by Gina Azzi
Austin snickers and shakes his head. He takes a long swig of his beer and smacks his lips, glancing at me again. “It’s more intense now. I’ve had two women sneak into my hotel rooms before.”
My mouth drops open. “No way! That’s, that’s insane.”
“Tell me about it. At first, back in college, it was fun, you know? Hell, it was an ego boost like no other. The attention, the beautiful women, and the things they just…offered up…made me feel like I was on top of the world.”
I take a pull of my beer, hoping it washes away the sourness that turns my stomach at Austin’s words.
“But too many nights being stupid catch up with you, you know?”
I frown, my eyes latching onto his. I recall his expression when we were at the bar in Martha’s Vineyard and I know there’s more to his story than he’s sharing. “What happened?”
He winces, his face stricken for a moment. He shakes his head and some of the panic in his eyes clears. “It was a long time ago. It’s just, now, I don’t play those games. I date, casually. I see women in a way that’s mutually beneficial. But I’m straight up right from the start. And I don’t do this.” He gestures between us.
“Friendship?” I deadpan.
Austin guffaws. “I don’t bring women around. Not to team events or family events,” he clarifies, peering at me. “But it’s different with you, Sunshine.”
“Because we’re friends.”
“Because being with you is fun. Easy.”
I nod, knowing he means the words as a compliment. And yet, they feel a bit like a smack to the soul. Because I am so firmly in Austin’s friend zone—where you should be—and parts of me wish I could be more than that.
Claire’s warning buzzes around my mind and I clear it away by taking another pull of my beer.
“Here you guys are.” Noah spots us, walking over to where we’re sitting behind a tree. “Come on, grab a plate. Scott went all out.”
“Nice,” Austin says, standing. He extends a hand and I take it, letting him pull me to my feet.
As I follow him and Noah to the massive table, laid out with an impressive spread, I remind myself that this isn’t my life. I’m not Indy or Claire. I’m not dating a Hawks player. I’m here strictly in a friend capacity. I’m here to help Austin fight off the attentions and affections of women a million times more glamorous than I’ll ever be.
Noah passes me a plate and I thank him, eyeing the trays of pulled pork, ribs, and brisket. There’s mashed potatoes and yams, veggie burgers, and pasta salad. Everything looks amazing. My mouth waters but my stomach twists, tying itself into knots that only tighten when Austin places his fingers in the small of my back and nudges me forward.
Maybe Claire was right. Maybe we are playing with fire. Maybe I am going to end up hurt, or worse, hurt Austin, when he realizes that I’m incapable of having the same friendship from over a decade ago.
Panda jostles me from the other side when I reach to add salad to my plate.
“Here,” he says, lifting a heaping spoonful and plopping it down on my plate, next to the veggie burger.
“Thanks,” I say, gratefully.
“Hey, you guys need to come to Taps after this. The team’s going for a round or two and we convinced James to come,” Panda continues, glancing at Austin over the top of my head.
“We’ll see,” Austin says noncommittally.
Panda lowers his voice and leans closer to me. “Convince him to come, Chloe. James rarely comes out with us. Besides, you’ll have fun. I promise.”
I arch an eyebrow and glance up at him. His smile is all charm and playfulness. “You remind me of Drew.”
Panda frowns. “Who’s Drew?”
“My brother,” I admit, drawing more similarities between them. Fun, engaging, flirtatious, but loyal.
Panda chuckles and tosses me a wink. I’m starting to think it’s his signature thing. “Get Cap to come out, okay?”
“I’ll do my best,” I agree, liking that Austin’s teammates like hanging with me too.
Panda squeezes just above my elbow before moving to the other side of the table. I begin to move forward but Austin’s hand on my back applies more pressure and I stop, turning toward him.
His eyes are narrowed, his jaw clenched. “What’d he say?”
“Panda?” I ask, confused by his reaction.
Austin nods.
I shrug. “That we should head to Taps after this. It’ll be fun.”
“That’s it?” he asks as if he doesn’t believe me.
“And that James rarely joins so we really should go.”
