by Nia Shay
"Well, I think you'd better go in the back and cool your shit for a few minutes. Sara can wait on him." I paused, looking around. "Where is she, anyway?"
"Upstairs, at Coffee Jolt."
"Aw, damn it."
She folded her arms over her chest. "Well, sorry. No one expected you this early or we'd have ordered for you, too."
"No, that's not what I meant."
"I'll buy you a cup of coffee, Jade," Jordan called from the other side of the counter. "Least I can do after causing all this trouble."
I flashed him a distracted smile. "No worries, hon, you haven't caused any trouble at all. But you know, I think I'll take you up on that." I glanced back at Cara. "Think you can keep your claws sheathed for a few minutes?"
She snorted. "I'll do my best."
"Good. And if you find yourself tempted to punch anyone else, send Valeri out here to run the register 'til I get back. All right?"
Her blue eyes went glacial, but her voice was overly sweet as she retorted, "I guess you've got the exclusive on beating the shit out of customers, huh?"
I nodded, mimicking her saccharine tone. "That's why I get paid the big bucks, baby." With a final warning glare, I sauntered over to Jordan. "All done looking?"
"Yeah, I'll come back some other time. Um...sorry, Cara."
"Whatever." She gathered the jewelry with a single swipe of her hand and began to replace it in the case.
Jordan swept a mock bow, gesturing me toward the exit. "After you, ma'am."
We walked along in silence past the bookstore, the pretzel stand, and the jewelry repair shop, and boarded the escalator before he turned serious brown eyes on me. "Seriously, Jade, what the hell happened in there last night? I know you were working."
There didn't seem to be any point in denying it. "Yeah, I was here."
"Then tell me. Please? My friend Gwen works at the cell phone store across right from you guys. She said she saw Sara and Cara crying their eyes out when she left."
"All these people hear yelling and crying, but none of them thought to see if we needed any help?" I shook my head, snickering. "Gotta love people."
"Jade."
I looked over at him, frowning at the deep worry on his youthful face. It made him look far older than his years. I raised my hands in a gesture of surrender. "Look, it was no big deal, all right? My ex-boyfriend came in last night begging me to take him back, and I kinda went a little psycho on him. That time of the month, you know?"
"Okay, waaaay too much information."
"Sorry. You asked." It wasn't true, but it had freaked him out as I'd anticipated. Hopefully that would forestall any further nosing on his part. "Anyway, I guess we gave the girls a pretty good scare. Yeah, they were upset, but no one got hurt or anything." Well, except Zeph.
Jordan eyed me from behind his mop of hair. "You sure it was your ex? Not that asshole Kevin Lange?"
It took a moment for the name to register. "You mean Wiener Boy? No, he wasn't there. He smarted off to the girls in the parking lot when we left, but that's all."
"Good." He heaved a sigh. "Though I'll still have to kick his ass for being rude to her, but at least I don't have to kill him."
"Nope. Not today."
His frown deepened. "I should anyway. He should be in jail after what he did to them."
"Them?" I repeated, frowning. "What?"
"You don't even know what happened?" He raised an eyebrow at me. "I though you were their best friend."
I blinked in surprise at his words. I'd had no idea the twins considered me their best friend. Of course, that begged the question why they hadn't felt they could trust me with a problem. Shrugging, I said, "I'm their boss, Jor. Not quite the same thing."
"Well, you knew Sara was dating the prick, didn't you?"
"I knew she had a boyfriend, sure. I guess I just missed out on the end of the story."
Jordan looked at me for a long moment before speaking, as if weighing the consequences of telling me something I obviously wasn't supposed to know. Finally, he spoke in a hushed voice. "The last time he took Sara out, he drove her home and suggested they all have a threesome."
"He said that? Out loud?"
Jordan nodded. "Thus he couldn't walk upright for a week afterward. Because when Sara told him no, he told her Cara had already gone to bed with him twice since they'd been dating."
"Bullshit! She would never."
