Micki inhaled most of her drink and coughed it back out. She managed to gasp between coughs, “I haven’t asked him.”
Her mother sat her cup down and gave her the look. “And why not? Doesn’t he celebrate Christmas? I would like to get to know the man who’s spending so much time with my only daughter.” She narrowed her eyes and said, “Unless you’re hiding him. Are you?”
She couldn’t help the flush of heat that flooded her throat and face. Was she hiding Koivu? Nooooo—not really—not in the strictest definition of the word, anyway. What they had was complicated. She wasn’t embarrassed by him. It wasn’t that. She didn’t want to pressure him into more than he wanted. What did he want? She really didn’t know. Just sex? Maybe. God knew they were so in tune with each other that sex between them was off the charts amazing. So amazing in fact, that she’d been running on only a few hours’ sleep every day and had quit seeing him as a patient. His shoulder was healing well enough and she felt guilty sleeping with him (not that they slept) when she was officially treating him. If she occasionally gave him an after-sex massage, well that wasn’t unethical at all. In any case, she wasn’t ready to share him.
“Micki? Your phone’s ringing.” Danny held the phone out of reach so the ringtone could blast all over the kitchen and embarrass her to death. Koivu’s ringtone was Heathens by Twenty One Pilots. He said it fit his friends at Expat. She didn’t know them well enough to argue, although Benn seemed civilized enough.
Putting her hands on her hips, she glared at her brother and refused to play his childish game. Wearing her prim and proper face, she demanded, “Give me the phone.”
He laughed and answered it. “Micki’s phone. Who’s calling?”
“Danny! Give it to me!”
Danny sent her a mock glare and focused on the caller. “Koivu? Yeah, she’s right here. My mother wants to know if you’re coming over for Christmas dinner.” He paused, frowned, and said, “Oh? Yeah, sure. I get it. No worries, man. I’ll let my mother know.”
“Danny! Give me the phone right now!” She tossed dignity to the side and chased him around the kitchen island.
He held the phone out of reach, saying seriously, “Koivu says he doesn’t believe in Jesus. Says Lucifer is the only true son of God.”
Her mother rolled her eyes and scolded him indulgently, “Daniel, that is not funny. Now give your sister’s phone back. We have twelve dozen cookies to bake.”
Danny laughed some more but handed Micki the phone. “Here you go, little sis. You might want to talk to him about Catholics. We’re not big fans of Satan.”
“Jesus, Danny! You’re such a friggin’ asshole!”
Her mother looked horrified. “Mary Agnes Michelle Glass! Watch your language!”
“Sorry, Mom.” She snatched the phone and took it to her old bedroom turned crafting room for some privacy. She smiled into the phone. “Hey, you. What’s up?”
He was still chuckling. “Hey, baby, miss me?”
“Yeah, I do. So much. Are you back? Did the job go well?” He was out of town again. This time he and Benn had gone to Boston to pick up a missing person who’d turned up alive.
“The job’s done. We’re driving back now.” He lowered his voice. “Can I see you later? I need to talk to you.” Something was off. He sounded guarded. This wasn’t like him. She usually heard him smile through the phone.
“Is everything okay?”
He hesitated for a second before answering, “Yeah, everything’s fine. I’m just tired. Long trip. Long night. Apprehensions are a bitch sometimes. I’ll swing by your place about ten o’clock. Okay?”
“Okay, that’s fine. Are you sure everything’s all right?”
“We’ll talk later. I have to go. My battery’s dying.”
She ended the call with a frown. He didn’t sound like himself.
On her way home that evening, Micki dropped by the new shelter to check on the remodeling. The construction was nearly done. The contractors only needed to finish sealing windows and installing the alarm system. Everything else was done. The place looked wonderful! She practically floated through the bright, clean hallway to the large room that was now home to the kennels, a storage closet, and a play zone. Fifteen collapsible holding kennels lined one wall while twelve built-in kennels lined the other. Roughly six by six, these were made with three solid walls, top vents, and a gated front. One of the carpenters built and installed raised platforms for the new heated doggy beds. Benn had decided the entire complex needed music so he and Sid wired a speaker system throughout the place. She flipped a switch on the wall and music filled the air. Nice! Larry would be impressed. She hoped he’d be back one day.
