by Gini Koch
I can only imagine. Okay, here’s the thing—she and one other are the only conspirators left. If we can lock her up, we have them both in custody and can get information. If she’s out, we’re all still in danger.
I’ll see what I can do.
Felt the connection break. Christopher and Amy were in the room with us now, fully dressed. “It’s the usual for Operation Confusion. Alexander and Leonidas thought Chuckie had sent the Diplomatic Corps to help them. They couldn’t stand any of these people, meaning they’ve been stressed and so perhaps not doing everything the conspirators wanted. But it explains why none of their stuff is here.”
Jeff nodded. “Blow up the Embassy, make everyone think the Diplomatic Corps were all dead, they’re on Alpha Four, able to do their dirty work with none of us on Earth any the wiser.”
“Al Dejahl impersonated me?” Chuckie asked. He sounded thoughtful.
“I’d assume so. Alexander knows you too well for Amy’s dad to have been able to pull it off, or for them to send an actor, and Leonidas is too smart for them to risk someone giving an off answer. And, since LaRue and Al Dejahl were at our wedding, they got to see us all interacting with Alexander and Victoria, you in particular.” It was a creepy feeling in a boatload of creepy feelings, to know they’d been watching us, our every move, for years. Wondered if they’d made sex tapes of me and Jeff and, if so, if they’d been destroyed with the lab or not.
He laughed. “God, I love how you focus, baby.” Jeff rubbed the back of my neck. “What’s our next step?”
“No freaking idea. Chuckie? Christopher?”
Before they could answer, more knocking. Christopher got the door, and Gower and Reader came in. “ACE told me we have a problem,” Gower said by way of hello.
“Two problems.” Reader looked stressed.
“James, are you okay?”
He shook his head. “Al Dejahl’s gone.”
Let that sit on the air for a moment. “Anyone hurt? Or worse?”
“No one. It’s just like when they removed the prisoners during the invasion—Security had no idea, nothing was disturbed, looked into the room, gone.”
I looked at Jeff. “Where’s Clarence? And the rest of his family?” Jeff dialed. I looked back to Reader. “The Lilith-PPB net did that last time. Any guess what did it this time?”
“Wasn’t ACE,” Gower said dryly. “But I’ll let him talk to you, because I haven’t felt palsied for at least an hour and I miss it.” Wow, even Gower had a sarcasm knob. He twitched, and the ACE voice started. “Kitty, Alexander is upset.”
“Yes, thanks, big guy, I know that. Who got Ronaldo Al Dejahl out of his prison?”
“Alexander provided a small interstellar ship, because Alexander believed Chuckie had told Alexander to do so.”
We all exchanged the “this so sucks” look. “So, um, just guessing here, but that ship has the ability to beam someone up, and LaRue’s in it, and we can assume Al Dejahl’s beamed?”
“No.”
“Oh. Good news.”
“The ship is capable of interstellar flight. It is also protected by a small version of what ACE is and Lilith was. It is that which rescued the prisoner. However, Councillor Leonidas has deactivated it. The PPB portion. They are unable to deactivate the ship, though Councillor Leonidas tried.”
“So, good news is, they can’t beam my baby up. Bad news is, we have two evil, enhanced megalomaniacs out there, racing around in space.”
“Yes. Councillor Leonidas had tracking devices put onto the ship. All have been deactivated now, but Alexander says before the last one was deactivated, Alexander could tell the ship went to Earth, then left our solar system. It is not headed for Alpha Centauri, however.”
We all looked at each other again. “Live to fight another day. So . . . these two are actually smarter than the rest. Or at least LaRue is.”
“She’s a total fucking bitch. But, yeah, she’s smart.” Amy’s expression was as furious as her voice. She looked at Chuckie. “They killed my mom, didn’t they? LaRue and my dad.”
“Ah . . .” He shot me a desperate look.
Amy made the exasperation sound. “Chuck, for God’s sake. Kitty said you were always right. Just tell me, yes or no—did they kill my mother?”
I shrugged. “Go for it, dude. What choice do we have, really?”
