Hey Sunshine

by Tia Giacalone

  I flexed my hands around the coffee cup that Fox brought me. I had to be careful how much I admitted I already knew about him, but I don’t think he was fooled.

  “So, you’re from California?” I asked casually.

  The eyebrow. “Mostly. With the Army, you move around a lot. My parents knew they wanted to end up out west, so when my dad retired, we put down roots.”

  “How old were you?” I had him all to myself, and I was going to ask everything I wanted to know.

  He thought for a moment. “High school. My brother Lucas was a little older, ready to start college.”

  A brother? Sensory overload. “Did he go to UCLA too?” As soon as the words were out of my mouth I realized my flub. Fox had never told me he went to UCLA. I’d learned that from Chase – and the internet.

  “No,” he said with a hint of a smile. “Stanford.”

  I laughed. “I think I’ve heard of it. What does he do now?”

  “Personal security.”

  What? Like a bodyguard? I waited for him to elaborate, but when he didn’t, I pressed forward and changed the subject.

  “Are you looking forward to going back? To the Forest Service and firefighting, I mean.” I wasn’t sure what I wanted to hear. The truth, probably. Even if it was that he would be leaving soon.

  Fox’s expression changed, all amusement gone, his eyes softening as he looked at me. “Not today.”

  Before I had a chance to respond, Annabelle ran over with her latest drawing. “Look Mr. Fox! It’s you!”

  I loved my child very much, but her artistic talents were definitely that of a three year old. Like, for example, I wouldn’t ever be letting her illustrate my wedding gown and veil a la Angelina Jolie – crayons and couture do not mix. The portrait of Fox looked like a cross between a large watermelon and an abstract jack-in-the-box, but we praised her anyway.

  “Can I keep this, Annabelle?” Fox asked her.

  “Yes, Mr. Fox,” she beamed.

  “Will you sign your name on it for me?” Fox handed her a crayon and indicated the corner of the page.

  Annabelle screwed up her face in concentration as she “signed” her name on her drawing. She’d mastered the letter A fairly well but the rest was open to interpretation. Poor baby, I’d saddled her with a long and romantic name for a preschooler.

  After she scooted back to her seat at the counter, Fox cleared his throat, tapping his fingers on the tabletop. The intimate spell from earlier was broken with Annabelle’s art show, and in a way I was glad. I didn’t want to think about what would happen when Fox finally had to leave Brancher, and it seemed like he didn’t either.

  And then there was the Chase situation. He was due back the next day, and we had an Annabelle-free date scheduled, but I wasn’t really looking forward to it. Honestly, I felt like my disinterest had less to do with Fox and more to do with my growing uncertainty about Chase and the future of our relationship, if there was one.

  A tiny freckle of doubt crept into my brain, because I knew I had a very real reason to feel uncertain in the form of a very big crush, and I resolved right then and there to have a serious conversation with Chase when I saw him. Chase had something going on that he wasn’t sharing with me, and if we couldn’t achieve that level of trust, I needed to prioritize for myself and Annabelle. It was time we were honest with each other.

  * * *

  I prepared for my date with a huge amount of trepidation. I hadn’t seen Chase in a few days and my mind was overwhelmed by Fox, but I knew that wasn’t especially fair. I owed Chase the respect of having a clear head when we spoke, but it seemed impossible at this point.

  Annabelle had been a bit listless and whiny all day, so on top of everything I felt apprehensive to leave her. She picked at her dinner and was lying on the couch watching cartoons when my parents arrived to babysit.

  When Annabelle didn’t jump up to greet them, my dad expressed his concern. “Is she feeling okay, Avery?”

  “Maybe I should cancel,” I said nervously. It would be legitimate at this point, and not cowardly avoidance like I’d considered yesterday.

  “Nonsense,” my mother said dismissively. “She’ll be fine. You took her temperature, right?”

  I nodded. “Three times. No fever. She’s just crabby.”

  “We’ll be fine, sweetheart. Don’t worry.”

  The original plan was a quiet dinner with Chase at our usual restaurant in Odessa, but the day before he’d changed it to a group outing at Lucky’s, the local bar. At first I was relieved because it meant a less intimate evening, but then I reconsidered when I realized that I’d likely have no chance to speak with him privately. And we needed to have that solo conversation, like, yesterday.