She surveyed the room and made a few mental notes for decorating the walls and the waiting area. She needed to pick up new chairs and some office supplies. She couldn’t wait to move the last few dogs into their new home. Only two more days! Tallia was more than a lifesaver; she was a miracle in stilettos.
“Micki?” Tallia called out from the front office. “Are you here?”
“Back here!”
Rocking a black leather minidress with thigh high boots and a red leather trench coat, Tallia swept into the hallway with her usual infectious smile leading the way. “Well? What do you think? This place looks fab-u-lous, doesn’t it?”
“What are you doing here? You ruined my surprise. I was planning to bring you by once they were done with everything. Don’t you have something better to do?”
Tallia trilled a laugh and enveloped her in a Chanel-scented hug. “Girl, don’t you know I’ve got too much free time? Getting Dal Pals up and running is my big project right now. Well, that and getting Nash to take me out in public.” She winked and said, “He acts like he’s embarrassed to be seen with me! I know, right? Look how gorgeous I am! He’s gotta be completely insane.” She twirled like a ballerina and curtsied. “One day, he’ll come around. In the meantime, he’s worth fucking on the down low.” The woman had absolutely no filter whatsoever. Maybe that’s why Nash doesn’t take her out in public, Micki thought with amusement.
“Er, yeah, sure. He seems . . . hmm, sort of intense. I don’t think Nash likes me much. He’s barely said two words to me, and I see him nearly every day when I stop by to take care of the dogs.”
Tallia looped their arms together and steered her towards the exit. “Nash is uber intense 24-7, sweetheart. Trust me, it’s not you. He’s got a full plate of things you don’t want to worry your pretty little head about. Now, don’t you have something better to do?”
“Hang on a minute.” She turned off the music and lights before heading towards the front door again. “I need to get home to take a shower. Koivu’s coming over in a little while. I thought I’d make him something to eat. Maybe I should pamper him for a change. He sounded exhausted when he called from the road.”
Tallia stumbled and nearly twisted her ankle. A shadow of concern crossed her face, but she forced a bright smile. “Oh, I’m sure he is. They had a tough job today and a long drive back to Expat.” When they got to their cars, Tallia caught her hands and squeezed them a little too hard for a casual goodbye. She studied her with grave eyes before asking, “Micki, sweetie, can I ask you a personal question?”
“I guess. You sound serious. What’s the matter?”
Tallia glanced away, chewing her lip before saying, “Never mind. I’m being silly. It’s nothing, really. Just remember, I’m here for you. We’re friends now, right? Call me if you ever need to talk, okay?”
“Friends don’t drop cryptic messages and then walk away. You’re freaking me out a little. You’ve got something on your mind. Spit it out.”
Tallia still wouldn’t meet her eyes. She seemed to be wrestling with something and that was definitely freaking Micki out. What could possibly be this serious?
Tallia finally blurted, “What do you expect from Koivu? I mean, are things getting serious?”
The question caught her completely off guard. She wasn’t sure wh
at to say. She honestly didn’t know the answer. He’d swept into her life and took over her nights. He was an animal in bed. She craved him. She enjoyed him. She actually liked him a lot, but she had no idea what she expected from him. She wasn’t thinking that far ahead.
“Why would you ask me that? Is he seeing someone else? Is that what you’re trying to tell me?”
“No! That’s not it at all.” Tallia bit her lip again, clearly conflicted, and for once shoved her words through a filter. “There are things you don’t know about him. About his past. Has he said anything about it?”
“Like what, exactly? Does he have a kid someplace? Did he kill someone?”
Again, Tallia hesitated before her face became shuttered, and she cryptically warned, “Don’t fall in love with him.” She hugged her tightly and got into her car.
“Tallia! Wait!”
She drove off without looking back.
The doorbell rang at exactly ten o’clock. It was followed by several sharp, impatient knocks. Still puzzling over Tallia’s warning, Micki answered the door with a strained smile that spread into a foreboding ache in the middle of her chest.
