Luc rocked back on his heels, considering Koivu and the rest of his Trinity with concern. He asked, “What happened tonight?”
Raphael sighed deeply. “He didn’t take the news well, Lucifer. I told him there was no way to return to Hell. He took one look at me and dove over the railing.”
Derick gasped, “Jesus!”
“Not exactly, no,” Luc said with a sardonic lift of his brow. His eyes flamed with his unholy soul and Derick jumped two feet backwards. Luc chuckled and dimmed his eyes. “It never gets old.”
Koivu mumbled something unintelligible and started to twitch awake. Everyone eased back to give him some room. When his eyes snapped open, there was a sharp cry from the other side of the room.
“Oh, my god!” Pale as a ghost, Micki clung to the doorframe for support. “I saw you on the news. I couldn’t believe it. I . . . I needed to see if it was you.” Her eyes were round with shock as she swept them from Lucifer to the living, breathing, back from the dead Koivu, and to Raphael. She began backing towards the hall, her hand on her chest. “What are you people?”
They all froze in a guilty tableau. Damn and Hell! “It’s not what you think.” Raphael got slowly to his feet, hands spread in supplication, trying not to spook her into running. “Come inside so we can explain.”
The poor woman was trembling from head to toe. As he approached her, she fumbled at her throat and brandished a shining gold cross. “Stay back, demon! Don’t come near me!”
“Micki.” Standing now, Koivu had eyes for no one but her. His gaze devoured her like a starving man devoured a crust of bread. “Don’t go!” The naked longing in his eyes was heartbreaking. Raphael was beginning to more fully understand Koivu’s despair. He’d lost everything that he held dear. No home. No family. No hope. No love. A man without an anchor was lost indeed.
To make matters worse, Lucifer decided that now was the time to take a hands-on approach. He intercepted Raphael and cut him off. “I’ve got this,” he murmured before producing a genuine smile. “Micki, please let me explain. You’re in no danger.”
By some small miracle, she let Lucifer come near enough to look into her terrified eyes and hear her thundering heart. Raphael held his breath when Lucifer reached for her hand, saying kindly, “Come and sit down. There’s nothing to be afraid of. The stress isn’t healthy for your baby.”
Her hand flew to her belly. “How could you know?” The blood drained from her face before she started screaming, “Don’t touch me!” She bolted as if she’d just seen the devil. Little did she know . . .
Raphael ground his teeth. Perfect. Just perfect.
“Shit.” Luc scowled at the echoes of her retreat.
“This is precisely why you’re not allowed on the human plane.” Raphael threw up his hands and shot his eyes around the room. “Someone needs to go after her. She can’t tell people about this.”
“I’ll do it. She already hates me,” Koivu said with a miserable edge to his voice.
Nash cleared his throat and said, “I’ll call Dylan. I have a feeling you’re going to need some backup.”
In spite of the fresh snow on the streets, Koivu broke every traffic law to get to Micki. It didn’t matter that the tires slipped, sending him fishtailing around the corner. It didn’t matter that he jumped a curb and nearly crushed a parked smart car. The only thing that mattered was getting to Micki and making her see the truth. Her shocked, white face haunted him, condemned him. She was terrified. Confused.
He was terrified too, but for a completely different reason. She was carrying his baby! Somehow they’d created something beautiful from the ashes of his devastated life. It was a miracle, wasn’t it? Desperation pushed him to go faster, to ignore stop signs. He didn’t know what he could say to her now, but he had to see her. He had to make her okay. Had to take away her fear. Had to hear her say it was his child. Had to hear her say she forgave him.
She was unlocking the front door when he careened into the middle of her yard and slammed the SUV into park. She whirled around in surprise, took one look at him, and yelled over her shoulder, “Stay away from me!”
“Micki, wait!” he shouted as he staggered across the snowy grass. “We need to talk!”
