by Kim Baldwin
Ryden wanted the mountains to echo the desperate screams of her heart. She’d never intended to deceive Harper; duplicity was not who she was or could ever be, and she desperately wanted this woman to believe and forgive her. But her decisions, and her new life, allowed for nothing more than a glimpse of what could have been.
She had made the trip because she had to see Harper, and tell her she was sorry, and prove what she felt had nothing to do with Moore or money. But fate had sealed the deal for her. This wonderful, hurt woman could never trust her, and the worst part was, she couldn’t blame her. The bottom line was, she had lied about who she was, what she did, and even what she looked like, and nothing she could say or do in the very limited time they had together would make Harper believe her intentions were honest and her feelings true.
Ryden didn’t know what to do. The fact that Harper, a woman completely out of her league, found her attractive was flattering and exciting, but what Ryden felt went above and beyond a mere weekend to remember. Would she spend the rest of her life regretting what could have been or regretting the memory of a beautiful mistake?
“I lied…to you.” Ryden shifted in her chair. “I hurt you and…I almost got you killed.” She stopped and both stared at the flames.
She took a deep breath. “I can say I’m sorry, say I never meant for any of it, but the simple fact is I…I can’t erase what I did, the same way you can’t erase your regrets for having trusted me.”
Harper sat listening, saying nothing, either because she didn’t want to interrupt or because she didn’t have anything to add to the indisputable truth.
“I wish I could say that if I could turn back time, I’d make different choices, but…I’d be lying. I took this job to save my life and I lied to you to protect yours.”
“I know.”
Ryden nodded. “But that doesn’t change the fact that I deceived you, does it?”
“No.”
“I didn’t think so.” Her heart sank in disappointment.
“But what bothers me most…” Harper sat forward, “is that you were so quick to give up who you were: your life, face, identity, to become someone else.”
“It didn’t seem like a sacrifice, then.”
“How could you so easily reject who you are? Who you’d become?” Harper sounded aggravated.
“Because I couldn’t appreciate what I had. I couldn’t see what life had given, just the things it had taken from me.”
“I can understand not being happy with how life sent you off, what it deprived you of. But, on the other hand, look at what it gave you. It made you a fighter, a woman capable of fending for herself and finding ways out when there were no doors.”
Ryden nodded. “That it did.”
“It made you the most beautiful kind of woman, the kind that’s too busy surviving to realize just how attractive she is,” Harper said. “Trust me, no amount of makeup or surgery can create beauty that isn’t there.”
“Thank you,” Ryden said halfheartedly. “I’m glad you think of me in those terms.”
“But?” Harper obviously caught the unenthusiastic undertone.
“The fact remains that you don’t trust me, and I’m in a witness-protection program that prohibits me from seeing you.” Ryden exhaled loudly. “An added stigma, another permanent reminder of everything I’ve done.” She got up. “My only regret about this ludicrous period is that I met you during it. I wish you’d come along before I sold myself. I wish you could have met the real Ryden, the one incapable of lies and worth trusting.”
When Harper didn’t react, she walked the few steps to the house. “I’m going to take a shower and retire for the night. Thank you for the lovely day and evening.” She opened the door and turned to look at Harper, who was lost in thought, staring at the dying flames.
“It’s funny,” Ryden said, “how life can give us insight into our alternate future, as if to rub in our faces how much we screwed up at the crossroads.” Forlorn, she entered the house and shut the door to what could have been.
*
Harper moved mechanically as she extinguished the fire and gathered up the dessert plates and wineglasses. She couldn’t stand to see Ryden hurt, and she didn’t know how to deal with the finality of the situation. Whether Ryden was trustworthy or not was not for her to judge, since Harper barely knew her, but what she did know was that this woman had thrown herself forward to take a bullet.
Ryden possessed a certain virtuousness and naïveté for a woman of her age that Harper had never witnessed. Life might have been hard for Ryden, but contrary to the way that most who traveled a rocky path reacted, she hadn’t become hard, and her purity was a genetic disposition, not an acquisition.
