by Lacey Black
I should probably let you get to sleep. I hit send on my phone as I gather up a change of clothes for the shower.
I’m going to jump in the shower before bed. Wash this rock concert off of me
Well, if that doesn’t put dirty images in my mind, nothing will. Shit. I would give all of the money in my bank account to join her in the shower right now. To wash her body from head to toe.
Me too. Too bad we aren’t together. We could share a shower ;)
I start to wonder if I went too far when my phone dings again.
Too bad. Maybe next time ;)
Hell-fuckin-yeah! At least I know this attraction isn’t one-sided. Hell, I already knew it wasn’t one-sided despite what she said about seeing some guy. I could see it in her eyes and written all over her face when I kissed her on the cheek. She wanted more. Hell, if I wasn’t in a room filled with people, I would have given it to her.
I settle for a quick, Good night, Holly.
She replies instantly. Good night, Jase.
I drop my phone down on the bed and grab the cotton shorts from the dresser. The bathroom is pretty small in my bus and consists of a small sink, toilet, and shower stall. I turn the water on scalding hot. I always jump in and let the burn wash away all the sweat, grime, and perfume that’s stuck to my skin. No, not because I was hooking up with someone, but because these women throw themselves on me, hang on me, grind and paw all over me every night.
I’ll be a lying ass if I didn’t say that at first this lifestyle was fucking awesome. Women everywhere. Willing women. Lots and lots of women. Now, just the thought makes me ill. I don’t want that lifestyle anymore.
As the hot water scalds my already overheated body, I can’t help but lean my forearms against the cool shower stall wall and close my eyes. The water rinses away the sweat, but doesn’t touch the images forming in my mind. Holly naked in the shower. Holly running her soapy hands up my wet chest, caressing my neck with her nimble fingers, placing gentle kisses against my stubble-covered jaw. I’m rock hard at the dirty images parading through my mind on repeat like some late night porno. I try to fight the desire coursing through my body like an out of control freight train, but I can’t. It’s impossible. I want her too much.
I take a hold of my engorged cock and start to pump like a teenager. I should be embarrassed at a little self-love in my shower in my tour bus, but I’m not. I keep my eyes closed as I imagine her face, her smile, her laugh. I imagine it’s her hand wound tightly around me, followed by her sweet mouth. Her tongue licks up and down the length of me just moments before she wraps those lush lips around me and gently sucks me deep. I imagine the moans and the sounds she makes as she gives me oral pleasure. Her sweet moans as her eyes remain locked on my eyes are what finally push me over the edge. I shake and gasp for air as I unload myself in the small confines of the steamy shower stall.
I don’t want to open my eyes. I want to imagine that she’s right here with me, right now at this moment, running her tongue over every inch of my still pulsing cock. I shudder once again as I release myself and grab the soap to finish my shower. When I open my eyes, reality sets in and I’m all alone with my thoughts.
I’m just starting to step out of the stall and reaching for my towel when I hear Phillip’s loud voice from the other side of my bedroom door. I barely have time to wrap the towel around myself before there’s a quick double knock and my door flies open.
“What are you doing in here? We have sponsors that were expecting to hang with you, Jase. You can’t just run off. This is part of the job, and you know it,” Phillip chides as he takes in my towel clad body. “Are you coming back inside?”
“Nope. I’m done with people tonight,” I tell him as I slip on my running shorts.
“Jase, these people come from all over to see you. You need to remember who really pays your bills, man.”
“I get that, Phil. Really, I do,” I state as I snatch a clean t-shirt from the dresser. “I’m serious when I tell you, I’m done. I’m tired. I want a life. I want to settle down somewhere and maybe someday give the whole wife and kid thing a try,” I say as I slide the shirt over my still-wet head.
I look up at Phillip when I don’t get a reply. He’s looking at me with a horrified look on his face. “You’re fucking serious?”
“As a heart attack.”
“Is this because of Camille? Or that girl you met tonight? What was her name?”
