Stronger With Her

by JA Hensley

  “I had finished out my final exams and my parents were talking with me about going to college. They said they wanted me to have a normal life. I think they were trying to help me escape the chaos that had taken over our house. Erin’s behavior had gotten bad again and she was always screaming at people who weren’t there or thinking someone was trying to kill me. I wasn’t really interested in getting another degree, but college sounded like it might be fun to try, even if I didn’t go to class. The night of Erin’s death I had decided to go ahead and apply to State. My big sister blew her head off in front of me and my parents and my entire world crumbled. I can remember the sound of the gun and my mother’s screams like it was yesterday.” The tears are rolling down my cheeks, but I don’t try to wipe them away. James is rubbing my leg reassuringly. It feels good to tell him about this, even though it’s painful to relive it.

  “Unfortunately,” he says gruffly, “my story isn’t any happier.” I look down at him from the chair and he has tears on his face as well. I move to sit with him on the floor, wanting to offer him comfort like he has done for me.

  “I met Danielle in college. She was full of life, spontaneous, and a free spirit. We were total opposites, which is probably what attracted me to her in the first place. It was the end of my junior year and I was taking some pretty intense engineering courses, the kind that have labs and are six to seven credit hours each. It was hard to find time to spend together because I was always working on some project. She was a year behind me and an art major so her classes were on a much different schedule.

  “So, one night after a grueling exam, I asked her to come over to my dorm and watch a movie. I just wanted to chill out and not have to think. It was the end of the semester and I was going to be doing an internship over the summer so we weren’t going to see each other until fall. Well, one thing led to another and we didn’t watch much of the movie.” He looks at me guiltily and I smile trying to relieve him of that emotion. It was a long time ago and there’s no reason for me to be jealous of his past.

  “That summer we kept in touch through social media, but we were in different states so we didn’t get to actually see each other. When she called me during work hours, I figured she had just gotten up from a nap and was confused as to what time it actually was. I let it go to voicemail because I was in the middle of a meeting. When I finally checked the voicemail, I heard her crying so I called back immediately. That’s when she blew my world up.”

  He pauses and looks at me. My thoughts are running wild with what he’s going to say next, and I can tell he’s gathering courage or something to get the next part out. I reach for his hand and hold it, hoping I’m giving him enough strength to continue.

  “She told me she was pregnant with my child, that I was going to be a father. At first I didn’t believe her, which makes me feel like shit now. We’d only slept together a couple of times and we’d always been careful. I accused her of cheating on me, of lying to me. I was a colossal dick to her and she didn’t do anything wrong. Of course she hung up on me, telling me to fuck off, and I was relieved. There was no way I was ready to be a dad.

  “When we got back to school in August she sought me out. She told me that she didn’t expect me to change my mind, but she wasn’t a whore and the baby was definitely mine. The look in her eyes convinced me she was telling the truth. From that moment on, I promised her I would be by her side. I went to all her doctor appointments, I rubbed her feet and bought the foods she was craving. I was all in and on February twenty-eighth we had our precious baby girl, Madison.”

  A sob breaks through and I can’t stand seeing this big, tough man like this. I scoot over and put my arms around his neck. I run my hand up and down his back as far as I can reach and wait for him to calm down. I know that this story is going to have a tragic ending just by the way he’s crying. It makes me want to beat the shit out of his brother for causing us to have this conversation before James was ready.

  “I’m sorry, I can get through this,” he says wiping his eyes. I put my hands on his cheeks and lift his head to mine. Before I think about it at all, I press my lips to his gently, holding his face steady. When I break the kiss, I lean my forehead against his.

  “Take your time,” I whisper. James takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly before he continues.

  “Madison was beautiful. She had dark hair and brown eyes. She was the sweetest baby ever. My mother was smitten from the beginning, even though she was upset that I had committed an offense against chastity by having sex before marriage. Danielle and the baby moved in with me until the semester was over and then we got an apartment. I had asked her to marry me over Christmas and she was planning our wedding for that summer.

  “The Saturday after graduation my brothers were helping me move into the new place. Danielle and I had a fight about me wanting to bring my couch to the apartment. How stupid is that? It was an ugly, stained, ratty piece of shit but it caused an argument that led to her storming out. She said she was going to go pick Madison up from her mother’s house. The boys and I only had a few more things to pack when I got the call.”

  James stops abruptly, moving away from me and covering his face with his hands. I try to be patient, but it’s killing me to see him like this.

  “It’s okay,” I say quietly. “I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere. You can tell me anything, I promise.”

  He moves his hands away and the anguish I see in his eyes nearly takes my breath away.

  “The call was from a police officer. There had been an accident and I needed to get to the hospital immediately. John drove me and when I got there, the nurse put me in a private waiting room. I paced that floor until I thought I’d go insane. The room wasn’t big enough and I wanted to destroy everything in it just to get rid of my frustration of not knowing what was going on. After more than an hour, a doctor came in. He told me that the accident was severe and that Danielle and Madison both had died from their injuries. I found out later that they were killed by a 20-year old kid who had been drinking at a party and was over three times the legal limit. He walked away from it all and my life was utterly and completely destroyed.” I take a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to calm down.

