There were candles and a lighter; I lit them and set two places. Robbie turned away from the stove to get a bottle of wine. After he pulled out the cork, he handed it to me and I poured two glasses. Finally, he served our dinner. Before he sat on the stool beside me, he whispered in my ear.
“Beef to build your strength.”
“Oh!” I exclaimed.
“Trust me, Lulu, you’re going to need this.” His smile told a telling tale. I just hoped he’d be ready for me. I had a different kind of hunger.
“So, are you going to tell me about Keelin?” he asked as we ate.
“He keeps an eye on me, in a mentor kind of way. He teaches literature on a different plane than myself. I’d just ended a relationship when we became friends. We’re just good friends. Besides, he’d like getting to know you more than me.”
“I see,” he smiled. “The relationship…”
“Ended.”
“But it seems it hurt you,” he prodded.
“I learned a lot from that relationship, let’s just leave it at that.”
“Did you learn about sex from him?” He couldn’t seem to let it go.
“No. I learned about lovemaking.” My words had a bite to them. I turned to look at him. “Do we really want to have this conversation?”
“I just want to know you, Lulu.”
“Here’s what I learned, and then we’ll drop it, okay?” He nodded. “I’ve had sex. I’ve been seduced and loved. I liked the lovemaking much better.”
“What did we share the other night?” he asked, watching me. His gaze was intent as he waited for my reply.
I didn’t hesitate. “We had sex.”
“Then tonight, I’m going to make love to you.”
After dinner, we moved to the sofa and talked a while. He told me about his job as a financial analyst for Lofton’s Lapels, a high-end local men’s clothing store.
“They watch the trends, I check the market, cost, resale, all of that.”
“No wonder you dress so sharp,” I noted.
“I’ve noticed that your clothing is well chosen and put together, too. You have a good eye.”
“No, I have a wonderful gay man that I shop with!” I giggled.
“You’re a charmer, too. Sweet flirtations, not raunchy like some ladies I meet. I like you, Lulu. A lot.”
He leaned closer to kiss me, and after the ‘not raunchy’ comment, I decided to let him take the lead, because in that moment, I wanted this man.
Calm down, Lulu.
“Come with me.” He took my hand and led me upstairs to his room.
Jesus, I hope so!
He lay down on his bed and motioned for me to join him. We were both still dressed. When I was at his side, he turned to face me. He peppered my face with sweet kisses. His hands gently massaged my breasts. Finally, one hand moved lower. He eased my skirt up and placed his hand between my legs. He pressed lightly, not moving a finger. Just holding his hand firmly in that place had me anxious. The pressure increased, and I thought I felt his pulse through my panties, but I realized it was mine. I arched and the pressure intensified. I’d never felt anything like this before. He wasn’t doing anything but pressing his hand, and I thought I was going to have an orgasm just from his touch.
I reached my hand to his crotch and did the same. He either had a lower tolerance to touch than me, or he was already so far gone that my touch threw him over the edge. He unbuckled his belt quickly, easing my hand inside.
Hard and ready, I thought. “Not sex, Robbie. Make love to me.”
“I want you. I want to bury myself in you and make you want me.”
“I already do,” I whispered.
“No, Lulu. I want you to want me.”
We got naked and Robbie straddled me. The look in his eyes, the lean, bare body, the sculptured chest…damn!
I didn’t pay attention when we were together the last time. Oh, how I want this man.
The feel of him, as my hands explored him. The feel of his erection as he teased, and taunted until finally, he slowly entered my body. He wasn’t in any kind of hurry.
“Oh my God. What are you going to do?”
“Lay here just like this, until you can’t take it any more.”
“I can take it,” I whispered, raising my hips to bring him deeper. I tightened my muscles. He groaned. “What if you can’t take it any more?”
“Seductress.” He smiled and tightened his arms around me. I squirmed. Shifting myself, I pushed my hips higher, digging my fingers in his back.
“Christ, Lulu. You win!” I held on for the ride.
“I think I love you,” Robbie said, breathlessly.
“What?”
“That was amazing. I don’t think I can ever let you leave.” He kissed behind my ear and snuggled closer. “Ever.”
“You’ll think differently when you wake up in the morning.”
“You’re staying, right?” he asked.
“Yes. If you want me to.”
He wrapped me in his arms. “I told you, I don’t think I can ever let you leave. Damn, Lulu.”
His body is taut, not an ounce of fat on him. He’s a beautiful man. His moves are deliberate, he knows what he’s doing.
We went out a few more times; dinner, cocktails, movies, art walks and drinks downtown. Our relationship was growing and it was nice. I enjoyed his company. I enjoyed the sex. I don’t know that we’d made it to the level of lovemaking, but it was good none-the-less.
We had a dinner date on Friday and I brought my things to spend the night. We went to a small bistro type for dinner. It was quaint and romantic.
Robbie professed his love for me.
“Lulu, I’ve never been with a woman like you. You captivate me. You are a surprise, and I realized something important about you.”
“What’s that?” I asked. He reached across the table and held my hand.
“I realized that I’ve fallen madly in love with you.”