The stark terror in her eyes slashed at his heart. She was afraid of him. Damn it! He would never hurt her. He reached the bottom of the porch steps just when she slammed the door. The security bolt slammed into place. His gut told him this called for more finesse than he was capable of. A smart person would wait for Dylan to show up. Fuck that! He needed to get to her ASAP.
Pounding on the door, he shouted, “Micki! Open the door! I need to talk to you!”
“No!” Her shrill response came from the other side of the door. “Go away before I call the cops! Or a priest! You . . . you . . . you demon!”
“I’m not a demon and please don’t call the cops. I just want to talk. I can explain. Please, baby. Let me in.”
She burst into a choked, desperate laugh. “Let you in? Are you crazy? Why would I invite the devil into my house?”
This was going to be harder than he thought. He leaned his forehead against the door and tried to reason with her. “I promise I’m not the devil and I’m not a demon. I’m just a . . . man.”
More desperate laughter followed by a sudden chilling silence.
“Micki? You okay?” He pressed his ear to the door, straining to listen. She was breathing hard, sobbing. “Ah, baby, please let me in. I can make this better.”
“Why? So you can check on Lucifer’s baby? Oh, my god! I’m freaking Rosemary!” She broke into more sobs, wailing, “I have to kill it! It can’t live!”
“NO!” He resumed pounding on the door, desperately pulling the doorknob, using his shoulder to try to open it. “Don’t do that! It’s not his! That’s our baby. Yours and mine. We made that little miracle. Please believe me. Don’t hurt it!”
“But I saw Lucifer—”
“Goddammit, woman! The devil didn’t fuck you! I did! Let me in the fucking house so I can explain!”
“Maybe you can yell a little louder, moron? I don’t think the priest at St. John’s heard you.”
He whirled around to find Dylan and Tallia waiting with identical scowls. He dragged in a ragged breath and noticed the clusters of nosy neighbors who peered over porch railings and through front windows. Shit.
“I’ve got this,” he said without a hint of confidence.
Dylan eyed him with sympathy while Tallia tried to shoo the neighbors away. “Let me talk to her. I’ve got experience with demons. I can help her understand the difference between the Trinity and the monsters that fill horror movies.”
“Look, Dylan, I appreciate the offer, but let me talk to her first. I need to get through to her myself.” He swallowed the doubt and fear that both tried to climb up his throat. “I need her to hear me.”
She squeezed his hand and smiled sadly. “I didn’t realize you were in love with her.”
“I’m not.”
She leaned up on her toes and kissed his cheek. “Oh, baby doll, if this isn’t love, it’s a glorious start. You’re crazy over her.” She patted his arm, and said, “We’ll wait in the car. If you need us, just call.” She towed Tallia back to the car.
This time when he knocked, he resisted beating on the door like a savage. “Micki? Baby? Are you still with me?”
“I’m not with you.” Her tired despair tightened his gut. “I’m barely with myself right now. I keep thinking I’m in someone’s nightmare. This can’t be happening. Why can’t I wake up?”
“I’m sorry, baby, I’m so fucking sorry. I never meant for you to get hurt.” He reached out, pressing his palm to the door, seeking a connection to the woman who’d become his life rope.
“You never meant for me to get hurt? You have the balls to say that and expect me to believe you? You’re not even human!” Her voice rose until she was shouting again. “Oh, my god! Did you target me?”
“Damn it, no! Nobody tar
geted you. Why aren’t you listening to me?” He leaned his head against the door again. If he concentrated really hard, he could imagine the heat of her skin on the other side. He could picture her huddled with her knees to her chest; her face awash with tears. The instinct to protect her, to comfort her, was making him insane. Why wouldn’t she listen? Why didn’t she believe him? Choking on his rising frustration, he dug his fingertips into the two-inch thickness that might as well have been a mountain between them. “I’m not a demon. I’m just a man. You saw an angel heal me. He’s one of the good guys. If you’d let me in, I could explain this to you. I need you to understand. I’m begging you.” He heard the hurt and longing in his voice, but couldn’t hide the hopelessness washing over him. She wasn’t hearing him. She didn’t care about him.
