From da Big Island

by Bill Hutchinson

  Ruth cracked a smile, “We still may have legal issues. And there are other big islands around the world. We need to better identify our Big Island of Hawaii from other big islands.

  “When we came up with da logo for From the Big Apple, we put the name of da show inside a line drawing of an apple. What if we did something similar, such as encapsulating da letters FBI inside an outline of the island? That way we have something unique, thereby reducing any confusion.”

  “What a wonderful idea, Ruth.” Danny exclaimed, nodding in agreement, continued, “Have you given much thought as to what you would like to do for your first installment?”

  “I was thinking of doing something on Waipio Valley.”

  “I don’t think that would be a good idea. It’s been overdone and on da tourist channel.”

  “Yes, but not my angle.”

  Ruth wore a missionary dress and a red hibiscus behind her left ear looking directly into the television camera, “Many tourists and locals alike attempt to drive the arduous journey down the Waipio Valley access road and just don’t quite make it; plunging two to three-hundred feet to the valley floor.” She turned, looked up, and pointed towards a couple of rusted car carcasses resting in the trees. After a moment, “Okay, let’s get the cutaway shots of da cars.”

  Mickey, the cameraman, swung the video camera upwards pointing it towards the cars in trees.

  “Mickey,” Danny added “don’t forget to include the ones where the trees have grown around and through the cars.” Mickey took the camera and walked into the brush to get cutaway shots of the rusted cars in the trees.

  Danny walked up to Ruth, “This is a great idea of yours, Ruth. It’s unique.”

  “Thank you, Danny. I thought everyone knows about da cars, but no one talks about them.”

  “Yeah, I remember six month ago, about the same time you arrived on the island, when a couple of drunk tourist kids, thought they would drive their rental car down here to party on da beach. They almost made it. Da only thing that saved them from being killed was da tree. They were so drunk they didn’t feel a thing. When they awoke the next morning, they realized how lucky they were.”

  “Do you know where their car is?”

  Danny looked up in the trees searching for the car. “It’s here somewhere.” Danny continued searching the trees. “I really can’t remember exactly where it is. You can tell which one it is because the car isn’t as rusted as da others and it was a convertible.”

  ✽✽✽

  Ruth, Ben, and Auntie were all drinking red punch and eating brownies watching Ruth’s television set on which was Ruth ending her Waipio car segment. “That’s it from the Waipio Valley graveyard of cars in the trees. Until next time, this is Ruth Newcomb, From da Big Island. Aaa-looo-haaa!” The credits rolled by.

  “Dat gut!” Auntie exclaimed as she looked at Ruth.

  “It funny, too,” Ben added.

  Ruth is beaming. “Mahalo!”

  “Der you go. You become mo like Hawaiian.” Auntie told Ruth as she took a bite from a brownie.

  “Auntie, the punch and brownies are fabulous!” Ruth exclaimed, “Whatever do you put in them?”

  “Coconut water make da punch.” Auntie responded.

  “Da brownies are from an old Hawaiian family recipe.” Ben added.

  Time Flies

  Ruth drove down Alii Drive towards the Royal Kona Hotel, which looked like a stylized volcano across Kailua Bay. She was excited because she was picking up her first visitor since she moved to the island. She drove into the front entrance of the hotel, where Gloria La Fong was waiting for her. She stopped and got out.

  “Gloria, Aaa-looo-haa!” Ruth said as they embraced.

  “Aloha! You look fantastic. I can’t wait to hear about what is going on.”

  “I’ll tell you all about it, Gloria. I thought we’d have lunch at a little restaurant I know that has the best seafood on the island. The only thing is, it doesn’t have a waterfront view. Would that be okay?”

  “You know the island best, Ruth. You always go to the best places.”

  ✽✽✽

  They entered the Big Island Grill, which looked like a converted fast food restaurant. On a wall inside was a poster displaying a plethora of fish with both their Hawaiian and mainland names and next to it a chalk board written with Fresh Fish Today – Opah and Hapu'upu'u. Both Ruth and Gloria were not sure what Hapu'upu'u or Opah were, they studied the chart finding that Hapu'upu'u was grouper and Opah was moonfish.

