by Shayla Black
Since Roman had joined his fiancée and the rest of the women, who were now peppering Mad with questions he likely wouldn’t answer, they were mostly alone. Elizabeth stared at him for a moment. “I don’t belong here. I don’t even understand what’s going on, but I’ll spin this any way you want me to. I need some time to think, and I definitely need my computer.”
He bet she did. “You’re not here to work.”
“Then why am I here?”
“Because someone’s planning my assassination and they might use you to get to me. I’ve changed my mind about keeping you out of my problems. It hasn’t worked, so we’re trying something new. You’ll stay close to the group, close to me. Settle in. It’s going to be a long weekend.”
He turned and walked away because if he remained beside her for a second longer, he would show her exactly how close to her he wanted to be.
Zack glanced down. His glass was empty. He was going to need a lot more liquor to survive the next few days.
* * * *
Mad hung back. He knew the guys all wanted him to talk, but he needed Freddy to round out the explanation. Freddy knew every last detail. He could answer each and every question, as well as corroborate the story Mad knew they’d all see as insane. But Freddy was also notoriously paranoid and convinced someone was out to get him. How much would he actually tell a roomful of virtual strangers?
A problem for later. Right now, Mad had to somehow hold everyone off until Freddy arrived. Thomas was looking for him now…but Freddy could be notoriously slippery. All Mad could do was hope the retrieval mission didn’t take too long. Or that Freddy didn’t give Thomas too much hell. Until then, everyone would simply have to wait and be patient. It wasn’t right or fair to put off telling the whole story, but this way everything would make more sense to everyone. Hopefully then, everyone would be on the same page.
Except maybe Liz. Mad wasn’t entirely sure which side she was on yet.
He stepped outside and dragged in a long breath. The rest of the guys were still inside, but somehow he felt a disconnect from them he hadn’t expected. He’d genuinely believed that once he was standing beside his best friends again that he would find some acceptance, even peace. A connection to his old life. Maybe he’d been naïve, but he honestly hadn’t expected their anger.
What happened next would make or break him. He had to explain everything he’d discovered, help them understand why he’d disappeared. Most of all, he had to convince them that every move he’d made had been for the sake of his family. To keep all of them safe.
But that was later. Right now, he still had to prepare for the last shock of the night. Everly. Since she was Gabe’s wife now, she would be here soon. She would have a lot of questions, his sister. Mad would answer them and start being her big brother. If she let him.
He didn’t know when he’d see Sara. God, soon, he hoped. He’d missed her so fucking much. He wanted her back. Wanted to start their life together. Wanted to be there for his baby’s birth. Wanted to make Sara his wife.
A door closed behind him. Mad tensed. Gabe.
“I need to ask you a few questions. Not about what you and Freddy cooked up while you were gone. Personal stuff.”
Mad had known this was coming. While he’d hoped Gabe had forgotten some of their personal drama those last few days before his “death,” he should have remembered that Gabe had the memory of an elephant.
He kept his stare fixed on the trees swaying gently as sunset approached. It was more peaceful than seeing the resentment on his best friend’s face. “Shoot.”
Gabe moved in beside him. “Why did you have your Deep Throat tell Everly she couldn’t trust me?”
That was an easy one.
Now Mad turned to face the man who had once been his best friend. “Because I overheard everything you said about her that first day you walked into Crawford. So I decided to protect my sister.”
“From me?” Gabe’s eyes widened. “What are you talking about?”
Mad had been so enraged when he’d heard Gabe casually discussing how he intended to “deal” with Everly Parker. “The way you talked to Connor about her in my office, like she was trash you needed to take out... It was bad enough that you assumed she was my mistress and intended to fire her. But when I heard that you’d met her at the funeral and used her for stress relief, then nearly let her go? Yeah, I was pissed. You acted like an asshole and you didn’t deserve her.”
“You had the office bugged.”
He didn’t feel any remorse about that. “I had to keep up with things. And it wasn’t a bug, per se. Connor would have found that. There’s a backdoor into the desktop in my office. I can control pretty much everything from there, including the microphones and camera. You and my sister have sex on my desk way too often.”
Okay, he did regret parts of his scheme now—small ones. He should have shut his surveillance down when he’d realized Gabe and his sister were happy together. But he’d kept it open, desperate for those brief times when he heard anything at all about Sara.
“You really want to talk about sisters?” Gabe asked, his jaw tightening.
Oh, Mad was so ready for this fight. “Yeah. Yeah, I do. I want to talk about the fact that I begged you to believe me that day at Cipriani’s and you wouldn’t. I thought out of everyone who knew me that you would…I don’t know…have a little faith. I told you I loved Sara.”
“Then you left her.”
“When had I ever said I loved a woman before Sara? When? Did I ever once confide to you that I was in love? Not fucking once, Gabe. So you should have known something was wrong. I promised you I would take care of her. I can be a massive asshole, but never once in all our years as friends, have I promised you something I didn’t make good on.”
Gabe pointed a finger in his chest. “It doesn’t matter what you said. It’s what you did. You walked out on her. You knew she was pregnant and you left her—cruelly. You dumped her over text and went out the same night with a fucking supermodel. What was I supposed to think?”