“I’m not letting you in. Just go home, Koivu. I can’t . . .”
“Baby, please. Don’t do this.” His voice cracked as he broke down. Blind to everything except the gaping hole that filled his soul, he cried wretchedly, “I’ve got nothing! Nothing left! Nothing. You’re the only warmth I feel.” He struggled for control, but lost the little he had. “I hurt you to protect you. I thought I was leaving.” Trying desperately to feel her, he pressed his body to the door, hands clenched against the wood, heart laying cold in his chest. He whispered, voice gone, “Please.”
He heard her slide to the floor, her head thumping against the door. She was crying. So was he. He heard the raw anguish in his voice, but he didn’t care. He couldn’t hold back. The words came in a torrent ripped from his chest. “Micki, you don’t understand! I’m lost. So fucking lost. I’m broken. I’m a fucking ghost. Baby, I need you. You make me feel human. I need you before I fade away.” He pressed his mouth to the door, words a broken plea. “I’m fading the fuck away.”
She sobbed even harder, but her words were clear when she broke his heart. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, but I’m done. Just leave me alone.”
He stared at her door while the world crumbled around him. She wanted him gone, but he couldn’t take that first step that would make this real.
Chapter 15: A Worthy Cause
The day after Christmas was usually a day that Micki slept late and then went visiting relatives with her mother and father. When she and her brothers were children, they all piled into the station wagon and dutifully paid their respects to the elderly great aunts and uncles. This was never a warm and lovely family trip. There was always drama and threats to pull the car over right now. There were almost always tears and hurt feelings, but there were also homemade candies and nut rolls. Usually the goodies made up for the squabbling and she looked forward to the day. This was the first year she called in sick.
It was ten o’clock and her head still throbbed from an emotional hangover after the scene with Koivu. The ceiling provided absolutely zero advice even though she’d been imploring it for hours. Her thoughts weren’t even racing anymore. They just sat there in a huge lump of conflicting emotions so tangled now they resembled the junk drawer in her kitchen.
No force on earth could drag her from her bed. She couldn’t have moved if the house was on fire. Frozen in her memories, she heard his voice, harsh and desperate, filling her head as she struggled to make sense of everything she’d seen and heard.
I’m not a demon. I’m just a man. Was he? Was he just a man? Could a man really bring her to the dark, delicious places they’d gone together? Could a man make her feel so intensely, so achingly, vulnerable? Could a man bring her to her knees with a simple touch of his lips? Wasn’t it more likely he was supernatural? A demon, the dev—
Goddammit, woman! The devil didn’t fuck you! I did! Was that true? God, she hoped so because she had enjoyed every—single—moment. If those hands molding her body weren’t human, she’d be in confession for a year.
I hurt you to protect you. I thought I was leaving. Where did he think he was going? Why wasn’t he gone? Why was he crying on her doorstep?
Baby, I need you. You make me feel human. I need you before I fade away. Fresh tears welled in her eyes and she let them flow into her pillow. Damn it, Koivu. His pain reached out and wrapped around her like a living, breathing monster. She wanted to hold him close and never let him go, except . . .
Which end of Humpty Dumpty do you want? That was Lucifer—the devil—dressed in tailored slacks and a polo shirt. With Italian loafers. No pitchfork. No horns. No halo.
Her brain got stuck again. Lucifer? Lucifer! She’d been in his presence! He touched her skin! And yet, she felt no different today. There was no sense of corruption; no feeling of invasion; no evil taint to her skin.
The doorbell rang—and rang—and rang several more times before she finally threw off the covers and hesitantly went to the front door. She peered through the peephole and sighed. She totally should’ve seen this coming. Might as well get it over with. She unbolted the lock and opened the door. “What do you want, Dylan?”
Dylan stepped inside, pulling Micki into a hug on the way. They clung for a minute before Dylan broke away and said, “Put on some coffee, my girl. We need to talk and this is going to take a while. I’m about to blow your mind and save your life.”
