Into the Darkness

by Kat T. Masen

  My bedroom is on the top floor. Unless you’re Spiderman, I wouldn’t even bother.

  Or Justin?

  Well then I’d have the front door wide open with a come inside welcome wagon.

  Now I’m jealous. You might want to sleep with the rolling pin. I am known for my climbing skills.

  Thanks for the heads-up. Goodnight, Alex. Thank you again for everything.

  Anytime, beautiful.

  It wasn’t the rolling pin that accompanied me to bed that night; it was his hockey jersey. I held onto it tight, inhaling his scent. Fact, he was married, but was he happy? The short conversations we had around this topic indicated that he wasn’t but he was bound to her, in sickness and in health, till death do they part and forsaking all others…

  I was holding a match, lighting up the kerosene, playing with fire. This couldn’t end up well. So what, we fuck once then he ruins his marriage? I wasn’t that type of girl, and what about Adriana? She was my best friend and would never forgive me.

  I tossed and turned that night, falling asleep at the break of dawn.

  Chapter 6

  Lex

  I sat at the table trying to concentrate on the business meeting. It was impossible. I needed to take care of things and my mind had questions that needed answering. How the fuck did this happen? Out of all the places in the world she was here, in New York City, eating Japanese with her…whatever the fuck he was. I had to wrap up the meeting. I needed answers, now.

  “Mr. Klein, the numbers you have shown meet our profit expectations. Have your business plan ready for me before I leave on Monday.”

  “Of course, Mr. Edwards. It was a pleasure doing business with you again,” Mr. Klein responded.

  We all stood up, shaking each other’s hands. I signed the check and grabbed my blackberry. I dialed Kate’s number and asked her to meet me at the hotel.

  I walked outside the restaurant greeted by the warm breeze. How long had she been in New York? She looked all dolled up, fucking hot actually. I wondered what she did. Fuck, I needed answers. My mind was scattered and I was unable to process anything.

  I hailed a cab. The cab driver pulled into the traffic, only to be met with red lights as soon as we turned the corner. Pulling my blackberry out, I scrolled through my contacts until I found his number. He was recommended by a close business associate and came at a high price. I never asked questions about his background knowing that his line of work wasn’t exactly legal.

  “Bryce, it’s Edwards. I need you to look someone up.”

  “Yes, Mr. Edwards.”

  “Charlotte Olivia Mason. She resides here in New York City. Date of birth is October first, nineteen eighty-seven. I need information today, anything you can get.” I knew I sounded desperate but desperate times called for desperate measures.

  “Yes, Mr. Edwards. I’ll call you as soon as I find something.”

  I ended the call, my mind still reeling from the events. She was angry and I understood that I left without giving her an explanation but then again it was seven years later. I thought she would be happy to see me, like two long lost friends except we weren’t two long lost friends. I promised her things; I promised her a future and then I had no choice but to walk away, or at least I thought so at the time.

  It was just after two when I arrived back at the Waldorf. The cab ride had taken longer than I expected but this was New York City. Kate was already in the suite typing away on her laptop. As soon as I walked in she stood up and greeted me. “Good afternoon, sir.”

  “Kate, nice of you to be early,” I sarcastically responded considering I was actually late. So I sounded like a prick but my mind was all over the fucking place. This was not like me. I was always in control but what has she done to me, just seeing her the one time? I threw my briefcase onto the lounge and poured myself some Bourbon. I didn’t normally drink during work but today was different. I could have downed that whole bottle in one gulp if Kate wasn’t standing there.

  “What’s the schedule for next week?” I asked, praying I could stay here in New York.

  She clicked on her mouse. “Tomorrow night is the charity ball. Your sister will be meeting you here at five o’clock sharp with your tux and apparently you’re um…date, Brooke.” She cleared her throat. “On Sunday morning you have another meeting with Mr. Klein to go over the business proposal. Two o’clock will be another inspection of the new office, then on Monday morning we catch a red-eye back to London.”

