“No,” he said, shooting a look over his shoulder. “But maybe they’re out together.”
I hoped so. I didn’t want to think of my friend being alone and caught off guard if some stranger came to the door looking for me. My hands were shaking as I tried to fit my key in the lock.
York took them from me, whispering, “Relax, babe,” as he unlocked the door and ushered me inside.
“Hey, you two,” Rachel said, smiling at us from her post on the couch where she was painting her toenails. “What’s up? Did you have fun last night?”
“Uh, yeah.” York kissed my cheek when I sagged against him with relief. “It was great. You want me to stick around for a bit, Lace? I can text Wes and tell him to come up.”
“No.” I patted his solid chest as I came down from the adrenaline high that had propelled me up three flights of stairs instead of waiting for the elevator. “I’m okay now. I need to talk to Rachel, and you need to see your father.”
“You said you’re working at the studio this afternoon?” he asked, looking as though he’d rather stay than leave as he reached behind him to grip the doorknob. “Then at the club later?”
“Yeah, I have classes at one, three, and five. Then I’ll be heading to the club ‘til close.”
“I’ll pick you up at closing time.”
“You don’t have to do that. You need your sleep.”
“Making sure you’re safe is more important to me than sleep,” he said, lowering his voice when Rachel shot us a curious look. “Don’t argue with me about this. I won’t sleep until I know you’re home safe and sound. Unless Ace plans to stay with Rachel again. Then you can come back to my place.”
“No.” It wasn’t that I didn’t want to spend another night in his arms. I did. More than anything. But I couldn’t afford to get too comfortable in his posh home. If I did, I’d feel like Cinderella at the stroke of midnight when we eventually broke up and I had to return to my own modest digs. “I have an early class in the morning.”
He frowned. “You’re closing at the club and opening at the studio? What the hell? So you’re only going to get a few hours’ sleep?”
I rolled forward on my toes and kissed him. “You’re sweet to worry, but I’m just filling in for a friend tomorrow. Don’t worry. I’ll come home and take a nap before I have to go back to the club. I promise.”
He sighed, looking as though he wanted to argue, but eventually he pulled me into a fierce hug instead. “Just be careful, okay? And text me when you get to the club and the studio. Promise?”
“I promise.”
“Okay, see you later, Rachel.” He waved at her before he gave me one last kiss, and I closed the door behind him.
“Wow, looks like things are getting serious between you two,” Rachel said, wiggling her eyebrows.
“I could say the same about you and Ace,” I said, trying to deflect as I sank down next to her on the couch. “I hear he stayed here again last night.”
“He did,” she said, grinning. “I’m really into him. I’m just worried about scaring him off the way I did Ash, ya know?”
“I wouldn’t worry about that,” I said, making a mental note to talk to York about his friend so I could figure out whether he and Rachel were on the same page in their relationship. “I love my brother and all, but Ace seems a lot more mature when it comes to the whole male-female thing.”
“Oh, speaking of guys,” Rachel said, reaching for a slip of paper on the end table. “One called for you earlier. He didn’t want to leave his name or number, but I took down the number on the call display, just in case you recognized it.”
I looked at the local number, wondering if that meant Jordan was living in my zip code. “What did he say?” I asked, trying not to panic.
“He just wanted to know if you were here. When I said you weren’t, he wanted to know when you’d be back. I said I had no clue but could give you a message for him. He said he’d call back later.”
I didn’t give my number out to random guys, and those who called me always called on my cell, not my landline. But since our number was published and in my name, it would be easy enough to find. That, and my address. Damn it. I should have thought of that sooner, but when we moved in here, Jordan was still in jail and I had no reason to live in fear. What a difference a couple of years made.
I thought of the car I’d spotted downstairs and realized I couldn’t put off telling Rachel about Jordan any longer. She had a right to know that living with me may be putting her in danger. I would hate to lose her as a roommate, but I wouldn’t blame her if she decided to bail on me.
“So, um, if you have some time, I need to talk to you about something.”
She re-capped her nail polish and set it down. “This sounds serious. Is everything okay?”
“Not really,” I admitted, hugging one of Rachel’s favorite floral pillows.
“It’s not about York, is it?” she asked, glancing at the door I’d locked. “You guys seemed so tight when he dropped you off.”
“It’s not about York,” I said, trying to find the words that had come so easily last night when I was telling York my story. “It’s about my past. There’s a lot I haven’t told you.”
“Okay,” she said, turning to face me. “What is it?”
“You know I’ve never really been into relationships,” I said, tracing a pattern on the faux suede couch. “I mean, I’ve had plenty of hook-ups and I’ve dated a few guys for a while, but I’ve never really been interested in getting serious with anyone.”
“Yeah, I’ve wondered about that,” she said, tucking her legs under her. “Did someone really do a number on you, or what?”
“Something like that,” I admitted, knowing what I was about to tell her would shock and terrify her. “I was married before.” I ignored her gasp of surprise, determined to continue before I lost my nerve. “Right out of high school.”
“Wow, I had no idea,” Rachel said, laying her hand on my knee. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It’s not something I’m proud of,” I said, thinking how much shame I still felt regarding the first and only man I’d ever given my heart to. “He was a bad guy. A really bad guy.”
