“Please let me go Carter,” she now begged. “I just want to get over this, over you. And I can’t do that when you’re here. If you’ve come to apologize, don’t bother. I forgive you. If you’ve come to explain, save it for Christine. She’s the one who needs your explanation, not me. I just want to move on.” Suddenly exhausted, she sagged into his hold, reveling in the heat of his body on hers for one last time, even as she hated herself for being so weak to him.
Suddenly Carter’s breath was behind her ear, his lips nibbling on its lobe, his tongue brushing her neck. “I don’t want you to get over me, Abby. And the only one who needs an explanation is you. I am not marrying Christine. She is pregnant, but it’s not my baby.”
Abby spun in his arms to face him, while simultaneously pushing her body out of his grasp. Confusion and skepticism warred in her mind, mixed with more than a little hope and relief.
“But what about the article? And what about what I heard Christine say on the phone? She was talking about her boobs to you, Carter. And when I asked you to tell me it wasn’t true, you didn’t do that. So what should I think? Which truth do I believe?”
Carter shook his head. “It’s crazy and complicated, but the truth is that I was never with Christine romantically. You have to believe me. I swear it.”
Carter reached out to Abby and pulled her back into his arms. She held herself stiffly against him, not ready to accept his words. “It’s only been you for me, Abby. Just you. Let me show you this is all about you.”
At his declaration, Abby softened without even realizing it, clinging to the hope that his words gave her. Carter took advantage her body relaxing into his by reaching up with the hand that had been around her waist to squeeze a breast, and rub his thumb over her nipple. When she gasped as he stroked her again, and then pinched her, he took advantage of the moment by sliding one of his thighs between her legs and pressing up on the center of her. She couldn’t stop herself from grinding back against his leg, working her pussy on his leg. He pressed harder against her, and began to rub his leg against her in a rhythm that matched her own movements. His other leg kicked the water and was the only thing keeping them afloat now. His hand switched its attention to her other breast, alternating pinching her nipple and rolling it between his fingers and pulling on it, teasing its peak to ever greater heights.
Carter then moved his leg from between hers, and smiling against her neck at her whimper of protest, replaced it with his hand, his fingers sliding under the fabric of her suit to probe her inner lips and slip easily inside her. She bucked against his hand, and pressed her clit onto his thumb, riding his fingers in an ever-increasing rhythm, and then into a climax that spasmed her whole body. Had he not been holding her up, she would have sunk deep into the water, her liquid muscles unable to keep her up.
While her climax was still fading, the realization of what she’d just let him do to her, again, took hold, and Abby snapped back into reality. Breaking from his hold, she struck out for shore, too confused, and really, too curious to run from him again. He followed her. Though she knew he could overtake her and beat her back, he let her have the lead, staying a length behind her. Whether it was out of respect, or to keep an eye on her to keep her from taking off again, Abby could only guess.
Abby reached the dock and climbed the ladder and sank onto the smooth, sun bleached wood, letting her legs dangle in the water. Carter settled himself beside her, close enough that she could feel the heat radiating off his skin, but not quite touching her. He gave her that, at least. He already knew that she couldn’t resist his touch, thankfully he didn’t rub it in. She did take some satisfaction in noting the bulge of his erection under the thin cotton of his boxers, knowing it must be causing him quite a bit of discomfort.
“So…” she opened. “Go ahead and talk. I’m not sure I want to listen, and even if I do, I don’t promise that whatever you have to tell me will make everything okay. Let’s just get this over with.”
“Abby, if you really want to leave without hearing what I have to say, I will let you go and I will not try to stop you. But I swear to you that I have not betrayed you, or Christine. I just need some time to explain. Please let me. If you don’t feel like I, like we, deserve a second chance after you hear what I have to tell you, then I will leave and never bother you again. But I need you to hear me out first. Please.” He spoke quietly and sincerely, and sounded sad.
Abby nodded, indicating he could talk.