  After I kissed Annabelle goodbye and she grumpily returned my embrace, I headed out. Chase hadn’t mentioned who would be joining us, but I had an idea – his football slash camping buddies Derek and Kyle and their girlfriends. Upon walking through the door at Lucky’s, I found out I was right about our companions for the evening except for one unexpected addition: Fox.

  I stopped in my tracks, my cheeks reddening as I took in the group assembled by the pool table. Why hadn’t I assumed Fox would join us? He and Chase were friends, and he didn’t know many people in town. Chase was a sociable guy with “the more the merrier” attitude in regard to just about anything.

  Unless it came to outings with Annabelle or trying to get into my pants, I amended. Then three was a crowd for sure.

  Fox was standing near the door, staring out the window with a strange, intense look on his face, so he spotted me first when I entered the bar and he raised his beer in greeting as I crossed the small dance floor. Was he waiting for me? Of course not, I chided myself. He’s just observant.

  More observant than Chase, who was too busy talking to the waitress, a girl named Janie we’d gone to high school with. It was all very interesting – I was looking at Chase, who was looking at Janie, who was looking at Fox, who was looking at me. Derek and Kyle were the only ones actually playing pool, with their girlfriends sitting at a bar top table nearby nursing sad-looking margaritas.

  I didn’t get out to Lucky’s much, but it was always funny to me that people expected anything other than greasy food and domestic beer. You ordered a mixed drink here and rolled the dice on the results.

  “Hi,” I said, coming up next to where Chase was leaning against the pool table.

  “Hey babe!” he said, quickly turning to face me. Janie rolled her eyes and immediately scanned the vicinity again for Fox. I followed her gaze as she located him across the pool table, observing Derek and Kyle in their game. I thought I saw Fox’s eyes narrow infinitesimally when Chase grabbed my hand and pulled me toward him, but then my view was blocked as Chase leaned in to kiss me.

  I returned his kiss with a neutral amount of feeling, noticing a sharp tequila taste on his lips that told me he’d been at the bar for at least a couple shots.

  “Mmmm,” Chase said as we broke apart. “That’s what I’m talking about. Janie, get Avery a beer, will ya?” he asked before she walked away, no doubt in pursuit of Fox. He pulled me a little closer. “You gotta catch up, babe.”

  Chase rambled on, but I wasn’t paying attention. I had no intention of getting drunk tonight, especially since I wasn’t sure what was going on with Annabelle, but I could have a beer or two. I probably needed at least one so I could have the conversation I needed to have with Chase. And maybe some hot wings, for courage.

  “Thanks,” I said, accepting the bottle that Janie offered a few minutes later. I glanced around quickly, looking for Fox, but he was nowhere in sight. Janie’s cleavage, however, was on full display.

  “This is great, babe, isn’t it?” Chase leaned back onto the railing that separated the dance floor from the pool tables. “Just a fun night out with all our friends.”

  I wanted to point out that, aside from Fox, these were actually Chase’s friends, not mine. I didn’t have anything against Derek or K
yle, but their girlfriends had made no attempt to talk to me when I’d arrived and I wasn’t especially disappointed. I’d asked Heather if she wanted to stop by, but she insisted that she was still trying to get organized after her trip to Dallas.

  The fact that my best friend would rather scrub cake pans and sort through bridal contacts than hang out with Chase wasn’t lost on me. It was time, I thought. We’d given this a shot and it just wasn’t meant to be. It needed to end before I considered starting anything else.

  A loud crack startled me briefly, and I grabbed Chase’s arm even as I registered that it was just someone dropping a pool cue onto the hardwood floor. If I was surprised, Chase was downright spooked as he wrenched his arm from mine and spun around, his chest heaving as he looked for the source of the noise.

  Concerned, I touched his shoulder. “It was just a pool cue,” I said softly, unsure of his next move.

  This is what happened every time I was ready to throw in the towel with Chase. He would be moody and rude for days until I lost my patience, then something would put a terrified look into his eye that would remind me that this new Chase, this new attitude, was bigger than us. But he refused to acknowledge it.

