by K. C. Wells
Will regarded him in silence for a moment, before sighing. “How about I make us some hot chocolate? We can talk while it cools, but it might help us to get some sleep.” His gaze returned to the screen. “This is making my head ache.”
“That doesn’t surprise me.” Blake’s head was in a mess too, and he’d had far less time to make sense of all the stuff Will had been wading through. He could see why it had affected Will so strongly. Who wants to think they’re acting out of purely selfish reasons, and perhaps agreeing to a procedure out of fear and prejudice?
Will got up from the chair and left the room. Blake half-listened to the familiar sounds as his husband went about the task of heating milk in the microwave. On an impulse, he shifted into the chair Will had vacated, and typed a few words into the browser. He read down the list of posts and then clicked on a link. He was so immersed in what he read that he jumped when Will placed a mug in front of him.
“Sorry. You were miles away.” Will stood next to Blake’s chair, his mug in his hands.
Blake gestured to the monitor. “Did you read this article? It was one of the links Dr. Michaels suggested.”
Will peered at the screen. “Uh uh. I didn’t get that far. I got side-tracked by the whole Deaf community thing.”
“Then take a seat, because you need to hear this.” He scanned the first paragraph. “It says here that most kids are implanted at the age of twelve months, although they can have the procedure sooner. That wasn’t what caught my attention, however. It also says here that babies start to hear in the womb when they’re around twenty-four weeks along. So for a twelve month old child who’s being implanted, they are actually sixty-eight weeks behind their normal hearing peers in terms of being able to identify sounds.” He peered at the screen and read aloud from it. “‘Now, that might not sound like a lot, but keep in mind the cerebrum of the brain is responsible for our development of everything, from our ability to learn, to creating the capacity to recall memories.’”
“And there you go, emphasizing speech.”
Blake shook his head. “Listen to this. ‘In the first three years of life, a child’s brain will contain nearly twice as many synapses’—that’s when—”
“I know what synapses are,” Will said quickly. “Neural connections forming, right?” When Blake stared at him, Will shrugged. “I had to research it for a book. Keep talking.” He took a sip of chocolate and winced.
“Where was I? Oh yes, the brain will contain nearly twice as many synapses as they will once they achieve adulthood. So where DNA provides the blueprint for the brain, a child’s environment and experience make up the construction. Now, there’s any number of events or circumstances in a child’s life that will affect the number of synapses formed. But the loss of a natural sense? The loss of a child’s ability to connect to their environment through sound?” Blake shook his head. “Can you imagine the number of synapses that a Deaf child will not form compared to a hearing child, simply because they lack the ability to form a bond with a parent by the sound of their voice?”
Will stilled, his gaze locked on Blake. “You’re saying that by not giving Nathan the opportunity to hear us, to form a bond with us, we’re actually harming his development?”
Blake nodded slowly. “And now I see why Dr. Michaels didn’t want us to leave it too long before we proceed with implants.”
Will hadn’t broken eye contact. “You’re also saying we need to agree to the implants, aren’t you?”
“Yes, babe. And I’m not saying this to be selfish. I’m thinking of Nathan, about how we need to take care of his needs. Because Dr. Michaels was right. We need to act in his best interests.”
“I was thinking of Nathan,” Will said quietly, placing his mug on the desk.
Blake clasped both his hands. “I know that.” He was so tired, it was unreal. “Look, now it not the time for this discussion. How about we try to get some sleep? We can talk more about this in the morning, after I’ve dropped Sophie off at the nursery.”
Will nodded. “You’re right. My brain is addled with all this.” He rose to his feet. “Come on. Switch everything off and let’s finish the hot chocolate in bed.”
Blake shut down the PC and turned off the monitor. He followed Will from the room, and they crept upstairs as silently as possible.
Maybe sleep will make things clearer.
Because right then, ‘things’ were as clear as mud.
* * * * * *
Will stirred in Blake’s arms, his head on Blake’s chest as he listened to the comforting beat of his husband’s heart. “You know, what you said just now, downstairs? It wasn’t quite true.”