  “Ruth, have you been to a hukilau yet?”

  “Not yet. I think it’s a wonderful idea to shoot a real hukilau from throwing out the hukilau nets, to the beach festival and dance that follows.”

  “I’m sure you could integrate the hukilau song in the segment.”

  “Gloria, you are filled with ideas.”

  ✽✽✽

  Seated and eating their lunch, “Ruth, you’ve been avoiding telling me how are you are adjusting. How are you really doing?”

  “Gloria, remember how a wreck I was after Zach’s death?” Gloria nodded as Ruth continued. “I thought his death was hard on me, but worse, was the way I lost Mrs. Wiggins to that damned pig. What a way for her to go. It still makes me mad when I think about it. They are becoming a major issue here on the island. We did a segment on From da Big Island about the pig issue. It was well received, but there is nothing we can do to reduce the population explosion. Ben has been making extra money dispatching pigs.”

  “Dispatching? I don’t understand.” Gloria inquired.

  “Killing and selling them for luau’s or donating them to families in need.”

  “What a great thing for him to do, taking care of those in need. Do the pigs taste any different than what we get in the states?”

  “Gloria, Hawaii is a state. It’s best to say mainland. However, to answer your question, I haven’t had any yet. I understand there is nothing better in the world than a pig cooked the Hawaiian way in an Imu, a Hawaiian underground oven, for the entire day. I have one by the shed and hope to use it.”

  “You still are avoiding answering my question on how are you doing.”

  “Gloria, I prefer to spend our time together not as your patient, but as a friend. In that respect, things are going great, I am keeping busy with From da Big Island, writing my memoirs, and helping a local high school senior with his reading.”

  ✽✽✽

  Ruth and Danny were seated together at his office desk reviewing legal papers. “Ruth, I think I have everything in order. Da two of us are da executive producers. Partial funding comes from da visitors bureau and our head offices in New York.”

  “Danny, did they put it in writing?”

  “Ruth, it’s right here.” Danny took the contract and handed it to Ruth with his finger resting on the middle of the page. “See? From da Big Island.”

  Ruth looked at the contract. “I was afraid with da show going into syndication New York would want to change da name to From the Big Island.”

  “They loved it and agreed to partner with da visitors bureau to develop an advertising campaign. Da logo will go on T-shirts, coffee mugs, and the like. They’re going all out.” Ruth smiled as Danny continued, “Since you did a great job conveying so much information about da Big Island in so little time, everyone agreed to keep to the original short format. Da visitors bureau can utilize our segments as public service announcements throughout the world.”

  “That is wonderful news, Danny. We’ve come a long way in a short time. Our segments have been very popular from our first one with cars in da trees segment to da one we did on da sports fishers throwing chum into the water drawing da sharks that were attacking da swimmers.”

  “And, we cannot forget da pigs!” Danny added, “The way you set everyone up with da pig issue. Dat scene where da pigs were eating da ears of corn, then cutting to da pig at da luau with da ears of corn strategically placed around da pig was precious.” They both laughed.

  “Da
nny, I was so busy filming that pig segment, I didn’t have a chance to enjoy the event. One of these days, I will.”

  ✽✽✽

  Joe and Eileen Baccio decided to make a layover in the Hawaiian Islands on their return trip from Southeast Asia. They visited the Martin’s numerous times over the years, know their neighbors, and loved the Big Island. It was Joe’s idea to invite both Ruth and Auntie to the Mauna Kea Hotel Clam Bake Saturday evening.

  The four of them sat beachside, where an elaborate buffet feast of fresh island lobster, fish, sushi, sashimi, prime rib, and other wonderful food.

  Auntie spoke perfect English, as she generally did when she was alone with the Martin’s, Baccio’s, and Ruth. Auntie brought Joe up to date with the advancements she was making with her medicinal marijuana project and how she was developing a much more powerful strain that she knew would help the millions in need.

  “What we need to see happen,” Auntie continued, “is changes in the law to make medicinal marijuana available nationwide. It’s a shame to totally exclude something that can cure ailments, such as certain cancers, allow AIDS and HIV patients to eat, where they couldn’t before. I think we’re heading in the right direction.”

