by Kaye Draper
"We need a hacksaw why?" I asked, turning to Cloud.
She was zipping up her jeans. I tilted my head. I rarely saw her in anything but black leather. She gave me a look that said for me to shut it about the clothes. I grinned. "You look almost...normal, Cloud. Are you going to be okay?"
She tugged at the gray v-neck t-shirt she wore and lifted her nose a notch. My snooping on her past said she had been a chief's daughter. A princess, basically. I could totally see arrogant royalty here. She tossed the bag with the clothes my way. "Couples clothing, just for you," she simpered.
I glared at the bag, where another pair of jeans and a generic package of t-shirts like the one she wore awaited me. "You are a sadistic asshole," I told her without heat. "What is the hacksaw for?"
She heaved a sigh. "Your horns."
I stood, the incriminating saw clutched in my hands. "What?"
Cloud gestured at one of the rickety chairs by the table. "Sit down and let's get it over with. I got you a hat and some sunglasses too. It will be easier to move around and figure out a plan without you drawing attention to us with your...looks."
I scowled and refused to move. "My antlers?"
Okay, so she made perfect sense. But...I had kind of gotten attached to my new appendages.
And I thought she had too.
But no. They were a huge red flag telling all the world I was a monster. Unlike the other creatures, the ones who were born this way, regular humans could see me. The witches and hunters could just ask any passing stranger if they'd seen the girl with the fake horns and they'd find me immediately.
I swallowed. "Okay."
Cloud rolled her eyes when I still didn't move. Crossing to me, she took my arm and steered me into a chair, then plucked the saw from my hands. "They'll grow back. I think." She ran her slender fingers from the base of one horn up to the points, her voice a bit wistful. "Deer and goats grow them back."
I looked over my shoulder at her. "And now I'm a goat?"
She snorted and stopped fondling my horns. "No. Goats are far more friendly and easy-going. You're more like an enraged bull."
"Ha-fucking-ha."
She gripped my horn again, tilting my head a bit. I tried not to think about how she had done that when she kissed me. She brought the blade to the base of my antler. "This is probably going to...suck."
I don't think I'd ever heard her use that particular word before. But she was right.
It sucked. It was a slow process because my horns were rock-hard. It didn't hurt, exactly, but it felt damned weird. And all that sawing and tugging and noise made it feel like my head was going to vibrate right off my shoulders.
Finally, we both stared silently at the set of antlers that now resided on the table. Cloud set the saw down and massaged her hand. That had to have been hard work. I reached up a hand to touch the little nubs that were left protruding from my skull. "I feel naked."
She laughed, then her own warm hands joined mine, slipping through my hair and brushing it back to hide the nubs. "Did it hurt?"
I shook my head. Why would Cloud care if it hurt? She'd probably do it even if it was excruciating, if she thought it was necessary. "Not much."
She nodded. "Deer shed their antlers every winter," she mused. "Maybe it was almost time for yours to go." She paused. "Or maybe you wouldn't shed. I have no idea what I'm talking about."
I reached up and grabbed her hand, only then realizing that it was shaking. "Cloud, what--"
She turned away and pulled her hand out of mine. "Get dressed," she said in a flat voice. "It's pointless to cut parts off you if we aren't going to leave the room."
I narrowed my eyes at her. But in the end, I let her run away. Let her hide behind duty and fear and hunters. Because I knew the truth. That had upset her. Cloud hadn't liked the idea that she might be about to do some irreparable damage to me. I almost smiled.
Then I remembered this was Cloud we were talking about.
Touching my oddly light head again, I went to put on some clothes that didn't have holes, stains, and ash on them. I pretended not to notice how Cloud caressed my antlers again with one finger before she took them and stuffed them in the trashcan.
Chapter 3
I followed Cloud down the sidewalk, tucked into the folds of the wool jacket she had purchased for me. The cuffs and hood were lined with silky fake fur, and I nuzzled it with my face, loving the feel of it. I didn't feel the cold the way I normally did, but it was still bitter as fuck outside. In upper Michigan, seasonal transitions were a joke. Halloween had passed while I struggled with the wendigo madness. And now the air smelled of snow while a few sad, saggy pumpkins remained on the porches of the houses we passed.