  “So, when Jacob was being a total prick, he left out the biggest part. I haven’t dated anyone since they died. In fact, I never thought I would find someone who would make me feel anything ever again. Then you come strolling out on that stage in your tiny top and platform heels and turn my world upside down.”

  “I knew you were different the moment I laid eyes on you,” I say softly.

  “What does that mean?”

  “Your eyes were kind and it was as if you were hoping I would stop doing what I was doing. Even with all that fur on your face, it was obvious to me you weren’t happy that I was taking my clothes off. I even told Trevor you were different, I just knew it.”

  “I thought the same thing about you. Not that you weren’t happy, quite the opposite. You were different from everyone else because you looked like you were enjoying yourself and I just can’t understand why. Will you explain it to me? Tell me why you do it?”

  I sigh and nod. There’s no going back now.

  I’ve been waiting to know the answer to this question and I’m sure she’s been hoping I wouldn’t ask again. She smiles shyly before answering.

  “Have you ever just wanted to try something and see if you could do it? I’m a fairly reserved person, but I needed to try and do something different. I figured if I could conquer my fears enough to dance naked in front of strangers, then I could accomplish anything I set my mind to.”

  “You just wanted to see if you could do it? Why The Sprocket then? There are much nicer places in the city.” I’m not convinced that this is the whole truth.

  “I wanted to go somewhere people wouldn’t recognize me. I needed to be completely anonymous. The Sprocket seemed to be a fairly decent place that’s far enough away from where I live and work. Ther
e are bouncers and the owners take care of the employees,” she says in a rush.

  I lean back and put a little distance between us. I don’t say anything, I just stare at her. She starts to fidget the longer I stay quiet. I try to maintain eye contact but she seems determined to look anywhere but at me.

  “Stephanie, I’m not judging you, I swear. I just want to understand why you feel like you need to take your clothes off for money,” I say as gently as I can.

  She takes a deep breath and meets my gaze.

  “When I first did it, I really did want to see if I could. Do you know what it’s like to feel like you don’t exist? I’ve spent my whole life being invisible. Erin always needed more attention, and I was the quiet one. My parents set me up with a computer and I taught myself everything. I was brilliant and self-sufficient, never making any waves. When I went off to college I was in a major that was mostly men, and I learned early on to keep my head down and my mouth shut or I’d have to deal with a shitload of harassment.”

  The thought of those guys bothering her makes my blood boil. I rein it in as much as possible and hope she continues talking.

  “I’m okay, you know,” she says smiling at me.

  “I know.”

  “Then why do you look like you’re ready to rip somebody’s head off?”

  “Sorry, natural reaction. You were saying?”

  “I’m no stranger to the type of guy your brother is. I’ve dealt with assholes like him my entire adult life. It’s one of the reasons why I dress the way I do when I’m working. I’ve come to relish being invisible when I can’t completely control my environment. After college, I realized that I wanted to be seen but only on my terms. I watched some pole dancing videos online and thought it looked like fun. I took a couple classes and the instructor told me I was a natural. She suggested that I consider trying it out in public. I was working for Soklov when I finally got the guts to do it.

  “I had to come up with a good enough disguise that nobody would ever know it was me. My boss was a crazy bitch and hated me from day one and I knew if she found out about my side gig she’d have me fired. I had some of my drag queen friends help me with the makeup and wig. Then I created the Vixen personality and the rest is history.”

  “How often do you dance? My buddies told me that nobody knows when Vixen will be there.”

  “I only go when I feel like it. I text Trevor, the bouncer you met, and he lets the owners know. They’re very kind and understand why I do it. The fact that they make a lot of money on those nights doesn’t hurt either.” She smiles at me and shrugs.

  “So, you choose when you dance, and you only do it so you can be “seen,” I say making quote marks with my fingers. “That still doesn’t explain everything. I think you’re holding out on me. What do you do with the money?”

  Stephanie looks down at her hands which she has clasped in her lap. “I don’t think you’ll believe me,” she says quietly.

  “Try me.” I move closer and pull her against me, kissing her gently on her temple. She settles into my arms. It feels so natural to hold her like this.

  “After the first couple nights I danced, one of the girls committed suicide. Apparently her boyfriend left her when she told him that she was pregnant. She told one of the other women that she couldn’t afford the medical bills or the expenses. It was heartbreaking.”

  I squeeze her tighter and rub one hand down her back.

  “I can’t imagine how that made you feel.”

  “It was horrible. If I had known, I would have helped her. So, I decided that I would use my tips to help them. Trevor knows when someone is having trouble and he makes sure they get what they need. Usually, he gets them a gift card to the store or something and he’s the only one who knows it’s my money. Most of the girls don’t like me so I stay out of their way.”

  “Why don’t they like you?”

  “I think it’s because I only perform when I want and I’m popular. I don’t leave the stage and they count on lap dances and the VIP rooms to make their money. I’ve come to accept it.”

  “But you don’t like it, do you?”

  “I’ve always wanted people to like me, but I’m used to keeping to myself. It’s okay.”

