Too scared to reach for him, I pressed my arm against his and shivered from the immediate warmth that seeped through my clothes. He glanced down, his eyes brimming with questions, and I managed a small, quivering smile. I wanted to apologize, but my tongue was paralyzed.
Against all odds, Noel understood. His expression softened into something almost tender, and he shifted the minutest millimeter in my direction. No one would have noticed the subtle change, but the added pressure on my arm was impossible to ignore. I took it as forgiveness, and my smile widened.
With a blush, I faced forward as the throng shuffled forward, and Noel chuckled under his breath as he looped his arm through mine. Once outside, we escaped the claustrophobic crowd, and I examined our arms hooked together at the elbows. Like Jai holding my hand, it flooded me with an overwhelming happiness I wasn’t used to experiencing.
Logically, I knew I shouldn’t be encouraging such strange affections. Boys didn’t touch like this. They didn’t hold hands or hook arms. But I couldn’t withdraw either. I’d been robbed of innocent affection my whole life, denied platonic touch. And now that I’d felt it, I didn’t know if I could go without.
Lighter than air, I floated to my next class. If not for Noel anchoring me to Earth, I would have drifted into the stratosphere. But he didn’t seem to mind keeping me grounded, offering just enough slack to let me fly.
Chapter Fourteen
The next two weeks brought unforeseen changes to my daily routine. I still attended classes, studied in the library most evenings, and ate dinner with Bethany on Mondays—but not Thursdays. But the way I experienced my day-to-day was vastly different; I could barely recognize my life.
My study sessions in the library were no longer spent alone. More often than not, Danny joined me at my table. Our friendship built slowly since neither of us were particularly outgoing. Shyness was something we had in common, at least. Some afternoons, Danny had to work so I would head to the library alone. On those days, Noel or Jai usually took Danny’s empty seat in the library and watched me study. Every once in a while, they offered assistance, but I had a feeling my college courses bored them.
After I finished in the library, Jai or Noel would whisk me away to their apartment for dinner. I never saw Gideon outside of their apartment. He didn’t visit me on campus or follow me around like Jai and Noel did. As Jai and Noel’s “boss,” he had other responsibilities—responsibilities he never disclosed when I was present.
Gradually, I acclimated to the new routine. It was nice to have friends, to spend my weekends with someone other than my own reflection on my computer screen. And my Guardians seemed to like having me around. It was hard to know for sure, of course. Perhaps they were just being polite. Maybe it was nothing more than a job to them. But to me, it was everything.
I’d never been a part of a family before. Deprived of friendship by my own social incompetence and Ms. Janet’s stringent rules, I globbed on to the warmth the guys offered. I’d been starved for so long, and like a dried-out plant, I soaked up their platonic affection until I nearly drowned in it.
But, glutton that I was, I couldn’t bring myself to let it go. Now that I discovered what life could be like with friends at my side, I couldn’t imagine losing it. But all good things come to an end. My Guardians acted like they were in my life for good, that they wouldn’t leave, but it was difficult to trust the unspoken promises. Everyone left me in the end, one way or another.
As Thanksgiving approached, the weather cooled, but the chill didn’t deter Jai from driving his motorcycle around town. Riding behind him on his bike spurred butterflies in my stomach every single time. With my arms fastened around his waist, I blushed and did my best to ignore the way his abdominal muscles rippled and flexed beneath my hands. By the time Jai parked under the carport, my fingers were nearly frozen, and he chuckled when he had to disengage my grip on his leather jacket.
“Doing okay there, shortstack?” Jai helped me dismount as my legs quivered from the rumbling ride.
“I’m okay,” I assured him until I recognized the teasing twinkle in his eye. I crossed my arms over my narrow chest. “I’m fine,” I said more firmly.
When we entered their apartment, my mouth instantly watered as garlic, herbs, and baking bread teased my nose. I inhaled the appetizing aromas and licked my lips. Gideon was home.