It felt surreal. I had been confined to my forest and my cabin for months, afraid I would kill or infect any human I encountered. And now I was sauntering down the sidewalk in full view, while the dreary gray day gave up and slid into night. I should have felt relief. Like I was almost normal again. But instead, I felt out of place. Uncomfortable. I didn't belong here, in the human world.
We slunk along the sidewalk to the back of an old, crumbling brick building nestled near the train tracks. I think it had once been a warehouse attached to the old granary next door. Neither building was used this time of year, but I still felt jumpy. Cloud had hidden her motorcycle here to avoid notice. If any of her hunter friends saw the sleek Indian bike, they wouldn't have to work too hard to deduce that Cloud was still in town.
"Come on, scardey cat," Cloud taunted from the shadows. "I can't believe you are afraid of the dark."
I shook my head, the bobble of my hair still feeling foreign. I might have doubted Cloud's sadness over removing my horns. But when I went into the bathroom earlier and chopped off my hair, I thought she was going to weep. My new shoulder-length bob would help with my disguise. And, the cynical part of me whispered, if we were going to be living in the woods without benefit of hot showers, I had to get rid of the hip-length tangle of waves and curls.
"It's not the dark that scares me," I whispered to the empty space. "It's the feeling of being enclosed like this. Shut in somewhere foreign."
There was a crunch of gravel on cement as Cloud paced closer, wheeling the bike. "You are a strange creature," she snarked. "You've been hiding in your little cabin for the last couple of years."
I frowned and held the side door open, glad it was wide enough we didn't have to open up one of the loud metal doors by the loading bays. "Not the same thing, and you know it. That was a... nest. This is an empty cave."
She stopped and swung her leg over the bike, then glanced back at me. "Coming?"
I gave her an exaggerated leer. "You say that to all the girls when you get your bike out?"
She leaned forward to thump her head on the shiny tank. "Great Spirit, it never ends."
I laughed as I slipped onto the bike behind her, ignoring the way I wanted to sink into her, wrapping one arm loosely around her waist rather than squeezing the way I wanted to. If I stretched a bit, I could latch onto the point between her neck and shoulder with ease, hold her from behind while I chewed. I let my head thump between her shoulder blades. "Let's go."
Cloud started the bike and we took off like a sleek shadow, humming a low rumble, but not waking the neighborhood the way some souped up bikes would. Cloud was a shadow, not a spotlight.
We headed out of town, toward Harrison, where my useless parent lived with his duende girlfriend. All our belongings were strapped to the bike. Most of them fit in Cloud's one ratty duffel bag.
My life just kept shrinking. Once upon a time, I'd had a big two-story house in a subdivision, then a tiny cabin in the woods. I'd lost my husband and child, quit my stupid office job, and shrunk to my pre-wendigo self. I had thought myself a little husk of a person clinging to a speck of space at the edge of civilization. But what did that make me now? No house. No clothes. No belongings at all. No family, not even my ghoul.
Fear stabbed through me again at the thou
ght of Tommy. Someone had killed him and then taken his body somewhere where I couldn't reach him, couldn't put him back together. He felt more distant with each passing hour, and I didn't know if there was a time limit on how long he could go before I raised him...what if he was starting to rot?
I moved with Cloud instinctively as she hugged corners and slid around curves. The wind whipped my hair back and reached its cold fingers into my collar. I pressed closer to the hunter, feeling ridiculously... bereft. Alone.
I thought I had felt alone before, but I was wrong.
When we finally stopped, Cloud pushed her bike under some bushes in my dad's front yard. Then we made our way to his senior condo. I was afraid they wouldn't be here. Flo had been the one to show me first-hand what the war that was coming toward us looked like. She had agreed to keep Ed safe. I let out my held breath when I realized that my dad's blue Buick was still in the driveway. And there was a light on in the house, even though it was the middle of the night.
I shared a glance with Cloud and she shrugged. At this point it could mean anything.
