by Marten, Mimi
“Oh, sure. I’ll be there next week. Is it too soon?”
“What do you mean next week?”
“I’m at the airport. My departure is in an hour. I’m going to Vegas, then New York.”
The silence was a confirmation of Philippe’s upset state, for a million different reasons. Him not knowing. Him not being in charge. Him not having a say. And her traveling alone.
“Philippe, I wrote you an explanation. I asked Marcello to pick it up.”
“Marcello knew?” Philippe couldn’t believe it. Now even his own employees were on her side.
“Of course not. I only asked him to pick something up from my place.”
While on the phone, Philippe wrote a note for his secretary to tell Marcello to hurry up with the letter from Simona. He walked outside and handed her the paper. She started dialing Marcello’s number while Philippe walked back to his office.
“Ok then. Have a good flight,” Philippe sighed.
“Philippe, I left Francois with Reni. I have never been away from him for a whole week. I could use a little pep talk.”
Philippe realized that she needed him and that it wasn’t the time for him to be pissed off.
“Francois is going to be fine. I’ll check on them, and you have to remind yourself that you are doing all this for him. It’s for you to make the right decision that is going to make you happy. And the trickle effect of him having the best.”
Is he trying to trick me? Having the best? He knows I have no idea what’s the best or how to navigate this. Is he messing with my head?
“Simo?”
“Yes, thank you. I know. I’m just being a little hormonal, I guess. My boobs will probably explode on the plane.”
“Another smart reason to fly commercial.”
“You will be happy to know that I wasn’t Jewish and got myself a first class seat.”
“No you didn’t. You are sitting in business.”
“I hate you, Philippe.”
“It’s my business to know about the people who work for me.”
“You must have had funny mushrooms for breakfast.”
“Text me when you land, please.”
“Why? You are going to have a tracker on me anyway.”
Philippe hated to be predictable, but didn’t let up. “The plane maybe. But who knows if you drop dead?”
“I want to be cremated and spread in the ocean, please. The eulogy better not be some sensitive, crying garbage. And my wake better be the party of the year. Promise?”
“Wrote it all down.”
“Merci, Philippe. I’ll text you when I land.”
“Take your time. Don’t rush, as usual.”
Simona hung up the phone when the lounge attendant came over to let her know that her plane was boarding. By the time she arrived at the gate, they were calling her name. She looked at her watch. She still had 30 minutes.
“Good morning, Madame. May I have your boarding pass, please? We missed you in the lounge,” the gate assistant said with the usual fake smile she gave dozens of other people this morning.
“Why? Do we have a delay?”
“No, but your seat has been upgraded to our first class cabin.”
“Thank you.”
Simona couldn’t dwell on the event because her phone rang.
“Hey, are you at the gate?”
“Yes. You?” She was happy to hear Andre’s voice before getting on the plane.
“Just got here. How was the lounge?”
“Too early for a drink.”
“I miss you already, Blondie.”
“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. Enjoy the weekend with the Zatopek clan. And say hello to Elise.”
“Will do. Have a safe flight.”
Simona hung up, reached for her new boarding pass, and walked into the boarding tunnel. First class was only eight seats, and she couldn’t help but smile looking at her cubicle.
Well, hello my small home for the next 11 hours. I’ll try to make the best out of it. Altitude and crossing the Atlantic always do wonders. I’m open, and I’ll take any breakthroughs I can get.
Her phone started beeping again and interrupted Simona’s silent dialogue.
“I love you too!”...and “Pushing back...I love you!”…appeared on the screen at the same time.
That’s great! God’s sarcastic humor, here we go. Two men, the same text message, at the same time. The Universe is definitely not helping today.
Simona always said that she was a gypsy at heart, and traveling never became old for her. She loved flying, and not only in first class. She enjoyed being in the economy cabin, as well. She called them ‘interesting encounters with strangers.’ She drew many inspirations, even characters, for her books from her travels. Many times she didn’t use the lounge. She would rather spend time sitting at the bar, in a restaurant, talking to bartenders and fellow travelers.
An eleven hour flight was truly her ‘own.’ She ended up in a time capsule of her own world, without anyone. She left all the people, worries, even all her titles on the ground in Europe. She wasn’t a mom, partner, friend, writer. She was simply a human being flying high above, close to the Universe, over a massive amount of water called the Atlantic Ocean. The destination, history tells us, was the ‘end of the world, a new world.’
Well, somehow, almost six hundred years later, it still felt that way. She still felt this magical feeling that always happened on the crossing. She surrendered to her own thoughts, feelings, dreams, and reflections. She wrote, read, slept a little, and close to the end of the flight, she decided to watch a movie.
15
"THE SOUL IS THE G-SPOT FOR HAPPINESS."
LAS VEGAS IS a deceivingly ordinary city during the day. It only comes alive at night when it changes into the most spectacular party place on the planet. Simona was arriving first. Jada’s plane wasn’t landing until the evening. She planned to have a late lunch and booked herself a two hours massage. She was blissfully happy in a zombie spa state when entering the room, completely unaware of her surroundings, Jada suddenly jumped out. Simona’s scream scared the shit out of Jada. They both had to catch their breath before they started laughing hysterically like two school girls.
