Into the Darkness

by Kat T. Masen

  We arrived at the ball, the red carpet swarming with paparazzi. We followed the crowd, hoping to avoid the craziness. Unfortunately I was not so lucky.

  “Mr. Edwards, over here!” one of the paparazzi yelled.

  I took my cue and posed, then the flock followed. The bulbs kept flashing and I felt like I’d been blinded.

  “Lex, who are you wearing?”

  “Are you and Brooke Henley an item?”

  “Is it true the Lexed Group is in a bidding war to buy—?”

  They were cut off as Adriana dragged me into the building. Thank God, the worst part was over.

  We were seated towards the front thanks to Adriana making me purchase the seats at twenty-five hundred a ticket. Sitting at the table beside us was Mr. Vandercamp and what looked like a new wife or maybe a mistress. She looked like a clone of Barbie, a far cry from the Mrs. Vandercamp I remembered. Mr. Vandercamp was the owner of one of the largest importing companies in New York. Rumor had it he was in the middle of a messy divorce. He was worth a ton and had properties all over the United States. Sitting on their other side were a few famous people. The only one I recognized was Kanye. As I approached the table he immediately stood up and walked over to shake my hand.

  He flashed his pearly whites as he greeted me. “Edwards, long time no see.”

  “You know me, can’t stay put in one place long enough to call home,” I answered.

  I had met Kanye a few times, mostly at club openings. He was a very laid-back guy despite that whole Taylor Swift thing.

  “I heard you opened up After Dark a few weeks back? Damn bro, that club be happening. I’d love to do a set there.”

  “Anytime. Have your people call mine to set something up.”

  We chatted a while longer before we were interrupted by the MC requesting everyone to take their seats. I sat down beside Brooke and made myself comfortable. It was going to be one hell of a long night. Thank God the champagne was decent—Armand de Brignac. Not bad, I thought, but hell I needed plenty of it.

  Mrs. Clyde, the head of the committee, walked onto the stage. She began to speak about the charity, bringing a tear to nearly every woman’s eye in the room and a few men too. The donations would help rebuild the shelter located in Brooklyn as well as provide round-the-clock counselors, schooling and accommodation for those who had no family or home to go to. I guessed my sizable donation would help.

  She finished speaking, then the crowd stood up to mingle. I grabbed Brooke’s hand since she was my date and started walking through the crowd. It wasn’t long before Mrs. Clyde pulled me aside.

  “My gorgeous boy!” She grabbed my face and kissed both cheeks. I allowed her to do so although she always made me feel like a five-year-old.

  “Mrs. Clyde. What a pleasure to see you again.”

  “Lex, where is that wonderful mother and father of yours tonight?”

  “Unfortunately my father is in Brazil with my mother. He had some emergency surgeries that needed to be performed on some local children. Quite sad. The paperwork for him to help was a nightmare. It took two months for him to get the approval to go.”

  She clutched her chest as I explained the tragedies these children had endured. “Oh dear, I bet Andrew was out of his mind. Please give him my regards. I must speak to him on the condition of the children once he returns.” She let go of her chest and gently hugged me. She was a kindhearted woman who reminded me of my mother.

  We continued on through the crowd, pausing to chat with acquaintances until finally stopping at Mr. and Mrs. Henley’s table. Brooke introduced me to her parents. It was obvious her father was not impressed she attended the event with me. Who could blame him? I didn’t have the best reputation with women.

  I scanned the room, bored with the conversation between Brooke and her mother about dresses and designers. Across the ballroom I noticed a young guy checking me out. I could tell by the way he looked up and down at my body. Oh for fuck’s sake, he couldn’t have made it any more obvious. The girl on his right copied his move, and the one on his left slowly untangled herself from her partner’s arm, revealing a stunning emerald green dress. Emerald green, if that didn’t take me back to prom. She looked my way, and our eyes fixated on each other.

  It was her.

  This time I wasn’t going to let the opportunity get away. I leaned into Brooke’s ear to let her know I was going to talk to an old friend. She nodded and continued chatting with her mother.

  The closer I got, the more nervous she looked. Shit, I wasn’t going to bite. Or maybe I would later tonight once I finally got her alone.