"Of course not. Sara didn't believe it for a minute, either. She told him to get the hell out, and he started getting rough with her."
My jaw dropped. "What! He hit her?"
"Just shoved her against the wall, from what she said. And he was trying to push her down on her knees when she punched him in the balls."
I bared my teeth in a savage grin. "Good."
"Then Cara came in, punched him in the neck, and kicked him in the balls." He laughed shortly. "He should thank them. I bet they swelled up so big they were visible without a microscope for the first time in his life."
I waved an impatient hand. "What happened after that?"
"The people in the next apartment came around to see what all the noise was about. Kevin had the good sense to take off after that."
"And again, nobody did anything? Why didn't someone call the cops?"
Jordan sighed. "The girls didn't want the police involved. They were afraid they'd get arrested for assaulting him."
"Why would they? It was self-defense."
"Only if the cops took their word over his. And neither of them had a mark on them."
Good point. I could see their logic--who would believe a couple of weird girls over a clean-cut college athlete? "That's why they didn't tell me," I muttered, surprised at the strength of my relief. "They knew I'd want them to press charges anyway."
"Yeah, well don't tell them I told you, either." Jordan glanced around as if worried we'd been overheard. "I don't want Sar...um, someone to get mad at me."
Aha. I flashed him a knowing smile. "So that's why you're taking this so personally, hmm?"
"I would have anyway." His tone was defensive. "They're my friends."
"So does Sara know you want to be more than friends?"
His skinny shoulders slumped. "I thought she did, 'til she started dating Kevin."
"Well, don't give up." I patted him on the back. "I'm sure she's really confused right now. Just be there for her, all right?"
"That's what I was trying to do." He tipped his head back the direction we'd come to indicate the scene in the store.
"Oh, don't worry about Cara. She's protective as hell under the best of circumstances." Like when she stops me from committing murder in public. I suppose I owe her one for that. Damn it, I needed to get my butt back to the shop and apologize for snapping at her.
I sighed, looking up, and realized we'd completely bypassed the food court while we'd been talking. We were about to run aground at the department store that dominated the opposite end of the mall. "Um...."
Jordan noticed, too. "Oh, hell! I'm sorry. Let's go back."
"Nah, it's all right. You didn't really ask me out here to buy me a coffee, did you?"
"Well, no." He ducked his head a little. "But I said I would."
"It's cool, some other time. Listen, let me ask you something."
"Fire away."
I paused, not sure quite how to phrase my question. "How can you tell Sara and Cara apart?" I asked finally.
"It's easy, they're completely different. Don't tell me you still mix them up."
"No, it's not that. Just...what do you see about them that's so different?"
"Lots of things." He shrugged. "Their voices. Their expressions. They way they walk. Why do you ask?"
"I don't know." I chewed my lip as I thought about it. Identical bodies, different souls--it seemed meaningful somehow, but I couldn't quite grasp it. At last I shook my head. "Never mind. Guess I'm just feeling philosophical today."
He smiled wryly at me. "Well, if we're taking a rain chec
k on the coffee, I'd better get going. I've got a job interview at the arcade in twenty minutes."
"Aw, you want to join our little retail family? How sweet." All the better to play the knight in shining armor, with his lady love working just downstairs. "Well, good luck. If you need a reference, feel free to drop my name."
"Thanks, Jade."
"It's Jandra, actually."
"Huh?"
"My real name. J-A-N-D-R-A."
"Hey, that's a cool name. Why don't you use it?"
What else could I say? "'Cause I'm soooo jaded, honey."
We parted company at the top of the escalator, with final promises to look out for the twins. I hurried the rest of the way back to Dissonance, glancing into the neighboring storefronts as I passed. No one seemed to stare after me any more or less than usual. Certainly nobody else asked if anything had been wrong last night.
Assholes. I couldn't fathom why it bothered me so much, though. I'd thought myself long since numb to the indifference of others.
Back at the shop, the twins stood united behind the register, watching me with guarded expressions as they slurped their iced lattes. I smiled at them. "Everything all right?"