When we got back to his place the seduction began. It was crazy sex. He was insatiable. It was wild. When it was over, I rolled into his arms and fell asleep.
When I woke in the morning, Robbie was watching me.
He moved closer and pulled me beside him into his arms. “Lulu, you make me want to do things I’ve never done before.”
“That makes me nervous,” I giggled. “Like what?”
He moved so that he hovered above me. “Like being with you.”
His face was so serious that it took me by surprise. “Wh…what does that mean?”
“I mean, I’m not a one woman kind of guy. I don’t want to be tied down, but something about you makes me want to be only with you. I‘m in love with you.”
The kiss he shared next was the most passionate, loving caress of lips on mine that I’d ever experienced. I felt goose bumps. I’ve never had goose bumps from a kiss, ever, not even the first kiss that I shared with Jason.
“I mean it, Lulu. I can’t think about anything but you.” His look was pleading and it melted my heart.
“It’s just…” I paused.
Step lightly, this is big, Lulu.
“It’s just so soon.”
“I can wait for you to warm up to us. I know it’s soon, but I’ve never felt you before.”
“Yes, you did, the other night,” I laughed, trying to lighten the mood. He was so serious.
“I mean the you that I can’t shake away. The feel of that you, Lulu, I can wait,” he said once more. “I need to rinse off, that was a work out. Join me?”
The sex continued in the shower. Finally, exhausted, we crawled back in bed and he held me.
For the next three months Robbie courted me; he courted my dad too. We made love, and I fell in love. I tried not to. Not because he wasn’t a good guy, because I was scared.
We were at an alehouse, tasting local brews with some friends, but Robbie seemed to be somewhere else in his thoughts. I waited until we were driving home to inquire.
�
��What’s on your mind?” I reached over, toying with the sandy-blond hair that lay close to his collar. “You seem preoccupied this evening.”
He turned to look at me. “You, Lulu. I’ve been thinking about this for a week or so.” His eyes met mine with a sweet gaze, and then he turned back to the road ahead.
“Move in with me.”
“What?” I was shocked.
“You spend half the week at my place. It makes sense. Move in with me.”
“That’s a commitment–a big one,” I said with a sigh, fidgeting with the strap of my purse.
“You love me, right?” he asked.
“I do love you.”
“Then move in with me and we’ll plan the road ahead. I love you, Lulu.”
I didn’t expect this. I don’t want to say the wrong thing. I do love him, but this is big. I’m not sure I’m ready for all that this means. Maybe this ‘road ahead’ is just a stepping-stone. I need to know there’s a future. I’m not sure. My mind is racing; my heart is slamming against my chest.
“Hello?” Robbie said, sounding hurt.
“I’m just, well…I just wasn’t expecting this and I’m taken aback.”
“Because you didn’t think we had a future, only a now?” he asked, seriously.
“I hoped for a future,” I said, honestly. “You just took me by surprise tonight, that’s all.”
“I hope to surprise you every day, Lulu. So?”
“Yes. I’ll move in with you, because I love you.”
“Not just because we are awesome in bed?”
“Well, that too,” I laughed. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”
“Yes, Lulu. Yes.”
And so it began. Another step in my journey…
January 2007
My dad warmed up to the idea, but it took him some time. I wasn’t sure he was happy about it. I knew that first it was because I was leaving him.
“Lulu, this old house it going to be empty without you.”
“I’ll be twenty minutes away. You know I’ll be back here so often that you won’t even miss me.” I smiled, caressing his hand as he fought back tears. I blinked quickly to hold mine at bay.
“Why aren’t you getting married?”
That was the question that gutted me. Because that’s not what he asked for, but mostly, because I’m not sure he’s the one. I want him to be, but I’m not sure.
“I’m not sure I know the answer to that,” I replied, because I didn’t.
Making Robbie’s house ours was a chore. I didn’t bring a lot because I didn’t have a lot. I’d lived at 2688 Monroe Street my entire life. I didn’t have dishes or pots and pans. I didn’t have furniture. I was moving in to Robbie’s house.
“Lulu, it’ll be fine. We’ll make it our home,” he told me, when he noticed me wandering around one morning only seeing his things.
“I know.”
“You aren’t second guessing this, are you?” He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me, hugging me, as though to reassure me.
“No, not at all. I just realized that I’m thirty years old and I have never not lived with my dad. It’ll be an adjustment, that’s all.”
Is that really my only hesitation? I can’t be sure.
We worked together to make it our home. New dining room furniture and throw pillows for the living room changed things. New linens and bedding changed the look of the master bedroom and bathroom, and it started to feel more like ours, not his.
We were a couple. I loved him. I was in love with him, and I didn’t question his feelings for me.
March 2007
Five months after we met, we made a trip to Key West over spring break for a week with some friends. Our days were spent enjoying the sun and the sights; the nights were filled with partying and drinking too much. On the third morning when I woke up, Robbie was lying on his side, propped up on his elbow watching me.
“Hey, pretty girl.” He leaned to kiss me.
“Good morning,” I replied pulling him closer. “Oooh, we had a wild night.”
“Yes, we did,” he chuckled and held me tight. “Lulu, I’ve been thinking about something.”
