Transcending Nirvana (Dark Evoke #3)

by V. L. Brock

  “Kady, come on. I know your appointment is never usually on time with these things, but I need to get coffee before heading up anyway.”

  Removing my attention from one of the strongest men I knew, who was wounded by three simple words, was proving difficult. “I’m sorry, I just felt cornered and childlike and it held up a red flag for me…”

  I may have been sitting beside him, but I could see his eyes were flared and frantic as their gaze shifted desperately from his lap to the steering wheel, his hand lightly fisted into his just-fucked hair. When he looked at me, his hand dropped while his mouth formed a firm line, and the monotone in which his words were formed retained that moment of downfall. “I don’t want you to feel that way, so thank you for telling me. You’d better go. Call me when you’re finished and I’ll come and pick you up, alrighty?”

  “Walker, I’m sorr––”

  “There’s nothing to feel sorry for, darlin’. Something like that needs to be said, especially if it’s making you feel that way and holding up warning flags, right? Better said now than later. Now off ya go,” he leaned across and gave me a quick, chaste kiss before righting his posture. “You’re going to be late.”

  The smell of disinfectant should bring a small amount of comfort when you realize that, to some extent, the hospital corridors are one of the most hygienic places a person could be. The sound of squelching shoe soles ricocheted down the quiet hallway which was encased both sides with streak-free windows.

  “These appointments never run on time anyway, so I’m going to get us a coffee. We’ll need one to stay awake while we wait. I’ll meet you up there?”

  “Sure,” I nodded with a tightlipped grin. “See you in a few.”

  Dipping into my overly large white leather purse, I pulled out my cellphone and turned it off. I may have been severely pissed about Walker and Laurie going behind my back and basically embezzling money from the business into one of Walker’s accounts, but I couldn’t have been more grateful that they had. Leaving everything behind last Thursday night when I fled the house left me with absolutely nothing. It’s a horrible feeling literally not owning one solitary possession, nothing to call your own apart from the clothing on your back and the shoes on your feet.

  So Saturday, several hundred dollars were withdrawn from the account to at least purchase new clothing and a new cellphone. Things which I urgently needed.

  Nervously approaching the reception desk, the handset was dropped into my purse. A woman donning thick, red-framed glasses, which hung from a golden chain around her neck, peeked up at me before fixing the frames upon her face, then smiled warmly.

  “Afternoon. My name is Kady Jenson and I have an appointment at 1:20 with Dr. Leviton.”

  Flipping a sheet of paper over a clipboard, she took a highlighter and scrolled out my name. “If you could take a seat in the waiting area, you’ll be called shortly.”

  Muttering my gratitude, I turned on my heel and made my way through the double doorframe, my heels lightly tapping over the buffed flooring as I entered the near empty room. From the low coffee table in the center of the room, I grabbed the first magazine I found before taking a seat. Studying the cover page, with the attention-grabbing liner, ‘My sister is really my mother…’ I unhooked my purse from my shoulder, settling down to read.

  “So you remembered your appointment, then.” A voice sounded from behind a newspaper. On hyper alert, I tore my focus from the glossy pages just in time to see the tabloid being slowly lowered to unmask the source. “What’s wrong, Kady baby? Cat got your tongue?”

  I wanted so greatly to up and run away before he spat his venom. But my legs wouldn’t work. I prayed that my unhinged breathing would normalize before he used the physical evidence of my fear against me. Yet my entire body’s traitorous reaction spoke volumes. My heart was pounding, my ears buzzing, my throat constricting. It was finally when the magazine fell from between my tingling fingers, and slipped down my white denim pants to land with a slap on the glossy, blue flooring, that I saw that menacing look in his eye, and his ill-contained amusement at my unease.

