“There’s no reason to be afraid. We’re here. We’ll never let anything happen to you.” Noel cupped my cheeks, but I pushed his hands away.
“Stop babying him, No.” Jai voiced my inner complaint.
“He needs to know the reality of his situation, of what this could mean for him.” Gideon sided with Jai. “Ignorance is dangerous, as we’ve all come to discover.”
With a frown, Noel crossed his arms over his chest. “We don’t need to scare him, either.”
“I want to know,” I said, silently begging him to understand, and Noel’s shoulders fell in defeat. “I need to know.”
Gideon raked a hand through his hair, looking none too pleased about the situation. “For the past two decades, Nephilim have been going missing. No one knows why they’ve been targeted, but their numbers have dwindled drastically. From what little information we’ve been able to gather, they’ve been taken to the underworld. To my knowledge, none have returned.”
I didn’t realize I was shaking until Jai hauled me into his body, holding me against his bandaged chest. Noel took my hands and rubbed warmth into my frigid fingers, and I fought to catch my breath.
“We’re gonna take care of you, okay?” Jai whispered into my hair. “I’m not saying you shouldn’t be scared. You’d be an idiot not to be, but you don’t have to allow it to control you. Give the fear its place, then trust us to do our jobs. We’re going to protect you. No matter what.”
When my trembling subsided, I took a deep breath full of dokha, lilac, and peppermint. “I know. It’s just a lot.”
“It is. I apologize for dumping all this on you, but it cannot be helped,” Gideon said. “We have more questions than answers, and it’s imperative you understand the delicate situation we find ourselves in.
“For some reason unknown to us, your true heritage has been covered up. We don’t know if the council is involved or not, but regardless, I think it’s prudent not to bring too much attention to ourselves.”
“We do that anyway,” Jai said.
“Except this time, it’s not for our convenience but for Riley’s safety.” Gideon’s statement fell across the room like an axe blade, and my Secondaries straightened.
I cleared my throat, resisting the urge to raise my hand like I was in school. “I think I’m missing something. Why would we hide from these council people if they are in charge? Shouldn’t they know I was attacked? Shouldn’t they be protecting Nephilim? I mean, Nephilim are part angel, so they should get help from the heavenly authorities, right?”
“It’s complicated,” Gideon hedged.
“Then uncomplicate it!” I buried my face in my hands, reining in my aggravation. “I’m sorry. That was rude.”
Holding my wrists, Gideon guided my hands to my lap. “Don’t apologize. I understand this is frustrating. We only wished to save you pain, but whether you want to be or not, you’re now a part of this world. You need to know how to navigate it.
“To understand the way angels view Nephilim, you first need to understand their viewpoint on humans,” he said, and Noel and Jai scooted in until they flanked my sides, our thighs touching. “Until the Maker created mankind, angels were Their most prized works of art. We were the crowning jewel of Their creation, and we quite enjoyed it. But then, They created man in Their own image, and things changed.
“No longer were we the rulers. We were now used to serve. Virtues were charged to tend to the earth and its delicate ecosystems. Guardians were created to cater to humans who needed extra protection, the list goes on. As you can imagine, some angels didn’t appreciate the change.”
It wasn’t the first history lesson Gideon gave me, but the significance wasn’t lost on me this time. This wasn’t just their history; it was mine! The history of their people, my people.
“There’s a reason the Seven had such success rounding up support for their cause. They promised to restore order, to return angels to their rightful place.”
“Their rightful place over humans?” I asked, and Gideon nodded.
“Yes. We weren’t created to serve such helpless, cruel creatures.” He laughed without humor. “You have to understand, angels are not perfect. We have our own prejudices stemming from the beginning of time, even before humans. But humans tipped the scale. They were viewed by many with a value barely above animals.
“I like to think angels have evolved and grown, but there are still those that retain this viewpoint. Angels of higher standing who don’t interact with the mortal realm are more prone to these discriminations than those of us who live here amongst humans.”
I supplied the conclusion myself, “That’s why the angels won’t help Nephilim. Because we aren’t truly angel. We’re just byproducts of interspecific breeding.”