“I wanted to explain when we were on the phone, but there were people coming in and out of the room, and I had no real feeling of privacy. Christine was one of them, I’m guessing you heard her in the background. But our mothers were involved as well. It was a crazy situation, and I was guarding a secret that wasn’t mine to share. Not then, because I’d have to let it out to our families as well, and I couldn’t do that to Christine. And I knew it would take more than a minute to explain, to give you the answers that you deserved from me. And then everything spiraled out of control and I was caught up in the mess.”
Carter sighed, giving her leg a squeeze, before continuing.
“I love Christine, and she has been struggling with something for a long time. I had to give her my support. And when I say I love her, I mean that she is like a sister to me, and nothing more. Never anything more. Well, there was one misguided, drunken kiss when we were still teenagers, but that was more of a test than anything else…”
Abby looked at him then. “You’re not making any sense. What secret, what about the baby?”
“The secret that I was entrusted with is that Christine is a lesbian. She’s known it since she was a young teen. I suspected for a while, but never asked. I was distracted by my own hormones and budding sexuality and didn’t really bother with hers. I should have paid more attention, though, seen the struggles she was going through. But I didn’t. The night we kissed is when she finally admitted it to me, though I remember that hearing her say it didn’t come as a surprise. I guess I knew without really knowing, if that makes any sense. Anyway, she wanted us to kiss because she said I was the cutest guy she knew, and she trusted me. She figured if she didn’t feel anything during the kiss, then she’d know for sure she wasn’t into men. So we kissed, and I won’t pretend I didn’t feel anything, because I was a teenage boy, and would get erections from just about anything. But I knew there wasn’t any real spark there, and she confirmed it. And that was that. We were able to stay friends, and not have any messy relationship drama get in the way of that.”
Carter stared out over the water as he continued the story.
“You’ve heard of our families, or you’ve heard of similar families. Her parents are conservative Republicans from the South. A gay daughter just wasn’t something they were prepared to accept. And though they have their faults, certainly, maybe more than most, Christine loved them, and they loved her. She didn’t want to make them choose between their morals and between her, because she was never quite sure which one they’d pick. So she stayed in the closet, and kept her romantic relationships discreet. She also kept them casual, so there was never a point at which she had to come out to them. Instead, she used me as her date when she needed to make an appearance to keep her parents’ questions at bay.”
Carter’s hand was resting lightly on the deck between the two of them. His little finger was tapping the wood distractedly while he talked. Every so often, it would brush Abby’s thigh, searing her skin with his touch.
“We’ve been chugging along like that ever since…until Christine fell in love. Suddenly she was faced with the choice she’d been avoiding for years: her lover or her parents. She wanted to find a way to keep both. She wanted to get married, but had been afraid to come out to her parents, fearing they’d disown her. She hesitated in telling them for too long, and her girlfriend issued an ultimatum: tell her parents or she would leave. Christine said she needed more time, so her girlfriend, Amy, left. Grieving and desperate, Christine kind of flipped out. She thought, I
don’t know, that she could will herself to be straight or something. What happened, is she decided to try men again, and went out and had a one night stand with some guy. She knew right away it was a failure, she would never be attracted to men the way she was to women, and to Amy in particular. After that failed experiment, she was determined to win Amy back, knowing she’d only be happy if she could also live her life honestly.”
Now Carter’s index finger was running lightly up and down Abby’s leg. It appeared to be a subconscious movement, but Abby wondered if he was only pretending to be oblivious to the motion of his hand, and the sensations he was sparking in her.
“Christine finally told her parents that she was gay, and begged them to accept her as she was. She also begged her girlfriend to take her back. I was the only one who knew all this was going on with her, and I felt like I needed to be around to support her in any way I could. That’s where I was when I was travelling to New York, and where I’ve just been.”
His palm was fully on her now, and he squeezed her thigh gently. Abby struggled not to become too distracted by it, and banked the flickers of desire that were dancing in her stomach and lower.