Harper could feel how much Ryden regretted having to lie to her, as well as the consequences of those lies, and she believed Ryden when she said she’d wanted to protect her. It would have been so easy for Ryden to confess what she’d gotten herself in to and ask for Harper’s help to get her out of a dangerous game, but Ryden had put Harper’s safety above her own.
The problem was, Harper didn’t want to believe she was ready or willing to trust another woman after Carmen, and another straight one at that. She’d given her heart before, and it had taken her years to come to terms with her own blindness and self-delusions.
She was incredibly attracted to Ryden; she’d struggled with that desire from the moment she’d first seen her. But she was too old and too burned to let attraction dictate her more profound need for an unconditional bond.
Stolen moments with a woman she was forbidden to contact was not Harper’s idea of a foundation to build on.
She heard Ryden moving around upstairs. Probably just getting out of the shower, since the guest bath was just above her head. Frustrated, she kicked the door to the dishwasher shut. Why the hell did this woman have to walk into her life? And why couldn’t Harper walk away from this condemned situation?
Was life testing her? Was she at a crossroads of her own, where her alternate future was being constructed as she stood in the kitchen picturing Ryden exiting her life for good?
Harper locked the door and switched off the lights. Years from now, would a potential glimpse into an alternate life fill her with remorse or relief?
Distraught, Harper walked quietly up the stairs and stopped at Ryden’s room, where she rested her hand on the closed door and silently bid her farewell, chastising herself for the decision she knew she would regret.
Chapter Forty-one
Ryden got out of bed when Harper stopped moving around downstairs. Certain Harper had gone to bed, and too upset to sleep, she wanted to go outside to feel the warm breeze and look at the stars. She went to the door and listened closely to make sure she couldn’t hear Harper and, when she didn’t hear any noise, turned the knob and opened it.
She jumped when she saw Harper standing there, three or four feet away. “Harper!”
Harper stood like a statue, saying nothing, her arms at her sides and a desolate expression on her face.
“Are you all right?” Ryden asked.
Still Harper didn’t move, but her eyes did. Ryden stood there as Harper’s gaze languidly descended, from her eyes, to her lips, neck, breasts—lingering there, before continuing to the rest of her body.
She should’ve felt exposed, in her snug T-shirt and bikini panties, but she didn’t. Ryden let Harper take her in, as she observed Harper’s face change from sad to…
Her thoughts stopped, together with her breath, when Harper took the remaining step into her room.
They stood silently facing each other as Harper’s mixed expressions reflected Ryden’s own turmoil of emotions. “I want the impossible,” Ryden finally whispered. “Even if I never see you again, I want the impossible.”
“What do you want?” Harper’s voice was deep.
“To erase your doubts, make you understand how I feel…but…” Ryden looked at the floor, blinking hard as tears formed. “I don’t know how.”
/> With gentle fingers, Harper lifted Ryden’s head and wiped her tears with her thumb.
“Show me,” Harper said, and brought Ryden’s mouth to within an inch of her own.
Trembling, Ryden wrapped her arms around Harper’s neck and pulled Harper to her, kissing her with a passion she hadn’t known she possessed. Harper moaned and moved into her, her thigh between Ryden’s legs, and Ryden immediately buckled, her body unable to control the new sensations.
She let go of Harper and stepped back, breathing hard. “I have to take it slow.” Grasping Harper’s hand, she led her to the bed. Then, with a mixture of shyness and arousal, she slowly lifted her T-shirt and removed it. She’d never before stood exposed like this in front of anyone, but then again, no one had ever made her feel as sexy and wanted.
Harper took her nakedness in, slowly and thoroughly, her arousal apparent by the twin peaks straining her tailored white shirt.
Ryden, flustered by Harper’s painfully hard nipples, hoped she could contain the fire she’d started.
As though Harper sensed her insecurity, she took Ryden’s hand and placed it on her breast. She gasped at the feel of Harper’s firm arousal, her anxieties quickly turning into a distant memory as she confidently played with one nipple.
