by Amelia Grey
She smiled at him and took a deep breath, feeling good about her decision to soon tell her father everything. He loved her and he would forgive her. She couldn’t expect Camden to forgive her transgressions. Saying good-bye to him would be the most difficult thing she had ever had to do.
“That we may be able to accomplish.”
“I’m very proud of you, dear, for planning this party. I never thought you would get everything done in time. I’ve received notes all week from friends and acquaintances I haven’t heard from in more than a year, telling me they have postponed their journeys to their summer homes just so they can attend this ball. You have managed a coup d’etat, my dear.”
She hoped so. She prayed this night would flush out Prince Charming. “Thank you, Papa. Now, I’ll have Newton get your wrap. I must arrive before anyone else.”
***
Masked and in sandals, Mirabella walked to the entrance of the Great Hall, leaving her father seated in the coach until the guests started arriving. She didn’t want him getting tired before the evening began. She stood at the doorway and looked inside the grand ballroom. The room was spectacularly decorated in the finery of a bygone era. The chandeliers were lit and the wall sconces glowed with soft light. Large pots of all white flowers and roses lined the steps.
At the far end of the room stood three long tables laden with silver and crystal dishes filled with such delicacies as chilled oysters, fowl baked in a fig and plum gravy, apples and pears cooked in a brandy sauce. The sparkling champagne glasses were lined up ready to be filled and handed to each guest who entered. The violinist, cellist and flutist were already playing a rousing tune.
The side doors were swung wide and a gentle breeze blew in just enough to flicker the candle flame. From the open doorways, she could see that the clouds had scattered across the spacious night sky and the darkness was beaded with twinkling stars.
She’d had a candle stand set up at the entry way where she would stand so that she would have no trouble seeing everyone’s shoulder when they stopped to greet her. So far everything about the evening was in order.
Mirabella looked at the room and knew she really only wanted one thing to make the evening perfect—to find Prince Charming. She wouldn’t allow herself to think about what she would do should she fail.
Mirabella didn’t know how long she’d been standing there looking into the beautiful room when she heard the soft sound of sandals on marble. She looked behind her and saw a tall, masked man, dressed in a toga, walking toward her. She knew immediately it was Camden. She knew the tilt of his head, the swing of his shoulders, and the glide of his stride. Is that how he’d known her even when she was dressed as a man? Was he as aware of everything about her as she was him?
Mirabella had no doubts that she was in love with Camden. It was natural for her to know everything about him.
As he drew near, she saw that his neck and shoulder were the same golden shade of tan as his face. The exposed area of his chest and arms was thick and muscular.
Mirabella remembered that afternoon when she had touched his damp skin. Her lower abdomen contracted at the thought. It pained her to think that she might never touch him that way again.
His toga was made from heavy white muslin. The piece that held his gown together on his left shoulder was a large stone that was black and shiny as onyx. His fig leaf crown and small feather mask had been painted black to match his shoulder medallion.
When he stood before her, he said, “Miss, I’d like the first and the last dance on your dance card, and all the dances in between.”
Her heart fluttered deliciously and her spirits lifted tremendously. Mirabella looked past his mask into his dark brown eyes. How could she find the courage to give him up when the time came to do so? She couldn’t. She loved him with all her heart. Perhaps she should tell her father everything about Sarah and the ruse and be done with all the secrecy. But did she have the courage to do it knowing the truth would force Camden to walk away from her?
“What a brave man you are to limit yourself to one lady. Tonight the Whittinghams will play host to the most beautiful women in London. However, I will not bind you to your rash offer. I fear I won’t be dancing tonight. I will be here at my post the entire evening watching everyone who arrives.”
“Then I shall stay here by your side.”
“That isn’t necessary and I won’t hear of it. I’m capable. You should enjoy the evening.”
His gaze swept up and down her face. “I know how capable you are, and I will enjoy the evening right here watching over you. Now, tell me, Miss Whittingham, do you think your dressmaker could have cut your toga any lower? I fear the least bit of movement of your right arm will make you show more of your bosom than is proper.”
“Sir, it’s perfectly acceptable for a lady to show her bosom, but quite unacceptable for a man to make reference to it.”
Camden chuckled softly. “A thousand pardons, my lady, but I have seen how beautiful your breasts are, and I don’t want to share their beauty with others. I fear the material of your gown is frightfully thin.”
Mirabella was sure she blushed crimson but was determined not to let his provocative words fluster her. “Nonsense. This material is very fashionable. My modiste swore to me she patterned this gown after one of Athena’s gowns.”
“Therein lies the problem, I fear. This is a Roman toga party, not Greek.”
Mirabella realized he was teasing her. She relaxed and smiled easily at him. “Not to worry, my lord. I have no doubt I’ll stay adequately covered the entire evening.”
Camden stepped closer to her and said, “You are beautiful, Mirabella. You look like a very tempting goddess tonight.”
“And you, my lord, look like an angel.”
Camden burst out with a strong laugh. “An angel? I’ve been called many things, but never has it been said that I look like a heavenly creature. I suppose I could be considered an archangel since what I’m wearing is so white.”
