“You would have done it for him,” I said swallowing hard.
Shadows of night started to cover his face. He huffed and looked down toward his feet.
“I don’t know if I would have,” Blake said.
“Polly has always been there for Maddie and I. There were plenty of times she let Maddie spend the night just so she didn’t have to be in the same house as Freddie,” I said.
“Why did you marry that guy?” Blake asked. It looked like he wished he could take the words back the instant they’d left his lips.
I shook my head. “I was young and really stupid. We were just kids when we got married. He kept drinking. I got pregnant. Then I got scared. At that point, his disease had consumed him and our lives. It felt like I was stuck at the bottom of a pit and I didn’t know how to get out.”
“I wish I would have known,” Blake said. “I was right there. Just across the street.”
“There wasn’t anything you could have done,” I said looking over at him. “But I appreciate the thought. And besides, I’m sure you had your own problems to deal with. I should have been the one to deal with my own.”
“Life gets overwhelming at times,” Blake said.
I chuckled and turned back toward the window. “Tell me about it. What’s going on out there is the epitome of overwhelming.”
“Oh, it goes well beyond that,” Blake said. He hesitated for a long moment. “You know, that first night I came to your house?”
“Yeah?”
“It was the first time I really saw you,” Blake said. He looked down at our hands. “I think my heart stopped for a full second.”
My mouth dried. I couldn’t think of a single thing to say.
“I felt it… instantly,” Blake said.
“Felt what?”
“That thing I feel when I find someone,” Blake said. “I know it’s stupid since we’d never talked and didn’t even know anything about each other. But when I saw you, there is no doubt about what I felt.”
I drew in a breath. It was just as overwhelming inside the house as the world outside was. Maybe even more.
I felt like pulling my hand away but I wasn’t entirely sure why. The feel of his skin against mine was paralyzing.
“I’m sorry,” Blake said in a soft, raspy voice. “With how you felt about my brother, I shouldn’t have confessed that.”
“No, it’s fine,” I said.
I couldn’t deny that I felt something for him, too, no matter how hard I tried. Dax had been a distraction when things had been chaotic. Things with Dax had been easy.
Blake was intense. And the feelings that came along with it wasn’t something I wanted to feel given the circumstances.
The last thing I wanted or needed was another person to care deeply about. I couldn’t risk losing someone I cared about. It was bad enough worrying about Maddie every second of every day.
It wasn’t that I hadn’t cared about Dax, of course, I had but with Blake… it was different.
I’d been with Dax so I didn’t have to deal with intense feelings. He made me laugh. Deep feelings weren’t something I was good at. And probably had a lot to do with why I married Freddie.
I could feel Blake’s eyes on me. I turned and met his gaze.
Maybe denying my feelings was pointless. Even if I told myself I didn’t have them, I’d be just as devastated if something happened to him.
“Kit,” he said bringing his hand to my face. His thumb lightly stroked along the bottom of my jaw.
“Yes?” I whispered breathlessly.
“Can I kiss you?” Blake leaned closer.
I swallowed and shivered gently at his touch. “Please.”
The anticipation made the back of my neck hot. It felt like it took ages for his lips to brush against mine.
Blake’s lips were soft and gentle but then he rolled out of his chair, crouching before me. There was a hunger that filled his kiss, which sparked each and every nerve-ending in my body.
As he cupped my face, it felt like I was floating to my feet. I wasn’t entirely sure if everything was happening or if I was in an extremely blissful dream.
Together as one, we moved backward, stopping abruptly when my back hit the wall behind me. Blake pulled back and smiled.
“You can kiss me again,” I said with a small smile as I stared at his lips.
“I would love to,” Blake said.
I wrapped my arms around his neck as his lips danced with mine. The chill that had been stuck inside of my body seemed to be fading and was quickly being replaced with a blast of fiery heat.
His hands slid down my arms and he took each of my hands into his. I hadn’t wanted him to stop but he leaned back, his eyes still half-closed.
“I don’t want to but we should stop,” Blake said. His eyes darted toward the staircase.
Blake was absolutely right.
“I haven’t felt like this in ages,” Blake said.
“I’m not sure I’ve ever felt this.” The words softly escaped from between my lips.
“That’s a good thing, I hope,” Blake said.
“I’m not sure,” I said turning away from him.
He cocked his head to the side and the smile disappeared. “What do you mean?”
“It’s just that, I’m not sure I’m capable of giving you what you need.”
“What do I need?”
The warm air that had filled the room whooshed out and was replaced with the frigid, icy night-time air. It blasted me several steps away from Blake, which caused him to frown.
“A normal person,” I said. “I’m already constantly worried about Maddie and if I let myself, I would so easily fall for you. I don’t think my heart can take it.”
“But your heart can take not letting it happen?” Blake questioned. “For me, it’s already too late. I can’t turn back. I started falling for you long before tonight.”
“What if something happens to you?”
Blake snorted. “What if something happens to you?”
“I don’t think I could carry on,” I said. “It’s already been too much.”
“You would carry on because you’d need to for Maddie,” Blake said. “I have no doubt in my mind you’d manage.”