Out of the three angels, Gideon seemed to enjoy cooking the most. Jai and Noel could make dinner if Gideon was stuck working, but they didn’t possess the same talent Gideon did. Since Ms. Janet never allowed me to cook for fear of me making a mess or ruining her cookware, I was rather useless in the kitchen. But Gideon never forbade me from watching. Instead of shrugging me off as a nuisance, he would verbalize what was he doing and why in a subtle attempt to teach me. If I was lucky, he would let me stir the sauce or prepare the salad.
I loved being in their apartment. To a certain extent, I felt at home sitting within the confines of their strange little world and observing their family. It was nice being a piece of furniture in their lives, even if it was only for a little while.
“Honey, I’m home!” Jai kicked off his shoes, leaving them lying haphazardly in the entryway. I quickly righted his boots, setting them on the shoe rack—Gideon didn’t like clutter.
“Good. You can leave now,” Noel sang from the living room, and I smothered my chortle with my palm as I slipped my sneakers off and placed them beside Jai’s boots.
“Don’t encourage him.” Jai ruffled my hair, and I hissed as his finger snagged on a tight curl. “Shit, sorry.”
I followed Jai down the hallway, pausing in the kitchen archway as he turned the corner toward his room, shedding his leather jacket. Noel paced in the living room, chattering on his phone, but he spared me a wave and a smile. I returned the quiet greeting before facing the kitchen.
Dressed in a blue button-up and khaki slacks, Gideon stood at the stove, stirring something that smelled exquisite in a sauce pan. As if he felt my eyes on him, he glanced over his shoulder. The skin around his eyes crinkled with a barely there smile.
“Riley.”
I squirmed under his intense emerald stare. “H-hello.”
He turned back to the stove. “Do you like shrimp?”
“I, uh, I’ve never had it.” I padded into the kitchen and peeked around his broad body at the sizzling food. “Are you making shrimp?”
Shifting to reveal the stovetop, Gideon tipped the frying pan and stirred the browning shrimp. A creamy liquid bubbled in a saucepan as pasta boiled on the back burner. The oven emitted a toasty heat as it baked garlic bread.
“Shrimp alfredo on angel hair.” Gideon stabbed a shrimp with a fork, dipped it into the simmering sauce, then offered it me, cupping his hand beneath to catch any excess drips. “Would you like to try?”
I nodded, stepping forward as Gideon blew on the steaming bite.
“Careful. It’s hot,” he warned, and my stomach flipped at the sweet concern.
For a second, we fumbled as I opened my mouth to accept the food while he simultaneously twisted his wrist to offer me the handle of the fork. My mouth ended up brushing the back of his knuckles, and I blushed hotter than the skillet currently frying the shrimp as I mumbled an apology.
Awkwardly, I took the fork from Gideon’s grasp and shoved the shrimp into my mouth. Of course, it was hot. I nearly spat it out when it burned my tongue, but I was already too humiliated by our exchange to follow through. I persevered, instead, chewing the piping hot shellfish as my eyes watered. The flesh was sweet but spongy. Thankfully, the light, flavorful sauce compensated for the odd texture.
When I finally managed to swallow, I cleared my throat and handed the fork back to Gideon. “It’s really good.”
Gideon’s cheeks were almost as pink as mine as he set the fork on the counter and tugged his left ear. “Well, uh, good.” He nodded toward the doorway. “Go ahead and let the others know dinner is ready.”
I took the dismissal in stride an
d backed out of the kitchen. Gideon was the least affectionate of my guard, avoiding physical contact in most situations. I tried not to take it personally since he treated Jai and Noel in a similar fashion. Ever the professional, he remained aloof and stoic, leaving me wanting—for what specifically, I didn’t know.
“Riley!” Noel swept me into an enthusiastic hug, spinning me in a circle as my socked toes dragged across the carpet.
I yelped at his overzealous welcome. “Oh, um, hi. Did you have a good day?”
He buried his face in the top of my head and inhaled, like he was sniffing my hair. “It was all right, but it’s better now that you’re here.”
“We just saw each other yesterday.”
Dropping me to my feet, he waved his hand in dismissal. “Yes, yesterday. And now, it’s today. I missed you.”
He fussed over my unruly curls, and I let him preen for a moment as I hid my pleased reaction to his confession.
“I missed you, too.”
At my admission, Noel beamed, and the starbursts around his pupils sparkled like gemstones. I grinned, happy that he was happy.