  I would have no time to find her or even spend time with her. I poured myself another glass, the first one obviously not doing the trick. The first thought floating through my head was to cancel going to the charity event. Yes, I’ll cancel that. At least I would have all Saturday night free to find her. New York was big but not that big.

  “Tuesday at eleven is the stakeholder meeting. That is expected to run until five. The Hilton conference room has been booked for the event.”

  It had taken us months to organize this meeting. I knew I couldn’t get out of it. I gritted my teeth. She continued on. It looked like I wouldn’t be back in New York for two weeks. My stomach churned at the thought. I was starting to feel like a lovesick teenager except I was thirty, a successful entrepreneur with money to do whatever the hell I wanted which proved absolutely pointless at a time like this.

  My cell started to buzz. It was Bryce. Making my way into the bedroom, I closed the door behind me.

  “Bryce.”

  “Mr. Edwards, I have some information regarding Miss Mason.”

  “Go on.”

  “Her current employment is at Mason & Romano where she is partner at the firm.”

  “Firm?”

  “Yes. She is a lawyer here in New York City. She graduated with honors from Harvard.”

  Holy fuck, so she was in Massachusetts all that time? Her mother gave me no inkling of that when I went to go look for her. I tried not to focus on the regret that was starting to creep in by not finding her and telling her how sorry I was. Why didn’t I try harder?

  “Her status is showing single, never registered as being married.”

  For now. Anger was boiling inside of me at the thought, images of the ring flashing before me, my grip on my cell tightening as I tried to remain calm.

  “She currently owns an apartment in SOHO as well as a home in Connecticut.”

  “What’s the connection in Connecticut?”

  “I haven’t been able to get a connection yet.”

  “Thank you, Bryce. Please update me as soon as you find anything else.”

  I hung up the phone, a little more at ease now that I knew more about her. Harvard, wow. I always knew she was smart but she never mentioned anything about wanting to be a lawyer. My curiosity peaked; it was very unlike her. She always walked away from drama, even at school. Financially she was well off, but this house in Connecticut kept bugging me. It wasn’t the type of area you would invest in so why would she own property there?

  I stood at the window, watching the city pass by. All I could think about was the fact that she had become this beautiful woman. Her clothing was another thing I wouldn’t have expected. She hated heels and dressing up. The glasses—oh, fuck me sideways. I stirred at the thought, my cock hardened. I needed a release, but Kate was outside. I adjusted my pants and walked back into the living room.

  We spent the afternoon on conference calls with human resources regarding the recruiting of the New York team. If all went to plan we would have a fully functional office in less than a month. I wanted this office up and running, an excuse for me to spend time in New York City.

  By six, I was done. Kate left to spend the night with a friend she had met in the city so I decided to go down to the bar in the hotel lobby. It was busy for a Friday night, the usual business crowd letting their hair down after a stressful week. A few young girls were dancing. I sat at the bar and ordered a scotch this time. One of the cute brunettes from the dance floor walked up to the bar.

  “Bartend
er!” she yelled. The bartender stood at the end of the bar trying his best to chat up another girl.

  “Oh c’mon, excuse me!”

  The bartender looked up, reluctantly walking over to serve the brunette.

  “Can I please get another Cosmo?”

  She was pretty, maybe twenty-three tops. She had long brown hair tied up in a high ponytail. She was wearing a short black skirt with a low-cut gold top. Tackily dressed but she had a nice pair of tits. She waited at the bar before turning my way. Licking her lips, she looked me up and down.

  “Alone tonight?” she asked, her body moving closer to mine, her hand resting on my thigh.

  “That depends if you’re going to walk back to your posse or stay and drink with me.” I knew I sounded like a cocky motherfucker but I had this one in the bag and I needed a release after what happened today.

  “You’re not from around here? I love a man with an accent.” She smirked.