“The night you and I made love was the most perfect night I’ve ever had. I couldn’t wait to wake up with you in the morning. But then Christine called, sobbing, and begged me to come. She was so distraught I didn’t even think about it, I just went. I thought I’d go there, calm her down, and be back in time to take you out to dinner. All I could think about was being back with you and making love to you again. But Christine hadn’t told me the whole story before I left. If she had, I never would have left the way I did, without an explanation to you, without telling you everything. She led me to believe that she just needed a little moral support. Instead, I walked into a shit-storm.”
Carter shook his head, as if still in shock from the situation. Abby stayed silent, listening. When he said he had an explanation, Abby never though the story would be going in this direction.
Carter continued, “When she told her parents, they refused to believe her. Just flat out said they didn’t accept it. She was not gay. She was mistaken. Christine and her parents had a huge blowout, and Christine left. She fled to her girlfriend Amy’s house and begged for her forgiveness. Thankfully Amy took her back.
But like I said, her parents were in denial. After Christine left for Amy’s, her mother let herself into Christine’s apartment to snoop around, looking for evidence of…something. What she found was a used pregnancy test that was positive. Christine’s one experience of sex with a man had left her pregnant. Her mother took this to mean she couldn’t possibly be a lesbian. Whether she actually believed it herself or was just grasping at straws, she called my mother and convinced her that I was the father. Somehow, she also convinced my mother that the only way to avoid a scandal was to announce that we were engaged. Then she went ahead and posted the item in all the papers.
“My mother didn’t exactly protest the situation. She’s been hounding me for years to get married and start spitting out babies…or more accurately, spitting out heirs to carry on the Price legacy. So the thought that she could speed along my decision was more than she would resist. She went along with Christine’s mother’s scheme. They had actually deluded themselves enough to trust that once it was announced, we would both just go along with it.”
Carter shook his head with disbelief. Obviously, he himself was still taking in the full craziness of the situation.
“When I arrived that morning, I didn’t know about the announcement. I thought I was just there for Christine. But then I heard the news. My one thought was to get to you, tell you it was all a lie. Christine begged me not to say anything to contradict the story just yet. She wanted to talk calmly with her parents and get them to understand before going public with the truth. Even after they treated her, she was still thinking of them and wanting to give them a chance to come to grips with the situation before the rest of the world knew they had a gay daughter. It’s more than they deserved, in my opinion, but I wanted to respect her wishes. I have to admit, I was in shock and I was still trying to get the whole story. I didn’t even know what to tell you until I knew the whole truth myself. I couldn’t say anything on the phone with you because I was afraid someone would overhear and leak the story before Christine was ready to tell it. By the time I had the whole story, it was too late. You refused to take my calls or return my texts, and I was so afraid I’d lost you.”
His hand was gripping her thigh firmly now, as if he was trying to assure himself that she was really there, that he hadn’t lost her again.
“I came back to town, determined to make you talk to me. Only you were gone, and no one would tell me where you’d gone. Then, yesterday, the real story broke, and Christine went on record with the truth. Max saw the story, gave me a truly terrifying talking to about what he would do to me if I ever hurt you, and finally gave me directions to the cabin. And here I am…begging you to forgive me. I’m begging you to give me another chance.”
Abby thought about everything Carter had said, and everything he’d done. Finally, she said softly, “Ok, I forgive you.”
Carter’s face brightened with hope for a moment before he saw the sadness on hers and realized her acquiescence had come far too quickly to be a positive thing for him.
“Why don’t I feel like this is a good thing?” he asked.
“I do forgive you, for the story about Christine. I get that was all just a weird thing. But what I can’t get over is that every time that damn phone of yours rings, you run off to take care of whoever it is on the other end. Every time you go running off to someone, it means that you’re also running away from me. I’ve had enough of people leaving me. I need to be a priority in someone’s life. I refuse to settle for someone who will always take care of someone else first.”