“Inter-what? Way to make something as awesome as sex sound boring and scientific.” Jai shuddered as a laugh punched from Noel’s chest.
Embarrassment licked over my cheeks, and I rolled my eyes. Even though I was currently undergoing my equivalent of a mid-teenage-life crisis, the hottest bubble of annoyance swelled in my belly. Obviously, none of my angels were pure in that sense, but the thought of Jai having personal experience… I was instantly upset.
No, Riley, not now! Save that introspection for another time.
“Thank you, Jairus. You continue to dazzle us with your class and wit.” I snorted at Gideon’s atypical sass, and he offered a hint of a smile. “Scientifically stated or not, you are correct, Riley. Many angels see copulating with humans as an equivalent to bestiality.”
“Ew.” I grimaced.
“Copulating,” Jai and Noel snorted at the exact same time, giggling like little children.
Gideon pinched the bridge of his nose. “For Trinity’s sake…”
I swallowed my own inappropriate snicker. Gideon’s age was never more apparent than when he used such archaic language. And the blush on his cheeks was pretty funny, too.
Of course, Jai refused to let it go. “Come on, Gid, stop sounding like a stuffy professor. We’re all adults here. You can call it like it is: good old-fashioned humping.”
“Adding banana to the fruit salad,” Noel chimed in.
“Dipping the corn dog.”
“Going heels to Jesus.”
Jai and Noel tossed the terms back and forth like a game of tennis, and my face was brick red by the time Gideon interrupted them. “Depths of Sheol, it’s like I’m living in a frat house.”
They laughed, and Gideon flushed a darker shade of pink. I never thought I could use the word cute to describe Gideon, but I was wrong. There was no other appropriate term as he glared and grumbled under his breath. It was nice not being the only one in the room mortified by Jai and Noel’s language.
“Aw, they’re both blushing.” Noel wrapped me in his arms like a baby and planted a sloppy kiss on my cheek. This did nothing to help my blush, but it did bring a small smile to my lips. “It’s too darn cute.”
“Put him down,” Gideon barked.
“Nope, I don’t think I will.” He nuzzled the nape of my neck, and his rough jaw scratched my skin in a surprisingly pleasant way. “We almost died today, so we deserve cuddles.”
At the reminder, my amusement melted away, and Noel loosened his hold, sensing my change in demeanor. “That’s why the hellhounds came for me,” I said, nearly clipping Noel’s forehead with my chin. “Because I’m Nephilim. They were after me because I’m part angel!”
“Mhm. Whether they were sent for you or came upon you by coincidence, they hunted you for this.” Noel’s fingertip traced my jugular vein.
The ghost of the demon’s fangs in my neck burned like acid, and I cupped the old injury. “So, I’m hunted by Fallen because I’m Nephilim, but I’m not offered protection by angels for that same reason?”
Jai’s knuckles grazed my cheek. “Pretty much. Technically, you have us, so protection isn’t a problem.”
“But the other Nephilim?”
“It’s not exactly high on t
he council’s priority list,” Noel said.
I groaned. My brain threatened to explode from too much information, and a migraine bloomed behind my eye. I had so many questions, but at the same time, I wanted to go to bed and sleep for hours.
Yet there was one last question needling my brain, a small voice straining to be heard. I didn’t really want to know the answer, but I had to ask. What child wouldn’t?
“Is that why my father didn’t want me?” My voice was too weak, barely above a whisper. “Because I was an accidental consequence of a relationship with a human?”
“Oh, sweetie, your sire probably doesn’t know you exist.” Noel slid his fingers into my curls and massaged my scalp.
Jai scratched the back of his neck and grimaced. “Listen, this isn’t nice to hear, no matter how we say it. So, I’m just gonna say it. Your sire most likely knocked up a one-night stand. He seduced some human girl to get his rocks off and didn’t call the next morning. It’s how these things go.
“Angels and humans don’t do commitment or relationships. Humans are mortal. They get old, and they die. Shit like love and emotion isn’t common between our species.” Pity painted my angels’ faces as Jai clacked his piercing against his teeth. “Your sire couldn’t keep it in his pants, and apparently, he didn’t wrap it up, and nine months later… mazel tov.”
