by Taylor Dean
It won’t be easy, but it’ll be worth it. It will require all the love in our hearts.
Every single ounce.
I know my mother is smiling in heaven.
I just hope I’ll still be smiling in a few years as well. With Julian at my side, how could I not be? Regardless, after witnessing my sisters’ lives, I know how tough motherhood can be. But it’s rewarding as well. And I want to experience it.
“All packed?” Dakota asks.
“Just about.”
Suddenly Dakota’s arms are around me, hugging me tightly. “I’ll miss you, Savannah.”
I return the hug. “I’ll miss you too, Dakota. Thanks again for being such a good friend to me during all my ups and downs here.”
“Hey, no problem. Just know, when I have love troubles, I’ll be calling you.”
“I’ll be there for you. Any chance those phone calls will be about Hunter?”
A brief smile crosses her face. “Probably. He’s a cute kid.”
They’re taking things very, very slowly. Understandable, after Hunter’s bad experience. But I have a feeling Dakota and Hunter are perfect for each other.
“I hope things work out between you two,” I say.
“They already are.” Dakota can’t hide a secretive smile.
“Keep me posted.” I zip up my suitcase. We have a very early flight in the morning and we need to get some shut eye. “I’m gonna go down and say my goodbyes to Miss Li and Mr. Zhu. They’ve been so good to me this entire time.”
“Who?” Dakota says as she plops down on her bed.
“Miss Li and Mr. Zhu.”
“Who are they?”
I cast her a puzzled look. “You know, the desk clerk and the doorman at the back door. I always took the stairs so I got to know them pretty well. I think they have a crush on each other. For some reason, there’s something that keeps them from giving in to their feelings. I guess love is always complicated.” I hold up my hand before Dakota can protest. “I know, I know, you always took the elevator, so you never even met them. Don’t remind me of my stupid fear of elevators.”
Dakota stares at me quizzically. “I took the stairs at least once a day. You were always going on about how it was good exercise. I decided to follow your good example.”
“Oh, then you know Miss Li and Mr. Zhu.”
“No, never met them.”
“You must have. They’re always there. Always . . .” I trail off. They’re always there. Night and day.
Always . . .
“Savannah, there’s not a desk clerk or a doorman at the back door. There never has been.”
Is Dakota kidding? Messing with me? “What are you talking about?” Even as the words leave my lips, I know.
Wait, no.
It can’t be, can it?
“Excuse me.”
I take the stairs just as fast as my legs will carry me. “Miss Li!” I yell. “Miss Li!”
Mr. Zhu isn’t at the door. Miss Li isn’t at the desk.
The desk remains in place. The phone sits atop it.
Next to the phone is a beautiful pearl comb. A sliver of moonlight shines upon it, making the precious pearls glow.
I’ve seen that comb before. I know it immediately and everything falls into place.
I turn, glancing around, searching the room, but I’m very much alone.
No, I take it back. I’m not alone. I never have been. Ever. Miss Pearl has been with me all along, making sure I found the right Paul. Would she have intervened if I didn’t make the right choice? Yes, I believe so. I think she might’ve tossed the Chinese sayings aside and allowed her advice to be a little more direct had I not chosen correctly.
As my gaze travels back to the desk, I realize the pearl comb is now gone.
The rightful owner has claimed the comb. Perhaps it’s much too precious to part with.
It doesn’t matter. Like a calling card of sorts, its message has been received.
Thankfully so.
Epilogue
Five years later
I STROKE THE head of silky jet black hair and watch my precious baby’s eyes flutter. We need to leave in an hour, but she’s in desperate need of a power nap before we go.
I quietly close the door and walk down the hall. In the living room I find that Julian already has the twins ready to go. He’s dressed them in matching yellow dresses. Gia is sitting on his lap as he gently buckles her Mary Janes.