“Did he hurt you?” she whispered, her wide eyes fixed on mine.
“He tried to.” I swallowed my fear and met her gaze. “He tried to kill me, Rach.”
She clapped her hand over her mouth. “Oh my God! What happened? Where is he now? Rotting in jail, I hope.”
I was still emotionally exhausted from telling York the whole story and didn’t think I could do it again, so I simply said, “It’s a long story. Bottom line, he’s out of jail now. And I have reason to believe he might come after me again.”
She glanced at the cordless phone on the coffee table. “Do you think he’s who called you earlier?”
“It might have been. There was also a car I didn’t recognize parked outside of our building when I came in. Maybe I’m just being paranoid, but the windows were tinted and—” The air rushed out of my lungs when she threw herself at me, hugging me tight.
“It’s going to be okay,” she whispered. “You have people who love you and would do anything to protect you, Lace. We’re not going to let him hurt you again. Ever.”
I’d never had a friend like Rachel, one who put my safety above her own. Who thought of me before she thought of herself and the danger this put her in. “Ash offered to let us stay with him for a while, if you want to? I know it might be awkward, given your history with him. But it’s a secure building and…” I tried to read her expression as she contemplated my proposal.
“I don’t think so,” she said, shaking her head. “How would I explain that to Ace?”
She was right. Her current boyfriend probably wouldn’t appreciate being told she was shacking up with her ex, even if there was a legitimate reason. “Then maybe you should think about staying with Ace for a little while?”
“No, it’s too soon for that. Besides, I’m n
ot leaving you all alone here. You’d be a sitting duck if that prick came looking for you.”
“I can defend myself,” I assured her. Rachel knew I carried a gun and could handle myself in close quarters combat. “It’s you I’m worried about. What if Jordan comes when I’m not here?”
“You really think he’d do that?” She rolled her lip between her teeth. “But isn’t there some kind of protective order? Doesn’t he have to stay away from you?”
“He does, but that doesn’t mean he will.” Jordan had never been big on following the rules, and I imagined seven years in prison had made him even more averse to obeying authority. “Coop said he’d try to patrol our area and put the word out to his buddies on the beat, but he can only do so much. He can’t watch our backs twenty-four, seven.”
“That’s why you parked Pearl.” Rachel sighed. “I should have known something was up when Ash lent you his car. He loves that car.”
“He didn’t want me to take the chance of riding her,” I admitted. “I hate that I’m changing my life so much, living in fear of a son of a bitch who’s already taken so much from me, but what choice do I have, right?”
I was stronger than I’d been back then: mentally, physically, and emotionally. But experience had taught me that no one was a match for a madman wielding a gun while threatening the lives of everyone you loved if you didn’t succumb to his demands.
“How did York react when you told him?”
“He’s concerned, obviously. But he never made me feel like it was my fault.” That had been my underlying fear all along, that he would think less of me for being stupid enough to marry a man who would do those things.
“It’s not your fault,” Rachel said, sounding appalled. “God, don’t even think that.”
I was glad I’d told her the truth. Coming clean felt better than I thought it would, especially since the people I’d confided in were offering me support I hadn’t even realized I needed.
“Enough about him,” I said, pressing my fingertips against my temple when I felt the threat of another headache. “I just wanted you to know so you could be more cautious. Now that you know, let’s talk about something else. Like Ace. How’s that going?”
She smiled, but I couldn’t help noticing she didn’t light up the way she used to when we talked about my brother. I hoped, for her sake, that she’d given up on Ash. I’d hate to think she was letting her feelings for him influence her relationship with a guy who really seemed to care about her.
“He’s great. Really,” she said, gripping my hand when I narrowed my eyes. “I should thank York for introducing us. It’s been a long time since a guy has made me a priority in his life. It’s nice.”
Since she was my best friend, I had to ask, “But is he the right guy, Rach?”
“I want him to be.” She closed her eyes, then took a deep breath as she stared straight ahead at the blank TV screen. “I keep trying not to compare Ace to your brother, but I can’t help myself. What the hell is wrong with me? I have a great guy in my life, and I’m wasting time thinking about a man who never gave a shit about me.”
“I don’t know that I’d go that far,” I said, thinking about Ash’s reaction when he learned Rachel was seeing Ace. “I think Ace cared about you as much as he’s cared about anyone. But it just wasn’t enough. You wanted, needed, and deserved more than he could give.”
“Right,” she said, sounding resolute. “And that’s why I need to forget about him and focus on what I have with Ace. Because he really could be everything I’ve ever wanted.”
I thought of the way I felt when I was with York as I sank back against the cushions, still gripping one of the handmade pillows Rachel loved. “Does he turn you on? Does he make you feel like you can never get enough of him?”
She sat back beside me, shoulder to shoulder, her feet stretched out on the coffee table as she wiggled her freshly painted lilac toes. “He’s hot. There’s no question about that. The sex is great.”
“But?” I tipped my head to look at her. “Don’t even tell me there isn’t a but, girl. I know you too well.”