  Don’t all American women. She looked at me smiling, her lips covered in bright red lipstick. She jumped off the barstool and grabbed my hand. She pulled me through the bar to the restroom at the back. Slowly looking around she opened the door, pushing me inside. What a little firecracker. She grabbed my pants, unbuttoning them quickly. Pulling them down, she released my cock.

  “Damn, you are one fine specimen. And this…” she said as she grabbed my cock, wrapping her hand around it, “…needs to be in my mouth right now.”

  I looked down, watching her take in the whole of my cock, until I felt it touch the back of her throat. Hmm, great gag reflex. I closed my eyes, remembering when Charlotte would do the same, her long brown hair covering me. I grabbed the chick’s hair, watching her but all I could see was Charlotte, all I could feel was Charlotte. It didn’t take me long before I blew, the girl pulling me out of her mouth as she jerked me off in her hand. She quickly stood up and washed her hands as I fixed my pants.

  “Well, there’s a first time for everything,” she said, sounding pretty confident.

  I was amused that these young girls thought giving head made them powerful. Quite the opposite. I didn’t have to beg for it, darling. Fuck, I didn’t have to do anything.

  She smiled quickly, then exited the bathroom. I walked over to the sink, washing my hands and splashing my face with cold water. What was I thinking? It wasn’t like this hadn’t happened before but I never had allowed myself to think of Charlotte when I was with someone else.

  I quickly exited the bar and went back to my suite. I was so fucked, I needed to forget. Why can’t I forget? I took a long hot shower, hoping to wash away what I had done downstairs.

  I climbed into bed that night, trying to shut my mind down, but I couldn’t. I grabbed my cell and did what I had put off doing for seven years: I typed her name into a search engine.

  There were random photos of other girls, no one who looked like her. I scrolled through, desperate to find anything. It must have been on the sixth page where I found a small picture. I clicked on the thumbnail; it linked me to a Harvard class website. There was a picture of Charlotte with a guy, Logan. I recognized him immediately. She was smiling, she looked happy. Were they together after I left? I could feel the anger brewing again but I knew I had no right to feel this way. I switched off my cell knowing I had made it even worse for myself. Why the fuck couldn’t I just let this go? There was too much history between us, and I needed her to know how much I regretted my actions. I acted like a timid little coward and I should have followed my instincts, I should have followed my heart. For seven years I buried what we had and drowned myself in my work. Yes it paid off but was it worth it in the end? I tossed and turned all night, finally falling asleep at the ass crack of dawn.

  …

  “Lex, hold still or I can’t get it in!”

  I stood in my hotel suite, my sister Adriana fussing all over me. The bowtie she bought wasn’t cooperating and as usual it was the biggest emergency ever. My attempt to cancel was foiled by Adriana giving me a list of clients who would be attending and therefore dubbed the event as a huge business opportunity. I hated these events. It was a parade of people showing off who had the biggest checkbook. Fair enough, it was for charity, but these leaches donated so their businesses would be all over the media. I would have happily donated the money and not attend, but when you are related to Adriana Edwards there is no such luxury.

  “OK, done.” She pulled back, admiring her work. “You scrub up well, big brother. Thanks to me.”

  “If it wasn’t for the suit I would have no hope in hell with the ladies. Listen Adriana, there’s something I need to talk to you about.”

  “Is it an apology for how you hurt my feelings and left the restaurant in a huff?”

  “Uhh, no…but I am sorry. Look, you know that wedding bullshit is too much for me.”

  “Not to anger the beast again, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?”

  I had been putting it off ever since it happened. Now was the time to bring it up. My head was still a mess and only Adriana knew the whole story. If anyone could make me understand what the hell was going on it was my sister, Charlotte’s former best friend.

  “What is it?” she asked. She was distracted, fixing her gown in the mirror. It was a beautiful navy gown, Valentino I remember her saying. Like I gave a shit but she still looked good in it.

  “I saw Charlotte.”

  She stopped adjusting her dress, her eyes meeting mine in the mirror before she abruptly turned around. “Where and when?” Her voice was anxious. I knew what Charlotte meant to Adriana. Their friendship was a big part of her life that I screwed up for her. Another person caught up in the shitstorm I created.