“It’s not your attire that makes you look like an angel to me. It’s because you have helped me in so many ways these past weeks. I am grateful.”
“You are sounding much too serious.”
“This is a very important evening for me.”
“I know, but you must have enjoyment from the evening, too.”
She smiled at him. “I will. I promise. I take it you saw no one with a scar in your nightly visits to the gentlemen’s clubs.”
“No. You must not be disheartened if you do not find the man you seek tonight, Mirabella.”
Her body tensed and her throat tightened. “I refuse to think about the possibility of that happening.”
“You know, I want very much to kiss your bare shoulder right now. Your skin is lovely and inviting. Do you think anyone would notice if I just kissed your soft skin right about there?” He bent his head toward her.
“Camden, there are people everywhere. Don’t you dare,” Mirabella said with a smile and quickly stepped away. She would have loved nothing better than to feel Camden’s warm lips on her bare skin. “My father is resting in the carriage waiting for our guests to start arriving before he enters.”
“Your father is here?”
“Yes, God bless him, he is here tonight, even if only for a short time. Papa has said that Uncle Archer will see me home.”
Camden frowned. “I wish Society would realize that chaperones are not needed for an engaged couple.”
Mirabella heard voices behind her. She took a deep breath and gave Camden a hopeful look. “Here come the first guests.”
“Good luck,” he whispered softly.
The night began with a stream of people that had no end in sight. Everyone dressed as they had been instructed, baring their right shoulder. Each toga-clad person stopped briefly to greet Mirabella before entering the gala. She didn’t look anyone in the eyes. She kept her focus on their necks.
Mirabella had no idea the neck, throat and shoulder area could look so dif
ferent. She saw thin necks, fat shoulders, and bumpy-looking throats. She saw fair skin, dark skin, and spotted skin. She had even seen a couple of pock scars but no wide, raised blemishes or marks just above the collarbone on the left side of any of the necks.
Her father tired after only an hour or two and left. Camden brought her lemonade and some food, but she had very little appetite for the gorgeous dinner that had been prepared. She left her post to go to the ladies’ retiring room only once and then only after Camden promised he wouldn’t step away for anything, including a fire.
As the evening grew long, so did Mirabella’s smile. She remained at her post, watching everyone who had entered earlier in the evening begin to leave.
The candles had burned down to dry puddles. Pale shades of dawn broke the deep purple clouds of night and split the sky between twilight and dawn. Camden stepped up beside Mirabella and said, “I’ve walked the grounds. I don’t think any of the guests are still here.”
She felt rigid and was trying her best not to sound that way. “There must be someone left, a few that you missed.”
“No, Mirabella, only the staff.”
She kept her shoulders erect, although she felt the weight of an unbelievable burden pressing them down. She faced the empty ballroom and declared, “I missed him. I’m sure he was here, but somehow I missed him.”
“You couldn’t have missed him. I searched everyone, too. He was not here.”
“No,” she whispered, refusing to look at Camden, refusing to admit defeat.
“There’s one possibility I don’t think you’ve thought of.”
She turned to him in hope. “What?”
“Perhaps Sarah was delusional.”
Mirabella gasped. She didn’t know what she had expected Camden to say, but it certainly wasn’t that. “What do you mean?”
“There’s the possibility that she wanted to have a Prince Charming in her life so desperately that she made him up in her mind. Maybe there never was a man in her life.”
Mirabella wished she felt like laughing, so ludicrous was Camden’s suggestion. Sarah’s mind was not weak. “That’s the most preposterous thing I’ve ever heard. She wouldn’t kill herself because of a figment of her imagination! A woman knows whether or not she is expecting a child.”
Camden touched her arm affectionately. “I’m just saying that maybe in her mind all the things she wrote in her diary were real to her, but not true to life.”
“No,” Mirabella whispered earnestly. “No, Camden. There is no way I can believe she dreamed all this. If she lived in a make-believe world I would have known it.”
“But she lived a life you didn’t know about. A life with Prince Charming.”
Mirabella’s chest felt tight and heavy. Her eyes threatened to fill with tears. She had such an overpowering sense of loss, of desperation. “Sarah was afraid to tell anyone what had happened. What you’re saying doesn’t make sense. If she were immersed in an unreal life, she would have dreamed that they lived happily ever after. She wouldn’t have ended her fairy tale saying Prince Charming wouldn’t marry her when she told him she was carrying his child.”
Camden gently took hold of Mirabella’s shoulders and looked deeply into her eyes. “I’m only trying to think of something that might help you accept the fact that you haven’t found this man, and at this point, you’re probably not going to find him.”
Mirabella tried to pull out of his arms.“Trying to make me think Sarah had somehow gone mad won’t do it.”
“You would prefer to think he was here and you just missed him?”
She shook her head. “No.”
“All right, do you want to believe he is out of Town, and that is why he didn’t come?”
She tried to break free of him once again. “No.”
“Then perhaps he’s in Town but didn’t attend because he knows you are looking for him?”
Mirabella felt she was at the breaking point. She looked up at him with pleading eyes. “Stop, Camden. I’m too weary for your logic. I’ll find him. I know I will. I must.”