Harper covered Ryden’s hand with her own, urging her to increase the pressure, and she thought she might lose her mind at the sensation.
“I want more,” she said, as she unbuttoned the top button of Harper’s shirt.
“I need more.” Harper groaned.
She unbuttoned the rest of Harper’s shirt and let it drop, then removed her sheer white bra. She openly admired the taut, tan body until she could hold back no longer. She attacked Harper, hard on the mouth, as she wrapped her arms around Harper and stroked her back. As she brought her hands forward to cover Harper’s breasts, she kissed and licked her mouth and neck.
Harper gasped and took her in her arms. “If I have to go slow much longer, I’m going to burst.”
“I can’t get enough of you.” Ryden sounded drunk even to herself. “Tell me what you want.” She unbuckled Harper’s pants.
Harper removed the rest of her clothes, took Ryden in her arms, and they fell back onto the bed, with Harper’s warm body covering hers. That first, full-length touch of each other’s skin—breast to breast, pelvis to pelvis, legs entwined—made both of them pause.
“You feel perfect,” Harper said as she began to move against her.
“I’ve never felt this…turned on.”
Harper’s sexy, lopsided smile almost stopped Ryden’s heart. Was it possible she’d never really made love until this very moment?
Harper kissed her passionately, and when she ran her fingers down the side of Ryden’s body, Ryden involuntarily writhed beneath her, sensations she’d never experienced flooding every fiber of her.
Harper felt Ryden shiver under her touch. She wanted to go slow, like Ryden had asked, but for the first time, she had to struggle to comply. Although she wanted to savor this woman, and the night, her need for Ryden was painfully strong. She had to clench her legs to fight the impending orgasm that tortured her.
She kissed her way down Ryden’s neck to her perfect breasts and licked her nipples, stroking them teasingly with her tongue. Ryden’s hand entwined in her hair, guiding her from one breast to the other and back, until Harper finally sucked hard on one nipple as she pinched the other.
“Yes.” Ryden dug her nails into Harper’s back.
Harper, no longer in control of her own body, pressed her center against Ryden’s. Both moaned in unison and rocked together until Harper felt helpless to stop the wave about to devour her. She took Ryden’s hand and guided it between her legs.
“So wet,” Ryden said, stroking Harper slowly before entering her.
Harper eased on top of her, in tune with Ryden’s hand. “So perfect.” She kissed Ryden, neither breaking the taunting rhythm, until she couldn’t hold back any more. Harper practically felt herself levitate as she climaxed longer and stronger than she ever had.
“That was amazing.” Ryden’s voice was hoarse. “I felt you come.”
Harper remained on top of her, kissing Ryden’s neck. “I thought I’d never stop.”
Ryden slowly pulled out of her, brought her hand to her mouth, and licked her fingers. “Beautiful.”
Harper licked Ryden’s mouth, tasting herself there. “You drive me crazy. Always have.” She kissed her way down Ryden’s body, stroking and licking every inch of it.
Ryden reacted with sighs and gasps to every caress from her mouth and hands. “Your touch, kisses…everything about you, is…” She half sat up, leaning back on her elbows. “I don’t recognize myself or my body.”
“I want to taste you.” She kissed Ryden just above her center. “Every drop.”
Ryden fell back with a moan and grabbed the sheets.
Harper licked her slowly until Ryden cried out, “God, what’s happening to me?”
Harper entered her with two fingers as she continued to lick and suck.
“Oh, my…yes.” Ryden moved her body against Harper’s tongue. “God, I can’t stop coming.” She pulled the sheets so hard Harper thought they were going to tear.
Harper penetrated her harder and harder, until Ryden screamed something unintelligible and fell back limp on the bed.
Harper kissed her way up to her and lay next to Ryden, caressing her face. “Are you all right?”
“I think so.” Ryden lay with her eyes shut. “I’ve never come like that. So powerful.”
Harper smiled. “Tired?”
“Insatiable.” Ryden climbed on top of her.