“I don’t want to have to manage,” I said.
Blake walked over and took my hand again. Warmness once again surrounded me as though it was cradling me in a safe, comfortable blanket.
“No one wants to but we’re all doing it right now. Every day we’re out here we are doing our best to manage everything,” Blake said giving me a quick smile. “I don’t think I can continue on without knowing what’s here between us.”
“It’s too much,” I said.
“This is how it’s supposed to feel,” he said with a burst of excitement. “It’s supposed to feel exciting and scary. And a bunch of other things too. But most of all, it’s like air, at least to me it is. It’s like this thing that you need so badly that you know deep down inside that you can’t live without it.”
I exhaled slowly. “It’s definitely scary.”
“Isn’t the thought of not exploring this scary?”
“Scary isn’t the word I’d use,” I said. “It’s almost like if I say we should do this, that the roof will collapse down on top of us.”
Blake blinked several times.
“Is that really outside of the realm of possibility? Look at the barn out back,” I said tossing my hand into the air. “The roof collapsed.”
“I guess the lumberjack must have been cursed too,” Blake teased and I frowned. “I’m kidding. You’re definitely not cursed. Maybe you were dealt a shitty hand but you can always fold and wait for the next hand to be dealt.”
“And what if it’s shitty again?”
Blake shrugged. “And what if it’s not? Maybe this time you’ll get the winning hand.”
“If I get the winning hand, then someone else will have a losing hand,” I said.
“OK, maybe I shouldn’t h
ave used cards as my example,” Blake said squeezing his brows together. “What’s a game everyone can win?”
“There isn’t one,” I said deadpan.
Blake waved my words away. “Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that—”
“We should give this a shot.”
“Yes,” he said pointing at me. “Exactly that. So,” he said tapping his foot impatiently, “you in?”
“I want to but—”
“No buts!”
Blake looked into my eyes. “Come on, Kit. Take a risk.”
“Every day is a risk,” I said.
“Then what’s one more?” Blake frowned. “I don’t think I should have to be talking you into this.”
I squeezed his hand. “I know I’m sorry and you’re not talking me into anything. It’s just I don’t understand all these feelings.”
All my life, it was like there was a shield around me but now, something was changing. There was a crack in the shield and it was starting to crumble down around me.
And I wasn’t entirely sure I liked how it felt. But there was one thing that Blake was right about… I wanted to find out what was there.
I looked down at my feet before meeting his gaze. A smile curled the corners of my lips.
“Fine,” I said.
“Fine, what?” Blake asked peering at me through the darkness.
I bit my lip. “Let’s see what this is.”
He pulled me into his arm and squeezed me. I smiled as I rested my head on his chest and squeezed him back.
Chapter Eleven
The light coming in through the downstairs window was bright enough though it didn’t have the yellowness of sunlight. Instead, it was a cold grayness coating the living room.
I swung my legs over the side of the couch as I shot a glance toward Blake at the window. He was slouched down in the chair with his head tilted to the side.
I stretched my arms over my head and sucked in a breath. Dillon was sitting at the dining room table watching me.
“I got sick of lying in bed,” he said holding up a package of cheese-filled crackers.
“You do know that’s not all for you, right?” I said with frustration slathered over my words.
Coffee. I so desperately needed coffee.
“Yeah, I know,” Dillon said. “I’m rationing. This is all I had so far today. There is plenty left. See for yourself.”
I got to my feet and walked over to the table. “We never really had what I would call plenty,” I said as I sifted through what remained inside the pillowcases. He seemed to be telling the truth, although I hadn’t counted everything that had been packed into the pillowcases.
I pulled out a small package of cashews and tore it open. It was quite tempting to pour the entire bag into my mouth but I manage to fight off the temptation. I hadn’t realized how hungry I’d been until the saltiness touched my tongue.
“Did you sleep well?” Dillon asked.
“Best I’ve slept in weeks,” I said. “Maybe months.”
I couldn’t tell him why. Hell, I wasn’t even sure why but I knew it had something to do with what had happened between Blake and me.
“The bed was like super comfortable,” Dillon said. “But even with the blankets on, it got chilly.”
“Make sure you take a flannel with us when we leave,” I said gesturing toward the chair. “And maybe a blanket too.”
“How exactly do you think we’re all going to fit inside that truck?” Dillon asked.
I looked away from him and shrugged. I didn’t want to see his judging eyes on me even though I could still feel them.
“Guess some will have to ride in the back,” I said.
Dillon chuckled for a brief second. “You know I’m not going to ride in the back, right?”
“Maybe we’ll have to take turns.”
“Oh, right,” Dillon said. “Like your boyfriend will allow you or your daughter to go in the back.”
I shook my head. “He’s not my boyfriend.”
“It shouldn’t be that far of a drive, should it?” Blake said from behind me. I jumped slightly, not having heard him approach. He wrapped his arm around my waist and placed a kiss on my cheek. “Good morning.”
“Morning,” I said stiffly.
“Sleep okay?” Blake whispered into my ear.
I nodded. “Did you?”
“Like a baby,” he said.