“Ugh.” She groaned, rolling her head back. “What is wrong with me? Why can’t I just be happy with what I have instead of wanting something more?”
“What more do you want?” I asked, nudging her shoulder. “More orgasms? More oral?”
She giggled, blushing. “No. Not more like that. I just want…”
“Tell me.” Since I’d already told her my deep, dark secret, I wanted her to feel free to tell me anything.
“I want him to make me feel the way Ash did when we were together.”
I hadn’t realized it until right that second, but my big brother had really done a number on her. I was going to have to smack him upside the head the next time I saw him.
“Maybe you’ll find someone who will make you feel that way,” I said, sincerely hoping she would. “It could be Ace isn’t supposed to be your forever guy. Maybe he’s just the one who’s supposed to make you believe it’s possible to forget about Ash.”
“Maybe,” she said, reaching for my hand. “Promise you won’t tell Ash I’ve still got a thing for him?”
“Your secret’s safe with me, hon.” Always.
Chapter Eleven
York
“Your brother tells me you’ve got a new girlfriend,” my dad said when Wes stepped outside to take a call. We were dining at my father’s favorite restaurant, a little hole-in-the-wall Italian joint in our old neighborhood with lasagne that reminded him of my mother’s cooking.
“Wes has a big mouth,” I muttered, reaching for my water glass.
“Does that mean you’re not going to tell me about her?” he asked, drawing his bushy gray eyebrows together as he folded his arms over his barreled chest.
“We’re taking it slow,” I said, hoping that would be enough for him to take the hint I didn’t want to talk about it. I’d thought of Lacy every minute since I dropped her off, but I wasn’t ready to talk about my feelings for her. Not even to my old man, who’d always been my sounding board.
“Is that because you’re afraid of getting hurt again?”
I knew he was referring to my relationship with Michelle, which seemed like a blip on the radar screen compared to my feelings for Lacy. “Putting yourself out there is never easy, Dad. But you wouldn’t know that, since you refuse to date.” I felt guilty when a flash of pain crossed his face before he looked away. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”
“It’s okay,” he said, raising a calloused hand. “You have nothing to apologize for. You’re right. I don’t have any right to tell you boys how to live your lives when I don’t have much of a life myself.”
“Do you ever get lonely?” I asked, feeling guilty that I couldn’t spend more time with him. He had a group of friends he played cards and watched sports with, but I wondered if that was enough now that he no longer had work to keep him occupied.
“Sometimes, but when you find the love of your life at eighteen, it’s hard to imagine ever finding another woman to take her place, son.”
My gut twisted when I thought of the kind of love my parents had shared. My father had sat by her bed during the grueling treatments, holding her when she cried out in pain and crying on her shoulder when she finally slipped away. I’d never seen him as broken as he was the day we had to say our final good-byes to her, and I’d always felt we lost a part of him that day too.
“Maybe you could find a different kind of love,” I said, hoping that was possible for him. I didn’t want to see him grow old alone, feeling miserable because the best years of his life were behind him. “It may not compare to what you had with Mom, but that doesn’t mean it couldn’t be good.”
“A widow moved in just down the street from me.” His weathered cheeks turneding a ruddy shade as he cleared his throat. “I met her at a neighborhood potluck a few weeks back. She asked me to a movie.”
“And?”
He shrugged. “I don’t k
now if I should go. I like her. I mean, she seems like a nice lady, but—”
“Dad, I know you loved Mom. We all know that. But she wouldn’t want you to stop living just because she’s gone. You devoted your life to raising us, but we’re all grown up now. It’s time for you to focus on your life.”
“Then you think I should go out with her?” he asked, stroking his white goatee. “I don’t know, York. What the hell do I know about dating these days?”
“I doubt things have changed that much. Women are still women, Dad. They like flowers and candy, dancing and sappy movies.” I chuckled, thinking of Lacy. “They even like it when you open their car doors for them, I think.”
“Okay, I’ll think about it. So I’ve told you what’s going on with me. Now it’s your turn. Tell me about this new lady in your life.”
Since Wes still had his phone to his ear as he paced the sidewalk, I knew it would be a few more minutes before we could order.
“What can I tell you about her?” I grinned, thinking a dating service wouldn’t have been able to find a woman better suited to me. “She’s into kickboxing. She loves mixed martial arts. She works part-time as a bartender.” I laughed when my father’s jaw dropped. “I haven’t told you the best part. She rides a Harley named Pearl. Oh, and she carries a gun.” Not to mention the colorful ink decorating her back… that I wanted to trace with my tongue every time I caught a glimpse of it.
“Shut the hell up.”
I grinned. I knew he’d think Lacy sounded perfect for me, which was why I’d hesitated to tell him about her. I didn’t want him to get carried away. Especially since he didn’t know her story. Nor could I tell him.
“I’m serious,” I said.
I glared at Wes when he came back into the restaurant, both because he’d bailed on us to take a call and because he’d outed me to our old man. I would have told Dad about Lacy eventually. When the time was right. But I would have appreciated being the one to decide that.
Drunk Dial (Hard Core #1) (Hard Core Series) Page 11