“You’re a fucking wacko! You almost gave me a heart attack!” Jada screamed.
“I’m whacked? You scared me shitless,” Simona complained.
“I knooooow! It just never gets old with you. You don’t ever disappoint.”
“One day, all you fuckers will feel bad when I really drop dead from fright.” Simona was pretending to be mad.
“Yeah right. I’m not worried there. You are not afraid of anything. There is a huge chance that Lucifer is afraid of you,” Jada was smirking, raising her eye brows.
“Lucifer and I go way back. How do you suppose I got you the VIP entrance ticket to hell?”
“Well, that’s great because I got VIP tickets for tonight and tomorrow night.”
“Yaaaaaay! Where are we going?” Simona was jumping up and down like a little Francois.
“First, give me a hug already. Then feed me. Then I’ll tell you.”
It was a fantastic evening with a lot of catching up, talking about kids, mutual friends, work, travels. After dinner they rushed to a Cirque du Soleil performance. They both fell asleep exhausted, but pleasantly happy to see each other, sleeping on a big bed together, like in the old times. Being on complete opposite time zones was going to be a challenge, but neither of them ever made a big deal out of the jet lag. After breakfast, they booked a cabana by the pool, and Jada finally said, “I’m all yours. Lay it on me.”
When it came to personal stuff, Simona was a much better listener than talker. But with Jada, she felt safe to just get it all out. With little breaks here and there, Simona talked the whole afternoon, and Jada was being a very attentive listener. For Simona, it felt like ‘pouring out.’ For Jada, it was ‘let me make sure I don’t drown so that I’m able to give her an unbiased opinion.
’ It was a new experience for both of them. Neither was the type that would dwell on something forever or talk too much. But this was different. Jada felt that Simona bottled up so much that it was a miracle she didn’t explode. She knew her best friend didn’t trust anyone.
By the time they arrived at the restaurant for dinner, Jada processed all the information and was ready to give Simona the verdict from her perspective.
“Ok. First things first. You know that I’m on your side no matter if it’s yin or yang, right?”
“Yes, I know...”
“You also know that anything I say, I say with love, with no intention to hurt you, offend you, or make you feel bad, right?”
“Oh my God. Do we really have to do this?”
“Yes. Say it.”
“I know you have my best intentions at heart,” Simona said with a nod. “Now, can you just be yourself and give it to me straight up?”
“I feel your pain, but you are fooling yourself. Justifying your reasoning based on fear, logic, and perhaps, even an easy way out.”
Jada raised her hand in protest and continued, “Look, I let you talk all day. It’s your turn to listen. You asked me, remember? So, as right or wrong as I may be, you are going to have to listen to what I have to say.”
Simona just smiled and nodded.
“You are not going to fail no matter what you decide. You are going to continue to have an amazing journey because you are wise enough to know that every experience is just a lesson. And the grass is not greener on the other side, but on the side where you take care of it. You have been on this journey for a while. You found inner happiness. The shit we all struggle to master. You are already ahead of the game. You worked on that first, before your outer happiness and fortune came. You are justifying your inability to make the choice because you think that you will lose your autonomy. I’m calling your ego on this one. You already have full control over your life. You have your independence in every aspect, and you will never be dependent on anyone because your life is self-endorsed.”
“Ok, so if I’m not afraid of losing my life and independence, then what is it?”
“You are in love with two men.”
“I do love them both. But it’s different...”
“You are not hearing me. I said you are ‘in love’ with two men. Not just ‘love’ two men.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“That means let’s smell the coffee, shall we? The story you have been telling yourself, and probably both of them, is bogus.”
“What story? You don’t believe that I’m afraid to make a mistake? That I want to make a responsible decision? That I’m weighing the options, not just for me, but for Francois, too?”
“All of that is true. But you are twirling it around the wrong subject. You have tortured your mind and overanalyzed it from every angle? Why do you not have the solution then?”
“Because I’m lost?”
“No. Because you are analyzing the wrong shit. You need to analyze, visualize and all the other self torture you do over who you want to be with. Who is the man for you? Who do you want to share your life with?”
“Are you nuts? You think this is because of Philippe and Andre?”
“Not only sure but I’ll put my royal ass and rotten soul on it.”
“Oh my God. How did I get here?”
“Blindfolded. Let’s take them off. I will do the nonsensical part. You can do the emotional later on your own. First of all, let’s take Francois out of the equation. He should not be the deciding factor. So for clarity’s sake, let’s just do you. The elimination process is not going to be easy. Let’s take the ‘relationship of pleasure’ out of it, too. It would be unfair to Philippe, considering you two have never ‘done it,’” Jada laughed, shaking her head. It almost seemed she was enjoying this.
“How can I be in love with a guy if the relationship wasn’t consumed? Platonic love?” Simona was trying to repay the sarcasm, challenging Jada.
