He reached forward and grabbed me, pulling me in tightly to his chest. I nuzzled myself into that familiar cave in his shoulder and closed my eyes. Luke’s hand fell gently on the back of my head, and he stroked my hair with his thumb.
“Congratulations on your little niece or nephew,” I whispered.
“Our little niece or nephew, Jules,” he said quietly, “ours.”
Seven
“Hey there, baby girl,” Luke cradled his newborn niece just inches from his face, talking to her in a voice that was just a couple notes higher than his normal pitch, “I’m your Uncle Luke. Can you say Luke?”
“You know babies can’t talk fresh out of the womb?” Lonnie asked, because he didn’t seem certain that his son knew one way or the other.
Luke ignored his father and then he brushed noses with the newborn once again.
I sat on a couch just in the corner of the recovery room. Rebecca and the (still unnamed) baby had been moved to a new room just an hour or so earlier, and it was the first time all day that any of us had been allowed in to meet the newest member of our family. Rebecca lay in bed on the opposite side of the room, dozing off every few minutes just to wake herself up again. Grace and Lonnie hovered over Luke as he held the baby, neither of them eager to give up any time with their latest grandchild. Granted, they’d been passing the little gal back and forth for the better part of an hour. Molly had crawled up in the bed and rested next to her mother.
Derek plopped down on the couch next to me.
“Not a bad looking kid, huh?” he asked, and I didn’t have to turn to know that he was wearing that silly grin of his.
If I’d just had a kid that looked like that, I’d probably be wearing that grin too. Derek and Rebecca’s daughter had been born with a full head of dark hair and the bluest eyes I’d ever seen. Of course, I wasn’t really too surprised. Blue eyes seemed to be the Milton trademark.
“Super cute,” I said.
Derek dropped his head back on the couch and stared at the ceiling. It wasn’t long before his eyes fell heavy, and five minutes later, he was dead to the world—but his smile remained perfectly intact. I guessed staying up all night and pacing the floors of the maternity ward could seriously wear a guy out. He was beat, but he was happy.
Luke monopolized the baby for most of the afternoon while Rebecca and Derek rested. Lonnie and Grace took Molly home with promises that they’d return sometime after dinner. They wanted to give her a little extra love and attention, especially since she hadn’t gotten much since her baby sister was born.
The hospital was just at the edge of town, and Rebecca’s recovery room looked out on the highway. It was convenient for moments like this, times when a person just needed to stare out the window and watch as life carried on all around them. I’d given up my spot on the couch for Luke and Baby Milton, and I took to watching out the window for what felt like hours. I think I counted hundreds of cars as they passed, and with each one that drove by, I wondered where in the world they were heading, and why they were going so fast.
But that was my problem, wasn’t it? Maybe that’s why I noticed it so easily. I was in a rush, too. I wanted everything—now. I didn’t want to wait; I didn’t want to miss an opportunity. I wanted answers, all of the answers. While I was waiting on that next big thing and waiting to figure everything out, I was failing to recognize all of the wonderful things happening around me. I’d tuned out.
I wanted answers from Matt. I wanted the truth from Charlie. I wanted happiness for Bruno, clarity for Derek, and a future with Luke. And I didn’t want to wait. Was that normal? Maybe that’s what I should’ve taken the time to inquire about during my sobfest at the diner this morning. Maybe Bruno could’ve given me some insight as to why I was so damn needy all the time. Why couldn’t I just… be?
“What’s on your mind?” Luke asked, careful to keep his voice low so as not to wake Rebecca, Derek, or the sleeping baby in his arms.
I turned back to look at him as he held his niece.
“Do you think I’m impatient?” I took a few steps closer to the couch. I sat down next to Luke, tucked my feet up beneath me, and turned to stare at both him and the baby. “I mean, is that why you… did you buy the house just to appease me? Do you feel pressured to move forward? Did I do something to scare you into thinking you had to—”
“No, Jules,” he said quietly, “to be honest, I’m kinda glad you brought it up because I was concerned that maybe I’d scared you.”
