by V. L. Brock
“Me? Oh no, how insensitive do you think I am, Kady?” he sniggered. “It’s crazy what friends in high places can and will do for you. In saying that, it’s crazy what friends in low places will do for a hundred bucks.”
“You sick bastard,” I wept and with a smile, his hand came up and struck me across the side of the face sending my flying onto the couch with the word ‘shrewd’ being overheard as I fought for breath.
“The adjective was shrewd. It got him out of the way didn’t it? He’s worried about old-man Walker; he’s not worrying about you. Now, what kind of man does that? Me on the other hand,” he held his hand to his chest, “now, I never let you out my sight.”
I was shuffling back further up the length of the couch as he prowled towards me. “Liam, please…”
“Liam, please,” he mocked with a chuckle. “We are going to take a drive. Do you understand?”
The second I nodded, his hand was wrapped around my wrist, dragging me from the sofa up to my feet. “My jacket, I need my jacket,” I muttered once he began leading me to the door.
“Now she’s finally learning. Go, I don’t want you catching a cold.”
I ripped the leather from the back of the chair and shrugged it on. When he wasn’t looking I took my phone from my back pocket and stuffed it into the pocket of the coat.
Out of the apartment and down the steps he guided me before going outside and standing next to Walker’s pickup. He swayed the keys side to side, letting them jingle before opening the door and pushing me inside. When he slipped in behind the wheel, I prayed that all the garbage the salesman fed me when I bought the cellphone was in fact true.
Blindly seeking the button on the side of the handset, I pressed it at the same time as saying, “Walker isn’t going to like you driving his truck,” putting emphasis on his name. I prayed to God this piece of technology with its voice dialing, was going to help save me.
Deranged, he let out a bellowing laugh before telling me to fix my seatbelt. I left the phone in the pocket, tearing my hands from the compartment and motioned to pull the belt across my body, before quickly reaching for the release of the door. He caught me though, and his right elbow connecting with my eye, halted my escape.
“Do I need to go all movie style and bind your hands up?” he asked with both my wrists in his hand.
“Okay I’m sorry; please…just don’t hurt anybody else…”
His eyes were deep, shining, and deranged, his sniffling increasing. I wasn’t stupid; I was wise enough to know that he was high as a kite. Liam was unpredictable and twisted at the best of times, but if he’d taken something…fuck only knows what sort of man I had just gotten in the car with. “Good girl,” he praised, his grasp on my wrists loosened and he forced the keys into the ignition, letting the truck roar to life. His hand lifted and his knuckles glided down the side of my face. I cringed. “Now she’s finally learning…”
My thoughts were erratic, going the same speed around my head as what Liam was doing in the truck: is Walker on the other end of the line? Was I ever going to see him again? Where was Liam taking me and what the Hell was he going to do with me? It felt like I had been in that seat for half an hour…in actual time it must have been ten minutes maximum. Ten minutes to figure out a way to get my location out to Walker if he was on the other end of the phone.
Shaking, I glanced over at Bricksdale Square. “Thank God, it looks like Laurie remembered to lock up Ent-icing this evening.” All I could do was pray that they understood.
A chuckle came from beside me. I simply smiled back, opting for nonchalance. But when his chuckle increased as his head tipped back against the rest, the fluttering of butterflies in my stomach stripped the smile from my face.
“You think I’m stupid?” he asked, pulling to a stop at the sidewalk. I was flailing my head fervently when he strained the question again. Suddenly, my head cracked the window to my right as his elbow repeatedly cracked the left side of my face. I was sure he just shattered my cheekbone. “You know she’s been with the Irish prick all day. Oh,”––he got closer to my face, holding my head still with menacing hands while his eyes widened and glimmered, his teeth chattering and sweat beaded on his brow––“Are you hiding something? Was that some kind of signal?”
“Liam, I don’t even have shoes on my feet, all I have is the coat on my back. How can I possibly signal anybody?” I cried, whilst frenzied eyes searched mine. “I know better than to underestimate you, and I never have done.”
My face was pulled closer until his lips were slanted over mine, his tongue pushing through my lips to slither into my mouth. A sob escaped me and a tear fell as I tasted the liquor on his tongue. He finally pulled back and I could breathe. “Kady, Kady, Kady…have I ever told you how happy you make me when you behave?”
We were a good few miles out of Dorchester when he leaned across my lap, causing me to flinch and tighten my legs together. “I still make you nervous, Kady baby?” he shook his head and clicked his tongue, displeased. “You know me better than anyone; you have no need to be nervous.”
“Then let me go. Please, I won’t say anything to anyone, just let me go.”
My words landed on deaf ears while he began tearing through the CD’s then focused back onto the dark road. He peeked down to each one in turn, “Nickelback…Nickelback…Nick––” he shook his head once again, but slipped one of the discs into the console before tossing the others to the side. “Doesn’t Lover-boy ever listen to anything else?”
Fear and worry gathered to form a fist in my stomach and a lump in my throat as we halted, coming to a red light. Against better judgment, I risked a peek up at the man behind the wheel. It looked alien seeing the monster there in Walker’s place. Maybe sweet talking might help…“Why have you taken me? What is this going to achieve, Liam?”
