I shook my head.
“Bathroom?”
I grabbed my glass of wine. “I need air.”
She smiled, and whispered to me. “Call him.”
I grabbed my phone, and decided she was right. It was time to do something about it. But what happened next, I hadn’t been expecting. I rounded the dark corner that connected the catering room with the rest of the restaurant, and I ran smack into Levi.
“What are you doing here?”
He smiled devilishly, “I came to rescue you, looks like you’re already running though.”
I pushed my hands against him. “Tell me about Japan.”
He looked stunned. “What?”
“You’re leaving and you didn’t tell me.”
“That wasn’t part of the arrangement.”
“Yeah, our little deal to protect your heart, but what about mine?”
“Yours?” His mouth dropped open a little.
“Are you going to Japan, yes or no?”
“Yes.” He stood tall, even though the hallway was narrow. We were still pressed against one another. My heart beating rapidly against my check, he could probably feel it too, we were so close.
“Then you shouldn’t be here. I need to protect myself too, Levi. I’m cutting off our deal this time. I can’t do it. I can’t hide my feelings anymore.”
“But all these years…”
I shrugged. “All these years, I was hiding my feelings for you. I don't even think I knew it myself. But I'm telling you now, Levi, I miss you so bad it hurts. And I know I don't deserve another chance, but I’m desperate to try again. But you’re leaving this time. There’s no way we can make this work from Florida to Japan, is there?”
I waited for a response, but he just stood there. His silence told me everything I needed to know. As I watched the hurt in his eyes, my heart broke for what could've been. So, I did the thing that I do best, and I ran. I heard him calling after me, but I couldn't stop, and if he wanted to chase me, he would have. But, instead, I found myself sitting on the beach in the dark alone. I sat on the sand crying, the blue fabric swirling around me like my secrets once had. I thought the truth would set me free, instead it swam around me threatening to drown me with every breath.
Twenty-Eight
The next morning, I climbed into bed with Mackenzie early, and we snuggled together for a while before it was time to get up. Hairdressers and makeup artists were coming to the house to prepare us for the big day. The ceremony was in a church, but the reception was outside, and Charity wanted to be sure our hair would be perfect for pictures. I knew that meant one thing: lots of hair spray.
I looked out the window, and saw the sun shining. The storm from the other day was long forgotten. But the drama in my life wasn’t, and neither were the broken pieces of my heart. But I tried to ignore that; I would have to go at it alone. Levi had made his choice, and I had made mine. I would be happy, regardless of what happened between us. Even though it hurt to breathe, I thought that time would make things easier for me. I told Mackenzie to wake up, but I gave her a few more minutes, and went downstairs to make myself some coffee. My dad was sitting at the kitchen table. I realized that we hadn't really spoken very much since my arrival, and that was probably partially my fault.
“Hi, Dad.”
He set down his paper, and held up his coffee mug to me. “Just made a fresh pot. You're welcome to it.”
“Hazelnut? My favorite.”
I filled up the mug, and sat down at the kitchen table across from him. He hadn't brought any of the furniture from the old house here, so we were sitting on barstools and at a modern table that didn't quite fit the rest of the house. “This table is weird. It doesn’t fit with the rest of the house,” I commented.
He laughed. “It's the one piece of furniture I got to pick out.”
I smiled at him. “I should've known. You always did like darker furniture. But, really, it's the only thing that you got to pick out?”
“Well this and all my office furniture. There is a Lazy Boy in there, but don’t tell Charity. Her designer wouldn't really like the faux leather.”
I nodded. “I bet she wouldn't.”
He looked around. “But I think this house has really come together. It feels like home.” He paused for a moment. “To me at least. I know that this will never be home to you and your sister.”
I sat down my mug. “That's okay though, Dad. It's not our home. It's yours, Charity’s, and the baby’s.” I put emphasis on the last word, and I watched as his face went pale.
“Charity told you, too?”
“Kenz spilled it to me.”
He shook his head. “I didn't think we were telling anyone until she was further along, and definitely not before the wedding. Her family is pretty religious.”
“Yeah, but Dad, she’s in her thirties, and you've been living together for like two years. They had to have known something was going on. I mean, really, who cares? We all make our own choices.”
I didn't know when I had suddenly become so nonchalant, but it was like it didn't matter to me that Charity was pregnant. I didn't feel replaced anymore; this wasn't my home. And Charity’s little bundle of joy would grow up here and live his or her life. And she would be my stepmother, and Dad would still be my dad. Things weren’t changing as much as I made them out to be, and yes, I had a bit of flair for the dramatic. He didn't say anything for a while, but took another sip from his hot coffee. I could see the steam still rising from the mug. Finally, he set it down, and held it between his hands. “You know, I never meant to hurt you girls, or your mother, either. And as much as she blames me for the divorce, she was ready to get out too.”
“I don't think she was. Mom didn't get out of bed for months after we moved to Florida. She mourned your marriage. She didn’t know what to do without you.”
The shock was written all over his face. “I didn't know. I thought she wanted out as much as I did.”