  “Lia…” The nauseated feeling was swallowed back harshly. “What are yo––”

  “Doing here?” he finished in the most nonchalant way that he could. Looking a little unkempt, the good few days’ worth of unshaved scruff coating his jaw, and the black shirt unbuttoned at the collar didn’t faze him. “Well, when my girlfriend up and leaves and I hear nothing from her in five days, I decided it was either meet you here, or call the police and report you as missing.” The grin broadened as he folded the paper and rested it in his lap. “I thought this way was better for everybody. It gave you some time to reevaluate things and come back home.” Home? Reevaluate things? Did he think I was insane? He tapped the padding of the seat beside him as if beckoning a puppy. “Come and sit.”

  I shook my head. “No.”

  “No?” It was barely a second passing before his expression grew to be hard and defiant. Seeing me refusing to relent, he sucked up a deep breath. “Fine,” he grinned, and before I knew what had happened, the seat beside me squealed and griped as his weight was lowered into the pleather stuffing.

  “I should get them to call security.”

  “Ah, but you wouldn’t.” He sounded almost jovial at my predictability. I went to crane my neck to face him, but instead stiffened as he leaned into my personal space, the overpowering smell of too much cologne, the warmth of his body and breath had me screwing my eyes tightly and silently kicking myself for insisting that I would be fine when Walker offered to accompany me. “You see, that will result in the involvement of further authorities, and say whatever you will, but remember that I’m not stupid, Kady baby,” he whispered into my ear before resuming after a few torturous seconds. “Strong, documented medical history carries more weight than hear say, if you catch my meaning.”

  “Why are you doing this, Liam? Please, just leave me––”

  “Leave you? No, no, no, no, no, Kady,” he chided. “I can’t leave you. Well, actually,” he sneered, “you can’t leave me. I won’t let you. I own you.” His hand gripping at my thigh turned every muscle in my body rigid. Forcing myself to chance a glance up at him, I silently cursed Laurie for taking so fucking long in the cafeteria.

  “Wha––?” I began, but seeing the terrifyingly jovial smirk on his face, had me faltering. In that moment, I was sure that I would have been less intimidated seeing the Joker gut a rabbit. “What do you mean?”

  “Financially, I may have kept you and the business running for years, but you have always been the nucleus, Kady. You’re the center––little Laurie and that Irish prick gravitate towards you. Still, you all seem to be forgetting how much of an influential man I am,” he scoffed. “I’m the fuel, the flame if you will…”––his upbeat tone and sickening smirk were replaced by one of hostility and menace as he leaned in closer––“One spark from me, and see everyone you love burn.”

  My heart and lungs ceased right then and there with those words––that threat. In the back of my mind, I knew all along that this would have been a possibility. For days I had repeated the imagined words and possible events which Liam could easily set the wheels in motion for. Nothing could have prepared me to hear the actual words, however. The probability of that threat had just changed course. It wasn’t a ‘what if’ any longer, it was very much real.

  It was the moment a voice calling, “Kady Jenson, please,” traveled from beyond the waiting area doorway, which saw to it that my heart resumed its duty. I had never been as thankful in my life as I was then, finally being called away from the life-sucking monster that, only a few weeks ago, I called Lover.

  Jell-O legs barely sustained my weight when I shunted myself out of the chair and made my way shakily toward the opening. Sensing him behind me, I turned around. “What are you doing?”

  Wry pity blazed in his blue and green speckled eyes, his head cocked. “You don’t think I’m going to let you go in there
alone do you? You were released into my care after all. My presence here and the words I speak carry a weight that you couldn’t possibly comprehend.”

  Fuck, he was right. I was released into his care…panic seized me. The instant my head dropped, a commanding finger hooked beneath my chin, wrenching my gaze upward. The gesture brimming with intimidation would have gone unnoticed by any viewers, simply being recognized as a connection between a devoted man and his woman. He really was a master manipulator. And now I could see it for myself.