“In a chair, though?” I asked skeptically.
Blake grinned. “I could have slept upside down.”
“Since when do you sleep well anyway?” I asked.
“Since last night,” Blake said as Maddie descended the stairs.
She yawned as she eyed Blake and I. There were still dark circles under her eyes.
“About time you two hooked up,” Maddie said.
I swallowed hard and tried to step away from Blake but he tightened his grip. It was like he was marking his territory.
“We didn’t hook up,” I said defensively.
“I mean, like got together,” Maddie said.
I opened my mouth even though I wasn’t entirely sure what I was going to say. But I snapped it shut when Blake opened his.
“Thanks, Maddie,” Blake said squeezing me tighter. “Can I get you some breakfast?”
“I’m not six, Blake,” Maddie said. “I can dig out my own breakfast from the pillowcase.”
“Maddie!” I whispered sharply.
She held up her palm. “I’m sorry, Blake. I didn’t sleep well.”
“That’s not an excuse,” I scolded.
“I know,” Maddie said. “I wasn’t being rude because you guys are together, though. It’s seriously that I’m just exhausted. If we weren’t so close to Polly, I’d go back to bed.”
Blake gave Maddie a quick nod. “Don’t worry about it. All is forgiven.”
“When are we leaving?” Maddie asked biting into a granola bar.
“As soon as everyone is ready,” Blake said.
“Okay, but like what are the riding arrangements going to be like?” Dillon asked.
“I’m driving and you’ll be providing me the directions,” Blake said.
Dillon blinked several times. “I’m not sitting in the back. I’ll freeze to death.”
“I’ll ride in the back and you and Maddie can sit up front,” I said.
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” Blake said.
“Ha!” Dillon said twisting his neck to look at me. “Preference given to the girlfriend. I knew it!”
I glared at Dillon. “I’ll be fine in the back. We’ll bring blankets and I’ll wear a flannel.”
The room was silent. I could almost hear the internal grumble of annoyance inside Blake.
“Seriously, it’ll be fine,” I said throwing up my arms. “I’ve been in much worse places.”
“Ooh, please, tell us more,” Dillon said leaning forward.
I was starting to understand why his wife moved on without letting him know. Not that he had seemed to care all that much.
“Maybe another time,” I said. I started backing up toward the chair where I’d put the flannel jackets. “I’m going to get the blankets and pack up the back of the truck.”
“Want help?” Maddie asked.
“That’s not necessary. Eat… rest up,” I said.
It wasn’t long before the others joined me at the back of the truck. I was spreading out blankets, trying to make the back more comfortable with every blanket and pillow from the house I could find.
“We’re ready?” I asked.
“Yep,” Maddie said with a small hop.
“Do we have our supplies?” I asked.
Jay held up the pillowcases and tossed them into the back. “Got everything.”
“So, I get the truck after I deliver you to the base, right?” Dillon asked as he pointed at the truck.
“Yeah, sure,” Blake said.
“Because that was the deal, was it not?” Dillon asked.
I pressed
my lips together and sighed. “You get the truck or you leave with us… that was the deal.”
“Acceptable,” Dillon said. “Just wanted to double-check.”
I still had the medicine packets in my pocket and I was sure the bag was stuffed somewhere in one of the pillowcases. We were all set.
I had to stuff my hands into my pockets so that no one would see them shake. There wasn’t anything about the journey ahead that I wasn’t nervous about.
In a way, it was good that I was in the back because if I had been next to Dillon, I would have sensed his nerves and it would have only made things worse.
The ride in the back of the truck was much bumpier than I had anticipated. It hadn’t taken long for my butt to go numb.
Jay sat for the first fifteen minutes of the drive but they further we went the lower he slouched down in the back and into the blankets. I sat there with a flannel on and a blanket wrapped around my shoulders. The icy air stung my cheeks.
I buried my face in the blanket. The truck slowed and I looked up at the same moment Jay pulled himself into a seated position.
“What’s going on?” he asked.
“I’m not sure,” I said twisting at the waist to look at the road ahead. “Oh… oh, this isn’t good.”
The blankets fell from Jay as he yanked out his gun. “Oh shit.”
Chapter Twelve
There were two people running toward us, panic streaking their faces. They waved their arms as they shouted for help. The interesting thing was that they weren’t alone.
It was a man and a woman, each wearing a jumpsuit, just like the one Dillon wore. Neither of them were sick but they were being chased by a small group of those that were.
Their eyes were wide and slick with panic as they waved at us. Tears streaked the woman’s cheeks and both of them were desperately screaming for help.
Blake slowed the truck. I could hear Dillon inside the cab loudly complaining.
I tapped a knuckle on the back window and Maddie slid it open. Her jaw was tensed and her shoulders were bouncing rapidly with each breath.
“Why are we slowing?” I asked.
“It’ll just take a second to save them, mom,” Maddie said. “We can help them.”
Blake glanced at me over his shoulder. My guess was that he was slowing against his will. Maddie could be very persuasive. If she hadn’t been, we probably wouldn’t have even been on the road in the first place.
What Remains Series (Book 4): Evasion Page 6