  She was the very picture of beauty. Her long dress flowed down her perfectly toned body. I felt my cock harden. What I wouldn’t do to have my face between those full breasts right now. Her hair was styled to one side, wavy in a 1950s style. It was longer than in high school. I had to focus. How long had I been standing here for?

  “Charlotte, what a nice surprise to see you again.” I took the initiative to introduce myself since she stood there speechless. She stammered as she began to speak. Did I still have some effect on her? She introduced her colleagues, then the moment came that I dreaded. She introduced her fiancé, the fucker.

  He extended his hand so what was I supposed to do? I shook it thinking of that old saying: ‘Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.’ He repeated my name. So the fucker knew me.

  “How do you and Charlie know each other?” He took his arm off her waist and reached down to hold her hand. I watched him wrap his fingers around her beautifully manicured fingers. With every fiber of my being I tried to contain my jealously.

  I rambled on about us dating in high school. There was history there and who was he to stand in the way of that? Charlotte looked pissed, something I would have to deal with later. Don’t worry, sweetheart, feel free to take it out on me later while I’m fucking your brains out. Okay, I was getting ahead of myself but that dress was conjuring up all these dirty thoughts in my mind.

  He went on about the articles he wrote about me and my company. Smart motherfucker. He had done his research. I had to admit it was a pretty good article. Charlotte’s assistant interrupted my thoughts.

  “So Alex, are you from New York? Your accent is very Hugh Grant. God, I loved him in Notting Hill. Anyways, love your Armani suit.”

  Fuck this! Eric was like a male version of Adriana.

  I corrected him, not wanting anyone to call me Alex. I didn’t want to answer his fucking questions either. How was I going to get her alone? I politely answered, knowing I had to play Mr. Nice Guy, for now. I mentioned our new office so she knew I was going to be in New York more often. It was no longer about the office. It was all about her now.

  “And thank you, my sister chose the suit. She lives and breathes fashion. I’ll introduce you later.”

  “Adriana is here?” Charlotte asked nervously. I saw her scan the room. Now I felt like a prick. Adriana meant so much to her and I had fucked that up royally. I watched the panic set in her face. I shouldn’t have dropped the bombshell of Adriana being here so loosely in front of everyone.

  “Somewhere floating around with Elijah.”

  “Her and Elijah are still together?”

  I owed my life to Elijah. Without him my sister would be an even bigger pain in my ass. I felt for them though, especially when Elijah got cancer before their wedding. My sister had been to hell and back but thankfully the chemo worked and he recovered. I wasn’t sure Adriana had though.

  Everyone turned their heads to look at the MC who began to speak. I continued to stare at Charlotte, her eyes never leaving mine. I needed to get her alone, to explain. We were asked to take our seats as the meals were being served. I said goodbye, knowing it wouldn’t be the last time I would see her tonight. Then, as they walked away, I quickly grabbed her arm.

  “You look breathtaking, Charlotte,” I whispered in her ear.

  Having her so close for a split second, I inhaled her heavenly scent. It was
like a drug and just like that I found my addiction again. She walked away from me, leaving me there like a lost puppy. I had to pull myself together. How could she still have such an effect on me? I walked to my table purposely, past Adriana.

  “She’s here,” I said.

  …

  After dinner was served, the crowd began to mingle again. A few had taken to the dance floor. I walked over to the bar. I needed another drink, something harder this time.

  “What can I get you, sir?” the waiter asked.

  “Scotch, neat.”

  “Hi Lex.” Charlotte’s assistant, Eric, was standing beside me, maybe a little too close. Or was that my paranoia? “So I’m guessing Charlie and you were more than just friends back in high school hence why you could cut the sexual tension with a dil…um, I mean, chainsaw?”

  “It was a little complicated,” I answered hesitantly. Where was he going with this? And was he about to say dildo?

  “I’m surprised she never mentioned you, considering I’m her BFF. You would think a gorgeous man like yourself would have been brought up during at least one drunken escapade.” He motioned for the bartender to serve him, ordering two martinis, then he quickly turned back to me.

  “Well, since you are so-called BFFs, Eric, tell me, how long have her and Julian been together?”

  “Six months,” he responded as he grabbed his martini and swirled the stick.