Jai was right—it wasn’t nice to hear.
“So, either my father doesn’t know I exist, or he does and never wanted me.” I loathed the burn of tears, but the fresh rejection ripped open old wounds. “Maybe he was the one to destroy my record so no one would know his shameful secret.”
“Oh, sweetheart.”
“It’s okay. I grew up in the foster system, remember? I’m used to not being wanted.” I tried to laugh it off, but the last word stuck in my throat, choking me. “And there’s no way to know about my mother?”
No one answered right away, but Gideon eventually shook his head. “Without your record, no. I’m sorry, Riley.”
“S’okay. I always knew my parents didn’t want me.” I shrugged, like it was no big deal, but a traitorous tear leaked from the corner of my eye and carved a trail down my cheek.
“Parents give up children all the time for unselfish reasons.” Noel kissed the back of my hands, his own eyes glassy. “You were fourteen months when we got you. You know what that means?”
I shook my head.
“For fourteen months, your mother loved and cared for you.”
“If she loved me, then why did she leave me?” More tears splashed over my cheeks as a lifetime of pain surfaced. “Maybe I was a bad baby. Maybe I cried too much or didn’t sleep, and that’s why she didn’t want me anymore.”
My tumultuous emotions erupted like a volcano. All the pain and hurt, confusion and fear, everything I’d kept bottled up for years spewed out of me. Crying like a baby, I mourned the loss of something I’d never had to begin with, but I didn’t grieve alone. I was wrapped in two pairs of arms, cradled between two hard bodies.
Noel and Jai held me as I cried. The comforting weight of Gideon’s hand glided over my head, his fingers snagging on my unruly curls. They really were the only family I had, weren’t they? They protected me when I needed them, took care of me, even when I didn’t know they were there. When I covered them in salty tears and snot, they still held me. And if that wasn’t family, I didn’t know what was.
“You were always wanted. You hear me, Riles?” Jai’s stubble scratched the shell of my ear, and I choked on fresh sob. “From the moment we saw you—”
“We wanted you,” Noel finished his thought. “You’re our boy, remember? You’ve always been our boy.”
Gideon didn’t say a word, but he didn’t need to. His stare shone with sympathy and conviction as he swiped a curl from my forehead, then offered me a handkerchief from his pocket. I took it with a wet, mirthless laugh, mopping my eyes.
Noel’s chin rested on my head, and Jai’s face was tucked into the back of my neck. I shouldn’t let them hold me like this, not when I liked it in a most unwholesome way, but I let them. I clung to them as I battled for control over my unreliable emotions, soaking up the comfort and affection of their embrace.
Using Gideon’s handkerchief, I dried my face and blew my nose. Gideon rose from the coffee table and ambled into the kitchen. He returned with a glass of ice water, and I sipped the cool liquid, sniffling.
“I’ll be making contact with an old friend,” he said. “She has ears everywhere, it seems. Perhaps she’ll have some information that will help us.”
“You don’t have to do that.” Noel grasped Gideon’s arm. “There are other ways—”
“But this one is quick with little to no fallout. It’ll be fine.”
Neither Jai nor Noel appeared happy with this turn of events, but they didn’t argue. Weariness settled into my bones, and I burrowed into Noel’s shoulder and closed my eyes. My brain was exhausted, and my body ached. I just wanted to go to sleep and not wake up for a few years.
“He’s exhausted.” Jai yawned, and I copied him. We shared a small laugh. “How about you try and get some more sleep?”
I didn’t think I could, but I would try. “Okay.”
With Noel’s help, I staggered to my feet and shuffled toward the hallway. My feet were made of lead, and I dragged them behind me with every step. I never knew it was possible to be this tired.
“Riley, before you go.” Gideon’s hand landed on my shoulder, and I turned to face him, swaying slightly.
“Yes?”
Tugging on his ear, Gideon stepped back from me, his gaze travelling around the room without truly meeting mine. “I know tonight has been a lot, but I don’t want to ignore what happened yesterday morning.”