Chuckie sighed and looked back to Amy. “Yes.”
Amy turned to Christopher. “Can we take a spaceship and go after them?”
Lots of coughing from the men. “Ah, Ames? We here on Earth don’t exactly have a spaceship capable of following them, or anyone else, really.”
“Why not? I mean, just borrow one from that Alexander guy. He’s handing them out like party favors!”
“We’ll go along,” Naomi offered.
Abigail nodded enthusiastically. “We’ll be able to track them, I’m sure.”
Other mouths were opening, but Gower’s opened first. “Kitty? ACE would like Amy to know that Alexander has offered to follow them.”
“ACE, please tell him no, thank you.”
CHAPTER 86
“WHAT?” THIS WASN’T JUST from Amy. Everyone other than Gower shouted that out.
Jamie fussed, and I got up and did the “in the Snugli” version of the Mommy Dance. “Guys, really. While I agree that the idea of pursuing the evildoers to the ends of the universe sounds all cool and whatnot, I’d like to point out a couple of things. One would be that Amy, Naomi, and Abigail are currently untrained in anything remotely resembling self-defense, weapons, or tactics.”
“Never stopped you, girlfriend,” Reader said with a grin.
“Per our latest set of megalomaniacs, I’m special. Two would be that we have just a tonnage of work that has to be done here, on Earth, to counter the latest decades-in-the-making elaborate ruse. Chuckie’s got a list of all their operatives—we have to make sure they’re hunted down, nullified, and give us their information. Three—we have a destroyed secret lab down under and a long tunnel going who knows where. Let’s get what we can out of both. Four would be that Richard already told us what our new jobs were to be, and, news flash, unless or until we’re actually assigned to another planet, this is the one we’re supposed to protect and serve.”
“They’ll come back.” Chuckie stated this as solid fact.
“Dude, no kidding. And in greater numbers, blah, blah, blah, seen that movie, too. Here’s my final news flash—we freaking need the rest to have a chance to regroup, adjust, assimilate, and all that jazz. What’s wrong with you people? I have a freaking newborn here who’s the target for our fave power couple. I want to be ready when they come back, not go running off like a moron so they can have a chance of success.”
Everyone was staring at me, in shock, as near as I could tell. Gower nodded. “Councillor Leonidas agrees with Kitty. ACE agrees with Kitty, too.” Gower did the twitch. “Fun as always.”
“Why are all of you staring at me?”
“Because we’re so used to you running off like a moron,” Christopher supplied.
“Yeah? Well, I’m always right when I do it. Unlike some of you I could name.”
Jeff nodded. “Yeah, you are, actually. Speaking of Clarence, Sylvia and the kids are with my parents, no idea where my great brother-in-law is. Richard, what do you want to do?”
White shrugged. “Missus Martini, sitting as she does at the top of our enemies’ Most Wanted list, has the floor, so to speak. If she doesn’t want to race off, I’d assume it means we shouldn’t.”
“See?”
Jeff shook his head. “You’re proud you’re number one on the hit list?”
“Yeah. The bad guys’ evil computer said I’d single-handedly destroyed at least ten operations, and I only know about four. I’m pretty proud of myself. Destroyed without knowledge of. Totally cool.” Jeff didn’t look like he thought it was cool. “Steven Tyler and Joe Perry would think it was cool,” I muttered under my breath.
Jeff rolled his ey
es. “Yeah, yeah. Aerosmith is off limits to you, still and forever.”
“You’re high if you think I’m never going to an Aerosmith concert again.”
“Oh, that I know. You’re just going with me, and I’ll have a restraint on you.” Jeff heaved a sigh. “Okay. So, I guess that’s it. We need to get something over to Alexander and Leonidas so they can confirm it’s one of us dealing with them.”
Chuckie nodded. “Sign, countersign, password, counter-password, individualized to each of them, and so forth. Standard. I’ll run it by you before we finalize it.”
Jeff sighed again. “Run it by James, Tim, and Serene.”