Austin nods once, glancing over his shoulder. I look up and spot another guy, perched on the armrest of a chair, a forkful of pasta salad making its way to his mouth. Two kids run up to his side, tugging on his arm. He smiles at them but a sadness sweeps his expression.
“Is that James?” I ask softly.
Austin nods. “He lost his wife a little over a year ago.”
Something twists in my chest, watching this man I don’t even know interact with his kids. It turns even deeper when I witness the anguish in Austin’s expression, as if he feels everything his teammate is experiencing.
“Would you mind going to Taps?” Austin asks, turning back toward me.
“I’d love to go.” I tell him the truth.
His fingers brush down my back again. “Okay. Then we’ll go.”
“Okay,” I agree, snagging a brownie off the table. Some of the knots untwist in my stomach and I take a big bite, letting the chocolate, fudgey goodness center me once more.
Taps is loud and lively, welcoming and warm. The moment I enter, I understand why the Hawks like it so much. It’s laid-back, friendly, and super casual.
“What’s good, Pete?” Panda lifts a hand in greeting to the bartender.
“How’s it going, guys? You’re not going to believe this but the backroom is rented tonight.” Pete points to the back and Panda’s mouth drops open. “A bachelorette party,” Pete adds and Panda’s expression instantly shifts. A smile worms its way across his face.
I snort and hit him in the chest with the back of my hand. “You’re so obvious.”
He grins and glances down at me. “So are you, Ms. Crawford.” He steps to the bar and looks at me before turning back to Pete. Except Pete has disappeared to the end of the bar and a different bartender, a petite brunette, stands in his place. “Line ‘em up.” Panda bangs a hand on top of the bar, grinning at the bartender. “Patron. You new?”
The gorgeous brunette laughs lightly and shakes her head. “I’m just filling in for Selina tonight. I’m Bella.”
“Beautiful,” Panda says.
Bella rolls her eyes. I snort and glance up at Austin, who’s hovering behind me. “Is he telling her the meaning of her name or commenting on her looks?”
Austin shakes his head and smacks Panda on the back of his. “Jackass,” he mutters. “You’re not Torsten.”
Panda shakes him off. “I miss Big Daddy.”
East snorts and rests his elbows on the bar next to Panda. “We all do. I’ll take a club soda with lemon please.”
Bella nods and fixes Easton a drink before lining up a row of shots.
“You don’t have to take one,” Austin murmurs in my ear.
I shoot him an incredulous look over my shoulder and swipe up a shooter. “What if I want to?”
A slow grin spreads across his lips. “Then have at it.”
I pass him a shot. Next to me, Panda lets out a cheer and Claire giggles. We all raise our glasses and clink them together. But Austin’s eyes hold mine as I toss back the tequila, wincing as the strong alcohol hits my taste buds.
It’s been a long time since I was out in a rowdy bar with friends, with people who make me feel welcomed and accepted, drinking tequila. I bite into the lime wedge Austin holds out for me and smack my lips together. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t enjoying this.
Austin shuffles closer, his body framing mine
as I turn back toward the bar. Bella is leaning over the bar to hear whatever James is saying. When she leans back, she laughs and James smiles and for the first time today, he looks at ease. Not wanting to interrupt their exchange, I flag down Pete and order another round of shots.
“I like you.” Panda jostles my elbow and passes Austin and me shooters.
Austin mumbles something under his breath but I’m too busy laughing at Panda’s antics. He’s like a little puppy, playful and amusing and fun to be around. The more I watch him engage with the crowd, the more I miss my brother. I’m glad I’ll see Drew next month at Sara’s wedding.
After I take another shot, I tell Austin I’m heading to the bathroom.
“Give me a second, I’ll walk you,” he says as Easton asks him a question.
“I’ll be fine,” I laugh. “I’ll be back in a minute.”
A line forms between Austin’s eyebrows but he nods and turns back to Easton. I make my way through the crowd, noting it’s a lot busier now than it was when we walked in. The music is louder with groups of friends singing along to lyrics and exchanging stories in loud voices. I grin at the people I pass, trying to remember the last time I felt so much a part of my surroundings. Not in Hoboken, not with Steve and his friends. The only time I’ve ever truly belonged was with the Merrick family and Abbi.