Okay. So there was one answer… maybe. I hadn’t pressured Luke. So maybe I was right earlier. Maybe Luke had bought the house so we could finally be together, and he wouldn’t have to live another day alone. I could breathe a little easier knowing that.
“You thought you’d scared me?” I asked, blinking a few times too many. “How could you have done that?”
“I don’t know,” he swayed the baby gently. “You haven’t said anything, and I thought—”
“No,” I shrugged a shoulder, “don’t take it to heart. It seems like everything in the last twenty-four hours has just hit me all at once. I haven’t had time to process everything yet.”
Of course, Luke didn’t know the half of it. I hadn’t told him about Matt showing up or the things Derek and Charlie had said. I could understand why he’d taken my silence so personally.
“I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t apologize,” I moved closer, “it’s not your fault.” The last thing I wanted was for Luke to see me as ungrateful. “I don’t want you to think that I’m not happy about it.” I leaned over to rest my head on his shoulder. “I am happy. I’m just tired of questioning everything.”
Luke snuggled the baby closer as I turned into him.
“You ready to hold her yet? It’s strangely therapeutic.”
“No way,” I refused to open my eyes and ruin my moment of bliss. I didn’t want to move. It felt perfect to just be with him right there where we were. “You’re doing a great job. Why mess with success?”
“I wouldn’t say I’m doing a great job—”
“What are you talking about?” I asked. “You’re a natural.” I kept my eyes pressed shut and felt myself quickly drifting into a slumber. I hadn’t slept more than an hour in the past twenty-four. I was exhausted.
I was finally drifting… my biggest worries seemed so far away, so minute. Just having Luke’s shoulder pressed beneath my ear was about as comforting as being wrapped in his full embrace. My breathing steadied, and I felt myself drifting further and further, and then I felt Luke’s lips brush across my ear. The warmth of his breath curled my toes, and my heart rate suddenly picked up. Of course, leave it to Luke to find the most subtle way to turn me on and make me lose sleep. He wasn’t even kissing me or nibbling at my lobe, just simply brushing my skin with his lips. My nerves were flying into overdrive. I tried to ignore my raging hormones long enough to tell him to knock it off, but when I looked up he simply smiled and said, “I want to marry you, Julie Little.”
Suddenly, falling asleep was the last thing on my mind.
The door opened immediately and Charlie stuck his head in. “Hey!”
“Hey, come in,” I sat straighter as I looked between an expressionless Luke and my uncle Charlie.
Charlie walked in, followed by Bruno, and both men headed straight for Luke and the sleeping baby. He stood with his niece to give the men a better look at her, and I rose at his side.
After hearing them give their detailed descriptions as to how Baby Milton looked just like her father, Charlie decided to take the newborn from Luke. It should’ve been a joyous moment—from the arms of Uncle Luke to the arms of Pseudo-Grandpa Charlie. After all, Derek had practically become a son to Charlie over the past year, and that made my uncle a stand-in grandpa on the Milton side.
Again, it should’ve been a joyous moment, but it wasn’t. Luke passed his niece to Charlie, and just the sheer look of hatred that the two men shared in that moment made me want to shield the poor baby
’s eyes. I cringed; no newborn should be exposed to the kind of evil I swore I saw emanating from both men. Charlie watched Luke with sheer distaste, and Luke watched Charlie as if he’d never resented a person more than he resented my uncle.
Derek stirred on the couch, and his eyes flittered open. Charlie and Bruno both turned to congratulate him, so I took that as an opportunity to grab Luke’s arm and pull him from the room.
We stood in the hallway for a few long seconds, neither of us saying a single word. Luke looked back at the door, turned to me, and then smiled.
“You wanna grab some coffee?”