Reader laughed. “Uh, Jeff? We’re honored and all, and Serene is, I think, still jumping up and down because of her promotion from Ditz-in-Residence to Head of Imageering, but none of us expect to start tomorrow without your advice and guidance. Yeah, we’ve been paying attention, but, it’s sort of sudden, and none of us saw it coming. None of us have takeover plans in place.”
“Not even you, Mister Organizer?”
He grinned at me. “No, girlfriend, not even me. I never thought I’d see the day Jeff would retire from active Field duty.”
“Hey, I’m a father now. Have two girls to watch over. I’m sure Jamie-Kat’s going to be just like her mother . . . genetics seem to work that way. Need all my focus to keep up with them.” He grinned at me, and I went over and sat on his lap.
“We don’t have anyone to learn from,” I reminded the others. “Diplomacy is sort of challenging.”
“Especially for some of us,” Gower said dryly.
White smiled. “I’m sure we’ll all adjust. Everyone who works with us is adaptable, Missus Martini, or else they wouldn’t be here. I’m sure Mister Reynolds and your mother can come up with some suggestions for who might be able to assist us with the learning of diplomacy. Sooner than all of you think, we’ll be through the transition period and onto the next threat to our safety and security.”
“My partner. I’m so proud. ’Cause, yeah, we know something else will show up.”
“And return,” Amy said darkly.
I shrugged. “We’ll be ready. Might be tough, might be scary, will for sure have some freaking fugly, lunatic politician, or power-mad megalomaniac involved, but we’ll have what they don’t and they won’t.”
“What’s that?” Chuckie asked. Everyone else looked like they didn’t know, either. Amazing. Then again, maybe they were just being modest.
“Um, guys? Us. As long as we’re together never torn apart sort of thing.”
“Oh.” Chuckie nodded. “Great. Yeah. I was hoping you had some weapon you hadn’t told me about.”
“Yeah, or knew some weakness of Al Dejahl’s,” Reader added.
“Or had a bomb strapped to my stepmother’s ass,” Amy snarled.
“I thought she meant our alliance with Alpha Four,” Naomi admitted.
Abigail shook her head. “Me, I thought it was going to be that ACE was going to go kick butt or something.”
Christopher sighed. “I was hoping you knew where they were headed. They’re past whatever range I have, so, no clue now.”
“Geez, last time I try to give you guys a ‘go team’ talk. Fine, get out and go back to the party. I think we actually can, now, relax and take the rest of the night off.”
CHAPTER 87
GOT THE ENCOURAGEMENT to come over to the party again. Declined. Christopher and Amy decided that, since they were up, they’d go to the party, too. White ushered the gang out, and we were alone, back to just the three of us.
Jeff whipped up dinner. He was a great cook, the kitchen had everything you could want or need, and the Elves provided all the fixings. There was a breakfast bar with stools, so I perched and watched while he cooked. The Elves took care of cleanup. I loved the Elves, whoever they were. I didn’t believe Christopher’s weird scientific explanation, and even if it made sense, someone was doing all the housekeeping work. Wondered if, now that we were here, I was supposed to leave milk in shoes or silver dollars or something.
Jeff laughed. “No. The Operations team’s jobs are to do all forms of maintenance. We’re not big on being tipped for doing our jobs, baby.” He’d gone for simple on the meal—steak, potatoes, and vegetable primavera.
“Dinner smells great.”
“Thanks. Where do you want to eat, at the bar, in the nook, in the informal dining room, or in the formal dining room?” He was serious.
“Um . . .”
He grinned as he picked up the filled plates. “We’ll go for the nook.” Which was in the kitchen, table for four. Cozy. More my speed. “This way I get to sit across from you and watch you and Jamie.”
Dinner was nice. Just us, talking about things that didn’t matter to the whole world. I felt more normal after eating and being with Jeff this way. I didn’t feel celebratory, but my heart wasn’t aching so much, and I wasn’t too homesick for either Arizona and New Mexico in general or the Lair in particular.
We finished up, and Jamie wanted her next meal, so we took care of that. Jeff gave me a funny look as he changed her diaper. “Put on some warm clothes and boots.”
“I’m from freaking Arizona, Jeff. I don’t own those items.”