Blake’s hand trailed softly up and down his back. “Hmm? Which part? And I thought we were switching off our brains too.”
It wasn’t that easy. “You said we’d decided on the implants and sign language.” That wasn’t how Will remembered it. He recalled Blake saying it, and him being too lost in his own grief to respond.
Grief.
Will shuddered. “They were right, weren’t they, on that forum? We’re grieving. We got the news about Nathan and we’re grieving. We heard that one word, Deaf, and we only saw the negative.”
“That’s natural,” Blake murmured. “There’s always a grieving process when any challenge presents itself. It takes time to digest and come to grips with it all. And of course we perceived that news as being negative.”
“Yeah, but are they right? Did we see it that way because we don’t know anyone who’s deaf? Because we know so little about Deafness that we automatically see it in a negative light?”
Blake shifted in the bed and seconds later, Will blinked in the warm light of the bedside lamp. Blake lay on his side, his head propped up in his hand. “I understand where you’re coming from. Those comments opened your eyes, and mine too, if I’m honest.” His face tightened. “Our whole world just changed, and right now we’re struggling to deal with a ton of different emotions.” He took a deep breath. “And for the record, yeah, I’m grieving too.”
Fuck. Like Will didn’t know that with every fibre of his being. The problem was, words wouldn’t take away the pain they were both obviously dealing with.
Will pushed down on the ache inside him and laid his hand on Blake’s chest. “There were positive things on that site too. There was this one guy who’s deaf. He said that being deaf isn’t the end of everything. He’s never heard a word in his life, but he’s been to university, got his master’s… ” He recalled something else the commentator had written. “He said every deaf child is unique.”
Blake nodded. “Exactly. And while I’m beginning to understand these parents who don’t see Deafness as being something negative, I’m looking at our situation, our son. I’m looking deep within myself to work out what I really want to do here, which way I want us to go.” His gaze met Will’s. “Which way we want us to go. Because we need to be together on this. This is no one’s decision but ours.” Blake reached out and cupped Will’s cheek, and Will leaned into the touch. “So forget for a minute everything you’ve read, all those posts that have your mind in turmoil, and tell me. What do you want for Nathan?”
Will swallowed, aware of the fluttery feeling in his chest, the way his heartbeat sped up.
“You said before that you wanted Nathan to know what we sound like. You wanted him to be able to communicate by signs and speech. You also said that made you selfish.” Will’s eyes glistened in the lamp light. “Then I guess that makes me selfish, because God, I want that too.” He shifted closer, needing to feel Blake’s arms around him. “Is it wrong that we want to do this now, when he’s too young to make the decision for himself?”
Blake sighed. “That’s the us being selfish part. It could be argued that we’re doing this for us, not Nathan. But I want him to have every chance of success in the future, and to me, that means being able to communicate as fully as possible.” He stroked down Will’s arm. “I think those people in the forum were right: being
deaf is not the end of the world. That being said, our world is built with people who hear in mind. I don’t see it as selfish if you make it possible for your child to function as well as possible in that hearing world. In fact, I can almost make a case for the opposite argument.”
Will frowned. “Go on.”
“You could argue that it’s selfish to refuse your child the implant just because you feel to do so would be making deafness into something negative. In fact, not embracing all the opportunities available feels almost akin to refusing blood transfusions or vaccinations against measles, and stuff like that.”
Will widened his eyes. “Oh wow. I didn’t think of it in those terms. And that makes sense to me.”
He pulled Will against his body. “Then we’re agreed? We tell Dr. Michaels to go ahead and get the ball rolling for implantation?”
Will nodded against his chest, his arm across Blake’s waist. “Yes. And then we find classes in sign language.” He sighed. “They say you’re never too old to learn a new skill. I guess we’re about to find out if that’s true.”
“Yes, it won’t be easy, and yes, it will require a significant investment of time and energy, but think about this,” Blake said quietly, his lips moving against Will’s hair. “We learn sign language, and then we teach Nathan and Sophie. That sounds like a great way to develop a nurturing, positive relationship with our children.”