“Holly. And no it isn’t about either of them. I’ve been thinking about this for awhile. When this leg of the tour is done, I’m taking a break. I’m taking time off. I’m thinking a year to start with, maybe more.”
“Jase, come on, man. You’re not thinking clearly. This is what you do, who you are. You are Jase fucking Bentley. You take time off and you’ll never be where you are right now again. You are at the top now, man. You’ll be lucky to play small college stadiums and state fairs,” Phillip says with a look on his face. It’s one of pure horror and shock.
“Well, maybe that’s what I want. Maybe I want to play those little places again.” I take a seat on the bed and look up at him. “Maybe I’m ready to step back and let the next big act take my place in the limelight. I’m not saying I want to quit completely. I just need a break. We’ve been going non-stop for more than three years now. I spend holidays on the road, stuck in a tiny tour bus or a hotel room. I’m rarely at my house in LA anymore. I have to schedule phone calls with my family and friends. I’m just ready to step back and relax a little.” I plead with him to understand with my eyes.
Phillip runs his hand over his face and through his hair causing it to stand up a little. “I see what you’re saying, Jase. Are you sure? I mean, really, really sure?”
“Yeah. I’m sure.”
Phillip exhales dramatically as he sits down next to me on the bed. “Okay. I’ll talk to the powers that be. We won’t extend the tour after this leg. Two more months. Can you get through two more months? Because I need you in this. We have deals and sponsors and we can’t start pissing these people off, Jase. This business is too damn small to start pissing everyone off. You’ll never get another deal.”
“I understand. And I appreciate your understanding, too.”
“Well, I can’t say I completely understand, but I get it. We won’t be breaking any contracts if we finish this thing out. Then, you take some time and screw your head back on straight. When you’re ready, we’ll get right back in this thing.”
“If and when I’m ready to come back, you’ll be my first call,” I tell Phillip honestly.
“Good to hear,” he replies with a small smile. Phillip quickly stands up and walks towards the door. “I’m going to head back in there and smooth over the ruffled feathers. I’ll tell ‘em you’re not feeling well or something. We should be ready to pull out of here by two a.m.”
“Sounds good. Hey, Phillip?” I say as I stand in front of my friend, my right hand man. I hold out my hand as I say, “Thank you.”
Phillip looks down at my offered hand and takes it firmly inside of his. “You’re welcome, Jase. And thank you for taking me on this ride with you.” He gives me a cocky smile. “It’s been one hell of a fucking ride.”
I laugh and pat him on the shoulder. “It sure has.”
“Don’t forget we have that interview with Trace Donohue Monday in Chicago. Then we have the media tour starting in Indianapolis and winding our way towards New York. Friday morning we have the hospital tour thingy, and then two nights in New York City and Boston. You’ll be busy over the next several weeks, man, but it isn’t anything you’re not used to.”
He’s right. I am completely used to this, but it still doesn’t make it any easier. After Phillip leaves the bus, I lie back on the bed and flip on the television. I had a satellite installed on the bus when I bought it so I can pretty much get whatever I want whenever I want it. I settle on a movie channel showing a Jason Bourne movie and wonder what Holly’s doing. I’m sure she’s sleeping now that it�
�s after one a.m.
Two months. I can surely finish this thing on top and finally get a little peace and quiet, right?
Chapter Seven
Holly
On Monday morning, I’m walking down the corridor after eating a burger in the cafeteria, heading to the emergency room when my phone buzzes in my pocket. I dig in the big pocket on the front of my scrub top and see a text message from Jase. When I open it, he has taken a selfie picture of himself with the Willis Tower in the background. His headline reads, In Chicago. You?
I step into the first available empty room and pull the curtain to give myself a little privacy. We’re not supposed to have our cell phones while on duty or in the emergency room with us, but most of us do. As long as we keep it on vibrate and in our pocket, they usually don’t say too much.
I snap a quick selfie with the blue and green striped curtain in the background and fire it back. Working, I tell him.
It doesn’t take long before he replies. You look beautiful.