  “And that reminds me,” The man I once loved, but now filled me with terror, took a menacing step forward and loomed over me like a cursed threat from the heavens, as he whispered through gritted teeth, “They will question you on how come there were traces of valium in your bloodstream the night of the accident, just like they questioned me when you were unconscious. I’m sure you can think up something…believable…”

  Slanted pale blue eyes and the bright blond hair of Dr. Leviton had me inwardly questioning how so much could change in such a sparse amount of time. It had been only three weeks since I was discharged from the care of the hospital and into the care of my partner, a man who should have cherished me, not harmed me. How devious could one person possibly be?

  The natural light searing through the window to my right rebounded from the magnolia coated walls, making the office appear larger than it actually was. I occupied one of the seats on the opposite side of the oak desk, as Liam occupied the one beside me. Every nerve in my body trembled, every muscle tensed due to my mind racing in fear. While Dr. Leviton flipped through my notes, I wrung my fingers in my lap, anticipating a destructive hand to be laid upon me in some way or form by the time the appointment was bought to an end.

  His primary questioning sliced through the awkward silence. “So how have things been since your release, Kady?”

  “It’s been fine.”

  Leviton studied me from across the desk waiting for me to expand on my answer. Well, irrespective of his urging expression, he was going to be waiting a long time for it. What did he expect me to say? That everything was fine and that life can resume as before? I couldn’t say that. Nothing was fine––the situation as it stood couldn’t possibly be further away from fine. With my abuser sitting beside me, I knew that the words Walker spoke earlier that morning about telling the doctor everything, were never going to happen. Well, not now anyway.

  “Mr. DeLaney, have you noticed any difference in Kady’s behavior at all? Do you have any concerns?”

  My body immediately stiffening, I waited, restless, for Liam to excavate my grave with his answer.

  “She has been quite…aggressive. Her moods swings are, once again, somewhat erratic.”

  “That’s highly common with patients with PTA, Mr. DeLaney, so I wouldn’t say that there is a high cause for concern regarding that.” He peeked up from my notes in front of him. “What about your memory, Kady? The duration of PTA gives us an indication as to how severe the head trauma sustained was. Has anything sparked?”

  “Actually it has. It is the small things I’m having problems recollecting.”

  “But the majority of the three yea––”

  I may have been answering Leviton’s question, but it was aimed at the rather unkempt man beside me. Looking at him intently for a brief second, I indirectly made it crystal clear for him, spitting, “I remember,” before turning back to the doctor.

  “Well, that’s fantastic news, Kady.” Pushing back in his seat, he opened a drawer behind the desk. “I apologize for this, but it’s just a little problem solving task that we require patients to complete.” He offered a tightlipped smile then set the puzzle on the surface.

  Within minutes the puzzle was completed and Leviton smiled with an approving nod before placing it back into the drawer. However, the almost perplexed look he was sporting when he muttered my name caused my stomach to lurch, and beads of sweat were gradually increasing down the crevice of my spine. “I had asked Liam when you were here but maybe you could shed some light now that you can remember…” Here we go… “When you were rushed in, there were traces of tranquilizer in your blood work. Now, I’ve been looking through your medical notes, and I see that you have had them before…”

  I nodded.

  “You know that you really shouldn’t drink, drive or operate heavy machinery while taking them…”

  “What are you trying to say, Doctor Leviton?” my voice was small and weak. I had no idea what he was implying, and that feeling alone made me feel, once again, inferior. When he flashed a rather pleading gaze towards Liam, it become crystal clear…

  “It’ll be okay, Kady baby. I know it’s hard, but please, tell us what happened? We’re here to help you.” Unjust fingers bore into the flesh of my thigh causing a gasp to pass my lips. In a feeble attempt to get the pain to stop radiating up my leg, I closed my eyes and concentrated on my breathing.

  If I believe my lies, others will believe them, too.