I don’t know why, but the simple sight warms my heart. Something about all that masculinity combined with a delicate little girl and her feminine shoes. He’s speaking quietly as he works, but I can’t make out what he’s saying. Whatever it is, Gia and Lily are a captivated audience.
“Okay, Lily, your turn,” Julian says as he places Gia on the couch next to him and moves Lily onto his lap. I watch, unbeknownst to them. I love to observe Julian with our little girls. He treats them so kindly, as if they’re fragile little creatures that’ll break if he so much as raises his voice.
They just might. They’re the softest, sweetest little three year olds I’ve ever met. They don’t like to be messy or sticky, they have tiny voices that I sometimes have to strain to hear, and their touch is like being tickled by a feather. They’re ultra-feminine and will spend all day sitting in the corner of the playroom playing with their baby dolls. We lucked out in the personality department with those two angels. They’re the perfect fit for me and my personality.
It took longer than we thought to adopt, but in the end we left China with twin two month old baby girls we’d saved from life at an orphanage. And neither one of us could stop smiling for several sleepless days.
We were settled in the States when the opportunity to adopt a three month old baby girl came our way. Emma just turned eighteen months and is already giving us a run for our money. She has a wail that could wake the dead and thinks sleep is for wimps. Her favorite pastime is tackling Gia and Lily and taking whatever toy they’re holding. Poor Gia and Lily are devastated each and every time. I spend most of my day protecting Gia and Lily from their little sister.
Sometimes Julian and I wonder how we’ll survive Emma. Regardless, she has won our hearts and we love our little Emma, strong personality and all. She’s a giggly and mischievous child, but she makes us all laugh and more often than not, she’s the main attraction in the house.
Julian finishes with Lily’s Mary Janes and cuddles both girls on his lap. He grabs a storybook and begins reading to them. They’re content to sit and listen and I know they’ll be busy for the next while, leaving me with some quiet time to get ready and take a deep breath.
I love my little family so very much and I wouldn’t trade them for the world. But I still need a break every now and then from the demands of my life.
As I style my hair, I reflect on our girls’ names. We wanted names that would sound similar in both Chinese and English. I think we chose well. We chose Gia because it’s Italian and is a little shout out to Julian’s heritage, yet it’s a common American name too. In Chinese it means “beautiful.” The Chinese pronunciation sounds more like “jah” since they tend to slur the two syllables. But, we decided it was close enough.
The thought process behind Lily’s name is a little more abstract. In Chinese, the name Li Li also means “beautiful” and we liked that both girls’ names had the same meaning. We also liked including the sound of “Li” because Miss Li/Pearl played such a huge part in bringing Julian and I together. The closest American name to Li Li that we liked was Lily.
I rather enjoy the hidden meanings in our children’s names.
In honor of my mother, the name Emma seemed perfect for our third baby. The Chinese pronunciation sounds like Ai ma, and we felt pleased with the similarity. The meaning of Emma is entire or whole, and since she made our family feel complete, it seemed fitting.
I love my three beautiful girls with all my heart. We may have saved them from a hard life, but they have saved me in countless ways as well. We m
ight adopt more children in the future, but for now we’re content.
Julian, my Paul, is the love of my life. He is everything to me, my very breath even. I can’t fathom my life without him. In the beginning our love was fragile and new. That love has grown every day and has become firm and strong. I love him so much, sometimes I think my heart will burst. I love the way he loves me with a quiet passion. I love the sound of his soft voice when he comes home from the restaurant at two in the morning. He climbs in bed, holds me close, tenderly kisses my lips, and whispers, “I love you.” Every time. Without fail.
It’s the little things in life that bring me the most happiness. Julian is good at the little things. Little things like carefully putting Mary Janes on our children’s feet.
Little things like letting the girls sit on his lap every single day while he reads to them—even when Emma is as wiggly as an excited puppy.
Little things like making an amazing breakfast and doing the dishes before he leaves for the restaurant every day. I used to think his handsome good looks and his gentle kiss were the things that made me adore him.