  I don’t know what I wanted to hear. It was good they weren’t together for long but the engaged part, I couldn’t comprehend. They were only together for six months and she was already engaged to him? Why would you rush that? Unless she was… No, fuck, it can’t be that. She’s drinking champagne. Calm down, Edwards. I needed to play my cards right. I was desperate for information, anything about her I could get my hands on.

  “I own a club, After Dark. Not sure if you’re heard of it?” Of course he had heard of it. Weren’t gays known for their fashion sense and club life?

  “Oh em gee, like hello! It’s the hottest spot in town right now!” he squealed.

  Bingo. I needed to get Charlotte into a more relaxed environment. I did what any other determined man trying to get his hands on his ex-girlfriend would do: I took one for the team and flirted a little with her gay BFF. “So how about I put you guys on the VIP list for tonight?”

  His face lit up like a drag in Vegas. I was a little scared he was going to grab my face and kiss me. I had no problem with gays but I liked pussy, sweet beautiful pussy. Oh fuck, if that didn’t stir things up again. I was like a goddamn fifteen-year-old with this walking hard-on. I didn’t want Eric thinking he had a hand in that—err, so to speak!

  “That would be awesome! I hear P. Diddy will be there tonight?”

  “Quite possibly. He has been there every Saturday night since we opened.”

  Eric leaned over and hugged me tight. It was weird, like oh em gee weird. Geez, his shit was already rubbing off on me.

  “Oh, I love you! I better get back to my table.” He grabbed the second Martini and began to walk off, then turned around to say one more thing. “And Lex, don’t worry. I’ll make sure she comes alone.”

  I scanned the room, hoping to find her alone. How hard would it be to find her in that dress? Every time I thought about the dress my cock hardened more, if that was possible. I needed a trip to the restroom to release the tension because there was no way in hell I would make it through the night.

  I spotted her on the dance floor; he was all over her. I knew I wasn’t thinking straight but I needed to talk to her. I was getting desperate. Where the fuck was my self-control? My blood boiled when I saw his hands on her. I moved my way through the crowd, excusing myself as I bumped into couples holding each other tight as they danced to Frank Sinatra.

  “Mind if I cut in?” I interrupted. “For old time’s sake?”

  Charlotte’s tanned skin looked almost pale. Julian looked pissed but I didn’t give a fuck what he thought right now. He whispered something in her ear which made her smile, then he walked away. I placed a hand over hers and the other on her waist. I ached to hold her closer, the familiarity was just too much. I had to get through this. I told her she looked beautiful in that color, her favorite color, and I knew why. How could I forget?

  “What do you want, Lex?” She was straight to the point. Her anger seemed to have intensified since the last time I saw her.

  “I see you at the restaurant and you run from me. I run into you again and you avoid me. Can’t two long lost friends catch up after seven years?” I asked.

  “Why do you keep saying we are friends?”

  “But we are, or should I say were? According to you it was just a fling. It meant nothing.” And there, I pointed out the one thing she had said to me that hurt me more than anything. That we were nothing, that everything I said meant nothing to her. She was quick to change the subject, which I welcomed. She looked into the crowd as she spoke. “Why are you here, anyway?”

  “One reason: Adriana. She drags me to these things and makes me donate a shitload of money.” Fuck yeah, she did. I think this donation was like one hundred thousand dollars. It was a crazy amount, but fuck, it wasn’t like I didn’t have the money. What else was I going to spend it on? I had everything I wanted. Well, nearly everything. Something told me no amount of money could buy me the one thing I was after.

  “So you’re no longer practicing medicine? I’m gathering by what you said earlier about your company.”

  There was so much she didn’t know about me but I didn’t want to have this conversation on the dance floor. I asked her to meet me afterwards for a drink. I knew she heard me but chose to ignore me. So I did what I did best: I caused another shitstorm.

  “How long have you and Julian been together?” I wanted to know if she would tell me the truth.

  “Why, Lex? Does it matter? What about you? I’m guessing you’re no longer with Samantha since you hooked up with another blonde,” she snapped.

  I calmly explained the scenario, a small part of me hoping it made her jealous which could only mean she still cared. Her face scrunched up when she got angry and I smirked, hoping she would lighten up, but I was wrong. The crowd stopped dancing to applaud the band and she took the opportunity to end the dance. She thanked me and walked away. I walked back to my table, forgetting about my date, Brooke. She looked at me, a blank expression on her face.

