by Cade, Trista
I stopped for a second and stared down at the swirls of grease sitting on top of my taco salad, unable to even think that through. I knew what I didn’t want to do, and that was hurt Javier. But there was no way to do the right thing here without hurting everybody involved. I just hoped I had the courage to say it to his face this time.
“I don’t even know.”
Chapter Nineteen
The apartment hunt took longer than I thought it would because my parents managed to find something wrong with every apartment they looked at. Some were in bad neighborhoods, others didn’t include utilities, and some were too far from campus, whatever that meant. It’s not like I didn’t have a car.
Wait! My car! Was I going to lose my car now that I didn’t hold up my end of the bargain with the sorority? They couldn’t take my car! I named her and everything! I was NOT about to lose my shiny new car over a bunch of snooty mcsnooties. I wouldn’t go down without a fight.
But it didn’t matter, not yet anyway, since my parents couldn’t make up their minds about where I was going to live. I gave up hope of it being any time this week when my parents began discussing hiring a real estate agent and just buying a condo, talking about what a great investment it would be and how they could make a return on it when I graduated.
“Oh, and if Andie decided to go to graduate school here, that would help her out there, too,” my mother stated.
“Yes, and ownership of property is always a good money decision,” Javier interjected while my mother nodded in agreement. Did I mention that Javier was still cooking for us? What? It had only been three days that we had crashed at his apartment, forcing him to bunk next door in what had to be the nicest servant’s quarters ever built.
The apartment search was killing me. Well, not the actual apartment searching since all of it took place while I was in class, but the staying on at Javier’s apartment and taking advantage of his kindness. I couldn’t very well dump him while we were shacking up at his apartment and throwing him out on the street, but I also hated to drag this out and lead him on, knowing that his safety and our happiness weren’t going to work out together. I felt guilty every time I dried off on one of his soft towels or ate another bite of his fantastic cooking.
And my parents weren’t helping. I have never known those two to be so much in love, but every time I turned around they wanted to go have a romantic couple’s dinner or go take another look at some property or just walk around the campus and reminisce about their college days. I knew those two all too well. It was a plot to keep me alone with Javier. Those little sneaks knew I didn’t think it was a good idea to keep stringing him along, but here they were, leaving us alone or insisting that we go out so they can watch an old seventies movie. It’s a plot, I swear.
On our fourth night crashing at Javier’s, my parents took another chance to meet a realtor and go condo searching, leaving Javier and me to watch a movie on his couch. The same couch where we...never mind. We sat together watching the TV intently, our hands intertwined. I fought so hard within my own head that I couldn’t even follow the movie. When a tear slipped out of my eye, Javier immediately snatched up the remote and turned off the movie. Terrified, he pulled me close to him, kissing my cheeks where more tears fell.
“Andie, please. Tell me what is making you cry,” he said breathily, holding a handful of my hair to his cheek. “You have been so sad this week.”
“This,” I said with a quiet sob. “I can’t do this. Javier, I care about you so much, but I’m afraid for you. You sneak away from Diego to spend time with me and you are turning your back on your family while you hide out here. But how long can it last? What if something happens to you?”
“Andie,” he began quietly before pausing, choosing his words carefully to make sure that he translated them correctly. “You...”
“What, Javier? Just go ahead and tell me, don’t worry about choosing the right words.” I couldn’t argue with someone if I didn’t know where he stood.
“You...are a crazy person. I don’t know what you are talking about.” He finally laughed, giving up on trying to translate which was okay since I pretty much understood what he said.
“I’m talking about this!” I cried, jumping up off the sofa and bringing him the portrait of him with his sisters. I held out the picture, pointing to where his sisters stood with their arms around him, smiling sadly.
Javier took the picture from my hand slowly and held it close, studying it carefully before looking up at me. “This is upsetting to you?” he asked quietly.
“Of course it upsets me! Look at you, all of you! More importantly, look at where your brothers aren’t. They aren’t there, four members of your family...GONE! And if you’re not careful because you’re spending all your time with me instead of being safe and taking care of yourself, you won’t be there anymore either!” A fresh deluge of tears ran down my face and I didn’t care. I had to make Javier understand that the young family in the picture was so much more important than I was.
“Andie, this is not me.”
I hiccupped back a sob before sniffling, making all kinds of incredibly gross noises before I was finally able to talk, and even then I could only manage to sound stupid. “What?”