Koivu stood there, edgy, unhappy. From the hard line of his beautiful mouth to the stiff set of his shoulders, he radiated tension. He hadn’t bothered to change out of his work clothes. The black tactical pants and clinging Expat under-armor shirt fit him like second skin. Dark, dangerous, mercenary . . . The handgun and sheathed knife only added to the overall impression of leashed aggression. His eyes were hot when they met hers. Instead of pulling her into his arms for a kiss, he asked formally, “Can I come in?”
“Of course you can,” she stepped back to let him in and stared at his back when he stalked right by her.
He glanced around the living room. “Thanks,” he said. The cool tone hurt. When had their conversations devolved to pleasantries?
“You’re welcome.” The ache in her chest expanded to her stomach. “Do you want a glass of wine?” She skirted him and went to the kitchen. Knowing he’d had a long day, she’d already poured them each a glass of cabernet. “You seem edgy. Would you rather have a bourbon?”
Instead of following her, he barked, “Wait!”
Turning slowly, she looked at him—really looked at him. His cheekbones were taut and white with strain, his jaw rigid. His incredible eyes glittered like icicles. He was holding himself together. He was upset. Not mad. “What’s wrong? Talk to me, baby.”
She cupped her hands around the nape of his neck, fingers twining in the soft hair. He let her pull him down for a kiss then fell into it with an angry sound. The kiss turned savage, brutal. He plunged his tongue into her mouth without finesse, without care. She struggled to break his hold, twisting in his arms, pushing at his chest.
“What the fuck, Koivu!?” she cursed as he ripped his mouth away, panting hoarsely.
“I’m done.” Breathing like he’d run a marathon, he wiped away her kiss with the back of his hand. “I can’t do this. I can’t do this anymore.”
She was confused for a second, asking blankly, “Can’t do what? What’s going on?”
His eyes turned glacial, stripping away her confusion. “Us. This.” He looked at the wall behind her. “I can’t be with you.”
She was so shocked she couldn’t find words. She went numb while her brain struggled to process. She reached out a hand, fingers brushing his sleeve when he jerked his arm away. “I don’t understand. What happened today? Everything was fine yesterday. You owe me an explanation. Saying you can’t be with me isn’t an explanation. I think I deserve more than that before you walk out on me.” The pain squeezing her lungs heated to simmering anger. Anger at him for disappointing her. Anger at herself for feeling again.
He watched her for a moment, his eyes softening, his mouth parting to speak, but he suddenly froze again. Growling a curse, he snatched her hands, dragged her against his chest, his eyes burning her up. “Don’t you get it, you dumb bitch? I’m a selfish bastard. I’ll stay here and use you until you’re so dried up and dead inside that even the crackheads won’t fuck you. You better make me leave before you beg me to stay.”
“You prick!” Her temper exploded. Seeing nothing but red, she punched him three or four times before he finally caught her swinging fists and held them in one hand.
She was heaving with rage and pain, but he stood absolutely motionless with blood running from his nose and lip. How dare he be so unaffected? Her throat tightened with a building sob until he shook her by both arms, his furious voice slapping at her. “Don’t you fucking cry! I don’t mean a goddamn thing to you. You took what you wanted from me, and now I’m doing you a favor. Forget me, baby, like I’m going to forget you.”
Her knees buckled. If he hadn’t been clutching her elbows, she would’ve crumpled to the floor. His words burned into her heart, branding her, scarring her memories. Forget him? As if she could. She finally found her voice though she wasn’t sure it was strong enough for him to hear it. “Get the fuck out of my house.”
Two days later, she poured a third glass of her favorite California Cabernet and turned up the volume on her stereo. Dorothy’s moody, bluesy song After Midnight sounded like some kind of autobiography. The lyrics warned of playing the devil’s game and no good love coming from pain. Oh, for the love of god, did the songwriter know Koivu? Because surely he was the fucking devil sent to tempt her into nothing but disaster with his easy smile and drugging kisses. She slugged half of the glass and stared drunkenly at the rich red liquid that dribbled over the rim. Catching it with her fingernail, she sucked it between her tingling lips and sank into the couch. What the hell was she doing?