  “I couldn’t agree with you more.” Joe concurred. “Hopefully, one day the government will approve the medicinal use and people won’t have to go underground to get their medications. Thank you for what you are doing and keep up the good work.”

  “To change the subject,” Eileen said, “Joe and I are considering buying vacation property here.”

  “Buy here? It’s so far from New York.” Ruth replied.

  “The Caribbean is just too crowded for us,” Eileen continued, “as is Oahu. We prefer the more open and relaxed atmosphere of the Big Island. We don’t like the rainforest side of the island where you both live. We prefer the dry side and are leaning towards Waikoloa Beach Resort area which has everything we need. Do you have any suggestions?”

  “I haven’t been here long enough to know what would work or not work for you, Joe.” Ruth responded.

  “Waikoloa Beach would be perfect for the both of you.” Auntie add. “Like you said, it has everything you need and it doesn’t get the rain like we do.”

  “When are you thinking on buying?” Ruth asked.

  “Within the year.” Joe responded.

  “Ruth,.” Eileen interjected. “I’ve noticed this is the first time we’ve been out and we haven’t been interrupted with by your fans. I thought the show was very popular here.”

  “Eileen, the show is very popular. We’re in the islands and people are different here. They respect my privacy. Every once in a while, some fans, generally from the mainland, will recognize and approach me for an autograph. What’s nice is it doesn’t happen all that frequently.”

  “We were watching TV last night and saw your segment on Queen Lili someone.”

  “Oh, you’re talking about Queen Liliuokalani, the last Hawaiian monarch who was overthrown by the narrow-minded missionaries.”

  “It was a great informative segment.”

  “Eileen and I,” Joe interrupted, “liked that she wanted to tax prostitution, the lottery, and opium because people were going to do it anyway and it was a revenue stream. I hope our government will also change its mind and tax medicinal marijuana like they did with the lottery. Only time will tell.”

  ✽✽✽

  Ruth, Auntie, Ben, and William are all harvesting keiki’s in Auntie’s greenhouse. Their buckets were filled with buds. Auntie looked up at Ruth, “You do plenny good, Luka.”

  “Luka, what’s that?”

  William could not resist, “Dat Hawaiian for Ruth.”

  Ruth then remembered the Luka Newcomb sign Ben had at the airport when she arrived.

  The door to the greenhouse opened as two police officers nonchalantly entered greeting everyone with “Aaa-loooo-haa!” Ruth’s eyes widened as she looked towards Auntie.

  “Aaa-looo-haaa!” Auntie, Ben, and William responded in unison.

  Ruth was relieved, smiled, and added, “Aaa-loooo-haa!”

  “Oh, Mrs. Newcomb,” one of the officers addressed Ruth, “we want to congratulate you on your Emmy nomination.”

  “What are you talking about?” Ruth responded.

  “It came over our radio that From da Big Island was nominated for an Emmy.”

  Everyone looked at Ruth and clapped.

  “It was nominated for an Emmy!” Ruth exclaimed in astonishment. She had never thought From da Big Island was being considered for an Emmy.

  “You go New York?” Auntie asked.

  William looked at Ruth asking, “New York! Can I go with you?”

  “With me, where?” Ruth responded.

  “To New York!” William exclaimed.

  “Dat’s were da Emmy’s are, aren’t they?” Auntie added.

  Ruth nodded, “Yes, they are in New York City.” After a brief pause, Ruth continued, “I really don’t want to return to New York.”

  “It is important, isn’t it?” Ben asked.

  “Oh, Luka, you must go.” Auntie pleaded, “Dis is important to you, to us, and most of all, da Big Island.”

  Da Big Apple

  Even though it was evening in New York City, the bright lights of the city illuminated the entrance of the Times Square Marriott Marquis Hotel as though it was still daylight. A black limo pulled into the valet area. The valet opened the limo door while a porter took the luggage out of the trunk. Danny stepped out, who turned around reached his hand into the limo and helped Ruth and Auntie out, all wore Aloha wear. Ruth, Auntie, and Danny stood and looked into the opened limo door. Moments later, Ruth leaned into the limo and said, “It’s oh-kay. Come.”