He rolled his eyes. “This from the girl who talks about Elves.”
Oh. Duh. Well, it’d been a busy week. Got up and went to the closet. “Wow. Black pants and a white sweater, black hooded coat, black boots. Thank God. I was so afraid I’d be seen out in like red or blue or something.”
“I understand the diplomats have to wear colors. And,” he added as if he were eating a lemon, “they have to dress casually frequently, to fit in.”
“Wow. So I’ll see your amazing butt in jeans again sooner than in a year? I can get excited about the new job after all.”
I got dressed while Jeff put Jamie into another pink Baby Minnie sleeper and then into a pink Baby Piglet snowsuit, complete with fleece-lined hood. It was a little big on her, but not a problem.
Someone knocked, so I took Jamie and went to the door. Reader was there. Got the cover-boy grin. “Figured you’d need this sooner than whenever.” He pushed a stroller in. Top of the line, greatest thing ever. I’d drooled over it for three months, but Jeff had felt it was too much. Reader, apparently, hadn’t agreed.
“Oh, James.” Gave him the around the neck with one arm squeeze.
He laughed. “I had it modified.” He pointed to the handle, where I could see a variety of A-C buttons there, including “Laser Shield” and “Invisibility Cloak.” “They’ll protect you and Jeff, too, anyone, really, as long as you’re touching the stroller.”
“James, you’re so awesome. I love you so much.”
He kissed my cheek. “I love you, too. Enjoy. Looks like you’re going out. Good. I was hoping this would move you along.” He put his arm around me. “Christopher showed us all what went on down in the lab, Kitty. Jeff felt we needed to know. He was right—we did need to see. And we needed to see what you did, too. You did the right thing, the hard thing, and the thing the evil people would never have done. And now you have to get past it. Start by doing something you and your husband haven’t been able to—go enjoy being the new parents of a beautiful baby girl.”
Jeff came out. He was, shockingly, dressed in the suit. However, in deference to the snow and the cold, he was in a white sweater over his white shirt. Impressively, no tie. It was New Year’s Eve, so we were going casual. He also had a long, heavy coat, no hood. Guess hoods were only for girls and babies, per the Elves.
He had the diaper bag, and he gave Reader a beaming smile. “You’re the best, James.”
“I thought you were going to complain about this model. You said you didn’t want it. Not that I mind.”
“Nah. The moment I realized just how much stuff we have to cart along was the moment I decided the one with all the stuff on it was the way to go.”
“When was that?”
“Five minutes ago.”
“Can’t wait. Say hello to Mister Joel Oliver for me.”
“Will do. He said to tell you the Gucci Baby Book is from him. I already sent it to be checked for bugs and hidden cameras.” Reader gave us both the cover-boy grin, then sauntered off.
Jeff took Jamie from me and settled her in the stroller. “Get your purse.”
I trotted in, grabbed my purse. “All Poofies who want to stay warm, stay here. All Poofies who want an adventure in Kitty’s purse, hop in.” There was much mewling and purring. I checked. Wow. I had a lot of concentrated cuteness in there. Cool. Made sure everything was off and closed or whatever it was supposed to be and joined Jeff in the hallway. “Where’re we going?”
He just smiled as we walked to the elevator. “You’ll see.”
CHAPTER 88
“OH, JEFF, IT’S BEAUTIFUL.”
“Yeah. Aunt Terry took us here every year when we were kids. I think the last night to see it is tomorrow . . . if you want to come back.”
We were at the National Christmas Tree, by the White House. The tree was huge and patriotically decorated. There weren’t a lot of other people here tonight. Most were at parties or already in bed. A light snow was falling. Jamie was out of the stroller and in my arms, the Poofs and my purse were in it. All of us were watching the lights.
“I do.”
“Still love hearing you say those words to me.” He kissed me as I cuddled Jamie between us. He ended our kiss slowly. “Still love doing that, too.”
“I still love doing everything with you, Jeff.”
He grinned. “Good to know. Oh! Almost forgot.” He reached into his pocket. “I have something for you.” He handed me a small package wrapped in festive paper.