Cloud opened the door without knocking and I slipped inside behind her. We had come to Harrison to talk to a watcher—one of the few people who could see the monsters, but didn't have the skills or the inclination to be a hunter. Cloud had employed a couple of them to keep an eye on my dad when I was being hunted by an angry wendigo. We thought the watchers might have some idea what the hunters were up to or where they had taken Tommy...and why.
But I had insisted on checking on Ed first. Damn my soft heart.
There were voices coming from the kitchen, but they stopped when we stepped through the door. A ripple of magic around me told me we had just been sensed by whatever ward Flo had set up on the door.
I could taste fear in the air. And delicious human tears. A kitchen chair scraped across the floor as we approached. I tensed, ready to defend myself, even as I realized why the human smell seemed so familiar. Lattes and rainbows. Hippie and cupcake. Suzie ran out of the kitchen and pounded down the hall to fling herself into my arms.
"Tess!" Her voice was rough, and she let out a little sob against my neck as she tried to squeeze the life out of me.
I reflexively patted her back. "Suzie?"
Cloud stood there frowning at us as if someone had just punched her in the stomach.
Flo and Dad peeped at us from the kitchen doorway and I shuffled down the hall, bringing the sobbing human leach with me. What was my ex-library intern doing at my dad's house in the middle of the night?
"What the hell, Ed?" I asked my dad when we got to the kitchen. If something stupid was going on, it was probably his fault. At least he didn't smell like a drunk hobo tonight. Flo must still be keeping him sober.
My dad shrugged at me and the sorrowful expression on his face melted a bit as his blue eyes, the spitting image of mine, stared at me in relief. "She just showed up," he said helplessly, gesturing at the bundle of sobbing girl.
I put my hands on Suzie's shoulders and pried her off me, leaning back to look into her reddened eyes. "Suzie. What the hell is wrong with you?"
She hiccupped. "I couldn't find Tommy," she said between halting breaths. "I went to his house and those people...his family, they told me to go away. That Tommy wasn't coming back here. That I was just...just...a human weakling who couldn't do anything to help."
I rolled my eyes. "They weren't wrong." I was more surprised to hear that Tommy's remaining family was still in town.
"But why are you here, Suzie?" I shook her a little to get her to snap out of it.
She glared at me. "Because I can't find Tommy!"
Cloud snorted and went to rummage around in the fridge. "Tess, are you collecting idiots now?"
I flipped her off, then went back to my conversation with Suzie. "Snap the fuck out of this girlie wailing and tell me what the hell you know and how you got here."
The girl opened and closed her mouth a few times, then finally got a hold of herself. "I'm sorry. I was just so surprised to see you. I thought maybe something happened to you too." She slumped, and I steered her to sit in one of the kitchen chairs.
Flo handed me a steaming mug of coffee and I grinned at her. "I love you, you know that right?"
The wrinkles in her nut-brown skin deepened as she suppressed her own smile, and her blueberry eyes twinkled. "Well, it's just good sense to keep the wendigo fed."
My dad patted Suzie on the shoulder and gave her his charming old man smile. "Tell her what you were telling us, Honey. Tess and Cloud will make it right."
I glanced at Cloud. This was her fault. She was the one who was all chummy with my dad. I certainly never gave him the impression that I was a good guy.
"I could feel him die," Suzie whispered. "Right here." She tapped the place right below her sternum. The place where my power always linked to Tommy.
"Like drums?" I asked, surprised. I thought the energy pull was just between Tommy and his maker—me.
She shook her head, looking puzzled. "Drums? No. Just...like a little stab of anxiety. Like something was wrong. And I just knew it was to do with Tommy. He called me right before. Said he was coming to me. That I had to leave. That you were being hunted." She twisted her fingers together. "I packed my stuff and waited. He didn't come. He didn't answer my calls."
I swallowed hard around a sharp, clawing urge to howl. There was a deep connection between me and Tommy, and I had been avoiding looking down into the gaping hole that his disappearance had opened up. "But why are you here, Suzie?"