Now he does the dishes and I’m ready to pull him into the bedroom.
Reality has changed my perspective. However, a domesticated Julian has not changed his charm. He’s still the smooth and suave man I met at Burger, Burger. Now he’s a dedicated family man and it only increases his allure.
Music begins to play in the living room and I can’t help but smile at the sound of “Let’s Dance” by David Bowie. Julian loves to introduce his children to music, both old and new. The other day I found Julian and my sweet little girls head banging to a popular rock song.
Head banging.
Julian taught them to head bang.
At first I objected. Then I thought, “What the heck?” and joined them. Our girls thought that was the funniest thing they’d ever seen, as did Julian. I’m pretty sure I looked ridiculous. Plus, it gave me a headache. Still, the memory makes me smile.
I finish running the straightener through my hair and go to investigate. I find Julian dancing around the living room with one little girl standing on each foot. He’s moving in circles while they giggle adorably.
I love this man.
When he notices me, he smiles and his eyes light up.
“Hey Mom, come and join us.”
“Dance with us, Mommy,” Gia and Lily say almost in perfect unison. After my recent thoughts, I can’t imagine them with any other names. They suit them.
I move close and wrap my arms around Julian’s neck. He can’t reciprocate as he’s holding Gia and Lily so they don’t fall. I press my lips to his and even though I’m the one holding him, his lips hold me hostage.
I love kissing this man.
When the kiss is over, he says, “I’d rather stay here and see where this leads, but we’d better hit the road or we’ll be late.”
I smile and say, “Until tonight.”
He winks and says, “It’s a date.”
“I THINK JULIAN should close down Mr. Pow Pow’s and become my personal chef.” Sadie places the chicken in the pot and smiles.
It’s Saige’s birthday and we’re celebrating by having a family Hot Pot night at her house. Some special guests are due to arrive any minute and I’m so excited I can hardly sit still.
My sisters have never stopped swooning over Julian. They’re a tad obvious at times and I often feel embarrassed by their behavior. On the other hand, I’m glad they love him, so I don’t complain.
Saige rolls her eyes. “That’s not a secret, Sadie.”
“Sure it is. It’s the secret desire of my heart.”
Samantha chimes in. “Oh, come on, we all want that and it’s no secret.”
“Sorry, ladies,” Julian says. “I’m a personal chef for Savannah alone.”
I give him a quick kiss on the lips and don’t care if we are now the Jason and Lori of the group.
It’s Julian’s turn next and he can’t help but season the pot before adding water chestnuts. “I love my life,” he says with a crooked smile.
Restaurants are the number one failed business in America, yet Mr. Pow Pow’s is flourishing, much to Julian’s delight. I love how happy he is with our life.
I kiss him again, this time a little longer. But my sisters don’t say “gross” or hide their eyes and act disgusted. Instead they cast dreamy smiles at me and I feel like I’m on display. It’s not a feeling I enjoy. “Stop staring,” I tell them.
Saige gives the pot a stir. “Stop kissing in front of us.”
That’s not something I’m willing to do. When Julian’s close, I kiss him, like it’s a law of nature or something. I understand Jason and Lori so much now.
It’s my turn and I add the onions. “I love Julian.”
Everyone scoffs except Julian, who kisses me, of course.
Samantha frowns. “You say that every time we have Hot Pot night. It’s not a deep dark secret.”
I shrug. “Sorry, it’s the only one I have.”
The doorbell rings and I gasp. I hop to my feet and all but run to the door.
They look just the same as I remembered them. My blond and red haired friends stand on the doorstep with huge smiles on their faces.
“Hunter! Dakota! I’m so happy to see you.” I give them each a big hug and so does Julian. I notice Hunter prolongs his hug with Julian and pats him on the back several times. He’s eternally grateful to Julian.