“What did you do today?” I asked as he swiped his thumb over the corner of my mouth, pulling it back smeared with a drop of sauce from the shrimp.
“Oh, this and that. Angel stuff.” He popped his thumb into his mouth, and my eyes widened as he licked it clean.
“Angel stuff,” I echoed, eyes glued to his lips wrapped around his thumb.
Noel slipped his thumb out of his mouth, his irises darkening a shade. He hummed, cocking a slender eyebrow.
Blushing anew, I lowered my gaze and swallowed to wet my suddenly parched throat. My heart galloped in my chest as my palms broke into a light sweat. The reactions the angels inspired in my body were strange and frightening, but they exhilarated me as well. I was leery of foreign feelings, and this was no different. In my experience, new usually meant bad.
To make matters worse, Jai waltzed into the room shirtless. Dark sweatpants sagged on his hips, showcasing the band of his gray boxer-shorts. The expanse of skin, sparse chest hair, and chiseled muscles sparked butterflies again, and I nearly snorted in annoyance.
Was it really that difficult to put on a shirt? I had seen both Jai and Noel in different states of undress over the past two weeks, and it made me horribly uncomfortable. Thanks to Ms. Janet’s fervent teachings, I strived for modesty at all times. Even in high school, I never changed in front of anyone in the locker rooms before and after gym class. I used the toilet stalls.
“How’d it go?” Jai stopped beside Noel, lowering his voice as if he didn’t want me to hear.
“No luck,” Noel said on a sigh.
Leaning in, Jai rested a comforting hand on Noel’s hip, and when Noel angled his head to meet his Other’s stare, their noses nearly touched. Their proximity was closer than human boys would be comfortable with, but they either didn’t notice or didn’t care. Their casual acceptance of physical touch and closeness was difficult to witness.
To be honest, it was even more difficult to accept when they turned their attention to me. While Gideon hardly touched me unless a situation required it, Jai and Noel were in near-constant contact with me in some form or fashion. A touch of my hand, a brush of my shoulder. As much as my brain told me I should recoil from the touches, my heart yearned for the connection.
“How—”
“Later.” Noel blanketed Jai’s hand on his hip with his palm as his eyes darted my way for a moment.
I rolled my eyes at their secrecy and stomped to the couch like a sulking child. Over the past few weeks, they’d been whispering in corners when they thought I wasn’t paying attention or ceasing conversation when I walked into the room. Their job was complicated, and whether I liked it or not, there were things they couldn’t tell me. I hated being left out, but there was nothing I could really do about it, unfortunately.
“Dinner’s ready,” Gideon called, setting full plates onto the breakfast bar.
As Noel retrieved glasses, Jai delivered one of the heaping plates to my lap. It smelled heavenly, and once we were all seated with our water glasses on the coffee table, I dug in to the pasta with gusto. It was delicious, and Gideon’s dimple waved hello when I complimented him.
After we finished eating, I loaded the dishes into the dishwasher as Noel scrubbed the pans in the sink. Gideon and Jai had slipped out the patio doors to discuss something in private in the back garden. Judging from the scowl marring Jai’s face and the grim line of Gideon’s mouth, it wasn’t a happy something.
“So, I was wondering if you’d let me trim your hair tonight.” Noel paused in his scourging as I started the dishwasher. “It’s getting long, and I need to cut Jai’s hair anyway. Would you mind?”
I fingered the tip of a curl hanging over the top of my ear. “Not too short, right?” Ms. Janet had always shorn it too close to my scalp.
“No, just a trim.” He held up a soapy hand. “You can trust me, promise.”
That I already knew. I did trust him. Plus, my mop of curls was chaotic enough—there wasn’t much he could do to worsen it at this point. “Okay.”
He hurriedly finished the dishes and dried his hands before pulling me into the living room. Vibrating with excitement, he ordered me onto a stool he dragged from the breakfast bar then tore through the apartment in search of supplies. He laid the necessary items—scissors, electronic hair trimmer, a comb, and the like—on the coffee table, then pointed at my shirt.
“Lose the shirt, sweetie.” He winked facetiously.
I gripped the material tightly, my eyes wide. “What?”