"Yeah."
"Yikes. Knock off the talking-in-unison crap, you know it creeps me out." I swiped a finger through the whipped cream mountain on top of Cara's cup.
"Bitch," she accused mildly as I savored my stolen treat. "You've got your own."
"No I don't." I held up empty hands. "I managed to salvage the situation without taking any of Jordan's hard-earned money. Sorry I yelled at you, by the way."
"Whatever."
"Jordan?" Sara frowned at her sister. "When was he here?"
"A few minutes ago. Being a pest."
I wagged a finger at Cara. "Hey, don't knock it, brat. He was worried about you guys, which is more than I can say for anyone who was actually here last night. Don't take your friends for granted."
Sara scoffed, glaring at me "You should talk, after the way you treated Zeph."
My mouth fell open. I closed it with an effort, then managed to choke out, "Excuse me?"
"Oh, come on, Jade! You've got this gorgeous, amazing guy--"
"With hypno-powers," Cara added.
"--who's been longing for you and comes to find you and tries to win you back, like something out of a fairy tale--"
"You're romanticizing it," I muttered. "A lot."
"Whatever! It's obvious he adores you. He threw himself at your feet, for hell's sake, and you beat him up! You could've really hurt him. If that's not taking your friends for granted, I don't know what is."
I spoke through clenched teeth. "Apparently something I said last night didn't sink in, so let me say it again. He is not my friend. He. Has. No. Emotions. Savvy?"
She shook her head. "You keep saying that, but I never saw it. He seemed to feel things just fine."
"Yeah, thanks to the three of us. He mirrors people, remember? He smiled at you because you're attracted to him, not vice versa. And he talked to you because you were curious, not because he gives one ripe shit what you do or don't know."
I'd managed to keep my voice steady throughout my tirade, but I felt a nagging doubt even as I berated him. Was that true anymore? Had it ever been? Zeph's tortured expression haunted my thoughts, chipping away at the wall of self-righteousness that had protected me all this time. Suddenly I wasn't sure of anything anymore.
Sara barked a laugh. "All right, then by your logic he loves you because you..."
"Hey." I waved a warning finger in her face. "Finish that sentence and you're fired."
She folded her arms over her chest in a perfect gesture of so-there. "Besides, Zeph says he does have emotions."
"Oh, and you just automatically take his word over mine."
"Um, yeah. Because he wasn't the one acting like an escaped mental patient."
"That's right, he wasn't. You were." I tamped down my rising fury, drawing and releasing a deep breath before speaking again. "As I said before, you have no idea what you're talking about."
Cara frowned, clearly bemused by our argument. "You're right, we don't, because you didn't tell us the whole story. But you promised you would."
"I don't believe I ever used the word 'promise.' And now is hardly the time or place." I gestured to our very public surroundings.
"Fine, then let's go talk in the office. Val can run the register." As I opened my mouth to say 'no,' she added, "I never did get a chance to go back there and cool my shit like you told me to."
"You know, I think we've both been insubordinate today." Sara picked up her sister's line of reasoning, grinning slyly. "You really should give us a good talking to. Boss."
I looked back and forth between them, throwing up my hands. "Fine. Maybe then you'll believe me." Though from the looks of their triumphant smirks, I didn't hold out much hope.
Seven
We trooped into the office en masse, dismissing a perplexed Valeri, who agreed with a smile and a wink that the twins' attitudes were beyond unacceptable. When she picked up her chai tea and stepped out, I flopped down in the chair, letting it roll backward with my motion. The girls perched on opposite corners of the desk, facing me as a unit. I recalled Zeph in his similar pose the night before and shuddered. "You don't know everything, okay?" I blurted.
"Yeah. We established that already." Cara's words were a calm contrast to mine, for a change. "We're supposed to be fixing that right now, remember?"