She shrugged. "Well, he said you were being hunted. It would have been stupid to go looking for you. I checked at his house first, just in case. His stupid, snobby parents seemed to know. They sounded like they knew he wasn't coming back...like ever. And they didn't seem to care."
I nodded. "They probably don't. To them, Tommy was already dead. And... they just lost their daughter." I glanced at Cloud. She stared right back at me as if daring me to make the accusation that was on my tongue.
"And then?" I prompted Suzie.
She smiled up at me, proud of herself. "I stalked the author Edward Vere. I knew he was your dad. And Tommy had told me about Flo," she winced a little. "Sorry if that was supposed to be a secret."
I rolled my eyes. "Of course your nerdy obsession with my dad's old history books turns out to be a useful thing. Why not?"
They all ignored my sarcasm.
"What happened to Tommy," Suzie pleaded, gripping my forearm. "Please, Tess. I..." her voice dropped to a whisper. "I love him. Is he really...gone forever?"
I heaved a sigh. I was starting to get a headache. I had enough of my own shit to deal with without adding an emotional human to the mix. "I don't know," I said, cruelly. "Someone killed him, but I can't find his body. They took it somewhere." I rubbed my chest with my free hand. "And I can't sense him like usual. Either he's too far away, or it's been too long...."
She stood up and got in my face. "No! You are not giving up on him. You are going to find him!" She flung out her arm and pointed toward the door. "You find him right fucking now, Tess. Why are you sitting here? If it was you, he'd be out there turning the world upside down to find you!"
I growled at her and Cloud inserted herself, pushing Suzie away, her lithe form pressed back against me, grounding me. "Suzie," she said coldly. "Please remember you and Ed are the only truly human people in this room."
I couldn't stop growling.
Only a couple of days ago, I'd still been struggling not to snap, starving and all but lost to the wendigo madness. I'd been betrayed by my new lover, my house had been burned down, someone had killed my ghoul, and I was being hunted by deranged magic users. One good meal and one day's sleep were not enough to give me good control over the ravenous, gluttonous, angry beast inside me.
I wrapped my hands around Cloud's biceps, my claws piercing fabric and flesh. The sweet smell of her magic-infused hunter blood rose in the air. My fangs hurt.
Suzie's eyes went wid
e as saucers. "Tess, I'm sorry. I--"
"Leave the room," Cloud's smoky alto voice was calm and even. "Tess and I need to chat for a minute."
Flo huffed and slid around the counter, snaking out a hand to grab each of the humans and pull them out of the room. Then out of the house entirely. I fought to stay still as I heard the front door click shut. I wanted to run. To chase. To hear their screams. I was shaking with the force of the wendigo's anger and pain.
But I was still in control.
Cloud tried to pull away and I growled again, not letting her go.
"Tess," she said softly. "Wendigo! I'm not going anywhere. But that fucking hurts, so let go."
"Can't," I mumbled, leaning in to lick the side of her neck. "Hungry."
So hungry. Always hungry.
If I just gave in and let myself feast, it would all go away. All the pain. All the responsibilities. All the fear....
I sank my fangs into her shoulder, biting deep, letting blood well up. She hissed as I tore away, swallowing a hunk of flesh. I would eat her. Every last bit. Devour her. Make her part of my very being. All mine.
Something that couldn't leave me or be taken away.
She wrenched away, but didn't run. She simply spun to face me, a hand going to my chest to keep me from lunging. "Tess! Goddamn it, get a grip. You can feed from me, okay? I'm not going to leave you alone like this. But you have to keep the damage to a minimum. We need to be able to fight." I took a step closer, my chest rumbling.
"Now she's purring," Cloud whispered to herself, rolling her eyes.
"I don't purr," I growled, licking my lips.
She arched a dark eyebrow at me. "Then what do you call that?" She stroked my chest, between my breasts, over my heart. Where I was thrumming like a happy cat.
"Shut the fuck up," I said, my voice getting steadier.
She smirked. "You purr when you get excited."
I gripped her wrist and went to pull it away. But I froze when she bent her head and kissed me. Okay, I purred.