When she opened her eyes again, the sunrise had barely penetrated the blinds. Pale, colorless light gradually chased away the lingering shadows until her refuge mocked her claim of strength. Yeah, she’d thrown an epic pity party and the evidence was almost embarrassing. The house was a mess. Clothes lay in a trail where she’d carelessly discarded them. An empty pizza box sat on the coffee table. Two empty bottles of wine stood guard at opposite ends of the table. Stumbling to her feet, she caught her reflection in the mirror and recoiled in disgust.
The woman who stared back was a disappointment. Her hair hung in clumps around her pinched face. The black bags under her eyes could be used as carry-ons. A fresh wave of fury started in her chest and rolled over her entire body. Gripping the cabinet to keep from smashing the hated mirror, she closed her eyes to avoid seeing herself. She couldn’t bear it. She sniffed back tears and hung her head. She’d done exactly what she swore she’d never do again. She’d let a man gut her. Shit.
Koivu’s brutal rejection hurt more than Jake’s lies. At least Jake had a reason for breaking things off, even if it was a terrible one. Koivu’s unprovoked and vicious words had struck her like a hail of bullets. She’d been totally blindsided. Would she feel this beaten down if he had ended things on a friendly note? She felt like death warmed over. Hangover? Flu? She barely made it to the toilet before the wine came back up. Hugging the cold, white bowl, she thought there was no possible way she could sink any lower. After throwing up everything else in her stomach, she brushed her teeth and filled the bathtub, adding some scented oil out of habit. Curling up in the hot water eased the aches and pains; inhaling the sweet jasmine fragrance soothed her troubled mind, but the nausea stuck with her. She heard her phone ring in the other room but didn’t bother to get it. She wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone. She rubbed her belly and ignored it.
Some minutes later, the bathroom door crashed open and Danny burst into the room, yelling, “Micki?”
Startled from a doze, she was halfway out of the bathtub before she realized she had an audience. She whirled back around to cover herself, and lost her footing. Down onto her ass she went. Water sloshed over the floor as her head bounced against the edge of the tub and she went under.
Laughing his head off, Danny hauled her upright by her arm. “What the hell are you doing in here
? Didn’t you hear me calling you?”
“Danny!” Sputtering bath oil and cold water, she sluiced her hair out of her eyes and groped for a towel. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack? I was taking a bath, you moron.”
Still chuckling, he retreated to the door and spoke over his shoulder. “I called. I knocked.” He turned around unconsciously and spoke to the wall over her head. “I thought you were dead or something. You didn’t answer the door so I let myself in,” he finished without a hint of remorse.
“Don’t look at me! I’m naked!”
He threw up his hands, but presented his back. “I’m not even looking at you. I swear.”
Finally wrapped in a fluffy towel with her hair slicked back, she massaged the knot on her skull. There was water and oil all over the floor. Yay. She dragged the bath mat over to sop up the mess. Could this weekend get any worse? “What’s so important you used your emergency key and ruined my bath?”
“Can I turn around now?”
She gave his lower back a shove through the doorway. “No. Just go make some coffee. I’ll be there in a minute.” She slipped into her bedroom and dragged on a pair of sky blue yoga pants and a well-worn Rangers hockey t-shirt.
The smell of coffee greeted her when she left her bedroom for the kitchen. She inhaled in anticipation of that first delicious cup. Her stomach protested.
“Hey, you look sick. Are you all right?”
“No!” she cried and bolted to the kitchen sink. After tossing her cookies again, she hung onto the counter, sweating and miserable.
Danny handed her a paper towel and stepped back. “What’s going on with you?”
She tried to brush it off. “I think I must’ve picked up a bug. I feel like crap all over. Isn’t the flu going around?”
He snickered rudely. “So it has nothing to do with the empty wine bottles? You don’t have the flu. You’re hungover. No wonder you fell asleep in the bathtub.”
Koivu (Demons After Dark Book Three) Page 18