“Gid, it’s late. We can talk about that after we’ve slept.” Noel rubbed Gideon’s shoulder, and the large male nodded.
“Of course. You’re right. Now isn’t the time.”
The last thing I wanted right now was to rehash our argument. I didn’t have the energy for it. “It’s okay. I mean, it was a long time ago. It doesn’t matter.”
Naturally, Jai disagreed. “Don’t do that, Riley. Don’t dismiss this. We fucked up royally, and you have every right to hate our guts. Don’t act like it doesn’t matter when it does.”
“I—”
“He’s right,” Noel said. “What you feel is valid and important. Don’t dismiss it like it’s not worth anything. It is worth something. It matters because you matter.”
If I had any tears left to shed, I would have then. “I get why you had to do what you did.”
“But do you understand how much we didn’t want to? How we wished we didn’t have to deceive you?” Gideon crouched before me, and I nearly laughed at being taller than him for the first time ever. “Just because we had good reason doesn’t mean it was the right choice. The ends don’t always justify the means.
“You trusted us, and we betrayed you. I betrayed you.” He looked away, his jaw ticking. “I hope one day you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”
“To forgive us,” Noel added, his fingers squeezing Gideon’s shoulder. “It wasn’t just your decision.”
Utilizing courage I didn’t know I had, I knelt in front of Gideon and slipped my hand into his massive one. “It hurts that you messed with my head, that I didn’t know you were there in the times I felt so alone. But I believe you did what you thought you had to in order to protect me.”
Gideon opened his mouth to protest, and I squished his fingers to stop him. “Maybe there was another way, maybe not. But I know my best interest was at the heart of every decision you’ve ever made as my Guardian. Because that’s who you are.” I met Jai’s gaze then Noel’s. “That’s who you all are. You take care of me; you always have. And I want to forgive you. I want to trust you again.”
Noel’s breath hitched as he collapsed beside me, hauling me into an exuberant embrace, and Gideon tightened his hold on my hand. Jai rolled his eyes and gru
mbled under his breath, but he joined our group hug, lowering himself to the ground behind me.
“We will earn your trust again, little one.” Gideon’s thumb pressed into the back of my hand. “We’re not perfect. We make mistakes. As surely as we’ve failed you over the last twenty-four hours, we will fail you again.”
“I thought you were perfect,” I teased around Noel’s arm, and my angels chuckled.
“I wish I could profess otherwise, but we are far from perfect.” A flash of mischief lit Gideon’s eyes. “We’re angels, not saints.”
I laughed, snuggling into Noel’s shoulder. “How disappointing.”
“Sass.” Jai pinched my side, his scruff biting into my bare shoulder, and I squeaked like a mouse.
As the humor faded, Gideon tugged on my hand to capture my attention once more. “All jesting aside, I know you’re scared and confused and overwhelmed. I know you’re hurting, but I promise you, Riley, you’re not alone. You’re a part of our family as long as you want to be. Until you say otherwise, we aren’t going anywhere.”
Emotion swelled my throat, but I swallowed the sob fighting to break free. “I’ve never had a family.”
“Well, you’re in luck,” Jai rasped against the back of my neck. “We just got a Riley-shaped opening in ours.”
Noel squeezed me within an inch of my life, his lips skimming over my forehead. “We’ve always been your family.”
Gideon smiled, his dimple carving into his cheek. “And we always will be. I promise.”
All my life, I had been alone, but I didn’t want to be anymore. I wanted what they offered, even if I didn’t understand it completely. They said they were my family, and I grasped on to that promise with both hands.
I had no idea what would happen tomorrow or the day after. What I did know was come Hell or high water, my angels would be beside me. Whatever the future brought my way, I wouldn’t be alone.
Not anymore.
Epilogue
Lively jazz music followed Gideon into the bar. Hazy, smoke-drenched air hit him like a wall as he crossed the threshold, and he smothered the urge to cough. He had never been an advocate for Jai’s smoking habit, but he found he preferred the spiced dokha over the stench of cigars and sweat.
Revelations: Fire & Brimstone Scroll 1 Page 26