  Our history wasn’t strong enough to build a solid romantic relationship as adults, of this I was sure. We wanted different things and had different ideas about where our futures led. He wouldn’t let me in, and I needed that level of commitment to move forward. Superficial wasn’t working for me, and it certainly wasn’t working for Chase. But he needed a friend and, if possible, I wanted to be that for him.

  The panicked look on his face faded after a few seconds, and Chase and I joined the group by the pool tables, catching the tail end of the game. The boys were laughing and joking around as we walked up.

  “I play winner,” Chase announced, slamming back the shot that Janie brought him. I hoped he hadn’t driven here, or at least wasn’t expecting to drive home.

  “I’ll beat you next, then,” Derek grinned.

  “Hey, I’m still in this!” Kyle protested.

  We all looked at the table. Derek had one more ball to put away before he could try for the eight ball. Kyle had five.

  Derek shook his head and patted Kyle on the shoulder. “Not really, buddy.”

  “He has other talents,” one of the girlfriends – I’m assuming Kyle’s – smirked and everyone laughed. Tonight was looking up, actually, aside from Chase’s ever-changing mood. Derek and Kyle kept everyone chuckling, and I think the girlfriends were starting to thaw. Maybe being friends with Chase would actually be possible, if he could acknowledge I was right about our lack of compatibility.

  I was trying to casually glance around for Fox when I saw him seated at the bar, his face in profile from where I was standing. A pretty redhead sat next to him, and from the look on her face, she wasn’t getting anywhere trying to engage him in conversation. Janie walked by and practically shoved her boobs in his face, which the redhead quite obviously did not like. Fox remained unruffled through it all. I smiled a little to myself, secretly pleased.

  A slow Keith Urban song came on and Chase pulled me onto the dance floor. I tried to relax in his embrace, but everything just seemed off. His hands roamed up and down my back to my hips, dipping dangerously close to the waistband of my jeans without actually delving inside. His breath was hot in my ear, and I squirmed a bit.

  I tried to disengage a little, pulling back so I could see his face. Maybe I should just talk to him now and get it over with. It wasn’t ideal, but this was as alone as we were likely to be all night.

  “Chase, I need to talk to you,” I started, summoning up all my resolve.

  He tried to dip his face into the crook of my neck. “Sure babe, I’m all ears,” he mumbled, nuzzling my jaw.

  More like all hands, I thought. But whatever. Just say what you have to say and get on with it, Avery.

  “We need to have an honest conversation about what we want in life,” I began. “I don’t think we–”

  “Sorry to interrupt.” Kyle’s girlfriend tapped me on the shoulder. “Your phone has been buzzing for the last couple minutes, I was afraid it was something urgent,” she said apologetically, handing me my clutch purse that I’d left on their table.

  I realized then that my phone wasn’t in my back pocket as I’d thought. “Thank you!” I told her gratefully. I yanked open the purse and checked my missed calls. Three from my dad’s cell phone. My heart leapt into my throat. It was almost ten p.m., there’s no way he would call unless something had happened.

  I shoved my purse into Chase’s arms and left him on the dance floor so I could dart outside and call my house. My father picked up on the second ring.

  “Daddy? What’s wrong? Is Annabelle okay?” I asked frantically.

  “Calm down, Avery,” he said gently. “Annabelle is doing okay, but she spiked a pretty high fever half an hour ago and we’ve been trying to get it down. Your mother is giving her a cool bath right now.”

  “A fever?” My voice rose in a panic. “How high?”

  “About 103, sweetheart,” my dad answered. “We called the nurses’ hotline and they said to give her some medicine and run her a bath. It’s dropped a little but she’s still pretty uncomfortable.”

  “I’m coming home right now.” I felt around in my pockets for my keys and then realized they were inside in my purse.

  “I’m sorry to cut your night short, but I knew you’d want to know.” He cleared his throat. “You’re okay to drive?”

  “Yes, Daddy.” I had a half-full beer to prove it. “I’ll be right there.” I disconnected the call and ran back inside.