I’m so caught up in my thoughts, I’m not paying attention to where I’m going and I walk straight into a guy.
“I’m so sorry.” I throw out an arm to catch myself but he wraps an arm around my waist to keep me from going down.
“Are you okay?” he asks, steadying me.
I look up into deep brown eyes and a concerned expression. The man who I slammed into drops his hold and peers at me, waiting for a response. He’s attractive in an understated but familiar way.
“I know you,” I blurt out even though it can’t be further from the truth. I definitely don’t know this man and yet—
He laughs and shakes his head. “I’m a musician.”
“A musician?” I wrack my brain. “Derek Reiner?” My mouth drops open. “You were a clue in my crossword puzzle last month.”
The man, Boston-bred lead singer for The Burnt Clovers, shakes his head in disbelief and laughs. I blush, partly from embarrassment and partly because I’m talking to a real musician. In a bar. In Boston. I don’t recognize my life anymore.
“What crossword puzzle?” he asks after a moment, scrubbing a hand across his face. The facial scruff he’s rocking would look unkempt on anyone else, but on him, it just works. Must be the musician vibes. He places his hand in the small of my back and nudges me toward the bar. Half in shock that this exchange is even happening—I am obsessed with The Burnt Clovers—I move toward his group of friends.
“The Brooklyn Gazette. I, um, I write them.”
His face swivels toward mine. “You write crossword puzzles?”
I nod.
“No shit.” He laughs again. “You may just be the most interesting woman in here tonight.”
I blush harder, not hating this ego boost. “My best friend, Abbi, and I love you guys. Your new single, ‘Safe in Summer,’ is incredible.”
“Thanks,” he says easily, gesturing to Pete for some shots.
“Oh, I’m fine. I’m just—” I point toward the bathroom. “It was nice bumping into you,” I say lamely, wishing I was a lot less awkward but also not caring because ohmyGod, I just walked into Derek Reiner.
Derek smirks and shakes his head. “Let me buy you a drink. It’s the least I can do after almost taking you out.”
I bite my lip and point to the bathroom again. I don’t want Austin to think I’m ditching him. Even though we’re just friends, it’s still a shitty friend thing to do. “I’m good. But thanks for the offer and—”
“Chloe.” Austin’s voice sounds behind me.
“Derek?” Claire asks.
“Derek,” Easton sneers.
I freeze, trying to read the undercurrent of emotions in all of their voices. Slowly, I turn toward my group of friends. The tequila is buzzing through my veins now, making me feel a little out of my league. I know something is off but I can’t quite put my finger on it.
“Hey ya, Claire,” Derek says easily, moving in to kiss Claire hello.
Easton steps in between them and grips Derek’s shoulder.
Derek snorts and steps back, raising his hands. He turns back to me. “You sure you don’t want that drink?”
I shake my head. “Sorry for bumping into you.”
“Don’t sweat it, sweets.” He glances at Claire again. “I have a few things I want to run by you for our new single cover. Call you this week.”
She nods as Easton scowls.
Austin wraps his hand around my waist and tugs me firmly against his chest.
Derek catches the movement and his eyes light with amusement before he turns back to his friends.
“Come on,” Austin says, moving me back toward Panda and James and the rest of the Hawks.
“I still have to go to the bathroom,” I mutter.
Easton chuckles and tips his head. “We’ll walk you. I don’t remember you being this much of a troublemaker, Chlo.”
My mouth drops open. “I’m not, I wasn’t—”
“Relax.” Claire links her arm with mine and steers me toward the bathroom. “He’s just messing with you. I used to date Derek and—”
“You dated Derek Reiner?”
Claire nods, glancing over her shoulder. I follow her line of vision, noting how Austin’s gaze is zeroed in on me. His mouth is pressed into a thin line and his arms are crossed over his chest. He looks pissed.
I frown and his expression softens. He lifts his chin at me and I nod just as Claire pulls me around a corner.