New Year’s Eve:
“I can’t tell you how glad I am to meet you. Dal Pals is hurting for reliable volunteers. I’m not complaining, but I’m spreading myself pretty thin trying to manage this shelter and work full time. I could really use the help.” Micki beamed happily at the young couple who’d shown up in response to one of the fliers she’d posted around town. “What’s your name again?” she asked the woman.
“I’m Rori. Rori Manning.” She smiled up at the blond guy beside her and introduced him as her husband, Dec. “He has a soft spot for Dalmatians. We’ve rescued several on our own and kept one or two. They’re really special dogs. I’ve been looking for a way to spend some of my free time when he’s out of town. When I found your flyer, it felt like divine intervention. My volunteering will be a win for both of us.”
“At least it’ll keep you out of trouble.” Dec grinned down at Rori, twin dimples making him even more hunky and adorable. He brought Rori’s hand to his lips and pressed a sweet kiss on her knuckles. The gesture was so natural and honest that Micki knew they were one of those special couples that everyone else hated.
With a sleek waterfall of brunette hair and unusual golden eyes, Rori was stunning enough to be a model. Why on earth would she spend her free time cleaning out dog poop in a Brooklyn animal shelter? The couple was dressed casually, but their clothes were definitely high quality, as was the three carat rock on Rori’s left hand. Clearly they had cash to burn. She shrugged mentally and fixed her smile in place. If they wanted to give back to the animal community, she wasn’t going to question their motives.
“How would you like a tour? I was getting ready to close up for the day, but I’d love to show you around. We just reopened and I’m really proud of our new facilities.”
“That sounds great.” Dec wandered over to the front window, calling, “Rori, don’t forget to write out a check. It’s New Year’s Eve after all. We need to end this year with a bang before we go party later.”
Rori rolled her pretty eyes, but gushed, “We got engaged on New Year’s Eve a few years ago. This is our favorite day! Every year, we do something unexpected for someone in need. We’re so blessed. We like to pay it forward.”
“Oh, how sweet! That’s really kind of you to do something for a stranger. Happy anniversary!”
“Write a very big check! I like this woman already,” Dec laughed from the window. He seemed genuinely nice. Laid back and chill, as Danny would say; the guy was hard to resist. She’d been in a bad mood when they showed up, but now she couldn’t help feeling optimistic. Some people simply had that effect on her.
Micki flushed with gratitude and said, “Thank you so much. We’re always willing to take donations. You’d be surprised how expensive vet visits can be.”
“Hey, check this out.” Dec waved the
m over with a sudden, concerned frown. “There’s a three-legged dog on the sidewalk. He’s just lying there. Do you think he’s hurt? He seems to be having trouble getting up.”
“Oh, no! Was he hit by a car?” Micki rushed to the window expecting the worst. What she saw was only too familiar. “Ramses!” It had to be him. How many three-legged Dalmatians could be limping around Brooklyn? She took a closer look.
It was definitely Ramses with his new owner. Dressed in running clothes and a red beanie, Koivu squatted beside the prone dog examining him for injuries. She was torn. She wanted to rush to the dog’s side, but that meant talking to Koivu, and she wasn’t sure she could form the apology she owed him. She was so, so wrong about him. The middle of the sidewalk didn’t seem like the place to try to make things right.
“Is everything all right?” Dec got her attention by lightly touching her elbow. His fingers were oddly warm as they lingered on her skin.
“Oh, yeah, fine.” Was it possible for Koivu to look any more rugged and sexy? With his face shadowed and a pair of mirrored sunglasses hiding his eyes, he was mysterious and delicious. Who was she trying to fool? She wasn’t done with him yet.
Dec’s intense blue eyes studied her face until she blushed under the scrutiny.
“What?” she asked with a shaky laugh. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Sorry, darlin’. You remind me of another stubborn woman I know.” He shared a meaningful glance with his wife.
Koivu (Demons After Dark Book Three) Page 21