  “I had a lunch meeting the other day. She was there at the restaurant with a guy.” I clenched at the thought again. I needed to get rid of him. I hadn’t even thought of how yet.

  “Oh my God, Lex. Seriously out of all places, here? Did you speak to her?”

  “Yes I did. She was angry. I wasn’t expecting her to be after all these years. I wanted a chance to explain but she said to not bother—it was just a high school fling.” I could still feel the sting from those words.

  “But Lex, it wasn’t just a high school fling. So you didn’t get a chance to explain to her what happened with Samantha and the baby?”

  “No I didn’t, she was quick to run off to her…fiancé.” I gritted my teeth.

  “Fiancé? How do you know? Maybe it was just a friend.” I could hear the hope in her voice. Adriana, ever the optimist.

  “The huge ring on her finger was a dead giveaway. I asked and she angrily answered that he was her fiancé.”

  “Lex, why did you do that? You know if she is anything like me, you probably pushed her closer to him.”

  “Oh gee, thanks sis. What a wonderful thought to have in my head.” I was getting angry. Did I really do that? Fuck, this was making it worse. I sat down in the lounge, bowing my head as I ran my fingers through my hair.

  “How did she look?” Adriana finally asked.

  I was staring at the carpet, trying to calm down. I looked up at Adriana, her face full of sorrow. “Beautiful.”

  Our conversation was interrupted as Elijah walked in the room followed by an attractive blonde woman.

  “Brooke, please meet my brother Lex. Lex, this is Brooke.”

  She was pretty, short blonde hair, blue eyes, but I wasn’t interested. There was only one I wanted now. But I acted like the gentleman my mother raised me to be. I leaned in and kissed Brooke’s cheek. After a quick chat, it was time to head out. I lingered behind her as my sister quickly pulled me aside.

  “Lex, I know you’re hurting. I promise we’ll talk more about this later,” Adriana whispered as we walked out.

  Hurt? Was that what this was? First, after I saw her I wanted to apologize, second I wanted to fuck the living daylights out of her. Now I didn’t know what to do, but for tonight I would do what I did best: act like the arrogant CEO I was known to be, better tha
n a sad pathetic loser pining for his ex.

  …

  It had been the day from hell. I had just finished a fourteen-hour shift with Dad at the hospital where we lost a teenager to a drunk driving accident. It was the first time I had dealt with death, and no matter how much they prepared us for this during our practicals, the reality was far more grueling. My dad stood there calling time of death as I ran to the toilet heaving, barely making it as I violently vomited, my body shuddering as I slumped to the floor. How on Earth would this get easier over time? I started questioning myself, if this was the right thing for me. I was not built like my father; he was strong, always in control. Five fucking years of my life dedicated to medical school, what the hell was I going to do? I couldn’t talk to Samantha about it. She just saw the status attached with calling me Doctor. Mom and Dad would never understand and Adriana, well, she was too preoccupied with Elijah. I peeled myself off the floor and washed my face before I headed outside.

  “Son, are you OK?”

  “Yeah. Sorry I ran out, Dad. It was just a lot to deal with.”

  He placed his arm around my shoulder before walking me to the reception area. The nurse at the front desk looked at me sympathetically.

  “It’s part of the job, Alex. It doesn’t always end in saving a life.”

  “I know but she was so young. Only seventeen, it’s not fair.” My voice was choking as I spoke. I needed to get out of this miserable place.

  “Life isn’t always fair, Alex. Remember that.”

  With his last words I walked through the sliding doors and into the cool night. It was a little after six when I got home. Samantha was in the lounge reading some trashy magazine.

  “Hey honey, you look beat.” She leaned over and kissed me on the lips.

  “Yeah, pretty much the day from hell.”

  She put down the magazine and motioned for me to sit next to her. I threw my bag on the ground and sat down, ready to talk about today’s events.