  “Annabelle is sick,” I said breathlessly to Chase. “I have to go.”

  “Okay,” he nodded. His eyes looked a little unfocused and I wasn’t sure he completely understood what I’d just told him, but at least he didn’t argue because my leaving immediately was nonnegotiable.

  I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and suddenly Fox was there. “I’m coming with you,” he said, grabbing the keys from my hand.

  If Chase thought that was strange, he didn’t comment. Fox guided me quickly out of the bar and then we were in my car headed home. I didn’t question his sobriety; I knew Fox would never risk it.

  The engine was still running when I jumped out of the car in my driveway and dashed inside. My parents were sitting on the couch with a sleeping Annabelle between them.

  “Shh,” my mother said as I came in. “She’s finally asleep.”

  I sank down onto my knees next to the couch. Gently, I smoothed a wisp of hair off her forehead. Her face seemed fairly cool to the touch but a hint of rosiness remained in her cheeks.

  “How’s the fever?” I asked softly.

  “Down to 101,” my dad replied. “It broke after the bath.”

  I sighed with relief. “Thank you both. I’m so sorry, I would never have left if I'd known she was actually sick.”

  I saw my dad glance behind me as Fox slid silently into the room. They nodded to each other casually, as though no one thought it odd that I’d gone out on a date with Chase and come home with Fox instead.

  “I think it’s just a little virus,” my mom said. “I’m sure she’ll be fine in a day or two.”

  I slumped against the front of the couch. Seeing your child feeling poorly had to rank right up there with the worst things ever. On top of that, I felt horrible for leaving her in the first place. What kind of mother was I that I didn’t even know she was sick?

  “It’s not your fault, Avery,” my mom continued, reading my thoughts. “She’s in preschool, they pick up little bugs all the time.” She patted my hand and rose to her feet. “I think you’ve got this under control. Your father and I will head home. We’ll call in the morning to see how she’s feeling.”

  My dad gestured to the sleeping Annabelle. “Do you want me to move her into her room?”

  I shook my head. “No thanks, Daddy. I’ll do it later. I’m going to stay up for a w
hile and make sure her fever doesn’t rise again.”

  “I’ll make some coffee,” Fox said quietly. I’d almost forgotten that he was there, but I was glad he hadn’t left.

  My father nodded in approval. “Okay, chickie. I wrote down what time we gave her the medicine. It’s on the pad in the kitchen.” He kissed the top of Annabelle’s head and stood.

  I stayed where I was and let Fox close the door after my parents. The level of familiarity we’d adopted this evening was exciting and alarming at the same time. I wished it didn’t have to come at Annabelle’s expense, trying to hold back frustrated tears as I watched my little girl sleep.

  Fox came back into the room and offered me a mug. “Coffee,” he murmured. He slowly lowered himself to the floor and we sat silently for a minute, nursing the scalding liquid.

  “Thank you,” I said finally. “You didn’t have to leave with me.”

  He took another sip. “I care about Annabelle.” Fox turned his gaze on me, and I felt warmth rush through my veins that had nothing to do with the coffee. “And about you.”

  His eyes were burning softly in the low lighting, and I started to lean forward almost involuntarily. My pulse jumped when I caught his scent, the cedarwood and soap smell mixed with a faint coffee undertone. The dark button-down shirt he wore contrasted deliciously with his tanned skin, and his thick blond hair fell forward carelessly, sweeping down over his forehead. Before I could stop myself, I reached out to brush it away from his face. I felt him tense when my hand touched his cheekbone and traveled down, lightly making contact with his stubbled jaw. I held my breath as he turned his face so my fingertips slid across his full lips.

  Annabelle stirred and it startled me so much that I jerked my hand away immediately. I couldn’t look at Fox again as I busied myself adjusting her light blanket and checking her temperature with the ear thermometer. It was holding fast at 100, and I allowed myself a moment of relief.

  “Better?” Fox asked softly. He was still against the couch but he’d leaned back into his original position after I’d jumped away.

  “Yeah, thank God,” I whispered. I waited a beat. “You don’t have to stay. I mean, you can go back to the bar if you want. I can call you a cab or you can take my car… we’re okay.”