“Oh, Abby,” Carter replied. “I’m so sorry. It didn’t occur to me that this was creating you so much pain. I should have, though, knowing what I do your parents and everything they’ve put you through. I guess I didn’t think about it like that because to me, it has never been about leaving you. It has always been about going to Christine because that was the quickest way I knew how to help her so I could come back to you. Everything I’ve done since I met you has been to get closer to you. I bought the house on the Cape just so I didn’t have to leave you! I can promise you, though, that it won’t be like that again. I told Christine that before I left. I told her it’s time for us to move on from each other and the way we’ve relied on one another over the years. I told her there was someone in my life now, and I couldn’t drop everything to come to her aid anymore. No matter what happens with Christine and Amy, I will never leave you like that again. I promise.”
Here Carter paused, and looked at Abby hopefully. His hand had moved to the upper part of her leg, and his finger was now dipping into the inner part of her thigh, sending delicious trembles of excitement skittering through her. She couldn’t think like this, so she scooted back and stood up.
“I need to think about this. I believe you, but I have to figure out what’s going on in my head, and what my feelings are for you. And I don’t even know what you think about me. Where you see this,” she wagged her finger back and forth between them “going.”
Carter looked back at her quizzically. “Do you really not know how I feel about you?” he asked. “I love you, Abby, so deeply that my heart hurts just thinking about it. I cannot stop thinking about you, or keep myself from touching you when you’re near,” and here he reached out for her, brushing his knuckles down her cheek. “If I could bury myself in you forever, I would be eternally happy. You’re the first thing I think about when I open my eyes in the morning, and the last thing on my mind when I go to sleep at night. I can’t stand being apart from you. I love you with everything that I am. That’s how I feel about you, Abby. And also this.” Carter grabbed her hand and pressed it onto his erection. “This is what you do to me…all the time. M
y balls ache every second I’m not buried deep inside you.”
Abby pulled her hand back.
“I’m sorry,” she said, determinedly ignoring the wounded look on his face, “But I’m just not sure yet. I need more time.”. She turned her back to him and took a step away.
She let him suffer a moment longer before spinning back around and launching herself into his arms. “Oh Carter, I love you too. So much!” she cried, kissing him hungrily. He captured her when she jumped at him, and now he wound her legs around his waist, supporting her weight by linking his arms under her buttocks.
He kissed her back, both of their mouths demanding, devouring each other, making up for the time spent apart. Abby could feel the smile of Carter’s mouth, and pulled back just long enough to look him in the eye. His grin mirrored her own. When she saw his eyes darken with arousal, Abby strained closer to Carter’s body, trying to touch every inch of his skin with hers. She rotated her hips into his waist, squeezing him with her thighs. His erection pressed back hard against her, and she tried to wiggle her way onto it. Her squirming caused Carter to stumble. Suddenly, he knelt with her onto the dock, taking the weight off of him and pressing down on her body. She arched up to meet him.
“Let’s go inside, Abby.” He growled against her neck, trying to disengage from her.
“Too far,” she murmured, wrapping her legs tighter around his waist. “Here. Now.” She ordered him.
He looked up and glanced around the area. No other houses were visible from the dock, and the house and the grounds were hidden from the road. It was secluded enough.
“Works for me,” he responded, and rolled them both over so he lay on the dock and Abby was resting on top of him. “You’re the boss,” he told her.
Abby straddled his lap, letting his cock into the vee between her legs, rocking on him and eliciting a groan that erupted from deep in his belly. She pulled the straps of her bathing suit off her shoulders and freed her breasts to the air, letting them spill into his waiting hands. He caressed them as if they were made of the finest silk, and murmured “God, Abby, you’re so beautiful. And you feel so good, so right in my hands and you fit so perfectly on top of me.” He lifted his head to grasp one nipple into his mouth, letting his tongue lap across its hard tip.
The Price of Love Page 15