Hunter and Dakota have now been married for two years and they seem blissfully happy. When I found out Hunter would be in Maryland on a business trip and that Dakota was going with him, I knew we had to meet up. They drove two hours just to be here tonight. I love them for making the effort. They’ll stay the night at our house tonight before catching a plane tomorrow morning.
Introductions and small talk take up the next twenty minutes as they meet the gang. Dakota is enamored with my little Chinese girls and holds Emma for much longer than Emma is usually willing.
Eventually, we settle down to continue our Hot Pot Night. Hunter and Dakota can’t hide their excitement.
“I’ve missed this,” Dakota says.
“I dream of this,” Hunter adds. “Really, I do.”
Dakota kisses his cheek. “He’s telling the truth. He sometimes mumbles the names of various types of food in his sleep. It’s the weirdest thing.”
They haven’t changed a bit.
We continue adding to our Hot Pot and when it’s Dakota’s turn she says, “Okay, here’s my secret: I’m grateful that I listened to a crazy Chinese lady on the streets of China. I know this sounds weird, but she stopped me one day and told me to give Hunter another chance. She said no one is perfect and we all make mistakes. She told me I would find happiness and true love with him, if only I could forgive. It was exactly what I was thinking, yet just what I needed to hear. I have no idea how she knew my name or Hunter’s name, but she spoke to me as if she knew me. I think she was a parent of one of the kids I taught.” Dakota laughs and adds noodles to the pot. She pauses when she realizes all of us have gone still and are staring at her with wide eyes. “What? Did I say something wrong?”
“Wh-what was her name?” I croak.
“Miss Pearl. Why?”
I swear my sisters’ faces turn a sickly shade of white. I think mine does too. A few beats of silence hover over the room and it feels like no one even dares to take a breath.
At last, Julian holds up his glass and says, “To Miss Pearl.”
I join him in his toast and my sisters follow, albeit reluctantly. Hunter holds up his glass and says, “Miss Pearl is awesome!” Like I said, he hasn’t changed much.
I laugh out loud and shake my head. It’s going to take me a bit to absorb this new revelation. I suppose Dakota and I need to have a long talk tonight.
Julian and I share a secret smile as he whispers again, “To Miss Pearl.”
Then he kisses me again and you know what?
I don’t care if the whole wor
ld is watching.
Other books by Taylor Dean
I Have People
Missing any memories?
Holly Sinclair is happily married to the love of her life, Gabriel. Young and in love, Holly hopes to have their first child soon. Of course, Gabriel wants to wait till Holly’s health is restored, much to Holly’s dismay. She feels perfectly fine. So what if she just woke up from an eight-month coma? So what if some of her memories are missing? She remembers Gabe and that’s all that matters, right? That is, until HE enters her life again . . . she forgot about HIM.
I’m With You
Can three little words irrevocably change your life?
When the doctors inform Chloe Brennan that her pregnancy is “incompatible with life,” her subsequent choices will change her path forever.
She becomes one of the quiet, unsung heroes of this world, incredibly strong, yet somehow wrongly looked upon as damaged. Three people will pierce Chloe’s existence: her husband, a stranger, and a precious baby. One will say goodbye, one will say hello, and one will say both at the same time. I’m With You is a novel about selfless love and the sacredness of life.
For Nick
What would you do for love?
Zachary Drake had love in his life—and tragically lost it. He knows it won’t come his way again. Andie Parker would do anything for the love of her life. Even marry a total stranger. In spite of the unorthodox manner in which Zach and Andie come together, there is no denying that things are unexpectedly good between them, taking them both by surprise. However, when secrets come between them—and trust does not—Andie soon finds herself vowing to never make the same mistake again. But, she’d do it again in a heartbeat and she knows it. She’d marry a hundred strangers if it helped Nick. She’d do anything for Nick . . . anything.
Sierra
Named a Top Five Finalist by the Kindle Book Review for Best Indie Book of 2013 in the Romance Category