I shook my head. “No, I don't think she did. She's different now though, and, in a sense, maybe she is happier. She's definitely doing things I never thought she'd do. And I think that's good for her.” I didn't mention the fact that she might have a boyfriend. It wasn't my place.
He nodded. “Good for her. We both got a fresh start. I think Florida was good for all of you.”
“Yeah, we like it there. It's far from here, though.”
He picked up his newspaper again. “Sometimes, distance gives you the space you need from your problems.”
I sighed thinking about Japan, it was certainly going to give Levi and I space. “Yeah, I guess you're right.”
I grabbed my mug of coffee, and walked upstairs to wake Mackenzie. It only took another ten minutes before I wrangled her into the shower. It was steamy in our connecting bathroom, and she was blaring some Taylor Swift song from her phone. I had left mine on my side table; everybody knew about the wedding today, so nobody would call. And I would only use it to take pictures later.
“So, what do you think it be like when we go home?”
Mackenzie popped her head out from behind the shower curtain, her blonde hair dripping wet. “What do you mean?”
I leaned against the granite countertop. “About mom's boyfriend. I mean it's weird, isn't it?”
“Not really. People are allowed to move on, Lila.”
I knew that, all too well.
Twenty-Nine
As the hairdressers and makeup artists worked their magic on the two of us, we sat in silence, perhaps both contemplating the fact that our father was moving on today. He was making it official. And in some ways, I was proud of him; it was the right thing for him to do. I needed to start to value people's happiness above all else, even my own. I considered checking my phone to see if Levi had called me, but I knew if he hadn’t, I would just be more upset, and today wasn't my day. Charity’s sister was already being a bitch; she didn't need me to be an emotional wreck too.
“I don't really think my hai
r works like this. Can we try something different?”
The hairdresser looked frustrated, and sighed for the fourth time since starting Charity sister's hair.
“Leslie, I think it looks fine. And, I mean, really it doesn't matter what we look like; it's all about Charity.” Mackenzie was just trying to help; she didn't realize that her phrasing would only make it worse.
“Start over. I want it lower on my head; this isn’t a nineteen eighty-five prom you know.”
The stylist started to unpin her hair, and Mackenzie gave me a look that said, “Let's not talk to her anymore.”
I nodded. Crazy cat lady had struck again. It took over two hours for all of us to get ready, but when we stood side-by-side in front of my bathroom mirror, I realized that Charity really had done a great job picking out those black dresses. We looked beautiful. Mackenzie's long blonde hair was pinned up in tendrils at the nape of her neck, my typical brunette mess had been made into a sleek bun on top of my head, and Leslie had gotten her way with a small braided bun sitting just above her neck. We all looked unique, but the dresses tied us together. Charity was sitting in the hairdresser’s chair when we walked in, and the look on her face was priceless. I may not have liked her very much, but it was clear that she loved my father, and that this was the happiest day of her life. Her gown with simple, with a plunging neckline in the front and a stark dip in the back. It had a lace band going around the waist and down the back. But the rest was a simple satin; it made her look elegant. I could just barely see her baby bump, but only because I was looking for it. Her family wouldn’t notice, and that was probably for the best.
We took a limo to the church, very Charity style, and the church was beautifully decorated in huge bouquets of baby pink roses. There was white fabric draped from each pew, and a long white carpet that ran down the aisle.
Mackenzie and I walked down the aisle together, hand-in-hand. We supported each other, and, as we arrived at the front of the church, I even saw Leslie tear up. As I stood at the altar and saw the smile on my dad’s face when he saw Charity for the first time in her dress, I knew that he had made the right decision. I realized that it probably been over a decade since I'd seen him that happy when he looked at my mother, and while that broke my heart, I was glad to know that he had finally found someone that he was truly happy with. He loved Charity, even though she was crazy and high strung. But we all have our faults; it's what makes us human.
The reception was amazing. There was a giant white tent out behind the church in the Rose Garden. Charity hardly had to decorate because of all the beautiful natural flowers, but, of course, she went over the top. All the tables were draped in white linen with beautiful light pink roses in the middle of each table. She only used roses, and many of them she had inserted dazzling gems into the centers of. It was like a magical forest. Each chair was draped in white linens, as well with a light pink bow tied to each one. And they had a sweetheart table, which was nice for Kenz and I, so we wouldn't have to sit with them. There were about a hundred guests; everyone was milling around, drinking, and listening to the live band as they played some slower tunes before dinner started. My dad had asked me to give a toast; he said it only had to be short and sweet, but I wanted to make sure it was genuine. I held a small folded piece of paper in my hands, and turned it over and over as I waited for the toasts began.
“What did you write about?”
“Whatever I could think of about Dad. I mean I don't really know much about Charity, so I figured I’d just write about him.”
Mackenzie smiled. “That makes sense. You probably know him better than most people.”
“You could say that. But, I mean, I haven't really been around him the past few years, I think he's changed.”
Mackenzie raised her eyebrows. “We all have. We've grown up these past five years. A lot has changed.”
I thought about it all; a lot had changed and not so much. The way I felt about Levi hadn't changed; even though all day I had been thinking about letting go, I still hold onto some hope. I heard the clicking of glasses behind me, and saw Charity and my dad kissing at their table. There were servers starting to fill up the buffet trays, and I knew that my moment would be soon.