“Why have I taken you?” he threw my question back at me softly, and once again, I started when his hand lifted to my face. The once craved tender touch now had my blood turning to ice in anticipation. He smiled, a big knowing, thankful smile that churned my stomach because I knew what was coming next…“BECAUSE YOU’RE MINE!” he shouted the pressure behind his hand equaling the intensity and harshness of his voice. I knew it was coming and with everything I had, I prepared myself internally for it. Nevertheless, on the outside I was shaking. “I gave you clothes, money, a house, A BUSINESS––”
Horns blared from behind us informing us that the red light was no more. I had never been so thankful for a driver’s impatience than what I was then. With a soft snort, he reigned in the demon, patted my knee and pulled off.
My stomach churned when we took an unsuspecting hard right which lead to a side road. There were no lights just darkness––darkness and the feel of my heart lurching against my ribs, while Nickelback played continuously from the speaker.
“It’s very dark around here,” I hinted. “Maybe we should slow down a little.”
“Have I ever told you what it is like, Kady?” he pinched the tip of his nose while inhaling.
“What what is like?” With my head down low, I lifted my eyes to look in the side mirror, praying to see a set of headlights progressing in the distance behind us. Still, we were only chased by the darkness.
“To be untouchable,” he sneered when I turned to face him. I could feel the air hitting the side of my face as he lowered the window before unbuckling his seat belt and raising his arms in the air, the one hung from the window, while his foot lowered subtly on the gas. “I am untouchable. But you, Kady baby, you tried to destroy me.” I cringed and whimpered once he lowered his hands, and with one lightly grasping the wheel, the other sunk into the tissue above my knee, clamping down on the joint with a bruising strength that I was used to. “That is something I won’t allow to happen again…”
Just then, as those words were spoken, I closed my eyes and breathed deeply as I repeated my mantra, neither will I…
Nickelback was blasting about how you remind me from the spe
aker, and I shrouded myself with all those memories, as I mentally transported myself to each and every moment he degraded me, the beatings, feeding off my fear. The lies, the oppression, the isolation. The begging for his brutal beatings to end, and the weakness I showed him as I gave him something he never deserved…my respect. I didn’t respect him because he earned it, I respected him because of the fear he induced, a fear I didn’t deserve to live in. A fear I refused to live in again.
Take a weakness and turn it into a strength…
Screwing my eyes shut, I breathed, “I’m sorry,” before reaching out and taking ahold of the wheel…
Walker
The wheel that my hands were gripping with deadly force was his neck when the impact of him hitting her traveled down the speaker.
“You know she’s been with the Irish prick all day. Oh, are you hiding something? Was that some signal?”
“Liam, I don’t even have shoes on my feet, all I have is the coat on my back. How can I possibly signal anybody?”
It made me sick to my stomach knowing that she risked him hurting her just to give us a location of where to go. At the same time, it also showed a power that she had regained.
“Not that I’m grateful that she did that, but what is she doing?” Laurie asked, scowling down at the handset in her lap as I pressed my foot to the floorboard.
“Turning a weakness into a strength…” I muttered.
By the time we’d reached Bricksdale Square, they were gone. Each moment that I felt like we were back at the first hurdle, she threw another hint which I grasped onto like a starving man to bread. We knew that they were in my truck, so at least we knew what kind of car to keep an eye out for, while the soft squeal of my breaks and wheels hitting gravel hinted that they made a hard turn.
I slowed for a brief moment, concentrating on the sounds on the opposite end of the speaker, frowning. “Where could that be?”
Laurie shook her head equally baffled. “I’ve lived here my entire life and I haven’t got a fucking clue. Gravel…It wouldn’t be McGinty’s…”
I could feel my heart in my stomach as I hit the wheel. “Please, darlin’, give us somethin––”
“It’s very dark around here, maybe we should slow down a little,” came from the speaker as if she had heard me.
A small gasp of recognition came from beside me, followed by, “Oh, my God…Lovers Leap…”
“What?”
“And he’s sick enough to fucking do it…”
“LAURIE, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!” I shouted hysterically, my attention swaying from the road to her.
“It’s a make out point. It used to be called Lovers Lane when I was in high school; it’s a narrow road with an embankment to the side, but when you reach the top––”
“I don’t care about tourist information; just give me a fucking direction!”
Seeing her visibly shaking didn’t bode well with my gut. Nodding her head, she closed her eyes as if envisioning it in her mind. “Go straight; take a left after the old church on Fourth. There’s a small dirt road that puts you on it directly. Just be fucking careful. Too fast on a road that narrow…”––my foot pressing further onto the gas, I glanced back at her as her frantic directions slowed down to an eerie pace––“Then you’re going over…”
She wasn’t lying. The road was narrow and overlooked the abyss to our right. My adrenaline was fueled by listening to the sounds coming from Kady’s end, knowing that we couldn’t be too much further from her. I followed as quickly as I could around the bends up to hillside, pressing my foot as hard as what would be allowed.