Okay, I’m not going to lie. I blush. A lot.
I just fire back, Why thank you, when the curtain behind me flings open. Paul is standing there with a big smile on his face. My gut tightens as the smugness on his pretty-boy face. I drop my phone back in my pocket before he can ask any questions.
“Good morning. I’ve been looking for you,” he says as he reaches forward, grabbing my hip and pulling me forward. I stumble a little and fall into him.
“Hi, Paul. What’s up?” I say as I pull back and out of his arms.
“Oh, I’ve been having a morning. Dr. Tomlin is such an idiot. I’ve been following him around, cleaning up his messes all day. He actually told me to back off once or he’d have me removed from the ER!”
“Well, he is the doctor, Paul.”
“Yes, but I know what I’m doing. I have almost as much schooling as he does and more experience.”
Okay, this man is completely full of crap. First off, there is no way that Paul - a RN - has as much school as Dr. Tomlin unless he failed nursing school several times. Plus, Doc T is in his fifties. I think he holds the trump card on experience.
I’m practically held hostage by his constant rambling and complaining for the next five minutes. I started tuning him out though around ten seconds into his rant, and my mind drifts to Jase. Heck, my mind hasn’t stopped thinking about Jase. I thought about him long after we stopped texting last night. I dreamed about him. And I’ve walked around in some sort of love-sick puppy dog trance all morning. I can’t seem to get him out of my head. It’s like he’s pitched a tent and taken up residence.
“So, you see what I’m saying, right? You know that the man is just completely impossible to work with. Anyway. Dinner tonight? I was hoping we could spend some time together. Alone. If you know what I mean,” he says as he wiggles his eyebrows at me and I feel my gut take another twisting dive straight to Nauseaville.
What did I ever see in this man? He’s impossible and needy. He’s everything Avery told me he was - cocky and arrogant. Yes, the package may be wrapped up nicely, but inside, it’s nothing to write home about. “Sorry, Paul. That’s not going to work. In fact, this isn’t really working for me. I’m just hoping we can go back to being friendly colleagues again,” I tell him, determined to cut this man completely from my life once and for all.
“Seriously? But we didn’t even sleep together yet. Ask all the other nurses. You don’t know what you’re missing, baby,” he says as he strokes his thumb against my cheek.
I shudder, and not in the good way. I pull back, repulsed that he touched me and so thankful that all I ever did with this man was share a few kisses and maybe get a little handsy.
“Yeah, that’s okay, Paul. I’m good,” I tell him as I step back several steps and head towards the door. “I’ll see you around, okay?”
I don’t even wait for an answer before I turn and hightail it out of that room. I can’t get far enough away from him. Did he seriously think I was going to reconsider my break-up just because we hadn’t slept together yet? Actually, the more I think about it, that doesn’t surprise me as much as it should have.
I can’t wait to tell Avery.
*****
After work, I stopped by the grocery store for food. Cabinets and fridge - all empty. It was either buy food or lick the cheese out of the stale Ritz sandwich crackers in the cabinet. I opted for real food. Following an extended run through the aisles of the grocery store, I finally make it home from work, two hours after my shift ended. I’m starving so I quickly throw a chicken breast in the skillet and cut up some fresh broccoli for the steamer.
I don’t eat healthy all the time, believe me. I crave sweets and sugar like nobody’s business, but I do try to keep my meals simple and on the healthy side when I can. As I’m pulling the chicken from the stovetop, my phone pings with a text alert. I retrieve my phone from my purse and can’t help the schoolgirl excitement that takes over when I see Jase’s name on the screen. I slide my finger over the screen and stare at his incredibly handsome face. He’s standing in front of a colorful backdrop with big block text. The headline underneath the picture says, Trace Donohue Show in 30 minutes.
I snap a quick picture of myself with a smile and a thumbs-up and tell him to, Break a leg!
Just as I’m about to set my phone down, he texts back.
I’ll call you after taping.
Ok, I respond quickly.