I peered at him through squinted eyes, trying to read his mind. Sadly, though, I didn’t have Bruno’s innate ability to pierce through the surface and get to the hard facts.
What was Luke’s deal? Five minutes ago he’d said he wanted to marry me, two minutes later he looked at Charlie as if he could murder him, and now he’s smiling as if nothing had happened?
He was doing that emotional-distance thing again. He was shutting out the hard stuff and putting on a smile, but that made it next to impossible to really know what he was feeling.
“Are you okay?” I reached forward to feel his forehead. It was very motherly, I know, but something made me think that maybe Luke was suffering from some violent illness.
“I’m fine,” he shook his head. “Where’d we land on coffee?”
“I’m not sure caffeine is really the answer,” I said, twisting my lips. “Maybe you should go home and get some rest. I mean, you were up really late last night with Molly, and it’s been a really long day. Some sleep might do you some good.”
“I’m not tired, Jules.”
“But you’re cranky.”
“I’m not cranky,” he smiled again. “What are you talking about?”
“What was that all about in there?” I glanced back at the door for only a second. “You looked like you were about to kill Charlie.”
“That was nothing,” he waved a hand. “We’re just at a standstill right now.”
“About what?” I wondered if Luke’s hate-filled glare at Charlie a few minutes earlier had everything to do with their argument the night before. “Does it have anything to do with what happened last night?”
“What happened last night?”
“At the Halloween party.”
“What happened at the Halloween party?” When I didn’t say anything, Luke dropped his shoulders. “Charlie and I have been negotiating over something for a while,” he said, shaking his head. “He’s just refusing to budge, that’s all.”
“Negotiating over what?”
“It’s nothing.”
“What won’t he budge on?”
“It’s nothing—”
“Me?” I asked. “Have you been negotiating over me?”
“God, no,” he brought his brows forward. I crossed my arms and pursed my lips; Luke would’ve been a complete idiot to think that I’d ever believe that lie. “Alright, fine. Yes. It’s about you.”
“Right,” I rolled my eyes, “is that what you were going to tell me last night before we left the house? You and Charlie are fighting over who gets to keep Julie?”
“Oh, Jules, don’t say it like that,” he said. “It’s not like that at all.”
“What’s it like, then, Luke?”
“Listen,” he snapped, “you’re the one who asked for this, not me. You’re the one who needed his approval. You think I enjoy having Charlie talk to me the way he does? You think I like hearing him repeat a million times over how much better you are without me?”
“But I thought—”
“Yeah, well, I lied,” he shrugged his shoulder. “What was I supposed to tell you? The truth?”
“Well—”
“I’m sorry,” he said, quietly. “I just… I didn’t know how to take him saying no. Honestly, I didn’t think he would say no. Still he said it, and I knew what the truth would do to your relationship with him; you’d be hurt and angry, and you’d lash out at him without thinking, Julie. And I wasn’t going to be the one who did that to your relationship with Charlie. No way.”
“He told you no?”
“I want to marry you, Julie,” he said, and he didn’t seem a bit shy about admitting that out loud for the second time in an hour. “I respect that Charlie’s opinion matters to you, but as long as he has any bearing on our future, our getting married… it’s never going to happen, kid.”
Eight
Luke hadn’t pulled a disappearing act in a long, long time. The days of him running from his fears and hiding away were such distant memories that I’d almost forgotten he’d ever done it in the first place. But he left the hospital without another word and didn’t look back at me once as he walked down the corridor, disappearing into the stairwell. That’d been hours ago, and I hadn’t heard from him.
He wouldn’t answer my calls.
My texts went unanswered for hours on end.
I sat in the waiting room, doing just what I was intended to do in that room: wait.
I kept thinking he’d call, text, or come back for me. He never did.