“What about Zack? He’s done roughly the same thing. If you hadn’t known about this giant conspiracy trying to bring him down, what would you have thought of Zack snubbing Liz?” Mad challenged.
Gabe paused. The guilt that crossed his face kicked Mad in the gut, even though he knew exactly what his friend’s answer would be. Hell, he’d known it before he’d asked the question.
“It’s not the same.”
“Because Zack is Captain America, and I’m an overprivileged asshole who treats all women like crap.” Mad backed away. “That was all I needed to know, buddy.”
“Damn it, Mad. She’s my sister.”
“And she’s the love of my life. I hope and pray she understands better than you.”
She would, right? Sara knew him, after all. When this mess was behind them, he would stand in front of her and finally tell her everything. He hoped he’d see understanding and forgiveness in her eyes. And god, he hoped all this was settled before their baby was born.
But after his less than warm welcome tonight, Mad was beginning to worry…
“What is it you want me to understand?” Gabe gnashed his teeth. “You told her you would pay for her abortion. You texted it.”
Mad had hated every word he’d tapped out—and himself—that night. But he’d also known it was necessary to protect Sara. “Another thing that should have tipped you off since, again, I promised I would take care of her. Do you remember what we did two nights before I left Sara? Remember running into those old Yale friends at that bar in Hell’s Kitchen, then sitting in the park afterward and talking about how fucking sad they seemed?”
“Yeah. I do,” Gabe replied, his tone softer now. “I remember joking that if I ever spent hours talking about baby crap you should shoot me.”
“What did I say, Gabe?”
“You said it wouldn’t be so bad. You said maybe we were the sad ones because neither of us had been smart enough to find a woman
who would put up with us. You said maybe it was time to grow up.” Gabe sent him a speculative stare. “You already knew about the baby.”
“I’d known for a few days,” he admitted. “When Sara told me, it was the best night of my life. It took everything I had not to tell you about it while we sat in that park, but Sara wanted to wait to announce our good news until she’d followed up with the doctor. And she wanted to think about how to break it to you. I already knew I was going to marry her, but my proposal had to be special. Man, I had a plan. Everything was set for the night of the Met gala… And the Russians fucked it up.”
Gabe ran a hand through his sandy-colored hair. “I didn’t think about that night we talked in the park. I didn’t think about anything except the fact you destroyed my sister.”
“I nearly destroyed myself trying to save her, you, our baby—everyone. Don’t think I don’t understand how much she’s been hurting.” Mad sighed, trying to hold himself together. “But I get your anger. When I heard you talking about Everly that day in my office, I saw red. I’m just glad you two worked it out. Congratulations, man.”
Mad turned away. He needed to decompress. He needed sleep—preferably in an actual bed. It would be the first time in months. Maybe everything would seem brighter in the morning.
Gabe grabbed his arm. “Mad, stop. I’m sorry. I was wrong. I should have talked to you that day we had lunch instead of yelling. And I should have had a little faith in you.” He held a hand out. “I am glad you’re alive. I’m happy to have you back.”
Mad stared at the hand. It could be a trick. “So you can kill me?”
“So you can be a father to your kid. So I’m not left alone with all these women.” Gabe tried to laugh, then sobered. “So I can maybe find a way to be your brother again.”
Mad reached out and shook his hand. Repairing all his relationships wasn’t going to be as easy as he’d assumed, but he was determined to get his family back, especially Sara. No one in the world knew or loved him like she did.
Gabe pulled him in for a hug, slapping his back. “I really am glad you’re back. I didn’t like living in a world without you, man.”
Mad had missed them all, too. He hated the fact that he hadn’t been there when so many of them had gotten their shit together and committed to the loves of their life. Sure, he’d watched from afar, but he’d missed out on so much. “I hated that I missed your wedding. Tell me Connor and Dax gave you a proper bachelor party.”
Gabe was smiling when he stepped back. “Not even one stripper.”
The horror. “Maybe we should have an all-guys post-wedding bash.”
A chuckle huffed from Gabe’s throat. “Nope. I’ve been happily married and stripper free for a while now. It’s a good life, man.”
Yes, Mad wanted that life, too—with Sara. “I’d like mine to be all about us. Just the six of us hanging out with the wives and kids.”
“Hey, I’ll make that happen if you can actually convince my sister to forgive you. But I’m telling you now, it’s not going to be easy.”
Sara was the most forgiving soul he’d ever met. Once he told her why he’d left her and the lengths he’d gone to in order to save her, there was a chance the two of them could pick up where they had left off, right? Maybe…
“I’ll go and see her soon. I’ll explain and grovel like nobody’s business. I swear.” The minute it was safe, Mad vowed he would be on her doorstep, hat in hand, ready to love her for the rest of his life.
“You know we’re bringing in all the women, right?”
Mad froze. “What do you mean?”
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a car pull into the drive, but he couldn’t think about that at the moment. He was too busy trying to decipher Gabe’s words into sense. “But not Sara. She’s at the house in the Hamptons.”