I’m staring at my phone with a silly grin on my face when it hits me square in the gut like an ex showing up on your wedding day. Camille Douglas. Why the hell is Jase Bentley talking to me when he has a beautiful, supermodel girlfriend waiting at home for him? Is he really that kind of guy? Does Jase get off on finding small town, regular girls and showering them with a little attention, all just to what? Sleep with them? Of course he is.
My stomach flips and the nausea sets in. My chicken is forgotten as I sink onto the couch. Why is Jase Bentley calling me? I can run different scenarios through my head until I’m blue in the face, but there’s only one person who can answer that question. When he calls - IF he calls – you can bet your ass I’m going to find out!
Avery calls for our regular chat at six – okay, six-fifteen. She’s always late.
“I need out of this house! Please tell me that you can go for a walk with me tonight,” she says as soon as I answer the phone.
“Sure. What’s going on?”
“Oh, Ryder has been fussy all day and I need a breather. Maddox is giving me an hour to get away. Can you meet me at the entrance of the park?” she asks.
“Sure. Give me five minutes to change out of my scrubs and throw on sweats. I’ll be there in a few minutes,” I tell my best friend.
“Great. See you there,” she replies before signing off.
I throw on my comfy black yoga pants, an old sweatshirt, and my favorite Nikes, grab my keys and head out the door. A few minutes later, I’m pulling in and parking next to Maddox’s truck. She hops out and you can see the tension radiating off of her.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, concerned for my best friend.
“I just need a break. Ryder isn’t sleeping well yet and had a rough day. Brooklyn is giving me guilt trips for not playing with her as much as I used to, and Maddox is walking around with a constant hard on because, and I quote, ‘these four weeks are the longest of his entire life.’ Seriously, you’d think he’s never gone more than a few days without sex before. I know he went months and months when he was in the military. It’s not like there were a lot of options overseas,” she adds when we hit the brightly lit walking path through the local park. There are several other people on the path tonight, all taking advantage of the mild April evening.
I can’t help the chuckle that comes from my throat. “I wish I had some magic answers for you, Ave, but I don’t. When can you have sex again?”
“Well, it’s supposed to be six weeks, but I’m about to give in tonight. Not only is Maddox grumpy and horny, but I’m abou
t ready to burst myself. Every time he takes off his uniform, my body practically orgasms on its own just by watching him. It’s taking all the self control I have not to jump him. I can’t wait two more weeks,” she says deadpanned.
“You need to just rip off your clothes and parade around naked. You know that man can’t resist you when you’re naked. Do you want me to watch the kids so you guys can have some alone time?” I offer.
“Tempting. Let me see how tonight goes and then we’ll see,” Avery says. “Oh, before I forget to tell you, Mom cornered me in the kitchen last night at family dinner and wanted to talk.”
Avery’s family gathers every Sunday night at her parent’s house for dinner. I go whenever I can which isn’t nearly as often as I would like. Her mom’s cooking is absolutely outstanding. I have to unbutton my pants just to get in my car to drive home afterwards.
“Mom is taking me on as a partner at the bakery,” she says as her entire face lights up with excitement.
“Really? I didn’t think she would be ready to retire for awhile.”
“Well, she has been thinking about it more now that she has three grandkids. She wants to watch them for us. I guess Amber is already talking about quitting and going back to school, so her thought is to bring me in and we’ll do it together for a few months while she shows me the ropes. We’ll hire another person to replace Amber later in the summer, and when I’m ready she’ll turn it over to me completely,” Avery says with a huge smile.
“That’s amazing! I know this is something you’ve wanted for awhile,” I reply as we continue walking down the path.
“I have. Maddox and I talked and if she’s ready, then I’m ready. I grew up working at that bakery, and now I imagine showing Brooklyn the ins and outs of that place, baking cakes and cookies.”
“Who are you going to hire to replace Amber?” I ask.
“I’m not sure. Maybe we’ll put an ad in the paper?”
“Well, I’ll keep my ears open for you,” I add.