  I tilt her chin up and look into her beautiful green eyes. “You are amazing,” I whisper as I lean down and press a light kiss on her lips. She sighs against my mouth and I deepen our connection. Stephanie turns and climbs up on my lap, straddling my legs and putting her arms around my neck. I move one hand into her hair and the other one down to her ass. This is what I’ve been waiting for. We continue making out like teenagers for a few minutes until she pulls back. I resist letting her go, but she puts her hands on my chest, effectively keeping us arms length apart.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask trying to calm my dick down. I just want to bury myself in her and stay there forever.

  I have to slow things down or we’re going to end up right where I don’t want us, making it all about sex.

  “I want you to know that I don’t take men to my bed often. In fact, I’ve only slept with two guys other than you. I’m picky about who I allow myself to be with and I tend to fall hard. When I thought you were married and cheating on your wife with me, I was devastated. That kind of betrayal is the one thing I won’t tolerate from anyone, but especially someone I’m involved with.”

  “But,” James interrupts. I put my fingers on his lips to stop him.

  “I knew the moment I saw you at The Sprocket that you had the potential to hold a power over me that no man ever has. Of course, I didn’t realize the man I was working for was the same as the one in the club, but I felt the same overwhelming connection. I’ve fought it for a month, telling myself that it was stupid and that you were just being kind while I was working for you. Jacob shook me, but you’ve proven that you’re the man I’ve always thought you were.”

  “What are you saying? I know what I hope it is,” he says running is finger tips down my arm causing goose bumps to appear.

  “What do you hope it is?” I don’t want to scare him away, but I want him to know how I feel.

  “I hope that you’re about to tell me that you feel something for me and you don’t want to let me go. I want you in my life. You’ve invaded my brain, taken up permanent residence in my thoughts, and I don’t want anything more than for you to be there and in my arms.” I drop my hands and allow him to pull me against his chest.

  “I want all of that too,” I say into his shirt. I can feel tears building and I’m trying not to let them fall.

  James kisses the top of my head as I take a shuddering breath to get rid of the tears. I feel his hand on my face, his thumb running across my lips. I tilt back and look up at him. His eyes are glassy too, which makes me lose it. He wipes the wetness from my cheek and leans down to kiss me.

  “Let’s go to bed,” I whisper just before his lips touch mine. I hear a groan in his chest and before I can register what’s happening, I’m being lifted into his arms and he’s standing. James carries me to my bed and places me gently in the middle. I reach down to pull my shirt up, but he stops me by shaking his head.

  “I want to do that. I’m going to take my time and savor every moment of this. Please allow me to show you what you mean to me.” There’s no way I’m going to argue with that so I drop my hands and lay perfectly still, keeping my eyes on him as he walks to the end of the bed. He licks his lips as he runs his eyes up and down my body. I start to feel a little self-conscious and move my hands.

  “Don’t get shy on me. I’ve seen you shake those tits for hundreds of men,” he smiles salaciously.

  “That’s different. I don’t give a shit about them,” I say quietly.

  “You give a shit about me?”

  “Like you don’t know that,” I roll my eyes and grin. I know he’s helping me relax and it’s working.

  “I still like hearing it,” he says as he picks up my left foot and begins to massage the arch. It feels so good I don
’t stop the groan that comes from my throat. I close my eyes and allow him to do what he wants as long as he keeps doing things like that.

  I feel him move his hands all over my foot and it’s amazing. Then my big toe is warm and I realize that he’s got it in his mouth and he’s sucking on it. Nobody has done that to me before and it’s like a direct line to my core. I open my eyes and sit up not believing that he’s actually doing that. I’m shocked and unbelievably turned on watching this man suck and lick my toes. Who knew that would feel so good? It takes less than a minute to have me panting and hoping that he will move his mouth to the place I really need it.

  “What’s wrong, little one?” he asks after letting my toe go with a pop. He’s got a smug grin on his face.

  My hands move on their own to my waistband, trying to pull the clingy fabric away and off my hips.

  “Stephanie, stop,” James says in such a tone that I freeze and look at him. “I want to do that,” he whispers as he reaches up and pulls my pants to the apex of my thighs, just above my sex.

  “No panties, really?” he groans and licks his lips. That’s the last thing I hear as my pants are torn down my legs and tossed across the room. James dives onto the bed and buries his head between my thighs, licking my pussy, causing my hips to buck and my back to arch.

  He grabs my ass and holds me against his mouth, sucking on my clit and flicking it with his tongue. It doesn’t take long for me to scream his name as my orgasm hits me hard. James continues to slowly and lightly lick me, making the climax last twice as long. When it finally subsides, he lowers me back to the bed and continues his exploration of my inner thighs and stomach. I’m still trying to catch my breath when he goes back and starts eating me again.

  “I can’t do it again,” I moan while trying to pull his head away by his hair.

  “You can and you will. I won’t stop until you come again, and then I’m going to use my dick to set you off one last time,” he says without moving away from my lower lips. True to his word, James continues to lick my clitoris and labia as I squirm underneath him. When he adds two fingers and presses them inside me, I detonate around him, screaming his name and thrashing around on the bed. I feel wetness on my ass and I’m afraid I’ve pissed myself.