“Oh, please, don’t kid yourself. Your intimacy is above any marriage after 20 years. Just because you didn’t have the cake yet doesn’t mean you don’t have the dinners down.”
“That doesn’t guarantee it would work in bed.”
“With Philippe’s charisma and reputation, I’m not worried there.”
“Are you planning on winning every argument tonight?”
“Pretty much. Where was I? Okay, pleasure is out. And so is any type of status.”
“You are wrong there. I’m sure I would gain some royal title with Philippe.”
“Focus! The relationship with either man is soul to soul. That’s where you are screwed. They are both partners that make you feel happier, they inspire you, they both believe in you, they both have the potential of a soul mate. Neither is just some superficial muse. And that, my dear, is your dilemma.”
“So, which one is the right one then?” Simona asked.
“As our lovely friend Karen says, ‘the soul is the G-spot for happiness!’”
“That’s very helpful. Especially after your list of credentials of both of their souls. Now what? Elimination process? Choose the safer version?”
“Well, nobody is here to snoop on us. It will go to our graves with us. Shoot.” Jada gave Simona an encouraging queen gesture to continue.
“Andre fucked up. I know what betrayal feels like, thanks to him.”
“That’s fair enough. Philippe?”
“Philippe never let me down. He makes me feel safe, but not sure if he can do the ‘every day.’ It works because we have our freedom. And despite his reputation, what if it doesn’t work in bed?”
“Ok, good questions. With the physical part, why don’t you just do it?”
“Now? That’s really fucked up advice. Body and soul, remember?”
“You already got the soul. Just add the body.” Jada was shaking her head.
“I can’t do it. I may love two men, but I will never be with two men at the same time.”
“Never say never, and I didn’t say a threesome.”
“Shut up. Any better advice?”
“Nope. Now you know. At least you can agonize about the right thing.”
“Reality always gives you what you need. Question is, why did I need this? What is there for me to learn? What is it that I can’t see?”
Jada was shaking her head, raising her eyebrows, sipping on her drink…
❖ ❖ ❖
After two days of luscious spa treatments, dinners, and theatre, it was time for nature. Simona was very aware that Jada didn’t do any manual labor or strenuous activities. Nothing that would require any great exertion. Therefore a helicopter tour of the Grand Canyon with a landing on a flat viewpoint and a sunset dinner was just the right dose of nature. She paid extra for a great bottle of wine and a shaker full of a very dirty martini. The flight was only 35 min over Lake Mead and the Hoover Dam to the Grand Canyon. They landed on the West Rim; the view was breathtaking. The beauty and the scale of the canyon were making them emotional. Simona grabbed Jada under her arm. They stood there together for a few minutes, speechless, until service personnel came with two glasses of champagne.
“Here is to nature making us feel small,” Jada raised her glass.
“Amen. It truly is a wonder of nature,” Simona was mesmerized.
“Dinner in the canyon on a white table cloth and real china?”
“A special picnic for your royal ass.”
When the martini glass showed up, Jada didn’t even look surprised. “This better be filthy dirty.”
“Yes, it’s disgustingly dirty. Can you at least pretend that you are surprised?” Simona sighed.
“Surprised? Absolutely not. I have known you for too long. You are OCD perfection.”
“You are welcome.”
“I hope you didn’t forget my Margherita pizza and Caesar salad.”
“They refused, I’m afraid. They said their reputation is VIP. Those didn’t make the cut.”
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“I surrender. Between the view and the martini, I will happily put up with your gourmet crap.”
“You practically live in five star restaurants, and it’s such a waste on you. Life is not fair.”
“Cheers! Let’s drink to that late discovery.”
The sunset colors were changing every minute. It seemed like a never ending photo opportunity. Simona was sipping her red wine, enjoying the silence. Jada finally noticed that she was being unusually quiet.
“So, any breakthroughs you would like to confess to?”
“I figured out my lesson, Jada. I know why I’m put into this situation…”
Jada was getting curious by her serious tone, giving Simona her undivided attention.
“....I needed to figure out compassion.”
“Compassion for what? For whom? And why?”
Simona hesitated, and Jada was fully intrigued.
“Spill your sins. This is a magical place of Mother Nature. No better place to dump some shit than in this canyon.”
“They are not mine. I just carried them.”
Jada was completely lost. She used every ounce of her discipline to keep calm instead of showing her true emotions of eager curiosity. She was not a nosy person, but this was like solving a puzzle. The puzzle was her best friend.
“Andre had an affair while we were still together.”
“What? How? Wait. What now?”
“Why is it so shocking? You had him for a saint?”
“No, no. Back up a little. Define affair.”
“He had an online relationship with another woman.”
“Oh, like some platonic bullshit? You almost gave me a heart attack.”
“No, Jada. It wasn’t platonic. And it wasn’t bullshit. I have never said that to anyone, but he built a relationship with someone that he met in Prague on one of his trips. He continued the affair for months online while we were together.”
Jada needed to process that information, staring at the Colorado River at the bottom of the canyon.
“Is that the same woman who he said to you in the end ‘I met someone’?”
“I can only assume so...”