“I’ll wrap a towel around your shoulders, but your shirt will still get covered in hair.” He laid his hands on my shoulders and squeezed. “We’re having a slumber party tonight, right? You’ll want to wear this in the morning.”
I was nearly as shocked at the slumber party invitation as I was by the command to remove my shirt. “I’m staying the night?” I asked to clarify, and Noel nodded. “I didn’t know. I don’t have pajamas or—”
“You can borrow my clothes to sleep in, and you can rewear these tomorrow. They’re not dirty.” He plucked at my T-shirt. “Unless you don’t want to sleep over. We can take you back to the dorms if you want.”
With a shy smile, I ducked my head. “I’ve never really been to a slumber party.”
“Then stay.” Noel’s finger traced the edge of my jaw, and I fisted my hands on my thighs. “We’ll watch movies and pig out on chips and cookies. We’ll wear toe socks and paint our nails.”
I snorted at that. “That’s for girls.”
“Bullshit.” Noel laughed when I sent him an incredulous look. “I paint my nails sometimes, and it’s fun. Does that make me a girl?”
I shook my head and glanced at his nails. They weren’t painted now.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to paint your nails, Riley. But you don’t ever not do something just because some rich, insecure council of strangers decided once that it wasn’t normal. You like what you like, right?”
Honestly, I’d never been allowed to like what I liked. I’d never been given a choice, really. On some level, I feared I didn’t know what I liked. I liked toe socks and mint tea, alternative music and pancakes. I enjoyed playing my computer games, reading books, and riding on the back of Jai’s motorcycle. I didn’t like button-up shirts or neck ties, and I definitely didn’t like kissing Kayla. But I didn’t think that list was what Noel meant.
“Shall we start?” He made a grabby motion at my shirt, and I haltingly raised the fabric over my head.
Few people had ever seen me shirtless, and I covered my skinny, pale chest with my arms as Noel sloppily folded my shirt and tossed it onto the coffee table. He made a point of not lingering on my exposed torso, and I couldn’t decide if it was in deference to my modesty or because he truly had no interest in what I looked like. For some reason, I prayed it was the former.
Not that anyone would be impressed by me,
least of all Noel. I was scrawny and practically hairless, missing even a hint at muscles. I didn’t blame him for looking away as he draped a towel around my shoulders.
Clutching the fluffy towel, I wrapped it around me to cover as much of my upper body as I could. Noel watched, lips pinched and eyes tight with a sadness I didn’t understand. His lips parted like he wanted to speak, but he thought better of it, closing his mouth with a grim sigh.
As Jai and Gideon entered the apartment, Noel circled the stool and snipped at my hair from behind. The two angels stopped to watch, their gazes heavy. I squirmed and fidgeted, uncomfortable being the sole focus of their attention.
“Keep moving and I’m gonna cut off your ear by accident.” Noel bopped me lightly on the head, and I froze.
“Then we’d need new carpet,” Gideon said with a barely there smirk. “Bloodstains are a nuisance to wash out.”
“Holy shit, did Gid just make a joke?” Jai snickered, and Gideon’s dimple vanished as the crests of his cheeks flushed.
Noel and Jai laughed at Gideon’s discomfort, but I bit my lip to quiet my own amusement. I didn’t want to embarrass Gideon further. Instead, I remained silent and motionless, ensuring Noel didn’t maim me on accident and stain the carpet.
With pink ears, Gideon lumbered toward the hallway, unbuttoning his shirt as he went. My gaze tracked his large frame as he shrugged it off completely. Golden skin stretched over corded muscle, and my throat filled with sand. His sleeveless undershirt stuck to him like a second skin, showcasing his rippling eight-pack and round, firm pecs. Heat zipped down my spine and settled in my toes, and I dropped my gaze to the carpet.
“What do you want to watch, Riles?” Jai distracted me from the weird bubbling in my stomach as he collapsed onto the couch, remote in hand.
“Whatever you guys wanna watch is fine.”
Noel and Jai exchanged matching eye rolls, but Jai didn’t fight me. “Okay. The Fast and the Furious it is.”
Revelations: Fire & Brimstone Scroll 1 Page 16