“It was casual. I got swept up in him and it was a mistake. As you can tell, Easton can’t stand him but I still do some design work for The Burnt Clovers. And he’s not a bad guy. He just makes bad choices.”
I nod along, still trying to process everything that just happened on top of my two shots and an afternoon of day drinking.
The bathroom door closes behind us and Claire fixes me with a look.
“What?” I ask, glancing at myself in the mirror.
“I thought my brother was going to punch Derek in the face. That’s why I came over with him.”
“Austin? Punch Derek…” I murmur, my speech slightly slurred.
Claire’s eyes narrow. “You holding up okay, Chlo?”
I nod.
Claire tips her head toward the bathroom stall. “Go ahead. I’ll wait for you.” She shakes her head. “Not counting hockey, I haven’t seen Austin look that angry in years…” she says to herself.
I open my mouth to ask what she means but think better of it. I really need to pee and my mind is still reeling from meeting Derek Reiner, learning that Claire used to date him, and witnessing how protective Austin is over me.
Wait ‘til I tell Abbi….
12
Austin
“Fucking Derek Reiner,” Easton murmurs next to me.
“I can’t believe my sister ever dated him.”
Easton nods, rolling his lips together. “He’s a dick.”
“He would have liquored Chloe up real fast,” I agree, hating how easily she fell into step next to him. Did she want to have a drink with him? Did I just…what? Cockblock her? I cringe at the thought. I shouldn’t be messing with Chloe’s romantic life but fuck if I let her cozy up with Reiner. Not a chance in hell.
“I think she was just shocked,” East offers. “Especially if she’s a fan. Imagine if you randomly ran into One Direction or some shit.”
I flip him the middle finger and he chuckles.
“For real, what’s the deal with you?” Easton asks.
I shrug, glancing at him. “What do you mean?”
“You’re clearly into her as more than just a friend.”
“What clearly? I’ve known her forever. Of course I care
about her more than some girl I just met.”
East makes a sound in the back of his throat, a cross between laughter and swearing. “All right, man. All I’m saying is, if you’re into her, you better lock her down sooner rather than later. Because a woman who looks like Chloe, with her brains and her sweetness”—he shakes his head—“she’s not going to be on the market for long. Especially once she realizes most guys aren’t as douchey as her ex-fiancé.”
My hands curl in anger at the mention of Steve. God, I hate that guy. Hate that he once occupied Chloe’s mind and heart. Can’t fucking stand that she looked at Reiner tonight with damn hearts in her eyes. And don’t even get me started on Panda and his relentless flirting. If he touches her one more time… Christ, what the hell is wrong with me?
“Grab a drink, Aus. Take the edge off,” Easton murmurs beside me, sarcastic as ever.
I groan and my best friend laughs.
“It’s not like that,” I repeat but I’m not even convincing myself.
Easton’s laughter grows. He straightens as the girls come around the hallway and reenter the bar. Easton smacks my shoulder. “We’re getting out of here. After witnessing that bullshit, I need to remind Claire exactly what—”
“Stop talking and go,” I grind out. At times like these, I wish that my best friend wasn’t dating my baby sister.
Easton keeps laughing, walking over to Claire with his unchecked swagger. My sister practically melts into him and blows me a kiss goodbye as she follows Easton toward the exit.
Chloe sidles up beside me and I drape my arm around her shoulders, wanting her close. It’s irrational and on some level, I know it’s wrong, to want to claim her as mine when I have no intention of making her mine. But right now, I don’t give a fuck. I want to deck the next guy who makes freaking googley eyes at her—whether she wants the attention or not.
I brush my fingers over her bare shoulder, the feel of her soft skin settling me some. She shuffles closer to my side and I hold her tighter, liking how she fits beside me. Liking having her with me more than I thought I would.
What the hell did I get myself into? This was supposed to be easy, a fun summer without the usual dating drama I avoid at all costs. For sure, being with Chloe is a hell of a lot more fun than any of the other women I’ve dated in recent years. But I also feel too much when I’m with her. I watch out for her, concerned and anxious and desperate to know where she is at all times. That’s not normal, is it?