The look on his face, the wide-eyed smile, left me feeling happy. I drew him to me for another kiss. “What’s that?”
“I couldn’t sleep, so while you were sleeping I Googled some stuff,” he replied.
He had my attention. “What were you looking for?”
“What it takes to get married here.” His smile lit up the entire room.
“Married?” I asked.
“Lulu. Louisa Nicole Welk.” He leaned close, pressing his lips to mine. “Will you marry me? I’m ready to make us official. I’m ready for you to be my wife. Are you ready?”
I was afraid if I left any room for question, both for him and myself, that I’d run or something.
“Yes,” I whispered. “I’m ready.”
I prayed that I was.
Two days later, we were standing on the beach in Key West at sunset committing our lives to each other. When I called my dad to tell him, he flew down to give me away. It was a lovely evening, the 27th of March. I’d shopped the day before and found an off-white dress that I loved. It was form fitting and the back was lace. I carried bright pink, yellow, and fuchsia orchids. I walked barefoot with my dad to Robbie.
He waited in khaki pants and a white shirt. His smile when he saw me warmed my heart. I knew then, that I was doing the right thing.
He took the hand my dad offered and whispered, “I love you, Lulu.”
With the sun as our background, we recited vows that Robbie ended by saying the most beautiful words.
“Lulu, I’ve seen this quote that says, ‘Paint the sky, and make it yours.’ The sun painted the most beautiful colors across the sky this evening as we said our vows. I want to make you mine.”
I felt my heart swell and tears run down my cheeks. “I love you, Robert David Muir.”
The event was followed by lots of liquor, laughter, and love.
“Louisa,” my dad said, and I saw him well up with tears. “I prayed this day would come, but now that it’s here I am happy for you, sad for myself.”
Robbie joined us and my dad turned to him. “I told you the first day I met you that this beautiful woman is my heart and soul. You better take care of her.”
“I plan to,” Robbie said, before Dad finished. “She’s my heart and soul, too.”
I woke in his arms in the middle of the night, feeling a bit hung over. I moved and Robbie scooted closer. “Hello, wife.”
“Hello, husband.”
“Lulu, you’ve made me happier than I could ever imagine. I promise you’ll feel the same way, every day, for the rest of our lives.”
October 2007
Happiness–bliss actually-lasted exactly six months. It had been one year since Robbie came into my life. He came in late from work and a flowery scent that wasn’t mine, wafted through the room. He came to kiss me. As he did, the smell grew stronger and I pushed him away.
“What in the hell?” he asked.
“What’s that smell?” I barked.
“Lulu, it’s not what you think at all.”
“Since you immediately have a response, I’m anxious to hear what it is you think I think,” I told him, blinking back tears.
“A meeting after work…A girl from the office…a hug…that’s all.” He spoke like they were fact one, fact two, and fact three.
“You disappoint me.” I turned away. “I’m not stupid.”
“I swear, Lulu. Nothing happened. NOTHING!”
I wanted to run away, go home to my dad, but I wasn’t going to run home. I put dinner on the table and he asked about my day. I wasn’t in the mood to talk to him, so he decided to elaborate on the meeting after work, to further explain and ease my doubts.
“We’re exploring a high-end line of clothing by Davis Brothers. Malayna has been working with them on a few exclusive items to drive business. They ar
e up and comers and we would be very lucky to get on board with them.”
Malayna…
She was the assistant manager at Lofton’s Lapels. She’d just come to Jacksonville from Hawaii. Malayna was a tall and thin, exotic looking woman with long dark hair. Plumeria, I smelled it again and the idea went through my thoughts.
Robbie was still talking about what the addition of this line of clothing could mean for Lofton’s.
I picked my dishes up and started to clean the pans I’d cooked with. Robbie came up behind me, putting his arms around me.
“I love you, Lulu.”
I didn’t respond. I wasn’t sure what to say, so nothing seemed best. I’m not a fighter.
“I’ll sleep in the other room,” I told him calmly, and walked away.
He grabbed my arms. “Lulu, believe me. I swear – nothing.”
“Good night, Robbie.”
Lying in bed, I was torn. In my heart, I’d been waiting for this. I prayed it wouldn’t happen, but I wasn’t surprised when it did. No matter what he said, I knew it was more than a hug. He’d said, in the beginning, that he wasn’t a one woman guy.
I fell asleep. Later, I woke and felt him beside me. He’d showered and the perfume smell was gone, but I wasn’t ready for him to be beside me.
“Lulu. I’m sorry you’re hurt, but I swear, nothing happened.”
“So you’ve said. I don’t want you in the same bed as me, right now. I have to think about the way I feel. Please leave.”
His hands on my hips, he slid down my body. No. Tonight it felt like he slithered. I didn’t like it. I tugged under his shoulders and pulled him back. “No.”
He wasn’t giving up. He lay beside me, his head on my chest. He traced circles on my breasts through the nightgown I wore.
“You’re wrong, Lulu. You’re the only one for me. I love you.” His declaration was so heartfelt that I caved.
“I love you, too. It’s just that the scent, the Plumeria scent, it’s so unique to Malayna. She’s sexy and beautiful…”
Lulu's Loves Page 13