“The toast to the bride and groom!” Charity’s father said as he raised his glass.
Leslie spoke next. It was a nice speech and short, highlighting some of their best memories together as sisters. I looked at Mackenzie, thinking that one day I would be giving the same speech for her. But as she twirled her hair on her finger, I was glad I had at least another ten years before that happened.
It was my turn next. After the clapping subsided from Leslie's toast, I stood up with my glass and my crumpled piece of paper that had all my feelings about my dad on it. I took a deep breath. “My dad is a wonderful man. He always taught us girls how a woman should be treated. With respect and kindness, but the best thing about my dad is that he also thinks women should be treated with gifts.” There were a couple giggles from the crowd. “And Charity is lucky to have him, and all the gifts that he will bring to her. But, I know that right now my dad thinks that his biggest gift is a present to him. And that present is Charity.” I looked directly at her. “He loves you, and I hope that you spend the next hundred years giving each other gifts every day. To my father and new stepmother, cheers!” I heard a resounding cheer from the crowd, and some people clinking their glasses together, then the silence as everyone drank the champagne. The music had just begun to play when I heard someone say, “I have a toast.”
I recognized the voice. My head spun around to see Levi standing next to the band in a perfectly crisp black suit and tie. He had a glass in his hand, and a smile on his face. “I know this is unorthodox because I wasn't invited to toast. However, I have some feelings that I think are appropriate. So, I wrote down a few things that I think you should remember when trying to love someone.” My breath caught in my chest. I struggled for air as he crossed the dance floor, and walked to my table. Mackenzie hit my arm, and jumpstarted my heart.
He eyes met mine. “You should always run in the rain, always lie on the beach, look at the stars and dream about being among them. You should hold hands and run through fields in the breeze of Spring. You should swim in the ocean whenever you want to. You should try new things, meet new people, and go new places. But you should always come home, too, where people know you best.” He turned away from me, and looked at my dad and Charity. “You should love one another so fiercely that it hurts to breathe without the other one close to you.” He looked back at me once more. “And you should play. Because it fills your heart, and makes you feel right inside.” At that moment, the keyboard player from the band stood up, and extended his hand to his seat. Levi reached for my hand, and I fearfully gave it to him. He led me over to the stage, and, as I walked onto it, I felt completely overwhelmed by all the people watching me. When I looked at my dad, he just smiled. Clearly Levi had made a plan.
I flattened the bottom of my dress, and sat down, allowing my fingers to find their place on the plastic keys. I had to think of the right song, something that would show Levi that I knew he was talking to me. Luckily, the answer was right in front of me. Sitting on the stand was the sheet music for John Legend’s “All of Me.” I nodded to Levi as he took my seat next to Mackenzie. Slowly, I started to play the ballad, and I moved with the music as it flowed out of the keyboard. I put every emotion I had into that song. I closed my eyes when I knew the notes, and just let it happen. Levi had come to tell me that he loved me, and I was dying inside, trying not to let my heart jump straight out of my chest into his lap. But the music calmed me, and said everything that I didn't know I could. It said how much I needed him, loved him, and how I would make up for every wrongdoing that I had done to us. For every truth we both had omitted over the years. I had missed him so much. As the song came to a close, and the audience erupted with applause, I could only see one person in the crowd, Levi. He remained seated with a smug s
mile on his face. Charity and my father came up to me and hugged me tightly, clearly thinking the whole event had been planned. The band started playing again, and servers began ushering people to the buffet. I walked back to my table, but Levi was gone.
“Kenz, where did he go?”
She nodded her head toward the garden. “Gazebo.”
As I turned to go there, she stopped me. “Lila!” I turned back around. “Tell him. Tell him you love him. Because he’s clearly crazy about you. Also I hear Japanese food is awesome.”
I walked onto the grass, and my heels sunk just a little bit, as I made my way to the gazebo. Levi stood with his back to me, looking out into the night over the garden. There were twinkling lights dangling from the top that gave the whole place a nice little glow. “You came.”
He had his hands in his pockets, and he turned around to greet me.
“Of course I came. A girl doesn't just tell you that she wants to try again, and you let her go.”
I shook my head. “But you did let me go last night.”
“I had to figure some things out, make some changes to my plans.”
“Like what?”
“Japan.”
“Levi, no. You can’t give up football for me. That’s crazy.”
He sighed, “Okay so what if you came with me instead?”
My mouth dropped open. “To Japan? With you? But what about keeping your head down and focused on the game? What about all eyes on you? Our arrangement?”
He laughed. “I can’t focus when you’re not around. The coach will understand. And our arrangement has been over since the minute I kissed you this summer. I thought I could bury my feelings, but there was no fucking way.”
He took his right hand from behind my waist, and placed it on my cheek, pulling me close to him, and laying a soft kiss on my lips. I flung my arms around his neck, and he picked me up with his left arm, so that my feet no longer touched the ground. When he set me back down, I was breathless. “What are we going to do?”
Over the Line: A Bad Boy Sports Romance Page 13