“This is not me or my sisters. This is my cousins and my aunt.”
“Your aunt? No, there’s no way.”
“Yes, I have told you that girls often get married young, not like America. See? This is my aunt, Caterina, and my cousins Miguel, Irina, and Irma. Why would you worry that this is my family?”
My own stupidity was mortifying. Here I was crying and snotting like a little girl, and I was looking at the wrong kids. I was beyond embarrassed.
“Andie, it is unbelievable that you would be so worried about me. That makes me happy.”
“You’re happy that I thought you were on the run from drug dealers who had already killed most of your family?”
“I am on the run from drug dealers, as you say, and they did kill several people in my family. That’s why I am here, though. I will not go back to Colombia. There is nothing for me there.”
“But what about your family?” I asked, kind of confused about how he could just leave his mom and sisters in another country and hang out here, not knowing when something could happen to them.
“But Andie, my family lives here. They do not live in Colombia anymore.” He looked confused again.
“But, what about Diego, and having to have a bodyguard?” I pointed out, still clinging to the idea that Javier was in some kind of mortal danger.
“Diego is a distant relative who came to live here to go to school, too. His father refused to let him take charity from my mother’s family, so we let him think that he works for me. It is his pride and his family’s honor, and I would never make him feel like he takes our money as a gift. He works very hard...doing almost nothing! I don’t need a bodyguard, but if it makes him feel like a man who earns a real wage, I will let him do that forever, if he wants,” Javier said with a light laugh. There he went again, being all perfect. He gave someone a job just to make the kid feel like a real man. Wow.
“So, I got upset and worried and was going to tell you I couldn’t go out with you anymore, all for nothing?” I asked, torn between crying over my own confusion and laughing through my tears at the thought that I could really have Javier in my life.
“You were going to make me leave?” he asked quietly.
“Well, no. Technically, I think you would have had to make me leave,” I said, trying to laugh while I gestured at the apartment. He wasn’t smiling.
“That makes me sad that you would want to not see me. Why would you think that?”
“Javier, it was only so that I could keep you safe. I saw how much time you spent with me and how you never let Diego protect you when I was around. I couldn’t stand it if you got hurt because I made you be careless.”
“I will never be hurt, unless you tell me to leave,” he began, still holding my cheek i
n the palm of one hand. I didn’t let him say anything else.
“That’s good, because I really suck at not wanting to be near you. If that’s what I had to do, I was going to leave you. But never because I wanted to. You have to believe me.”
I pulled his face close to mine and kissed him, not caring if my parents, Diego, or the freaking real estate agent walked through the door right then. I had denied myself this closeness with him because I thought I was doing the right thing, but I only managed to hurt us both.
Javier pressed me tightly against his chest and turned us both to lie back on the couch, running one strong hand up my leg, breaking our kiss long enough to slide his lips down my neck and lingering behind my ear only long enough to whisper, “I am here forever, Andie. I love you.”
I kissed him again frantically for a moment, clutching at the fabric of his shirt before helping him slide it off over his head and running my hands down both of his solid arms. I turned my face to look up into his ocean-deep eyes only long enough to say, “I love you, too.”
Chapter Twenty
As luck would have it, Javier wasn’t kidding about the goat. Or the horse. They’re both an acquired taste, I guess, but I can now honestly say that I’ve tried them both. And that I’ve now officially done anything for love.
The Thetas sent an actual committee to beg me to come back, and I’m really glad there were no hard feelings, not even from Quinn. I kind of suspect she was standing at the front of the committee more to save her own skin than to welcome mine. But a sorority just isn’t who I am. I’m not good at following rules just because other people have been following them for a hundred years. And I’m really not good at letting someone else pick my friends. Luckily, that means that I’ve picked the sisters to be my friends, which suits me just fine.
I may have lost an entire sorority, but I managed to keep my car. Apparently, the bargain was that I only had to rush the sorority, not marry them. And speaking of married...
My parents finally found an apartment, shockingly, on the day after I told them all about my stupid mix-up and my decision to be with Javier. I’m sure I can safely say that my parents were thrilled, because I came out of the bedroom from moving another box of art supplies into my new apartment in time to hear my dad say, “A goat? Really? Well, if that’s what it takes...”
THE END
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About the Author
Trista Cade is a writer living in Destin, Florida. When not writing, she usually can be found paddleboarding on the crystal clear water of the Gulf of Mexico.
Copyright 2013 Trista Cade
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