  “Who is she, Lex?” Her tone was flat, not at all jealous. This was strange. I wasn’t used to calm women around me.

  “Who? The brunette?” I looked over and saw that Julian had his arms around her. Fuck! I was angry as hell, not to mention horny after that fucking dance. She was smiling. Why couldn’t she do that with me? Oh that’s right, she used to. Before I fucked everything up. “Just someone from high school. No one special.” The words hurt to even say them.

  “Listen, Lex, there’s something you should know.” Brooke twisted her napkin, nervously looking around. I was intrigued. Was she going to tell me she was a fucking virgin or something? “I only agreed to this date to please my parents.”

  I laughed at the irony of it all. “Your parents? Brooke, I don’t think your dad likes me one bit.”

  “See, the thing is that, um…” She nervously drank the rest of her champagne and placed the empty glass on the table. “I’m not interested in you. Sorry, I mean, not just you—in men.”

  I was confused. I looked at her, trying to understand before it clicked. “Oh, shit! I’m so sorry, Brooke. I get it now. You prefer your own kind.” I couldn’t help but chuckle slightly.

  She laughed, immediately relaxing. “Yes I do, Lex. I’m sorry, I haven’t gone public and my father’s in the middle of an important campaign.”

  “Secret’s safe with me but only if you do one thing: pretend you are at least interested in me for the night. It might come in handy later.” Yes, I had a plan. It just needed to be executed.

  “Deal. I’m sure I can play a straight lady for one night.” We both
laughed, knowing how fucked up this all was. I was glad there was no longer awkward tension between us. Adriana sure knew how to pick ‘em. But anyway, it was time to take care of another problem.

  “I’ll be back,” I said. “I just need to use the restroom.”

  I quickly walked through the crowd, stopping occasionally to greet people I knew. Once I was in the restroom, I shut the door behind me, unzipped my pants and pulled my cock out. It was throbbing. With every stroke came pleasure. I closed my eyes, remembering her standing in front of me, her chest exposed slightly in her dress. Her tanned skin itching to be kissed, the trail leading to her full breasts. I tried to remember what her nipples looked like, how they felt in my mouth. The squeal she would make when I tugged on them with my teeth. Instantly I blew all over my hand. It wasn’t taking me long these days. Fuck. I grabbed some tissues and wiped my hand, then threw them down the toilet and flushed. I gave myself a moment to calm down before I zipped up my pants and headed out of the stall to wash my hands. Just as I stood there at the basin, Julian walked in. Stellar!

  “So did you enjoy your dance with Charlie? Just like old times, hey?” OK, what game was this fucker playing?

  “Just like old times. But hey, you heard her, we were just high school kids back then,” I answered, playing dumb.

  “But you weren’t in high school. If I remember correctly from my research, you graduated in 2000. So when you and Charlie dated you were like, what, twenty-three? And she was eighteen?”

  “What’s your point?”

  “And you were married at the time. See, Lex, this is the thing. We always want what we can’t have.”

  “I had her. What the fuck are you trying to say?” He wanted to play dirty, but he was messing with the wrong guy, that motherfucker.

  “Exactly. You had her but you couldn’t keep her.” He checked his face in the mirror and adjusted his tie at the same time. “Just remember who she’s with now and whose bed she’ll be in tonight.” Then he walked out.

  FUCK YOU! I wanted to yell. She didn’t deserve that jerk, but she didn’t deserve me either. If anything I was an even bigger jerk for letting her go in the first place. I stood there staring at myself in the mirror. I didn’t know who I had become anymore. I knew the only way I could deal with what happened was to control what I did from that moment. It worked out well on the business side of things, but I was alone. No one could get close to me; I knew I put up a wall. My family gave up a long time ago trying to get me to loosen up and have fun. But here she was, standing in front of me, loving someone else. She was the missing piece to all this. I wasn’t stupid. I knew I wanted her again but I had to learn to control my anger around her. I couldn’t go back to being the Alex she once knew, and that was the problem here. I knew she felt like she didn’t know me anymore. Did I?