Gabe shook his head. “She came down to DC this morning. The women decided to spend some time together while Zack, the rest of the guys, and I hung out here. When you showed up, Zack told the Secret Service to bring them all in. They’ll be here any minute. I think I should talk to Sara first, lessen the shock.”
But it was too late because that limo door was opening and she stepped out. Mad stopped breathing. God, she was beautiful. The sun was setting and the golden light reflected off her hair, enhancing the riot of colors. He’d always been fascinated by how lovely her hair looked, how silky it felt wrapped around his fingers when they shared pleasure. The color wasn’t precisely brown or blonde, but a combination, coupled with an alluring hint of red that sparkled in the light.
She turned toward Everly, and he saw the curve of her rounding stomach, the proof that their child grew inside her. Mad felt rooted. His heart threatened to stop. He loved her so fucking much, and he was going to love that kid every bit as much.
If she let him.
Oh, god. She was here. Now. He didn’t have a speech planned. He didn’t know what to say. He only knew he was terrified that she didn’t love him anymore.
“Mad, get inside before she sees you,” Gabe urged. “Sara can’t find out like this.”
He was right, but then Everly caught sight of him. She blinked like he might be a mirage. Then she raised her arm and pointed his way. His name formed on her lips.
Sara turned. Her eyes widened. She gaped in shock. She paled. Then she was falling.
Mad raced to reach her, praying like hell he hadn’t fucked everything up.
Chapter Four
Sara was having the sweetest dream. She was back in New York, dressed and looking her best for the Met gala with Mad. This time, the night was so special and she wasn’t left waiting. He even showed up early.
I couldn’t wait. I had to see you. I don’t like spending the night away from you.
She turned to him and smiled. Then maybe you should move in.
His lips curled up, part triumph, part mischief—all Mad. Done. I won’t ever go home again. He paused then, growing serious. You are my home. You and this short stack of pancakes.
You are not calling our child a short stack.
He touched her belly. I’ll call that baby ours.
Sara melted. She didn’t want to wake up. This dream was the sweetest of her regularly recurring ones. She rotated between slumberous fantasies where she and Mad were still in love and nightmares where she was on the plane with him as it was going down. Either way, when she woke up she had to face the fact that he hadn’t shown up that night. He’d texted her his cruel kiss off. And every morning when she opened her eyes, she had to remember that he was dead and he would never know their baby, much less give their little one nicknames that would horrify her as a teenager. Mad was gone, and Sara had finally accepted that he had never loved her.
But even though it wasn’t real, she always wished she could linger in the lovely paradise of sleep for more stolen moments with him.
“I’ll take care of her,” a familiar voice she couldn’t quite place said.
“Holland said she’s fine,” her brother put in. “She’s just had a shock, but she didn’t hit the ground, thanks to Everly. I’m wondering if we should have a doctor look at her, just in case.”
“Absolutely,” said that male voice that niggled at her brain. “Or maybe we should medevac her.”
Oh, god, that was not happening.
Sara sat up, her vision still blurred and her head swimming. She must have fainted, but now she remembered why.
She’d seen a ghost.
After climbing from the limo, the sun had been at her back, and she would have sworn in that halo of blinding light that Maddox stood mere feet away. Sara felt sheepish now. It was one thing to have dreams about him at night, but if she was carrying those over to her days? That nonsense had to stop. “I’m sorry to make a fuss. I’m okay. I thought I saw—”
She turned and focused. And he was there. Not a mirage, not a hallucination. Maddox Crawford in the flesh.
Sara stared, blinked. “Oh my god.”
He rushed to her side,
kneeling beside the bed and taking her hands in his. “Baby, are you okay? I saw you falling out there and I couldn’t reach you in time. I was so worried. We should get you to a hospital. I know Holland has some medic training, but she’s not an obstetrician.”
She closed her eyes. “I must still be dreaming.”
“You’re not.” He curled his hands around hers. “I’m really here.”
He looked like Mad, had the same piercing green eyes and dark hair as Mad. He even talked like Mad. She now recognized that smooth and deep voice. It had an almost intimate quality when he spoke to her. But this man couldn’t be Mad. His hair was longer, curling over his ears. His hands weren’t smooth and perfectly manicured, but rather rough and callused and stronger. His gaze held no hint of his usual devil-may-care spirit. Instead it glinted with terrible knowledge and an even more excruciating yearning.
“Say something. I know this must be a shock, but I’m here. I’m alive. And I can explain everything.”
What was there to explain? Before they’d gotten together, Sara had been convinced he was a spoiled rich playboy who took nothing seriously. That’s how the rest of the world had seen him. But when he’d flirted and smiled and touched her, when he’d whispered and kissed her and made love to her, she’d seen a whole different Mad.
No, she’d seen a façade. That soft, loving Maddox Crawford was a chimera. The one who’d texted her his unfeeling sayonara? That was the real Mad.
She put a hand on her belly and forced herself to sit up. She was in a bedroom apparently. She’d never been to Camp David before, but it was tastefully decorated, like everything surrounding the president. The room was fairly large, too. It needed to be since every single person in her life was currently here and crowding around her. “I’m confused.”
Holland moved in, eyes soft with understanding. “Sweetie, you fainted.”