  William stuck his head out the door looked at the valet and then focused his attention on the people briskly walking by “There are too many people!” William exclaimed, “Ben say he doesn’t like all da people in New York. Dat’s why he wouldn’t come.”

  Ruth attempted to reassure William telling him, “Remember, Holden Caulfield in Catcher in the Rye. It’s okay!”

  Slowly William stepped out of the limo. A few people stared at the foursome next to the limo which was quite common in New York City, but what was uncommon was they wore Aloha wear.

  “Are you from the tropics?” a porter inquired as he continued to place the luggage on the baggage cart.

  “Yes, we’re from Hawaii.” Ruth responded before addressing her entourage. “We’ve had a very long flight, let’s check in and get some rest before we explore the city.”

  “Can we see Times Square? Can we? Can we now, Mrs. Newcomb?”

  “We’ll explore tomorrow.”

  “Please?” William pleaded.

  Auntie came to Williams’ defense, “Da boy need to see Time Square at night. It unforgettable.”

  Ruth thought for a moment, then nodded, “Auntie’s right. We’ll go now.” Ruth then addressed the porter, “Take these to check-in. We’ll be back in a few minutes.” The porter nodded. Ruth turned to the group, “Let’s go, Times Square is right around the corner.” William, Auntie, and Danny followed Ruth out of the Marquis entrance area into Times Square which was busy with cars and people rushing about. The lights of Times Square illuminated the groups awed faces.

  “Here it is. This is Time Square.”

  William looked around the square, then up. “Da buildings are so tall; higher than the waterfall in Waipio.”

  “Remember the ball dropping in Times Square on New Year’s eve?” Ruth asked the group; all nodded. “It happens over there.” Ruth pointed towards One Times Square building.

  People walked briskly by the foursome as they absorbed the Times Square commotion. Danny shook his head, “Too many people!”

  Auntie added, “Dey too busy to enjoy life. Too, wikiwiki!”

  “I don’t think I like it here.” William proclaimed.

  “William, you just arrived. We are in the busiest area of New York. Central Park is not far fro
m here and it isn’t anything like this.” Ruth exclaimed, in an attempt to quell William’s first impression of New York.

  “I’m tired. Can we go to our room?” William responded.

  ✽✽✽

  The bellhop held the door for Ruth, Auntie, William, and Danny as they entered the enormous Presidential Suite.

  Danny exclaimed, “I’ve never seen a hotel suite this big before.”

  “Dis is bigger than my house.” William added.

  Auntie spotted the grand piano. “Oh, a piano!”

  “Where do I sleep? Da sofa?” Asked William. Ruth went to another door and opened it. “William, this is your room.”

  “I get my own room?”

  “This is the presidential suite. We each have our own room.”

  ✽✽✽

  The sunlight streamed through the trees on the Tavern on the Green patio dining area where Ruth wearing a muumuu and Jim, Ruth’s former television station owner, sat eating lunch.

  “Ruth, the Emmy’s are this evening. No matter what the outcome is, I would like to offer you a contract.”

  “Jim, I don’t want to accept your contract. Danny and I have a perfect one with Al.”

  “The one I am offering you is better.”

  “Jim, how do you know what I have with Al?”

  “It’s better. Trust me. The contract is for a show that is much greater than From the Big Apple or From da Big Island ever could be.” Jim retorted as he took a sip from his Manhattan. “It’s an international travelogue show. I think you’ll like the idea. You would go to different places throughout the country and the world showing us the out of the way places. It’s never been done before.”

  “It’s an interesting idea, and I like my semiretired life in Hawaii.”

  “You like New York, too, don’t you?”

  Ruth gave a slight but noticeable nod.

  “And you like Hawaii, don’t you?”

  “Of course I do, Jim.”

  “It’s the best of both worlds, Ruth. You can still live in Hawaii, come here and do the show.”

  “The eleven hour flights are too much for me, Jim.”