"I know, I know." But I found myself reluctant to tell this part of my life story out loud. Despite his belief to the contrary, I had no interest in making Zeph out to be a villain. Maybe because I didn't exactly come out of things smelling like a rose, either. Or maybe just from my old fear of opening up to other people. Still, I couldn't expect them to be comfortable confiding in me if I wasn't willing to do so in return.
I took a deep breath and started to open my mouth, but Cara spoke first. "Here's what I don't understand. How did you get pulled into this Warden training when you were only eight years old? Your parents were just okay with it?"
I blinked, nonplussed. "Of course. My mother was overjoyed."
"And your dad?"
"Never had one. Or at least she never said anything about him. It was just the two of us as far back as I can remember. Then, the summer before I started third grade, these men came to our house. Society agents, though I didn't know it at the time. They were dressed like doctors--they did the basic tests, and took a few vials of my blood. A few days later, my mom woke me up and told me I was going to a new school for 'special kids.'" I snorted. "Which was a load of crap. It was just me and a bunch of tutors."
Sara frowned. "But...did she know what they were doing to you? That training sounds pretty harsh."
"Oh, yeah. She knew." I fell silent as I remembered the last words she'd ever spoken to me, the last time I'd called and begged her to let me come home. Precious few people are ever able to atone for the sins of their fathers, little girl. You'd best be grateful for the chance. I'd gotten word four years later that she'd died, without ever contacting me again. Which pretty typical of our relationship. We'd never been very close.
Sara's voice drew me out of my reminiscence. "So what does any of that have to do with you and Zeph?"
"Nothing. Well, a little, I suppose, since I was younger than the average Warden when I went through my training. See, I only gave you the basics before, but there's another, more...physical aspect to warding. By the Society's rules, I couldn't handle that part of things until I turned eighteen."
Two sets of eyebrows arched in mirrored surprise. "We're not talking about S-E-X here, are we?" Cara asked.
"No, but that's where it led, eventually. It's a very bonding experience, and well...I'd been in love with him for years."
"Yeah, I can see how that would happen."
I rolled my eyes. "Oh sure, he's gorgeous. That's part of it. But more than that, he needed me. And, naïve idiot that I was, I mistook th
at for his love in return. During those first few years, there were other Wardens that came and went, but I was the one who stayed with him. I was the one he called for by name. And when I was old enough, there was only me." I sighed with the memory. "The first time he kissed me, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven."
"Boss?"
"Huh?" I startled, and realized I'd been staring off into space for several seconds.
Cara's smile turned sympathetic. "So things went bad eventually?"
I nodded. "Big time. It got to be like an addiction after a while, for both of us. Do you remember how intense your feelings seemed around him last night?" When they both nodded, I went on. "Imagine loving someone that strongly. Imagine the sex."
They goggled. "Wow."
"Yeah, wow. And Zeph got a double dose--his own gratification, plus the echoes of mine. After a while, the sensations were all he cared about."
"So he was siphoning from you?" Sara asked, surprising the hell out of me.
"You heard me say that word last night," I recalled, shaking my head. "I forgot."
"Yeah. What does it mean?"
I had to wonder how much of our conversation they'd overheard through the office wall. "In short, it's psychological torture. Dark angels keep their Siphons trapped in their emotional state of choice and feed off them over a long period of time. Lust is the norm, though some of them prefer other, darker things. After a while, the Siphon really ceases to be a person anymore, just a puppet that produces emotion. A source for the dark angel to get his jollies over and over again."
Cara made a small noise of disbelief. "That is some scary shit."
"Yeah. And it's illegal, too, an automatic death sentence. That's exactly why Watchers have Wardens, so they won't be tempted. Some of them do it anyway, though." I looked at them significantly. "Any of this sounding dangerous to you yet?"
"But Zeph doesn't seem to be that way," Sara insisted. "And obviously you aren't some empty shell."
"Well, no. Things didn't exactly happen like that between us."
"So what did happen?"
I sighed, not sure how to explain. "He didn't interfere with my emotions per se. He just compelled me to give in to him when I wasn't cooperative. My feelings were genuine, but he used them to suit his whims."