Hold on, darlin’. We’re nearly there…
“I am untouchable. But you, Kady baby, you tried to destroy me. That is something I won’t allow to happen again…”
As his voice disappeared, the buildup of drums and guitar of my favorite Nickelback song halted. The determined tone in which the words, “I’m sorry,” were spoken down the speaker, sent a shiver down my spine…
Kady
I wouldn’t live the remainder of my days in fear, constantly looking over my shoulder. That wouldn’t be living, just another person in this world simply existing.
I held onto those images in my mind, the flashes of abuse he inflicted over the years and the resolve I felt as I came to accept that I would sooner end my life, than have to live dreading each day of it because of the unknown.
I tore that steering wheel down with so much determination and haste, sending us swerving from the narrow, dark road, through the barrier and down into the abyss below.
“FUCK, YOU STUPID BITCH!” Liam called out, his foot pressing repeatedly on the break as we ripped down the grassy embankment, the unevenness sending us bouncing in the seat. “SHIT!” he roared, striving to end the imminent collision, or at least slow it down.
I, on the other hand, accepted my fate. Sucking in a deep, purifying breath, I watched my life flash before my eyes, before colliding with the obstruction at full speed.
The music ceased.
Weakened, I pressed the release of my seatbelt, kicked the door open as the tinkling of glass shards dropped from around me, and fell to my knees on the grassy mound for a brief moment, my palms and fingertips sinking into the sludge. I didn’t think I’d feel the ground beneath me again. Warm blood trickled down my forehead as I finally found my legs and reared up.
“Kady,” Liam wheezed, his voice clinging to my name.
On shaky legs I inched closer to see his body thrown from the car upon impact, his debilitated state hanging through where the windshield resided only moments before.
“Kady,” he croaked again, “Kady baby, please help me.”
Blood trickled from my forehead as I watched on, deadpan, witnessing a man I once loved begging and in so my pain. It was sickly poetic. Head held high, I said, “No.”
Through the blood, gashes and missing teeth, he frowned. “No?”
I closed my eyes, my blink protracted. When I opened them, I could feel them darken. “NO!”
My answer provoked the demon that I was used to seeing, as with his remaining strength, he hissed, “You bitch…this is all your fault. Everything was your fault.”
Standing with my shoulders back, my head held high, I shook my head slowly…calmly, because regardless of the accident and the events of the night––thanks to my new found strength––that was how I felt. Utterly calm.
“No, Liam. Everything that happened, everything you did to me, the pain, the fear…I didn’t deserve it. It wasn’t my fault.” The tears came as for the first time I accepted the truth and the fact that I wasn’t to blame for his actions––every action that I justified and told myself I was to blame for, wasn’t my fault. And that reality was a wall harder hitting than the impact we had just experienced. “My conscience is clear, Liam.” I committed that moment to memory, the moment of revelation, the moment of complete acceptance, and as sickening as it sounds, I reveled in the sight before me. “I wasn’t to blame. You made me believe that I was.”
His eyes widened as a raspy gargle was heard in his throat. Blood passed his lips and although the body of the man I had once loved turned limp before my very eyes, I didn’t feel sadness or grief. I didn’t feel guilt or remorse. I felt at peace with the knowledge that I would at least know where he would always be.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
I was standing at the bay window watching the droplets of rain as they fell from the sky and collided with Walker’s window, leaving distorted streaks in their wake.
It rained continuously for the three days after that horrific night, as though Mother Nature herself was trying to wash the sight I saw before me, each time I closed my eyes. The bloodied body, the gashes…the way he laid, contorted and lifeless…
Hugging the button down, wooly sweater around my body tightly, I sniffled while the words of Detective Johnson echoed around the room. “The autopsy concluded that Mr. DeLaney was intoxicated. A large amount of amphetamine was also pr
esent.”
“I knew that anyway,” I muttered into oblivion. I turned to face the people of the room: the detective, Laurie and Walker. The gash on my forehead was once again held with sticky strips of tape, my jaw and left eye both swollen and black, my cheekbone still throbbing. “His wounds…”
“Were fatal, Miss Jenson. Regardless of if the emergency services were with you on site at the time of the crash, he wouldn’t have made it. You were very lucky.”
Lifting my gaze to Laurie, she smiled a knowing smile.
They had caught up to us after we’d crashed. Their frantic calling of my name and Walker’s blood-churning bellowing of the word ‘no’ still echoed in my ears. Regardless of the dangers the embankment held, they still scrambled their way to my side. For hours, I wept. Not for the loss, but because I finally made peace with myself. I finally made peace with the voice in the back of my head, the one which told me everything I knew, but was too wrapped up in justifying his actions with the belief that Liam loved me, to accept.
I was not the cause.
I was not to blame.
Each bruise, each cut, each time control was taken from me…it wasn’t my fault…
The bruises and the tape I was wearing on my face showed my strength. It showed I was willing to end everything, than be victimized once again and have him push me back into the steel box and relive the vicious cycle of abuse which would never change, regardless of how many chances given.
Those bruises and tape marked the final chapter…the chapter where Kady Jenson was the victim. They also reminded me that I had the power to fight, and that night, I fought to be a survivor that I am today.
Now, I have my life back.
I have my friends.
I have Walker.
I have my freedom.
Epilogue
Three years later…