He felt like a complete, utter idiot. The pain in his head was nothing compared to the ache in his heart. If he didn't wake up until the Divide was dry again, that would be fine by him.
In his nightmare, the man'kin who had fled into Laure thudded heavily through the streets, searching for something. The amnesty the Magister had offered them was forgotten and they had burst through the walls of the boneyards where they had been living, waving human femurs like clubs. Skender walked among them, unnoticed, until he came face to face with the one who had raised him above its head on top of the Wall to show him the approaching flood. It blocked the road ahead of him, arms spread wide and low so he couldn't pass.
“ANGEL,” it said.
“Listen to it, rabbit,” hissed another voice from the shadows. “This is important.”
Skender twisted to see Rattails lying half in and half out of a garbage bin, his face permanently locked in a rictus of pain.
“Thought you'd got rid of me—didn't you, rabbit?”
“What are you doing in there?” Skender backed away, but the alley had closed shut behind him. He was trapped in a dead end with the grimacing bandit.
“I'm waiting for the rubbish collectors,” Rattails whispered, sitting up and crawling forward with slow, careful movements. Wilted lettuce leaves fell from his scars. “The time has come to sweep out the new and bring back the old.”
“Don't you mean—?”
“ANGEL WAITS,” boomed the giant man'kin.
Skender looked up in confusion. “Angel waits for what?”
“The end, of course.” Rattails lunged for Skender with twisted, clawlike hands, his teeth bared in a vengeful snarl. “You left me behind, rabbit!”
Skender leapt over the man'kin's giant arms and fled without looking back. Slapping footsteps followed him, and the sound of maniacal, pained laughter. His heart pounded as he tried to find his way back to the hostel. The streets had shifted, become those of the Aad. The ground was as dry as bone. Giant cracks appeared in the road and buildings, and the Wall protecting the city from the Divide suddenly split and peeled away. Instead of water, a tide of yellow sand poured forth in a giant wave to bury everything and everyone forever.
A key turned in the lock to his room. He sat up straight on the bed and blinked at the door as it opened.
“Oh, it's you,” said Chu, struggling under the bulk of her wing. Her head was still bound but the dressing was clean. “What are you doing here?”
“What are you doing here?”
“I asked first. I waited half an hour, but you didn't show up.” She looked around her in disbelief. “Have you been asleep the whole time?”
He stared at her. His headache had eased but the confusion in his thoughts was undiminished. Was she talking about the drinks with Kazzo? Why would she have wanted him there? And what was she doing here? How had she got in?
He had been dreaming about man'kin, and something about an endless yellow desert.
“What?” was the best he could manage as she manoeuvred the wing into one corner. A key tinkled onto the floor beside it.
“This is my room, remember? I moved in here while you were in the Aad.”
“As a matter of fact, I don't remember. I don't remember anything since last night.”
“Oh, sure. That's the lamest excuse I've ever heard for standing a girl up—especially coming from you.” She unzipped her patched leather top and stretched.
“But it's true!” He groaned and fell back onto the bed—and jerked back upright with a start. The bed had somehow become hers without him knowing. The Goddess only knew what she thought he was doing there.
Chu studied him with the beginnings of a frown. “Just how much did you drink last night?”
“I don't know.” He rubbed his temples. “Too much, obviously.”
“Do you remember being carried up here after we found you lying on the floor of bar, out cold?”
Horror gripped him. She had to be joking.
She laughed at the expression on his face. “You really don't remember a thing. This is hysterical.”
“It's not!” Some of his earlier frustration returned. He backed away from her, taking the covers with him, until he was leaning against the wall behind the bed. The bruises on his arms and chest stood out starkly on his pale skin.
“All right,” she said, sobering. “No, it's not. What's the last thing you remember?”
“Drinking. Then we argued. I thoug
ht—I don't know what I thought. And then I saw Kazzo. He told me that you two were meeting for a drink.”
It was her turn to look horrified. “When did you see him?”
“I went to the armoury to find you after Mum said you had your licence back. He invited me along.”
“What else did he say?”
“He said that you two were back together.” His mouth wanted to close shut on the terrible words and the vulnerability they would reveal. He forced them out. “That you were using me.”
“We were using each other. Wouldn't you say?”
He didn't know how to answer that question. It was hard enough just meeting her eyes.
“Let me tell you something,” she said, her expression very serious. “That day I found you in the tunnels, I did think of screwing you over. You were practically begging to be taken advantage of. And me? I really needed something to go right for a change. My Dad didn't leave much when he died, and that went when he was blamed for the crash. I could keep a roof over my head while I had my licence but when I lost that I had to move in with Kazzo for a bit. It soon became clear that he was only after one thing, and then I was out on the street, selling blood to survive—and that wasn't going to go well if it went on much longer.” She held out her arm and showed him the line of old cuts he had already noticed. “When I heard about this gormless Stone Mage looking for help, I knew you were an opportunity too good to pass up.”
“I'm sorry things didn't go according to plan.”
“They didn't, but that's not your fault. First the Magister screwed things up by giving you a licence, not me. Then we crashed and I was stuck with the Sky Wardens on the wrong side of the Divide. Things got really messy then. The further they waded into the shit the less likely it was I'd ever fly again. I still can't quite believe it's worked out so well, that I'm not in jail and I'm free to do whatever I want.” Her eyes didn't leave his. “And you know what? What I want isn't so obvious any more. If I've learned one thing in the last week, it's that the licence isn't as important as I thought it was. Sure, I'm happier with it than without it, but maybe it wasn't what I was really missing. Maybe I was looking for something else all along and not knowing it.”
The Blood Debt: Books of the Cataclysm Two Page 44