When he looked at it that way, the tightness around Will’s heart eased off a little.
Just a little.
Chapter Thirteen
April 1st
“Come in,” Ed called out when he heard the soft rap on his office door. He beamed when Colin stuck his head around it. “Hey! What are you doin’ ’ere? You’re supposed to be on yer way to bonny Scotland.” They’d said goodbye that morning before Ed had left for work, not without some sadness on Ed’s part. Since they’d become a couple, there had been very few occasions when they’d spent time apart. The prospect of two nights without Colin—not to mention the whole of Saturday—was not a welcome one.
Not that he’d share that information with Colin.
He grinned at Colin. “I thought I’d got rid of you. I was lookin’ forward to ’avin’ some time on me tod.” He winked.
Colin came into the office, smiling. “Mm-hmm. Is that why I spied a pile of rugby DVDs near the TV? And the flyer from that new Indian takeaway that you tried to hide in the tea towel drawer?”
Ed gaped. “Gawd, you don’t miss a bleedin’ trick, do ya?” He got up from his chair and went over to Colin, who’d dropped his bag to the floor. “Is that why you’re visiting me at work? To let me know you’ve ’ad cameras installed all over the ’ouse?”
Colin gave a mock gasp. “Don’t tell me—you saw the brochure from the surveillance company.” He chuckled. “Can you blame me for wanting another chance to see you before I catch my flight?”
“I’m not gonna complain about that,” Ed said quietly, before stepping closer to take Colin in his arms. “Another chance to kiss this gorgeous mouth? Bring it on.” He loved the way that Colin didn’t hesitate for a second before bringing their lips together in a deep kiss. When they parted, Ed shook his head. “You know I’m gonna miss ya, don’tcha?”
Colin nodded. “No more than I’ll miss you, but it’s only two nights. It’ll be Sunday before you know it.” He glanced around him. “It’s not often I get to see you with your CEO hat on.”
Ed released him and stepped back. “It’s a nice office, innit? It used to be Blake’s.” He gazed at his surroundings and snickered. “If these walls could talk. Blimey.”
“What do you mean?”
Ed grinned. “There’s a rumour around ’ere that Blake an’ Will nearly got caught in ’ere once with their trousers down.” He nodded toward the desk. “I bet that saw some action.”
Colin gaped. “They fucked in here?”
Ed gave a slow nod. “An’ the way some of these guys tell it, that was just par for the course with those two.” He tut-tutted. “Dirty little fuckers.”
“Oh, I don’t know.” Colin waggled his eyebrows. “I can totally see why they would. The thrill of someone walking in on them… ”
Ed snorted. “That’s what locks are for.”
Colin stared at him. “And of course, you always lock your door when I call you during my lunch hour so we can—”
“Hey!” Ed covered Colin’s mouth with his hand. “Walls may not ’ave ears, but PAs certainly do, an’ mine is right through that door.” Slowly he removed his hand.
“So it’s okay for her to hear you talking about Will and Blake fucking over the desk, but not about you and I having”—he dropped his voice to a whisper, “phone sex?” Colin’s eyes gleamed.
Ed laughed. “You’re a wicked man, you know that?” His breathing quickened when Colin leisurely slid a hand down his side before trailing his fingers over Ed’s hip and eventually his crotch. “And where do you think you’re going?”
Colin grinned and leaned closer to kiss Ed’s neck just below his ear. “Lock the doors, Ed. Both of them.”
“What the ’ell are you playin’ at?” Stupid question really, when Colin was stroking the outline of his burgeoning erection.
“Indulge me,” Colin said softly. “I’m going to be away from you for two nights. Let me go away with something to remember when I’m up in cold Scotland in a strange bed.”
It was Ed’s turn to gape. “I don’t give a shit what Will an’ Blake did in ’ere, we are not fuckin’.” His gaze flickered toward his outer door. “I wouldn’t put it past that lot to ’ave their ear’oles pressed up against the door.”