“Mirabella.”
“I must, Camden.” She heard the pleading in her voice, but could do nothing about the weakness. “I gave up any chance of having a life with you to find this man. Don’t you understand that failure to find him is too great a price to pay for what I gave up?”
“Come with me, Mirabella.”
“No. I must find Uncle Archer. I haven’t seen him tonight, and I need to find him and go home.”
“I haven’t seen him tonight, but I assure you there is no one here but you and I.”
Confused, she shook her head. “He wouldn’t have left me.”
“I have walked the grounds twice already. I’m sure he must have misunderstood your father’s plans for you. I will see you home.”
Mirabella felt Camden’s warm, strong hands on her arms. His gaze searched her face and a calm reasoning came over her. “I don’t want to go home, Camden. I want to go with you somewhere we can be alone.”
Eighteen
Camden’s heart threatened to beat out of his chest. What did she mean she didn’t want to go home? Though she still wore her feathered mask, he searched her eyes, not wanting to misread what she had said. He wanted her. Desperately. He had wanted her from the first night he saw her when she was alone on the street, but had she meant what he was thinking?
His throat was thick and all he managed to say was, “Mirabella.”
“I know it’s not the thing a lady asks of a gentleman, especially one who has been as honorable as you.”
“No. Do not make me noble, Mirabella. I am not.”
“I know I shouldn’t ask anything more of you, but I don’t want to go home. I want you to take me to your bed and love me.”
Camden’s lower body reacted strongly to her words. He swallowed hard. What could he say? Could he deny her request because it was the right thing to do? Because Society expected that he not take a virgin to his bed, even if she was considered his fiancée, even if he loved her and wanted to marry—
Love her? Marry her? Where did those thoughts come from?
He wanted her, desired her, but did he love her?
If not, why else would he be willing to overlook her trysts with other men? If he didn’t love her, the reason she kissed other men wouldn’t matter, only that she had been ruined. But standing so close to her, looking into her eyes, feeling as he did, he realized he didn’t care how many gentlemen she had kissed or why. He wanted to be with her. She belonged to him.
“If you won’t take me away, will you hold me for a moment?”
She had misread him. “Oh, Mirabella.” He opened his arms wide, and she rushed to his chest. He squeezed her tightly to him and whispered, “My silence didn’t mean I don’t want to be with you. I do. Desperately. But you aren’t thinking rationally, so I have to.”
She buried her lips into the corded muscles of his bare neck and asked, “Why is it not rational to want to be in your arms and in your bed? I know what I feel.”
His arms stroked her back. He loved the feel of her soft breath against his cool skin. “You are overwrought and emotional right now. You’ve suffered a big loss tonight in not finding Sarah’s Prince Charming. I don’t want your desire for me to be a substitute for what didn’t happen tonight.”
She looked up and into his eyes and smiled at him. “You a substitute? Never, my lord. My devastation will be even harder to bear if you refuse me. I want you to show me how a woman pleases a man.” She pushed aside the neckline of his toga and planted a warm kiss in the hollow of his throat.
Camden sensed her power over him, and suddenly felt as if he were standing steady on water. “You test me.”
“Show me how to pleasure you,” she whispered.
“Oh, Mirabella, you make my knees weak with your pleadings. I’ve dreamed of doing just that, but I must think of what is best for you.”
“If you are worried that I will demand you marry me, I swear I wo
n’t.”
Demand he marry her? He had just been thinking that he’d be a fool not to marry her.
“You have no need to force me to marry you, Mirabella. I don’t want you to make a hasty decision tonight and regret it later.”
“This has not been an impulsive determination, sir. I have thought a long time about this. Will you grant my wish and take me someplace where we can be together?”
Camden looked deeply into her eyes and whispered, “Yes, Mirabella. I will make you mine.”
He took her hand and they fled the Great Hall, racing down the front steps together. Camden’s mind whirled. Where could they go at this time of the early morning? He couldn’t take her to an inn or any public housing where they might be recognized. With finances so tight, he had no place of his own. There were plenty of town houses he could have borrowed from friends, but those arrangements would have needed to have been made ahead of time.
The only place to go where there would be a reasonable amount of privacy was his parents’ home. There would be no one at his house but Hudson. If Hudson should by chance see Mirabella there, he could trust his brother not to gossip, but he didn’t like the thought of Hudson knowing anything about his intimate relationship with Mirabella. Camden would have to be very careful to make sure she wasn’t seen.
Camden helped her inside his carriage and then climbed in beside her. She went immediately into his arms. He realized she was shivering. Reaching over to the opposite seat, he grabbed his great coat and wrapped it around her. He held her close to his chest and caressed her back and bare shoulder.
The carriage wheels clanked and the horses’ hooves plopped along the silent street. His own heart pumped furiously at the thought that this woman he had wanted for weeks was going to be his.
Doubts struck Camden. Did she really know what she was doing? She had asked him to take her somewhere and make love to her. The thought made him tremble. “Mirabella, say the word and I will take you to your father’s house.”
“I want to be with you.”
“It’s dawn. Your father will be worried about you.”