  “I was feeling a little anxious about work so I took one before bed…”

  Even as the words left me, my mind was replaying the disturbing images of that night. Being trapped between Liam’s legs, his hand grasping forcefully at my jaw, coaxing my mouth open. His violent hand balling tightly and crashing against my ribs. The air being knocked from my body. The taste of salt and blood upon his fingers as he rammed them down my throat and dropped the pill on the back of my tongue…

  “I remembered that we had run out of milk, and I can’t function without my morning coffee. I didn’t want to disturb Liam in the shower…”

  Cascading water echoing. The pop of the shower gel overshadowed by his cheery voice singing: “Well, I guess you’d say what can make me feel this way? My Girl…”

  Swallowing harshly, my blood turned to ice, a shudder paved its way up my spine and down again. “It was less than twenty minutes after I’d taken it, so I thought I would have been fine just popping to the store, but…”

  “But it wasn’t. What it resulted in could have been much, much worse.”

  “I know. It will never happen again.”

  “One more thing which alarmed me: you”––the notes before him suffered his rapt attention as he flipped over yet more pages and spoke to the table––“have been under Dr. Oleman at Pinewood for just over a year.” He sighed as his inspection left the accumulation of medical bullshit and lies in front of him and crossed his arms over the desk anew. “I see that he had discontinued your stabilizers after a few months, and the tranquilizers were eventually the only ones that he would prescribe. Even so…he only covered you with two weeks maximum upon discharge at each time, and refills of further prescriptions hadn’t been noted.” His attention flittered from me to Liam and back again. “Theoretically, Miss Jenson, you shouldn’t have had any valium left to have taken that night.”

  “So what are you saying, Dr.?” Liam interjected, is voice booming.

  “What I’m saying is that there is no record of anyone prescribing further tranquilizers to Kady. Common sense dictates that she shouldn’t have had those pills, Mr. DeLaney.”

  I was sitting there, I know I was, but everything felt like a dream. You shouldn’t have had those pills, were the only words being reiterated in my mind. You shouldn’t have had those pills; you shouldn’t have had those pills. My ribs ached with the assault my heart was issuing on them. Enraged, my hands shaking with adrenaline, I turned to Liam, glowering. “You were the one who had con––” his right hand instantly clamped further down on my leg, causing the burning sensation to score through my muscle, yet his eyes were hard with worry. I winced, losing my words to his façade.

  “Kady, where have you been getting those pills from?” I jolted at the tartness of the familiar voice, one which dared not to be messed with.

  “I told you,” I squeaked, overcoming the smarting of his fingertips, “Yo––”

  I looked down to see the connection; his fingers were white with force, his hand practically t
rembling with the intensity of his hold. “This is important, Kady. Where were you getting those pills from?” he asked again. How he could keep his tone level I had no idea.

  What I did know, was that he wasn’t going to let me finish that damn sentence.

  Everything before me was swimming and distorted. Blinking my eyes, twin tears escaped over my lids as I turned to face the doctor once again, resigned. “I can’t remember small details. I’m sorry, I just can’t remember…”

  “This is a safe environment, Kady. You can talk openly here.”

  Oh, how wrong he was.

  “I really don’t know,” I whimpered, at the same time, Liam’s hand loosened on my thigh, and I immediately sagged in relief. Although I knew that that relief was going to be short-lived, in the calm before the storm type way: trying to explain to Walker the bruise which was surely going to be left, was going to be impossible…

  Chapter Six

  Laurie

  I must have kicked myself and damned myself to Hell over a thousand times as I waited, sitting in one of the grouching padded chairs which filled the waiting area. With my final sip of coffee, my self-scolding was redirected at the trainee working the cafeteria counter. If it wasn’t for her constant screw-ups and redoing order after order, then I would’ve been here with Kady like I promised I would be.

  Instead, my stomach knotted and devastation overtook at the sight I was left to witness when I approached the area, coffee in hand. Kady, the old Kady, the timid Kady who bowed to each demand of The Devil himself as he whispered in her ear, was being steered to the consultation room with her head hanging low and Liam smirking behind her like the sick, sadistic bastard he is.