Colin opened his eyes wide. “Who’s talking about fucking? All I want to do is get my mouth on you.” He licked his lips. “Suck you. Lick you. Hear that gasp I fucking love when I make you come.” Ed’s cock jerked beneath his hand and Colin locked gazes with him. “Ed? Lock. The. Doors.”
Like Ed was going to turn down the chance to get Colin’s mouth on his dick.
He moved swiftly to turn the lock on the connecting door between Mandy’s office and his, and then moved even quicker to lock the outer door. When he turned around, Colin was standing by the leather couch below the huge window. “Do I close the blinds?” he asked with an innocent air.
“Too bloody right you do,” Ed growled. “I’m not ’avin’ every Tom, Dick ‘n’ Arry feasting their beady little eyes on us gettin’ off.” He walked across the room, his fingers busily employed in unfastening the button on his pants. The thought of Colin sucking him off in the office already had him hard as a rock.
Colin chuckled. “You don’t believe in wasting time, do you?” He pulled the vertical blinds across the expanse of glass.
Ed shrugged. “I figured you ’ad a plane to catch. No time to dick around.” He snorted. “Pun intended.” He stood in front of Colin, his pants undone, and cupped his bulge. “Now, where were we?”
Colin brushed Ed’s hand aside and pressed his palm against his zipper. “Oh, I do like it when you’re eager.” He gripped Ed’s length and Ed couldn’t repress the little shiver of anticipation that trickled through him. Colin slid his fingers under the soft cotton of Ed’s briefs and when they came into contact with skin, Ed’s shivers multiplied.
Colin brought his lips to Ed’s ear. “I love that about you. All the times we’ve done this, and yet your body lights up every time, like it’s the first time.” He wrapped his fingers around the solid length and Ed bucked into his hand. “You like my hand on your cock.”
“No shit, Sherlock,” Ed ground out, placing his hands on Colin’s shoulders. “I’d like it even better if it was yer mouth on me cock.” He applied pressure, steadily pushing Colin until he was kneeling before him. “Take it out.” The words tumbled from his lips in a hoarse whisper.
Colin slowly lowered the zipper, grasped his pants and briefs firmly, and pulled them down past Ed’s hips in a sharp tug. Ed’s dick sprang up, swollen and dark. Colin grasped it firmly ar
ound the base and brought the head to his lips, parting them to let him in.
Ed was too far gone to take this slowly. He thrust, filling Colin’s mouth with his cock that throbbed to feel Colin’s tongue wrap around it. Ed cupped the back of Colin’s head with both hands and rocked back and forth, going deep. “Fuck, yeah, that’s it. Use your tongue. Love it when you push your tongue into me slit.”
Colin groaned around his length and sucked harder, Ed’s dick sliding fluidly between his lips as he thrust deeper, hips rolling as he gained momentum. Ed couldn’t take his eyes off Colin’s face, the way his lips tightened and relaxed around his shaft, the way his cheeks hollowed, and Holy Mother of God, the way Colin gazed up at him, the usually pale blue eyes darker, his pupils huge.
“Gonna go balls deep,” he growled, watching Colin’s face as he always did for a sign to let rip. Colin gave him the merest nod and that was it. Ed thrust all the way in until he felt the head of his dick bump against the back of Colin’s throat. “Oh, Gawd, yeah.” His cock dripped with saliva as he slid it in and out, holding Colin’s head steady while he fucked his face. When Colin pulled away, Ed wanted to howl in frustration, until Colin pushed him back onto the couch, Ed dropping like a stone, his pants around his knees.
Colin shoved his clothing down until it was bunched around his ankles, then he grabbed Ed’s knees and spread them wide. Ed’s cock pointed up to the ceiling, wet and hard. Colin leaned over and took it deep, his head bobbing faster and faster.
Oh shit. Ed felt his orgasm blossoming inside him, swelling, sending out tendrils of pleasure that he knew were about to overwhelm him, and he couldn’t keep a lid on it. His heart hammered and his body jolted as he filled Colin’s mouth with his come, groaning to hear the sweet sounds his lover made as he swallowed every drop. Ed stroked Colin’s hair, holding on tight when Colin licked a path from his balls to his slit.