Had I messed up by wanting Charlie’s permission? I’d always known that my uncle had a problem with my relationship with Luke, but I’d never suspected for a second that he’d put a stop to something that would make both of us so happy. Of course, Charlie knew how much Luke respected him. Luke had always looked up to him, not just as his Chief, but as a father figure. Charlie played a huge role in Luke’s life when Luke really needed guidance the most. Charlie’s opinion probably mattered to Luke more than it mattered to me.
He craved Charlie’s approval.
He needed it.
I mean, he’d even admitted that much back in Piqua. He’d been completely honest about the fact that so much of his jealousy had everything to do with the fact that Charlie looked at Derek like the chosen one, and he looked at Luke as my biggest blind spot.
I’d really messed up asking him to seek Charlie’s blessing. Because now I realized that he wasn’t really doing it for me at all. All Luke wanted was for Charlie to accept him with open arms, to finally admit that he was good enough—not as a person, not as a cop, but as husband for his one and only niece.
Of course, I might’ve been in denial. I wasn’t too proud to admit that. Part of me knew just how much I wanted and needed my uncle to say that it was okay for me to love and marry the man of my dreams. See, I refused to be that girl who gave up everything for a guy, and I didn’t want to have to choose between my family and the man that held my heart. Luke knew me well enough to know that. So… crap. Maybe Luke really was doing this for me as much as he was doing it for himself. And I hated that. I didn’t want to be the reason he kept going back and seeking approval just to get clobbered repeatedly.
“What’s up, Pumpkin?” Charlie slid into the chair next to mine, and his innocent tone made me want to slap him square in the face. “Why are you sitting out here all alone? Where’d Luke go?”
“He left three hours ago,” I said, not the least bit surprised that he hadn’t noticed until then.
The room fell silent for a minute, and Charlie picked up on the hostile vibe.
“I’m guessing the two of you had a fight?”
“I’m sure you’d love that, wouldn’t you?”
“I’m sorry?”
“What exactly did you say to Luke last night?”
“Again, I’m sorry?”
“At the party,” I said, “you were arguing. We all heard you, and then Luke almost left without even telling me goodbye.”
“It was nothing, Julie, a simple disagreement.”
“Charlie,” I studied his guilty expression, “what did you say?”
“It’s nothing for you to get worked up over,” he said quietly and rationally. “I only told him what he needed to hear.”
“Which was?”
“That he’s out of his damn mind if he thinks I’m going to let the two of you get married.”
“He needs to recognize that you’re not in the same place as him,” he said, still keeping his cool. “He’s been through school; he has a job. He doesn’t have the same worries and responsibilities that you have. You’re still a baby. You’re still trying to get through college.”
“But I’m not a baby, Charlie,” I said, and my calmness surprised even me. At that point, I’d expected to lash out and start throwing punches. But I was past the point of being angry with him. I just wanted him to understand, once and for all, that I needed him to put his feelings toward Luke aside and get on my side. It was my life. Didn’t he see that? “Luke understands better than anyone that I need time, but we’re getting through that together. He’s been nothing but understanding, and supportive, and loving. I can’t believe, after everything I’ve been through with Luke, you would have the nerve to tell him that he can’t marry me.”
“Listen,” Charlie said, “I know you love him. And I know he loves you. He’s too damn persistent not to love you.” I smiled despite the conversation. “But he asked once last fall, again in December, then in March, once more in June, last week, and then again last night. He wanted to propose this weekend! I’m not letting that happen, Julie. No way. He can ask every day for the next five years and my answer’s never going to change. I know you’re an adult and you can do whatever you damn well please, Julie, but you’ll never have my blessing. You need more than him.”
I watched my uncle for a few long seconds, and I caught a hint of sadness cross his face. As soon as that small wave of sadness washed over him, it was gone again. The memory of last night hit me full-force, and I remembered the sadness lingering in Charlie’s voice as he asked me not to leave him alone.
Sure, Charlie hadn’t been Luke’s number one fan over the years, but was it possible that he was only using his you need more than him excuse to mask the real issue?
Just a Little Sequel Page 6