“You’re pretty amazing for someone who’s never done this before.” Harper smiled. “You sure you’re new at this?”
“In every way.” Ryden kissed her. “In every single way.”
They made love all night, occasionally stopping to watch the moon crawl across the sky and fade in the morning light. Finally, they dozed, and when Harper awoke and checked the clock, it was nine a.m. They couldn’t have slept more than a couple of hours.
Ryden stretched and caressed Harper’s abdomen. “Morning.”
“Hey.” Harper kissed her. “Big day today.”
“Oh, yeah. That.” Ryden’s blissful expression faded, replaced by sadness. “One more day together before I leave.”
“That’s not what I mean.” Harper kissed her again. “Today’s the day I get Angelo.”
“That’s great.” Ryden sat up. “You decided to get a new dog.”
“Almost right.” Harper kissed Ryden’s shoulder. “We’re going together. If you want to,” she added shyly.
“But you said you go alone. You want the dog to bond with you, as its only master and friend.”
“I changed my mind.”
“Why?”
“Because I want you to stay with me and I want Angelo to be ours.” Harper sat up when she saw Ryden tear up.
“But I have to go back.”
“No, you don’t.”
“What?” Ryden asked with a shocked expression.
“I’ll talk to Pierce. I’m sure we can work something out.”
Ryden tossed the sheets aside and threw herself into Harper’s arms. “Are you sure?” She had never looked happier.
“As I watched you sleep, I got a glimpse of my alternate future.”
“And?”
“I don’t want to live with remorse.” Harper kissed Ryden soundly on the lips.
Epilogue
Halkidiki, Greece
Fourteen months later
The sleek, 440-foot-long Fincantiere superyacht was a study in luxurious excesses, with seven decks, two helicopter landing pads—one with a hangar—a huge indoor seawater swimming pool, and storage for a large submarine. Noted naval architect Espen Oeino had designed the Pegasus to comply with the maximum safety international regulations, while still providing its billionaire owner with a breathtaking profile. The largest yacht eve
r built in Italy, it currently ranked ninth in the world, but its state-of-the-art technological advancements and sophisticated splendor set it apart from even the bigger mega yachts.
The internal space of the superyacht measured more than forty-eight thousand square feet, twenty-nine thousand of which was devoted to ultra-luxury designed by the renowned Pascale Reymond from Reymond Langton Design. Twelve elite cabins could accommodate twenty-four guests in extreme comfort, while additional living space below housed the ship’s fifty-two-person crew.
TQ’s host, Greek shipping magnate Konstantinos “Kostas” Lykourgos, had given her a richly appointed stateroom more impressive than any hotel she’d ever stayed in, but she rarely spent any time there. The rich blue waters of the Aegean, the perfect weather, and the panoramic views all beckoned her topside. This particular morning, Kostas had promised her a spectacle surpassing any they’d seen thus far, so she dressed in a flowing printed kaftan and broad sun hat and went to breakfast with a rare sense of delightful anticipation. Her time in Greece had been the perfect way to put the frustration and disappointment of last year behind her.
“Kalimera, Theodora.” Lykourgos stood when he spotted her from the aft second-tier deck, where a table for three was laid with the finest china and crystal. Side tables held a variety of breakfast fare: fresh fruit, cheeses, croissants, and honeyed yogurt, strong Greek coffee and juices, and sterling-silver warming trays with lids. “I hope you slept well.” He pulled out a chair for her.
“Good morning.” TQ looked from Kostas to his beautiful, twenty-six-year-old daughter, Ariadne.
“I was just leaving. Enjoy your morning.” Ariadne got up. “My friends will be picking me up shortly.” She kissed her father’s head and disappeared inside.
TQ had met the young woman yesterday for the first time, and although the girl struck her as immaculately groomed, exceptionally educated and bright—in other words, a worthy successor to her father’s multi-million-dollar business—TQ didn’t like the way Ariadne scrutinized her, as if waiting for TQ to falter and expose her less-impressive background. Maybe mutual antipathy was inevitable between two strong women.